Posted on | December 25, 2013 | 11 Comments
Hope everyone is in fine health.
Please continue to take good care of yourselves.
Still on hiatus. I guess one day it’ll be over and I’ll be blogging again.
Hopefully, 2014 will turn out to be infinitely better than 2013.
Posted on | September 2, 2013 | No Comments
Oh, that was a mouthful.
So, for some of you this may be old news, but I like this story….
On August 24 – 24, an event called KCON took place in Los Angeles at LA Memorial Sports Arena. This venue accommodated a doubling of attendance from last year to around 20k.
G-Dragon performed his new single Nilira with Missy Elliott. The history-making aspect being she’s the first and only, so far, non-Asian to perform at this KCON. Although she’s not the first black woman artist to do a song with a K-Pop star. Lil Kim did one with Se7en. I think Amerie did one with him as well. There may be others.
See how black women roll?
From what I’ve read, G-Dragon and Missy Elliott are mutual fans. He asked her to collaborate with him. What makes it work is that they have a similar style. They mesh very nicely – in sync, in rhythm and flow.
Here’s one of his videos. Most amusing.
Buzzfeed.com has more.
Posted on | August 29, 2013 | 11 Comments
One man served as a humble servant of the people and this nation.
The other thinks he’s the king of humbled servants, this nation, and the world.
Posted on | July 23, 2013 | 40 Comments
Things are definitely looking up for my family member. No longer seriously ill and the recovery is coming along nicely.
Thanks for all the well wishes. Now, I can totally stop worrying – at least about this…. :D
So, what’s new?
I figure I’d throw something up just to let you know I’m still here. I was going to write a detailed long winded post, but not right now. It takes me time to sink my teeth into a subject. That’s how it is being a slow writer.
Hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I went down to Atlantic City the day after 4th of July. The boardwalk has been rebuilt and you wouldn’t even know that Hurricane Sandy had thoroughly trashed and wiped it away.
[I don't know any of the people in the pictures, and I'm not in any of them!]
Anyway, hope everyone is taking care of business and doing all right.
Posted on | May 26, 2013 | 21 Comments
Happy Memorial Day, everyone. May our troops, veterans and allies stay safe.
I’m in the middle of a long, lovely, idyllic and idle weekend. Rather cold, but I like it like that. I remember a couple of summers a few years back that were rather chilly. Time is going by much too quickly, as usual. When we work, the week drags. When we have days off, they simply fly by. And I cannot believe it is half-way, mid-way through the year.
So, I’ve been asking myself lately:
- What have I been doing?
- Is it moving me forward?
- Have I advanced in any way?
- Have I (re)moved any major milestones?
I verbally spank myself a great deal. I try not to be annoyed with myself so much. To me, the perfect state of being is literally a blank mind. I wont be able to sleep if I cannot do that. I wont be able to drive. I wont be able to function. I often dwell and think too much about really really unimportant things I have absolutely no control over, because I do not want to focus on the big things that I must do.
Getting It Done
My approach for dealing with life is usually two track: 1) Little bites, 2) Big major moves.
It’s surprising to me, although it shouldn’t, how often I stay on the same track. It’s good when it is applied to stubbornly working to accomplish a difficult long term task, yet deadly when it’s used for avoidance and getting stuck in a rut.
Does that make sense? I know I’m beating dead horses in my life. I recognize it. Yet, I wont stop it. I discover notes, diaries and checklists from years ago. Same stuff, different day. Nothing seems to be changing.
Do you know how aggravating that is?
One of the things I’m always looking at is, How do I move forward? My personality, which I’ve been trying to change, or adjust for these situations, and for such a long time, I consider to be one of my greatest impediments. It is great for somethings. I am a Pitt Bull where it counts.
And I don’t ask for much. My list is quite short. However, it requires multiple steps to get there.
Lost in Lack of Self-Control
On some level, I think I can understand why people get up and run away, take too many prescription drugs, drink, get high all the time, work excessively long hours, push themselves too hard, are addicted to pain, pleasure and dangerous (sometimes criminal) activities. It’s about the distraction. It’s about getting the mind off that groove.
Unfortunately, it’s replacing one deep ditch for another. And one could get lost in the self for many years, forgetting what one wanted in the first place.
There’s this perfect limbo between absolute killing boredom and excitement so keen you could die of bliss. One cannot always chase the bliss … it can be destructive. But when you have to keep a certain state of equanimity day after day, month after month, because that is life… Oh goodness, life is extremely tedious.
I think it is a fine recipe for going bonkers.
So, what to do?
Everyone can talk about what’s on their minds. I’m just doing a little mental purging.
Posted on | May 8, 2013 | 4 Comments
He’s so very cute, that Mikky Ekko.
Doesn’t she look like she’s trying to fart in the tub at the end? That expression on her face….
Like the video, I only wish they’d been fair and have him without that sweater on. Nice arms. :D
I like this song too.
Posted on | May 2, 2013 | 37 Comments
Long-winded title, but hoping you get the point.
Maybe you’ve heard about it. Maybe you’ve been blissfully unaware of the hullabaloo that’s dominated the mainstream media for a couple of days.
See, what happened is an NBA baller (snicker) earned his 15 minutes of fame by declaring that he is – wait for it – wait for it – “gay.” Such an interesting euphemism. However, this is the deal: Jason Collins realizes that he enjoys, prefers and wants to have SEX, MAKE LOVE and HAVE RELATIONSHIPS with other men.
And he truly believes we, meaning everybody on the planet, needed to know this. Whamp. Whamp. (Sound of sad trumpet blaring.)
After I stopped laughing over the last few days, my hands were steady enough to compose this post. Ay, yay yay.
He Was Afraid of What Now?
Jason Collins is 7 feet tall. He’s a multimillionaire. He attended Stanford University. He knows the Clintons, Obama and other elites. That’s a big, powerful, well connected and wealthy closet he chose to climb out of.
So, I just wanna ask: How could anybody so ridiculously massive and intimidating claim to be fearful of being “gay” in this day and age? I mean, someone is gonna talk smack to a big black guy nearly 300 lbs in weight? LOL.
This is ridiculous.
Our Pretender-In-Chief, The Man Who Never Stops Campaigning
Obama felt the need to thrust himself into this particular spotlight by calling on this cloistered, privileged, bench-warming and obscure NBA player. He had to congratulate him on being a homosexual. That’s important. Really, really important. Glad to know what the President’s priorities are. ‘Cause it’s not like he’s able to work with Congress. It’s not like he can focus on the economy. He’s got better things to do. Like playing golf, shooting hoops, coming up with those all-important March-madness brackets, etc.
He shows us he can focus: Michelle once complained that she was a “single mother.” Totally understandable. He’s a busy man.
And at the press conference he needed to mention it again. There are homosexuals and lesbians playing professional sports. Who’da thunkit?
Maybe at the start of each game, as they introduce the players, announcers can add: “Welcome player number zero, OchinoDumbo. He’s a heterosexual from Baltimore, with 12 children from his 5 baby mommas. Yet, on long trips, he can be delightfully bi-curious.”
Waiting 8 Years on a DeceptiCon
The part of this story that I find interesting is who got the stiff (oh, wrong word), er, raw end of this deal. Seems that Jason had a white woman, whose name is Moos (I am not making this up), that he DATED for 8 YEARS. Even was engaged to be married to.
Now, ain’t this a blip?
This relationship didn’t end when he was a young man, maybe still confused, torn or excited. This dude was about 30, if not older, when he changed his mind. But he rode (oh, wrong word again), used this woman as his golden beard for 8 long years, while he thought, supposedly agonized, and mulled it over.
Meanwhile, she said on one of those interviews that she, “Had a script of how life was going to be”, or something to that extent.
What the Problem Is
It is NOT that he’s (finally) admitted he enjoys the sweet, sweet taste of sweaty scrotum. No, not at all. More people should be honest – they just don’t have to tell the whole world. No one really cares. The issue is that Jason Collins deceived a woman, used her youth, her fertility, her time and her mental “scripting” while he knew he was living a lie.
That is down low behavior, which is foul and the heart of how a DeceptiCon behaves. It ain’t right.
Now, people may sympathize with his conflicts, or situations, but it doesn’t mean he had to drag her into it. And for such a long time.
Ms Moos is partly at fault as well. You don’t hang onto a man for that long. I don’t care if you knew him from way back when, like in high school or college. At some point, you either cut bait or reel him in. I know, I know, she was waiting for the “pay off.” And the cynic in me feels that, she would have been satisfied being married to a man who occasionally played for the other team. Discretely, of course.
Well, that kind of arrangement is nothing new. She wouldn’t have mind, because she’d have the money, status and “stability.” Plus, a divorce or alimony would have been sufficient compensation for the “estrangement of affections.”
Black Women Get Reamed This Way Quite Often
My last bit of surprise is that this was a “well-educated good black man”, a.k.a. purple unicorn, pulling this kind of DeceptiCon on a white woman. Look, I won’t front, I honestly thought that when you see an IR couple, and it’s BM / WW, even if he’s gonna have his “issues” – he’s going to be genuinely attracted to her. You know, there’s that Mandingo, Snowbunny, Jungle Fever lust and “white women let me be a man” kind of thing going on.
This changes my perception, ’cause here we got a black guy who was being a DeceptiCon (on the down low) with a pretty blonde white woman for 8 years!!! This is the kind of thing that gets shrugged at if the woman is black. Does anyone really think the media would even be talking to a black ex-girlfriend about Jason Collins? Color me skeptical.
I noticed the media wasn’t sure how to handle Ms Moos: Was she a victim or will she play the sympathetic understanding woman? This involved competing angles: the 7 feet tall big black “gay” man vs a pretty blond ex-fiancee. I’d say Jason Collins got the slight edge. He won the homecoming queen crown of this event.
Shock and Oh Hell Naw
And what a gut punch that confession must have been for Ms Moos, which happened well before the media got full wind of it.
She wasted 8 years!!!! on a man who she now has to “replay those scripts in her head.” Those scripts where she thought he was a wonderful guy, because he NEVER cheated on her with those awful, skanky FEMALE basketball groupies. What a great and faithful guy she must have thought of her big black man. Now, she’s gotta be wondering about all those times he was out “balling” with his male friends. ‘Cause he spent so much time with his buddies, she never gave it a second thought.
I hope she’s gone through her battery of tests, being with a DeceptiCon can be deadly to a woman’s health.
Lessons for the Day
Doesn’t matter how much money he has, that pay day may never arrive.
If he’s hanging with his buddies too much, that niggling suspicious might be an accurate gut check.
A year, maybe even less, is really all you need to decide whether he’s marrying you or not. Anything longer and you are wasting your own time.
Shows that being in an IR doesn’t mean he cannot be a DeceptiCon. He might even feel more secure with his subterfuge.
And there is nothing HEROIC or COURAGEOUS about a man using a woman in such a cruel way to further his own means and ends. A man of any age can waste time, but a woman, unfortunately, cannot. Her time is of essence. It is her life and to use someone for that long a time shows a callousness that borders on being a sociopath.
So, it’s interesting to see that some black males, even when they get a hold of white women, are still a hot dysfunctional dishonest mess. He will be bringing all his baggage with him, that which he has always claimed belonged to black women.
How exhausting some of these men are.
And Congratulations to Mr Jason Collins!
You enjoy having sex with men. So do I. Welcome to the club.
Posted on | April 18, 2013 | 16 Comments
I meant to get this out earlier in the week. I usually want to avoid writing about topical news until enough time has lapsed. That’s because there’s always more information forthcoming.
Well, even with the little I do know, I don’t have much to say with regards to the Boston Marathon tragedies. Why? I am a low energy person. Some people are energized by outpourings of grief, anxiety – all these strong emotions or the theatrical pretence of it. However, I am drained by it. And looking at gory photos does nothing, but make me queasy.
I almost feel like if I don’t have this overwrought emotional response demanded by social media or the news – I am missing something. Like I am not compassionate somehow, like I must show some sort of empathetic response. But really, what does it matter and who cares what I feel? The only important people are those directly involved or injured.
To be frank, I am numb. Maybe disasters in the news isn’t happening every other day, but goodness knows one has to dial back abit. Cause lately it’s beginning to feel like everything is a disaster – even when the winds blow during a run-of-the-mill rainy day. I want real disasters treated like disasters.
By the way, in case I am misconstrued – all I mean is that what happened in Boston truly was horrible. Unfortunately, it will be overshadowed by narcissists who need to make it about themselves.
And must every event turn into social media candle light vigils? Does everyone need to show one was there? Do we immediately need to see who the deceased are, especially when they are children?
Must everything turn into an appearance by a politican who, as usual, will work in some distateful, unclassy policy position that has nothing to do with the event?
Anyway, what’s on your mind? The floor is yours.
Posted on | April 7, 2013 | 24 Comments
Spot Check: Controlling That Narrative About Beauty
I’m not the biggest fan of the man, based on his performance in office, but the shrieking and howling by the media is hilarious.
All I notice is that the biggest complainers of the President calling Kamala Harris, “The best-looking Attorney General in the country,” were white women in the media.
Folks, some people hate it when others are the center of attention. These white women, who claim to be feminists, but are really white women supremacists – in other words, everyone must worship them – just hate it when they are not the queen bees, beauty queens or objects of (sexual) attention for every man on the planet.
They complain too much about it for anyone to find them believable.
And it ain’t about sexism. That’s a phony cover. What actually made the comment objectionable for those white women complainers is that the President (who in their eyes is a black man) wasn’t doling out that delicious “Hotness Factor” to them. I can bet that if he said that about a white woman in the same position, none of these chicks would be whining about “sexism”.
|The pictures speak for themselves.|
Cause I’ve yet to see one of them get as bent out of shape and indignant when other men, celebrity or otherwise, talk about how they are the absolute finest women around. And that’s regardless of whether it is true or not about a particular white woman – as long as her hair is bleached blonde.
Jealousy doesn’t look good on these people.
Poor President Obama. He told the truth (from his perspective) about a black woman (yes, I know she’s mixed) and the liberals, progressives and feminists who are supposed to be his best buds turned on him.
Don’t forget now, the biggest group of voters who didn’t support Obama the second time around were white women, but you’ll never see that in the mainstream media. They have a narrative to push. I’m surprised they didn’t try to turn his complimentary remarks into hate speech – against them.
Well, I suppose it is, once the man uttered the word, “Best-looking”, they heard nothing else.
Ever see that kind of nonsense run amuck for any other group of people?
Yeah, yeah, I know all the parties in question are mixed, but I’m going with a bit of social grouping here. This is for when you ask yourself, Why does a very famous, incredibly powerful and wealthy black man have to apologize for calling a black woman good-looking?
Posted on | March 25, 2013 | 8 Comments
Did I get your attention?
I’m warning those of you who are very tender and sensitive to be aware that the next few paragraphs will be no-holds barred, non-politically correct, coming from my perspective and experiences (off-line). So, this isn’t something I gleaned from reading anyone’s comments, blogs, Facebook profiles, or having a third eye and happen to be talking about anyone’s intimate life or relationships from the psychic front.
In other words, don’t take what I say personally – if it happens to sound like you – well, that’s a weird coincidence, but I’m not going to apologize for you taking offense. And I’ll remind people who love to be offended for the sake of being offended: gnash your teeth, but keep it moving if you don’t like what I write, or run off on your little hooves to set up your own blog.
I’ve noticed that the words homosexual and lesbian tends to set off the easily offended brigades. Like just the mere mention of these words are breaking some kind of human rights accord. Being pro-homosexual or pro-lesbian doesn’t make anyone more moral, more just, or saintly than anyone else. I understand that they are the latest victim cause célèbre. I’ve rarely written about the topic, not out of intimidation, but because I had nothing to say about it.
Okay, so, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…. Let’s begin.
Yay. They Are Here to Stay. So?
I think ever since the AIDS epidemic, homosexuals have jumped into the mainstream media and they haven’t gone away since. The topic is ever more present today, since the Supreme Court will make some kind of ruling where they are likely to turn 5000 plus years of normalcy on its head, redefine marriage, because everybody needs special entitlements, otherwise life isn’t fair, and declare it some kind of ultra awesome Civil Rights / Human Rights win. That, of course, will yield yet another round of endless bizarre social battles for those suffering from ennui, in their eternal drive to fight endlessly about nothing.
Because a culture that has all that it needs, is bound to chase after all its wanton, selfish, hedonistic short-term needs to the detriment of everything else.
So, let’s say that it does happen, eventually this, or a future, Supreme Court discovers invisible text in the US Constitution allowing them to redefine marriage. Well, they’ve made up stuff before. They are supreme at pulling illogical decisions out of their asses. This will mean a government body has ruled that they are the sole authority, above nature, society, morality, religion, science and common sense as to what constitutes a natural family structure. At that point, I’d recommend the government get out of the marriage and family structure redefining business altogether.
Anything Goes: Then It Is All Gone
‘Cause isn’t the eventual goal to allow ANY two consenting adults to get hitched – bar none? They are “in love” after all. This whole thing is about hurt feelings: mean people not letting homosexuals and lesbians redefine the natural and normal family structure. In instituting the redefinition of marriage, they get to benefit from legally binding contracts in one fell swoop, reap all those sweeeeet, sweeeet government entitlements and somehow magically change the fact it is a sexual minority and not the norm.
Then you must ask yourself, why not other alternative relationships be allowed to marry too? Why not two non-procreative siblings? Why even draw the line at two people? I await the first fillings from a bi-sexual woman suing to marry a man and a woman, because she loves them both equally. And what right does the government have to limit her love to one person?
See where this goes?
What’s so interesting about the whole thing is that the same people who demanded that the government stay out of their bedrooms, uteruses, rectums and other bodily orifices are inviting the feds back in to redefine, regulate, register and recognize the whole kit and kaboodle.
Wonders never cease.
The Heterosexual Tribe: It’s Not Going Anywhere Either. See How This Game Works?
I am deliberately using the words norm, normal and natural. Being heterosexual is the norm. It is what most people are, despite what the mainstream media wants you to believe. That’s just the way things are. All of us who were conceived naturally wouldn’t be here if your father wasn’t interested in your mother and vice verse. If people want to believe 25%-45% of the population has sex, or really really wants to have sex, with the same gender – more power to them. The way it gets promoted, I wouldn’t be surprised when the day comes that the mainstream media reports this in their latest poll: like it’s a goal that young people need to strive towards.
Now, I’m not for demonizing anyone’s inherent sex drives. That’s the way people are. I do, however, find myself annoyed with the 24/7 endless promotion of it. There are a lot of shows where if there is a whiff of preachy, “They are so awesome, don’t we all wish we were them?” When that happens, I’m out. I’m gone. There are shows that have ‘em and treat ‘em like it’s no big deal. I can watch that.
When I feel like I’m getting a religious indoctrination message from the 24/7 alternative lifestyle crowd, I’m not coming back to the program. But it has gotten so bad I wish there was a TV code just like there is with violence.
Yeah, I went there, because sometimes I have my fill of sexual content on TV too.
Crotch Watching Amigas
During my early years when I was a frequent passenger on public transit, me and my girlfriends would take a keen interest in guessing male organ size based on the bulges presented before us.
Nothing makes a trip so fascinating as to wonder: is it a sock or is he really that big?
The Wishful Thinkers Club
Growing up, I didn’t know EXACTLY what a lesbian or homosexual was. I never had much exposure to the term or what it entailed.
My guess is that in this day and age, 4 year olds get to hear about it day and day out before they even learn to read. This probably explains why only 20% of high school graduates are functionally literate. Progress.
I didn’t receive full disclosure about this stuff, until I attended college and was exposed to what I’d now call the “black lesbian recruitment drive”.
And you go, Say what?
I was mostly oblivious to what was going on, but what I didn’t know was that the school was well-known (among the very street wise, which I was not) for having a large body of homosexuals and lesbians.
I had other issues with the school – it being overpriced was one of them, it was in a really bad location, the fake snobs (from the hood and suburbs) were annoying, but if I had a choice to attend the school again, I would never darken any of their doorways. I didn’t feel it was worth the price tag or hassle.
So, what was the recruitment drive like?
You’re hanging out with your girls, and one of them cannot keep her hands to herself. You gently remove the hands, and you think nothing of it.
You’re talking about guys, and one of them constantly and coyly talks about that there’s something about her that doesn’t work with her male dates. You shrug, figuring she hasn’t met Mr. Right or maybe school and work interferes with the relationships.
You’re looking for school clubs to join. Boldly, she says, “Hey, maybe you want to try that one.” She’s pointing at the, “Gladly having Lettuce Tomato and Bacon” table.
I figure she’s joking, “Naw, I don’t have anything in common with them.”
And she says, “Try it. You might like it.” I’m confused at this point, “Try what? I don’t see the point. It’s not my thing.” She drops it.
Eventually, you drift apart as friends, because not only are you too busy to hang out anymore, she’s joined the “Arts Club” where she claims, “I’m meeting a lot of people like myself.” I say, “That’s great. It suits you, because you’re really friendly and outgoing, right?” She looks at me real hard and says dryly, “Yeah, something like that.”
My Last Bit of Conjecture
Over the years, I’ve a met a few more black women like my college friend. There is a difference between those who obviously know what they are, and I find them refreshing because they leave me alone, and those who spend all their time playing stupid “wishful thinking games”. Maybe they are unable to be honest with themselves. I was once introduced to someone, because since I was too “picky”, that must mean I had to be into women.
I’m still slow when I meet black women who like to hint, hint, hint as to what they are. Frankly, I’m not thinking about it. It’s not what concerns me. If you’re interested in other women, that’s okay. But don’t play that game with me, that if I’m not telling you my personal business or intimate relationships that makes me a recruitment target.
I’ve heard my share of nonsense from black women who rationalize what makes one a lesbian, and if you look at this list, that’d be all of us.
- if she’s an ambitious hard-working career woman.
- if she wears her hair natural.
- if she’s overweight.
- if she doesn’t go to the job telling everybody about her personal intimate business.
- if she’s only into black guys, if that doesn’t work out OTHER black women are an option. Hey, maybe she just needs to be introduced to another chick like herself.
- if she has a high IQ (I kid you not).
- if she tries it she might like it, and so on.
And in situations where I meet someone from the “wishful thinking club”, coming at me with the above checklist, then I am the one who’s offended. ‘Cause I look at it this way, if I was one, I wouldn’t hide it. So, they in essence, are pretending that I’m hiding in some closet with them.
The gist I’ve gotten over the years – and this is from other black women – since I am a black woman who knows her own mind, somehow I must be able, ready and willing to move onto black women if it doesn’t work out with black men.
It nevers occurs to these people, that if a woman likes MEN, she’s gonna take them in all colors, not switch genders just to keep it within the same RACE.
I am a member of the heterosexual tribe. Always have been, always will be.
And if anyone is going to post a comment, please stay on topic. Anything off-topic might be removed.
Posted on | March 5, 2013 | 19 Comments
I thoroughly enjoyed the following comment by Stacey, so I decided to make it a post.
By the way, the post title is a general question, not aimed specifically at Stacey.
The following continues the discussion originating in the Black Actress Review: Just Wright – Big Boned Gurl Gets Good Guy Balla post.
Ok, I must respectfully disagree with all the pro-Morgan comments here. Just came across this forum and had to respond, seeing as how Just Wright is one of my favorite movies of all time. Morgan was a gold-digger all the through. I just don’t see why she should be praised. I have no respect for women like that. LESLIE is the one who deserves a standing ovation. She worked very hard to achieve her goals–even bought her own house (on her OWN) Leslie had a heart-of-gold. She cared about all the people around her. She didn’t have any ulterior motives. Leslie was genuine, REAL. And that’s why I rooted for her from beginning to end.
I can relate so much more to Leslie than Morgan. Because I don’t feel that I need to bat my eyelashes and manipulate a man to get ahead. Just like Leslie, I want to be able to pay my own way.
I LOVE the way the movie ended. Scott finally opened his yes and realized that Leslie’s “The One”. And I love that Leslie didn’t have to change who she was. I love that she was still wearing her favorite Nets jersey at the end. She didn’t have to convert to some shallow glamour-girl to get her dream-guy. Leslie was fine just the way she was–there was no need for her to change. One of my fav moments of the movie: Scott gazing at Leslie when they were both sitting at the piano(he so wanted to kiss her)…and she was in her robe, without an ounce of make-up on—LOVE it!
And I gotta admit that I actually gained some respect for Morgan in the end(she realized that Scott was in love with Leslie and told him where to find her) Morgan could’ve schemed and plotted (although, it wouldn’t have done any good because Scott was already on his way to find Leslie–he even told Morgan, “I’m sorry, but it’s not gonna work)
Leslie was beautiful on the inside AND the outside. She didn’t care about Scott’s fame and fortune. She was up at 3 in the morn, giving him a pep-talk because she truly cared. The movie ended just as it should have: two people coming together for the right reason–because they truly love and respect each other, because they’re meant to be together. From their very first scene, it was obvious to me that Scott & Leslie belong together. They just fit together so perfectly. And this movie remains one of my all-time fav
rom-coms. KUDOS to Queen Latifah & Common!
Hello, Stacey. I liked your comment. You’ve given me so much to work with, but I’ll only bite a few portions.
I see what you mean, but this was about a movie that took what was unrealistic and made it into an interesting fairy tale. We were discussing how reality would have played out, and in each and every case Morgan would be the winner.
Morgan is Old School
I really believe black women hear such ridiculous, hypocritical, contradictory nonsense from black males they aren’t sure what they want to be.
Morgan is not a gold digger. There’s no reason to resent, dislike or be angry with her. She’s a realist. Her behavior was very feminine, self-assured, flirty, alluring and mysterious. She knew how to make (and keep) a man interested. That’s very normal and healthy. It is not manipulating a man!!! It is just a subtle way of saying, “Hey, I like you, you can chase me if you want.”
She was what most women were at one time – looking for a husband with the financial means to support his family. I know that’s changed in these times. Frankly, I look at her as being old fashioned. She was doing something that worked in an era where people understood social cues and signals.
Today, everybody seems rather lost about how to behave, even in showing basic manners. We’re lucky if we find a guy who doesn’t insist we pay for the meal, and simply wants to go Dutch. The meal tastes better if from jump he wants to pay and leaves a decent tip for the server. He looks like a good guy if he wants to take care of you. That’s a winner. That’s the best feeling in the world.
Leslie is What’s Up Now With Black Women
As for the “hardworking modern woman” character, Leslie is doing what she has to do. Like most of us, paying our own way is the default mode of life regardless. And that’s fine. We live in an age where it does make sense to have your stuff. I wouldn’t deny that.
However, even if you combined Morgan and Leslie into one woman, I would prefer that Scott dealt with Morgan’s personality and looks, while Leslie’s characteristics stayed (mostly) hidden.
The Ethical Flaw and Self-Harm
The problem with Leslie is that she was an employee whose job it was to look after Scott. I know if he was a white / Asian / Latino guy, you’d probably see immediately the problem with her cooking, cleaning and sexing him while he’s emotionally unavailable, on the rebound (still in love with Morgan), and working hard to do her job in making him physically / mentally fit to return to work. She may have fallen in love with Scott, but she endangered herself professionally and emotionally. She had a serious lapse of ethics and muddled her own waters while on the job.
Plus, Scott’s relationship with Morgan hadn’t achieved a clean break. They were still at an impasse. Breaking up and constantly making up is normal. There are plenty of couples who even after they divorce still find themselves having sex, cohabiting and doing other things because they haven’t really untied all the strings.
Leslie was setting herself up for some serious hurt while allowing herself to be the in between chick. She was the third wheel. She was the one who made herself available during a time she should have kept some distance from Scott.
In reality, she could be viewed as the man-stealing backstabber.
What If The Situation Was Reversed?
Just Wright is clever in making Leslie the underdog, and she fits the type of woman who’s relaxed in her own skin. That’s cool.
But let’s switch it up. Imagine her as a guy who makes no effort to bathe, brush his hair / teeth, or groom himself even in your presence when he’s “relaxed”. Would you really find him attractive?
If he was fat, out-of-shape, a bit abrasive, has limited resources, and you were missing your ex-boo who’s smoking hot, though annoying, would you really find him attractive? Would you really consider him for a minute?
If you hired a guy to take care of your household chores, cook, clean or do something necessary and crucial for you, would you consider sleeping with him even though you were still thinking of your smoking hot ex?
We certainly love our double-standards. He should be tall, handsome, fit, rich and a balla. While he should be happy with our hefty, gaudy, rough, unfeminine appearance, because we’re keeping it real, and he’ll love us since we are the biggest fan of his sport. Considering that if he’s a baller, everybody would be a fan. He’d be swollen headed and expect the adoration.
In a sense, that entire angle is a wash.
What Kind of Black Woman?
You know why Morgan is very feminine? Obviously, she’s not working. And whether her character is likable or not, her decision to find a husband is supported by her family. She has time to devote to her looks. She’s making it clear to the men she’s attracting that her looks are a symbol of self-love. She also wants the man to admire the effort she makes in looking good, not just for herself, but for him.
Trying to look attractive for a man is not a crying shame. It is not bad. It is part of the mating dance. I believe a woman can be sexy in a hoody, but it depends on how she wants to wear it. But she has to be comfortable in her own skin.
Leslie is to be applauded for being a “worker”, but that doesn’t entitle her to a wealthy, handsome, tall man as a reward for “good behavior.” It doesn’t work in real life either.
What Men Are Really Like
Most normal, well functioning guys aren’t going to be dating your wallet, house, car, degrees or status. A good number will resent hearing anything about your “stuff” even if he has more than what you have.
For all we know, Morgan has stuff, but she has the good sense to let herself be the prize Scott has to attain.
And that’s the one thing this movie doesn’t really inform us of. Men are predatory animals, and in this story for the romantic angle, a good thing, of course. When Scott, as the wealthy balla, decides to pursue Morgan, he’s not going for her monetary assets or status – he sees someone who interests him, raises his curiosity, likely sexually arouses him and makes him want to PURSUE her.
That’s why we admired Morgan, she understood the game and played it well. Unfortunately, the movie leaves out that entire courtship, which is a shame.
We understand that Leslie was the movie’s Cinderella, but as stated before, she did it at the wrong time and wrong place, which was not realistic at all.
While it was a fun movie, I was uncomfortable with what it was teaching black women. We have enough stories (from real life) where the women do it all for the men and end up heart and wallet broken, because they continue to see Morgan as a negative and Leslie as a positive.
That perspective is too skewed and needs to be balanced. It’s okay to be Morgan on the outside and Leslie on the inside, but not to give it all up and away like it’s nothing. That’s been done too many times before.
It’s one thing to be ready to love a man, but a woman has to have him earn it, otherwise he wont think much of it and treat it as such. And don’t we see to much of that already?
And Leslie can shower Scott with all the cooking, sexing, love and affection after he puts a ring on it.
Victimizing Black Women: NY Times Thinks Cure for Black Women and Black Family Poverty is “Let Em Out of Jail”
Posted on | February 18, 2013 | 44 Comments
According to the “experts” they sought out for this article, black males have been locked up for far too long. If you want to read an institutional and media driven message – that hurts black women – the following NY Times article is a prime example:
It’s so full of wrong, it’s hard to summarize where to begin.
I would like to see all these “educated” social scientists relocate to areas where the ex-cons are. I bet there’d hardly be any takers. Yet, according to them the factors for the condition of black women is too precious. It believes the “real” problem for black women, in not finding enough black men only is because they are mostly in jail.
And that they are there longer than necessary.
Defying Common Sense: He Never Was Home
There are several issues we have to overlook just to give us this “get out of jail early” logic. There is no position that they are innocent parties unfairly accused of crimes who do not belong in prison. There is no position exploring why they refuse to graduate from high school, which would be the first and most immediate step out of poverty. There is no position that they should refrain, with some pretense at morality, from pursuing a life of criminal activity, which is harming others, in the first place.
Oh no, the crux of the article is that long term jail sentences are making things worse for single black women, because the men are taken out of the neighborhood. Thereby depriving her the means of a second income to provide for the family.
The assumption is that if the black male was present, he would be of some assistance.
Seriously? Seriously? Come on! Black males made themselves irrelevant, absenting themselves from the black nuclear family years ago, and it didn’t start with the war on drugs. They were abandoning their wives and children many years before that. Black women were able to stop the slide into poverty by finishing school, relocating to better neighborhoods and raising their children alone with middle class jobs.
They Don’t Care About Black Women
What the article doesn’t want to acknowledge is the total destruction this economy has wrought on the single black mother, who used to be able to manage. Now, these same people who used to hail black single motherhood are pretending to be concerned that she’s out there doing it all by herself.
Yet, not one paragraph is devoted to suggesting maybe black women – in order to improve their lives – should relocate to low crime, mixed neighborhoods with better gender ratios and seek opportunities with men who are not black. Mobility would also cure their own poverty.
Everybody has to go to where the jobs are.
This article was so messy, I thought I was reading Essence magazine. The black media will heartily gobble this up, spreading this manure far and wide. I can imagine how the pressure (as usual) will be applied: black women gotta stay in the hood and “struggle” with the incarcerated “brothas”. Do they still call these negroes “freedom fighters” or “political prisoners”? I haven’t read black media in such a long time, I’ve forgotten.
I like how the article fails to mention that black males are the number one killers of black women. She wouldn’t be alive to “struggle” with him anyhow.
There are good reasons why he’s in jail. And it’s a myth that black women are hurt by his incarceration. It is the justice system working as it should when criminals are locked up. How do black women benefit from sociopaths roaming the neighborhood creating havoc? Anyone read the number of black people who die in places like Chicago and Philly everyday?
Step Away From the Hot Mess
Despite the amount of ink devoted to the issue black women and black men are not tied at the hip, inseparable since birth, belong to each other or cannot live without one another. Black women have and will do fine: there are other men around. The oceans are very deep and wide. There’s plenty of fish there.
Black males with good jobs increasingly are marrying interracially. Those who are living the good life have decided on participating in the main stream without black women. They certainly do not miss us.
Remember, the first step for black women in moving towards a better life is getting out of a bad neighborhood. That’s common sense. But people don’t want to provide black women with this kind of life saving advice. Per their logic, we should sit, smolder and rot in hell along with black males who lack any sense of morality, decency or ability to function like a normal man.
This particular NY Times story may have a “happy ending”, but imagine having a predator back in the neighborhood with nothing to lose? That guy is not going to be the ideal spouse for any woman. And these people have a nerve recommending, suggesting or even thinking that that is good enough for the average black woman.
She deserves better than that.
Posted on | February 10, 2013 | 31 Comments
I’m a blank right now.
Pick any topic you like or post links.
The floor is yours.
The Blizzard That Wasn’t
I was expecting more snow, but I’m thankful my area wasn’t hit with much. A good lot of it has melted away already. Unfortunately, the New England area is another story.
Amazing Analysis of Scandal
I want to give props to Faith (actsoffaithblog.com) for her insightful examination of Scandal. It came about due to Star Jones trying to dictate to Shonda Rhimes about the direction of the show’s characters.
I loved reading her thoughts on this topic. Enjoy.
- Scandal Creator Smacks Down Criticism Of Her Writing Choices & Why Some Black Women Still Don’t Get It
Posted on | February 3, 2013 | 4 Comments
Recently, I’ve been watching a thoroughly enjoyable crime drama. There’s always quite a number of them floating around: cop shows, superhero movies, episodic thrillers and the like. However, when it is really riveting – I’m reminded of the crucial aspect which makes them work.
A story with only an awesome protagonist lacks the essential element of a solid drama. Good art requires having an antagonist who’s a capable match with strengths similar to the hero, but riven with his or her own demons. Otherwise, we’re bored by the exploits of a leading man easily able to defeat his challenger.
I’ve seen my share of shows where the focus concentrates too much on the internal struggles of the hero. I believe that mostly works for a good book.
In a movie, if the only battle a hero has is against emotional despair, anguish, then recovery, essentially in a vacuum – well, to me, that’s not enough. That is why Superman Returns was a flop. Yes, it made decent box office bank, but it was not a good film. Superman’s most debilitating enemy was a rock, and a bit of emotional distress. The problem with film were: a lead actor who didn’t have the chops to pull off the emotional aspect, and a movie which couldn’t decide whether to be a cartoon, semi-serious comedy or both. And that’s not a good mix for a superhero like Superman if it’s not done well.
Here’s my list of villains that come to mind, whenever the show is sufficiently entertaining:
1 – The anarchist – He brings chaos from the jump, because he is chaos. Like Batman‘s Joker, sometimes his background – revealing the depths of a childhood trauma that made him what he – is told. In most cases, all we see is a character without a past, just a full-tilt off-the-walls bad guy. There maybe times, when he’s dying, he finally divulges who he really is. This happens when the writer(s) attempts to plug plot holes or present comforting resolutions.
Overall, this is a character who’s basically in it for the thrill of disaster and destruction. There is no other reason for it. He may provide excuses, but that’s because he likes the sound of his own voice. He doesn’t believe a word he says. And he’s the ultimate nightmare for the hero, because he’s unpredictable and doesn’t live by a rule book.
In real life, he’s the guy who blows down or shoots up places that are open to the public. Sometimes he leaves a bizarre manifesto, sometimes he offs himself after executing his evil deeds without a word. His true goal is infamy. And thanks to our media, he achieves it, with many copy cats ensuing.
2 – The disabled, disfigured, underestimated guy – The best villain I’ve seen in a while was the character, Roger ‘Verbal’ Kint, in The Usual Suspects. This film had the feel of a classic Albert Hitchcock movie or Agatha Christie novel. This bad guy hides in plain sight and you never consider him one, because his disability disarms you. Everyone treats him like a less-than and as a character we regard him as such. Yet, he’s hiding a cunning mind beneath the simpleton’s facade.
Shakespeare had fun with writing about King Richard III, an English monarch, one of the best known historical villains of all time. He wrote about a man who preceded him by 100 years, but that didn’t stop him from speculating about his morals, motives and machinations. There is hardly a movie I haven’t seen about this man. At one place I worked at, I recommended a co-worked watch any Richard III film to get an idea of the mindset of the people around us. She laughed at how accurate it was. Hey, people do not change.
Recently, the remains of King Richard III have been located, by the Richard III Society – who are also trying to reform his image. Yes, that’s the problem with bad guys, they’ve just misunderstood. They had to commit their deeds for the greater good. It’s all justifiable. Hmmm.
- NY Times - Bones Under Parking Lot Belonged to Richard III
- CNN - Where does skeleton revelation leave legend of Richard III?
- And a great article by Stephen L Carter about villains, What Abraham Lincoln Liked About Richard III
3 - The well-meaning scientist or professor who takes his theories a little too far. He meant well, but starts to develop a messianic zeal to wipe the planet free of human beings in order to save it. Unfortunately, in this day and age, it's hard to separate the nut job environmentalists making these kind of pronouncements - the human population should be whittled down to 500 million, by any means - with the bad-guys scientists in Hollywood films. Spiderman (2012) had one of these characters.
One cannot blame doomsday preppers for their anxiety when supposedly sane, rational and well known scientists are making ending-the-human-species-is-good-for-the-earth kind of statements. We are animals, no different from the insects and mammals that are here. We are no worse or better than them in affecting the environment or the earth. People who talk about wiping off most human beings from the planet should just jump off the highest bridge they can find.
4 - The alpha male - He's the perfect top flight above reproach male - as seen in the classic The Manchurian Candidate (1962). On the outside, he's guileless: the man everyone respects, loves and adores. In reality, he's been turned inside out. He's often portrayed as a predictable and unassuming character, because he's the first guy we often see in a film, but he's a little too smooth and slick to believe.
Overall, we enjoy seeing that he is as corrupt as we initially suspected. The above reproach guy is the one we never liked that much in the first place.
5 - The beta male - He's the disrespected sidekick to the alpha male. He feels he's been hiding his true self while laboring in the shadow of the top dog male. He covets everything the alpha has: women, power, respect or fear and an almost extreme level of worship for his incredible prowess. In some stories, he wants the same woman, or women, of the alpha male. In the animal kingdom this happens all the time: the alpha male always has to keep the beta males in check or they will take his "throne."
Good writing can make these story lines the best of all.
6 - The femme fatale - She does it because she's bored, like Catwoman. She's aroused by the pandemonium she causes, which serves to distract others from her real goals. She enjoys the havoc, but there's no epic story here. She's initially introduced as this retiring, shy, church mouse kind of person, when an earth-shattering event transforms her into a "dangerous", sex-hungry, man-eating type of woman.
As is often the case, since men write this character, they show that they haven't a clue as to how the female mind works. Rarely, are they accurate. But when done well, by the right actress, she can be fun and amusing to watch. Would be interesting if someone came up with a completely believable malevolent female villain. Although it was a comedy, The Devil Wears Pravda came close to how some women operate.
7 - The bent bastard - I was watching a British program, Line of Duty, and I grew to like this epithet. I heard it over and over again. At first, I wasn't certain by what they meant. Then I realized it was a rather clean and clear expression of contempt. They meant someone corrupt, easily bought, with no morals or scruples. This is not a complicated villain with a higher calling or any of the other aspects we find in a typical one. He is the embodiment of the "good man" who stays silent, and does nothing, in the face of evil.
His sole objective is to get more by taking short cuts: shave the edges to make things go smoother, skim a little off the top. He has no ethics, so he's easy to bribe and buy off. This character is a small time thief who usually ends up in trouble reaching far over his head.
What makes him a mark in the first place is that he's a cop or a "good guy" who bends the line one time too many. His firm "rule of law" is a wet noodle. Eventually, his luck starts to run out, because he lets greed take over, unless the writer(s) decide to redeem him.
This was the case with The Shield, but I didn't watch enough of it to see how far the writers went with the main character crossing the line into corruption. I suspected he went far enough at times.
8 - The antagonist - He's the spiritual twin of the hero, in that he has an inflexible, unyielding moral code. He feel he's too good for the world and must fix its flaws. He's a highly intelligent and logical man, but he's the worst kind of extremist. He rigidly abides by his own rule book, which leads to devastating consequences for everyone. He's not someone satisfied with half-measures.
And he is truly the worst of the lot, yet an exquisite match for the hero. Think of Professor Moriarty for Sherlock Holmes.
The hero is the one who has learned to accept the world as it is. The antagonist is the one who cannot. Hence, the eternal conflict between good and evil.
The original source of heroes and anti-heroes have their roots in ancient literature or religious documents. Our modern day superheroes are re-imagined demigods.
People have always hungered for a savior....
Does anyone care to speculate which character-type Christopher Dorner would fall under?
Posted on | January 28, 2013 | 2 Comments
Sigh…. I’ve been killing this song lately.
He’s got a really nice …. voice.
Posted on | January 22, 2013 | 33 Comments
I really liked the following comment by bretagne, so I decided to make it a separate post. This was in response to, “Are Black Children Too Stupid To Learn?”
So, let it rip bretagne:
We can never have these discussions without re-inscribing tropes about Asian achievement.
As someone who has been teaching in the Korean school system for the past two years, at best, I’m ambivalent about the way in which we valorize (inflate?) Asian academic prowess.
The fact that some Asian students perform well on math and science standardized tests is not insignificant and should not be dismissed. But really, it only tells a part of the story.
The Korean education system (I have the greatest familiarity with Korea) is, in large part,a vestige of the Japanese colonial presence in Korea. There is a a heavy (disproportionate, in my opinion) emphasis on testing, and student grades are based almost entirely on mid-term and final multiple choice exams. So naturally, the entire educational system–from the instructional style of teachers, to the lucrative Korean test-prep cottage industry–is designed around this testing apparatus.
In my opinion, this has made for a very rote, flat, one-dimensional, excruciatingly boring, needlessly joyless and harsh, authoritarian educational experience. And while I agree with the commenter who said that learning is often difficult and time consuming, this is an entirely different animal. I have Korean friends (friends who performed well in the system, did well in university, and are now professionals)who describe their primary educational experiences as TRAUMATIC.
Anyways, the kids here become very good at gaming tests. You would, as well, if you spent 8 hours a day at school studying, and then another 3 or 4 hours after school at the hagwon memorizing and cramming test material. So naturally, when test day rolls around, the kids are well-prepared to regurgitate with aplomb.
But I question how much learning is really taking place in all of this. When I give my high school students an assignment or task that requires them to deploy creativity or think an original thought, they are stumped, paralyzed even. They prefer work that is rote and adheres to a rigid right/wrong binary. And I question if this paradigm is what will best prepare children to innovate and provide leadership for the world of the future.
I’ve also taught in an alternative high school that serviced students who would be labeled “at-risk” stateside. Many of the students were poor, came from dysfunctional homes, and a sizable portion were contending with untreated emotional and learning disabilities. Let me tell you: some of those Korean students could give the students at any urban black high school a run for their money. For me, this simply underscored the fact that underachievement is not cultural or racial, but highly correlated with socioeconomic factors.
This has been a really long winded way of saying that while there’s certainly a crisis with regard to the academic achievement of a sizable demographic of black children, we need to be discerning in terms of what we deem as solutions. And I would proffer that the solution will probably not be found in a wholesale emulation of “Asian” education systems.
There are certainly useful takeaways–namely, the notion of practice and effort making perfect. Asian people (E.Asians–Koreans, Japanese, Chinese) aren’t as invested as we are in the notion that one is a “math person” or a “science person” or whatever. In other words, they do not believe in some sort of inherent ability or inclination towards one subject matter or another. They believe that skills are cultivated, incrementally, over time, with immense practice, and under diligent guidance. In contrast, when American students, even at the elementary level, appear to struggle with a math concept, parents often throw up their hands and say, “Oh, well. Johnny just isn’t a math person.” It has been my experience that E. Asians tend to think that this is ludicrous. You work at things, assiduously, until you improve. Of course you aren’t born a “math person”.
But on the other hand, the Korean system is flat, lacks a certain dynamism, demands absolute obsequiousness from students, and really doesn’t stimulate the majority of students to think in a way that is innovative, critical, risky, or creative. And did I mention that most students find it pretty joyless? I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Silicon Valley is located where it is. The hard science skills have to merge with a measure of creativity. This is what, I believe, should be the target for black children.
I will just say that if I were to raise children here in Korea, I would certainly not put them in the public system. More than likely, I’d enroll them in the nearest international school.
Tropes? Oh, okay.
Then, henceforth, let the exaggerations commence: Asian countries were at par, and sometimes even worse off, than African countries during the 1950s. (I know a good number did not receive independence until years later.) Look at most of ‘em now. Except for perhaps a few, even the most die-hard Communistic and backward regimes, have realized that too much stealing from productive citizens, and keeping most ignorant, ends up starving the general population….
That progress didn’t happen overnight. Asian leaders thought about what works and put efforts into making it happen. And that took what, maybe a generation or two to get there? That is incredible. It cannot be discounted, dismissed or denied. Of course, it takes enormous energy (effort) to study, build, create and endure than to sit around and do nothing.
We are the ones that are forgetting what works: a rigorous and challenging education. And, of course, learning isn’t easy for everyone. Some people are traumatized leaving their homes, commuting, working, and just talking to other folks, but they have to do it anyway. Maybe some folks can go and live comfortably in their mother’s basement for the rest of their lives. Overall, life remains hard, brutal sometimes, and we’re all bound, at some time or the other, to even get our feelings hurt.
The Black Nation: Is This What Hell Looks Like?
However, let’s get real: If all of Black America were to leave, and form a separate nation, does anyone see it turning into a first world industrialized country? A second tier one? Maybe even third? What businesses could we turn to for jobs? Are there enough skilled people around who are self-sufficient? Who are entrepreneurial? Do we have enough: farmers, engineers, doctors, carpenters, or plumbers? Seriously, it’s not like we can live on barbers, hairstylists and fast food restaurants alone.
Don’t we take the nice and cozy stuff for granted – the infrastructure, electricity, education, police / fire / military protection (which is overwhelmingly provided by white men), in essence a stable society – because all the other groups are doing the work? ‘Cause all we seem to produce are people filling up jails, “entertaining” in the most demeaning ways, increasingly taking up social security disability payments – for “slow children” – along with a miniscule elite replete with great corporate and government perks. I suspect the country would be a basket case before even the week is out.
What Keeping It Real Really Looks Like
Asian empowerment, and I use that term deliberately, is real. And I don’t see a few laudatory comments as inflating their achievement(s). This is an extremely competitive world. A good number of Asians seem to understand the nature of this global “game.” Unfortunately, black people seem to function under the impression that we can infinitely live off of the goodwill of others forever – like well tolerated beggars and perennial wards. (And I ain’t talking about nothing new here, W. E. B. Du Bois and Booker T. Washington dealt with this subject, black progression or regression, if you will, over 100 years ago.)
I don’t believe I’ve ever stated that Asians were perfect and invincible, but goodness, they rank at the top and we (black folks) rank at the bottom in American schools – and likely globally. So, who’s fooling who? And we import their woefully TRAUMATIZED brains to keep most of Silicon Valley, and various industries, afloat these days.
I would LOVE to see the Asian attitude towards education to be emulated and adopted by black people. However, the decision to make schooling more rigorous is up to the parents. And if they are content and satisfied with themselves, and their children, being seen by society (or the world for that matter) as “stupid” – so be it. Everyone else will gladly pass them by.
No One is Better Than Me
And before anyone gets me wrong: I don’t see any group as superior or inferior. I tend to look at things in terms of applied effort. I honestly feel a substantial portion of the population has given up (on life). It saddens me, and I sometimes lament the problem, but overall I don’t see how anyone can change a culture committed to a downward slide into …. what? I dunno.
We’ve had these conversations on these blog(s) before. Black people have a deep and enduring suicidal wish, like death-cult members, wanting too many sane folks to join them. This horror is masked by “black entertainment” mesmerizing people over trivial issues driven by low-rent morons and self-prostituting idiots; the notion of a utopian “black community” which can only exist on the back, sweat and tears of black women; or phrases like “that’s how we do” to make young women conform when she’s simply trying to define her own terms of freedom.
Don’t buy it. Stay alive and thrive.
Okay, I’m done.
Posted on | January 19, 2013 | 8 Comments
My first post of 2013, and it is on the perfect subject.
As Nysee mentioned a few posts back: this is the time to get back on track, or continue with our goals. Travel is a big part of that! I feel deprived not being able to leave for domestic and international destinations because of all the idiocy at the airports.
Although I still want the TSA a.k.a. “Those Stupid A$$h@!#s” and HS a.k.a. “Homeland (In)security” to be disbanded and eliminated sometime in the immediate future, this bit of *Rape-i-scan news will have to do. For now. The fight to bring society back to an unbowed and non-sheep-like existence, along with the eradication of this police state atmosphere, or totalitarian regime, is a lifetime affair.
And, no, I don’t believe I’m exaggerating. There’s a real limit as to how many stupefying hassles, inconveniences and degradations I’m required to endure just to get on a damn airplane. None of that security theater nonsense ever had, or ever will, make me feel “safe” and “secure”. We got the message years ago: if someone acts up on a plane, everybody will beat him into submission and duct tape his ass to a seat.
Finally, The Good News
According to the BBC:
“The US aviation security agency will stop screening travellers with scanners that show travellers’ naked images, amid widespread privacy complaints.”
“Separately to the privacy concerns, some health officials feared the *Rape-i-scan 1000SP scanner, which uses low-level X-rays to generate the image viewed by screeners, might expose passengers to unsafe levels of radiation.”
“The *Rape-i-scan machines will be replaced by scanners that use radio waves to detect suspicious objects hidden underneath clothes. Those display warnings on an avatar rather than show a naked image of the passenger.”
Our Congress made them stop.
Let us not forget that those people in government, every single one of them, work for us: we are not their subjects, servants, slaves or sheep.
And they could give two s#!&s about health risks. These people were worried about liability: the increasing possibility of someone, or a group of people in a class action, winning a massively huge! huge! lawsuit. Regardless of the BS you hear when you buy an airline ticket, that does not entitle this government to try and (slowly) kill you in order to get from point A to point B in the name of “We No Longer Call It The War on Terror”.
You get enough exposure to radiation from flying alone.
On the other hand, this might lead to an increase in the number of TSA stealing from, fondling and sexually abusing vulnerable passengers, since so many criminal-minded authoritarian control freaks and sexual perverts are attracted to the job (especially those at the top of these agencies).
Money always talks.
While I believe complaints from consumers reached the ears of our dimwitted representatives, and lent some weight to the removal of the *Rape-i-scan, I don’t think that’s the whole story. We need to remember that some of the most powerful lobbyists down in Washington, D.C. belong to the airlines.
So, I bet they ran the numbers and realized that a lot of people, like myself, were not FLYING because of those machines and government employee nut jobs. If you multiply that by a few hundred thousand Americans, especially business people who usually pay the full “weight” or fare, and other international flyers, the TSA was – and is – strangling the travel industry.
I also wouldn’t be surprised if they are also single-handedly responsible for the sluggish condition of the global economy. It’s a domino affect. If we aren’t travelling domestically or overseas spending our money – that’s a big loss. That well oiled machine is seizing up.
The government would like to think that the removal of the *Rape-i-scan is a lasting sole solution, or a sufficient move to appease folks, but to me – it’s just the beginning….
Note: *Yes, I deliberately misspelled the name of that despicable product. I apologize for the profanity, but this topic leaves me heated.
Update: This may be the only recourse. Everyday a passenger should sue the TSA.
Posted on | December 30, 2012 | 24 Comments
Last post of the year. So, Happy New Year. Have a prosperous 2013, and many more.
Let’s get down to business. I’ve compiled all the shows that I noticed have black women (two black parents or not) as main characters or otherwise.
Always feel free to add shows / movies I may have missed … I’ll update this post over time.
Scandal – Kerry Washington, Columbus Short
Update: Faith (actsoffaithblog.com) has written a very compelling and incredibly insightful post about the show. This is in regards to Star Jones trying to dictate via twitter to Shonda Rhimes (executive producer / writer / et al) who she wants Olivia Pope to be partnered with.
Did I happen to mention that the analysis is awesome? Please, check it out:
- Scandal Creator Smacks Down Criticism Of Her Writing Choices & Why Some Black Women Still Don’t Get It
Apparently, for the first time in eons a black woman (with two black parents) had a show of her own on network television. I love soaps. I love the drama. The crazier the better. This show moves much faster than I expected. And what beats the most powerful man in the world being “wide open” for a black woman? Very stimulating.
I was initially worried that Shonda Rhimes was going to bury her main character, Olivia Pope, behind all those “special” white women on the show. She did not, and does not, do that. What I love most about this character is that she is: petite, elegant, beautiful, smart and vulnerable. Yeah, she’s not superwoman. She cries, but when she’s ready – her mind gets to work and she runs a superb game. I love any show that brings on a woman as a “fixer”, but not someone physically pushing her weight around, cursing and screaming at anyone, or doing anything stereotypical. Not an eye roll, neck twist, lip smack, or hand-on-the-hip in sight.
It’s a fine line, presenting a black woman with this amount of complexity, but this show rides it nicely. And I like that with this character, there’s much more to learn about her. Every couple of episodes peels back another layer to that mysterious onion. Wonderful.
So, I want to thank you, Shonda Rhimes for making this show, and letting the world revolve around Ms Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington).
I like Columbus Short‘s character, Harrison Wright, as well. I’ve seen him in a few movies. I like the way he speaks, his careful delivery of lines. He really looks like one of the few actors who enjoys himself and gets immersed in his role. I think what I’m trying to say is, I can’t recall if he’s ever played a thug. He seems able to avoid falling into stereotypical “black guy” roles most other black actors get by default.
Maybe, unlike the others, he’s found a way to move beyond those roles….
NCIS: Los Angeles – Aunjanue Ellis, LL Cool J
Low and behold on NCIS: Los Angeles they found out that LL Cool J‘s character Sam Hanna is married and a father! Not only that! She’s a real two black parent black woman! I am shocked. Shocked! I tell you. Usually, when a brown skinned actor like LL is cast with a woman, she’s skim milk black with a teaspoon of chocolate.
She’s darker than him!!! Sorry, but the credo with color casting in the media is always a black guy who’s charcoal and a woman who looks half white. It’s racism against dark-skinned black women and lighter complexioned black men. So, it was nice to see something different for a change.
And the plot of the show? I don’t know. I had stopped watching NCIS: Los Angeles, because I was getting tired of all the other characters having a life whilst LL Cool J did not. I will have to catch up to the season. All I know is that Sam Hanna’s wife, played by Aunjanue Ellis, is an undercover agent going by the name of Quinn. From what I see, I like how she rolls.
Part of me is afraid to see the next episode, because of what Hollywood usually does with black families….
Overall, I really like the NCIS shows. My longtime favorite is the original. Mark Harmon has aged well. Still a handsome man. The formulas for these programs work.
Update: Almost forgot there was an NCIS episode (Season 10, Episodes 10) that featured Rose Rollins as a Navy Lt Commander married to a former military officer who happened to be white.
The Walking Dead - Danai Gurira
As I said to my girlfriend, “They killed off Shane (Jon Bernthal), why I need to watch it now?” The show follows the novel / comic book sorta closely. I heard they deviated from killing Shane off earlier, because he had a fan base. Why not keep him around indefinitely? Oh, well.
Apparently, a show with so many characters needed to make room for one of its centerpieces: Michonne (Danai Gurira). She’s a samurai-sword wielding warrior kind of woman. Keeping everybody safe from zombies. All right now!
I’m all into zombie, science fiction, action and mystery stories / movies, so I’m thrilled about this.
And I saw that trailer for World War Z with Brad Pitt. I cannot wait!!!
Eureka - Salli Richardson-Whitfield and Tembi Locke
This was the last season for the show. I love how it ended. I never saw the first episode, but it gives it a nice loop, which make the show self-containing. If that makes any sense.
I usually dislike (hate, hate, hate!!!!) it when the main characters of a show are required to fall in love. I know that’s what the fans usually demand. And 9 times out of 10, that will kill off a good show. It’s like, once the writers throw them into bed, they’re depleted of new material, and go, “Now what?”
I have to say that the chemistry between Salli Richardson-Whitfield (Allison) and Colin Ferguson (Jack) worked. It felt genuine. I wanted them to be together. And when they did, it didn’t get lame like we see with most other TV show couples. They seemed like a perfect fit. I think because they were really really good friends that respected and loved one another. Being “in love” was another aspect to their relationship. And goodness, I wanted to be in a couple like theirs!
Even though their erotic tension was muted, it wasn’t primary, like we see with most other shows, where everything goes flat the minute they get together. The failure with other couples (Moonlighting) was because the sincerity wasn’t there from the beginning. Other couples worked (Cheers?), because the tension never goes away, sometimes it intensifies.
And breakups are fine even after they get together, that shows the writers know how to work their material.
Update: Crazy of me to forget Tembi Locke. She played Grace Monroe, the wife of Joe Morton‘s character Henry Deacon in the alternate universe. She was a major character on the show as well.
Person of Interest - Taraji P. Henson
This is the first program I can recall where a black woman had the top billing on a network program, I mean as a major character, not just part of an interchangeable ensemble. And this show preceded Scandal - timewise - by a country mile. I enjoyed POI immensely. I love shows with intricate plots. But I lost track when CBS pulled the online plug. So I have to wait for it via DVD or some other method to catch up with it.
I liked the chemistry between Taraji P. Henson and Jim Caviezel. I don’t need for them to get romantically involved or hot and heavy (hmmm, maybe though). I liked their dialogue. When I started watching, the show gave me the feeling of a modern day revamping of Batman as a former special forces soldier (Jim Caviezel) with Catwoman (Taraji P. Henson) as a cop. Don’t know if anyone else feels that way, but that’s just my take.
Deception – Meagan Good
Brand new show. And if I’m not mistaken, will be the second major network show with a black woman as a lead character. Wow. If it’s fun like Revenge with the quality of Scandal, it should last. Haven’t seen it yet, so I cannot judge.
What’s also interesting is how Hollywood can now locate beautiful two black parent black women to star in TV shows. Were they hiding somewhere before?
Anyway, hope the show does well. I’ll try to catch up and see it.
Warehouse 13 - CCH Pounder as Mrs Irene Frederic, Genelle Williams as Leena
The character of Mrs Irene Frederic is still going strong. Although she doesn’t appear in as many episodes. The character Leena, played by Genelle Williams, “died” in episode 10, Season 4. Not sure what happens after that. I heard a new character – a black woman – will be joining the show. We’ll see.
Suits - Gina Torres as Jessica Pearson
I love this show. The dialogue is witty and silly. It doesn’t lean too heavy on the lawyerly (is that a word) stuff, but deals more with problem solving before they reach the courtroom. The show manages to make chasing clients down and dealing with sheets of paper for court filing seem exciting. That takes talent.
And I don’t care how bad a show is, if Gina Torres is on it I’m watching. Yeah, I’m a fan. Did you know she’s Laurence Fishburne‘s wife? I had no idea. I only ask that she cut back on cooking for him: he’s gonna explode any day now.
Yes, Mark-Paul Gosselaar (Mr. Saved By The Bell) has a show with two – count ‘em, two – beautiful black women (with two black parents). And the show is already into it’s third season.
I think that’s a TV network record.
Parenthood – Joy Bryant
I’ve never watched the show. Unfortunately, I never had the time, and I didn’t realize it was still on and running. Maybe I’ll catch it one of these days. I don’t think I ever saw an ad for the show. Interesting.
It’s been on for a good number of seasons. Good for them.
Parks and Recreation - Retta
Community - Yvette Nicole Brown
I get these two shows – P&R and Community – mixed up. Although I shouldn’t. I honestly thought they were the same program. And like Parenthood, I haven’t seen any advertising for P&R.
Last, Last, Last! Update:
Grey’s Anatomy – Chandra Wilson
After Isaiah Washington left, tried to hang in there. Couldn’t. But glad to know Ms Thing is handling her business on the show. I read somewhere that they found her character a man. Hmmm.
Glee – Amber Riley
Years ago, I watched the first episode. Never went back. Although, good for her that she’s still there. She can sing. I don’t know about the others.
Any major network show that can have two beautiful black women as major characters gets props from me. It’s been a while since I’ve watched. Gotta get back on track.
Justified - Erica Tazel
They took this show off online, and I cannot find it anywhere else! Not even on Amazon (instant video). I don’t know if I can bother with Netflix or iTunes.
I just need my fix of watching Timothy Olyphant swagger once in a while. Guess I’ll have to hunt down the DVDs.
Why do these entertainment companies do this? Don’t they want viewers? Not everybody has cable TV.
White Collar - Diana Barrigan and Diahann Carroll
Ms Carroll is not a main character, but I get very happy whenever I see her. I want to look as elegant, and be on point, when I grow up.
Burn Notice - Sonja Sohn
Sonja Sohn is in the following six episodes: Over the Line, Down & Out, Best Laid Plans, Odd Man Out, You Can Run and Game Change. Really enjoyed her performance. She needs her own show. Having her as a one-of-a-kind black woman Federal Marshal or Military Official hunting down someone would be FANTASTIC.
Like I wrote before (re: Scandal), love to see it when they have a woman doing this kind of thing. As long as it has tension and good drama, it will work.
Although I see Burn Notice as having run it’s course 2-3 seasons ago, I still check it out. Don’t know how they do it, but every episode gives me anxiety attacks. They just know how to rack up the insanity.
Love Sci-Fi / Fantasy / Cop Drama Genres
But the following three shows have gone beyond jumping the shark:
- Vampire Diaries - Kat Graham
- Fringe - Jasika Nicole
- Bones - Tamara Taylor
True Blood - Rutina Wesley
Been trying to get started. One day I’ll grab the DVD collection and see what’s up.
Emily Owens MD - Aja Naomi King
Smart, as well as beautiful; apparently, a Yale graduate too. Haven’t watched the show. I guess it’s a funny Grey’s Anatomy?
Revenge - Ashley Madekwe
I had no idea she was there from the beginning, but yeah, episode 1, she’s there when it all begins. I like her character. Although my true favorite is Nolan Ross played by Gabriel Mann. He’s the guy with the best lines.
Nice campy drama. Doesn’t take itself too seriously.
Carrie Diaries - Freema Agyeman
She’s from Dr Who.
Touch - Gugu Mbatha-Raw
I wanted to watch this show, but I think the Fox network has been moving it around. I hope it stays around so I can check it out. GMR is from a short-lived black (married!) spy couple show on NBC a few years back.
The Neighbors - Toks Olagundoye
Spartacus: Vengeance - Cynthia Addai-Robinson
And thanks to all of you who reminded me to add these shows in the comments section. I appreciate it very much!
Special Mentions: No Black Women Starring, But Enough “Color” to Be Interesting
The CW TV Network - Kristin Kreuk and Nina Lisandrello
I’ll give the CW props and much credit for having shows with black women. I watch the new Beauty and the Beast, and although the two mentioned above are not black women – I like Kristin Kreuk, and Jay Ryan is extremely easy on the eyes - it may be the first show I’ve seen with two minority women as cops in the lead.
Interesting show. And fun to watch.
The CW TV Network - Nikita – Maggie Q
I watched this show when it first came on. I have to give them credit, there was a black girl (Tiffany Hines) in the first season and partially in the second. There were a few more on the program, but since I lost track of it around season three, I couldn’t tell you who is in the current lineup.
As Faith says in the comments, this is the first time an Asian (or half-Asian) woman had her own show on a network. Not bad.
Elementary – Lucy Lui
I love this show. I also like the growing relationship between Jonny Lee Miller (as Sherlock Holmes) and Lui (as Watson). I’m a fan of Lucy Lui. I’ve always liked her “coolness” in the roles she plays. The show doesn’t rush the plot(s), although some episodes are a bit predictable, but I like that they refrain from constantly chasing after and shooting at people. I find that to be a waste-of-time filler on a number of cop dramas.
I mentioned in the comments, that by episode 5 – called Lesser Evils, Anika Noni Rose plays Lui’s best friend. I very much liked that, because I cannot recall the last time I ever saw a black and Asian woman portray friends, of any sort, on a major network TV show. Usually that role is filled by a bubbly blond with big teeth, head and a perfect disposition.
It was really nice to see a difference for a change. Sometimes I get the impression from TV programs that black and Asian women can only have white women as best friends. And that’s not a normal or healthy reality for the media to promote. As far as I’m concerned, anyone and everyone can play someone’s best friend.
Here’s the top 20 grosses of 2012 (grabbed from boxofficemojo.com):
- Marvel’s The Avengers
- The Dark Knight Rises
- The Hunger Games
- The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2
- The Amazing Spider-Man
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
- Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
- Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax
- MIB 3
- Wreck-It Ralph
- Ice Age: Continental Drift
- Snow White and the Huntsman
- Hotel Transylvania
- Taken 2
- 21 Jump Street
And special mention to the following:
- Battleship (2012) - Rihanna as Petty Officer Cora ‘Weps’ Raikes
- Immortals (2011) - Ayisha Issa as High Priestess #4
- Joyful Noise (2012) – Queen Latifah. I wrote a post about this film.
Yeah, there are the Madea / Tyler Perry and other type of flicks that came out, but I have no intention of listing them.
Skyfall - Naomie Harris – Eve
Based on box office projections, this may be the most successful James Bond flick so far. Interesting.
And yes, it’s awesome to see another black woman in a big box office hit. See Hollywood? Including black women doesn’t hurt your bottom line at all. So, stop lying about how our lovely, dark-skinned faces cost you people money with the overseas market (and even domestic). I mean, if I can even see black women in Korean dramas speak a few lines, what’s the excuse for Hollywood besides racist sexism?
I confess that I haven’t seen Skyfall, yet. I will when it hits Amazon, Netflix or on a DVD at some point. I’ve cut back on going to the theaters.
You know the main reason I don’t see movies? Unless it’s an action film where I don’t care for the dialogue, I find that 90% of the time, I have no idea what characters are saying. When I watch something via Amazon or on DVD, I put the close caption on. And it turns out people are saying things completely different from what I expected.
I think that’s why I prefer classic old films, I understood what everyone said. Today, most of what comes out of an actor’s mouth is unintelligible. Not paying $10 plus to hear somebody mumble.
The Hunger Games - Amandla Stenberg as Rue
I don’t have much to say about this film. I didn’t see it. I have no plans to see it. I think there was an online ruckus, because white liberals admitted that they are indifferent towards the death of “innocent” black girls, don’t believe they exist or something to that affect. Please DO NOT explain the deal to me in the comments: I don’t care. I guess people were surprised by the blatant racist sexism hatred or something.
Hey, I grew up in NYC, capital of white liberals. Folks finding out that they don’t regard black girls and women as human beings is no shocker to me…. But, oh well … gotta find out the truth at some point, I guess.
21 Jump Street - Holly Robinson Peete as Officer Judy Hoffs
I had loved this show. This is where I became an early fan of Johnny Depp. I always hoped there would be something to that something between his character and Holly’s.
Didn’t see the movie, so I don’t know how much screen time she got. But it’s nice to know they remembered she was on the show. It was rare to see a black woman in a role like this one.
I’d give you more, but I’m exhausted. I’m happy there was a lot to include.
And if people remember other programs I may have missed, please list them, minus the Tyler Perry stuff.
So, Was Hollywood Good to Black Actresses in 2012?
I’ll give them a B. Was I too generous? Well, I’ve definitely seen an uptick in two black parent black women, even in commercials, so I’ll give them credit for remembering we exist. There are some movies or TV shows I wont watch if it seems like a waste of time, whether it has a black actress or not.
I always want to support the good, quality works that have black women in it. Like it or not, the media is an incredibly powerful image tool. If we look good / great, people do treat us accordingly, it’s conscious and subconscious.
So, I don’t mind if we’re invisible sometimes, I’m not looking for blind inclusion each and every time. It’s when we are included and look a hot dysfunctional mess that gets me upset.
Happy New Year. Let’s see what 2013 brings.
Prayers go out to all those who have lost loved ones. May we all find more love, forgiveness and peace in the coming year.
Posted on | December 6, 2012 | 35 Comments
It’s a weird comment to hear, especially coming from one of the office whales. You know, like if you think I am skinny, what does that make you?
And she sounded exasperated, like how dare I appear so small – at least in her eyes, because I don’t see it. I was told by someone else – who I really regard as “in shape” that my waist appears “tiny”. While I admire the bodies of Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield or Jane Russell, I don’t imagine I look anywhere near those figures.
Somehow this was the year I got my eating under control, but I walk no more than 25 to 50 minutes daily. If time and the weather allows. I really miss weight lifting.
And by the way, my waist is 28 inches, I have to measure my top and bottom again. I haven’t done that in a while. I am aiming for 36 – 26 – 36, if that’s possible. Back in the good ol’ says, those were my measurements.
I eat apples for breakfast, apparently they are natural appetite suppressors. I also eat very few sugary foods, bread, rice and I stick to meat, veggies and fruit that don’t give me gas (LOL) or make me hungry. I confess I like salty and spicy foods. I drink a couple glasses of water when I think I’ve overdone it.
See? No big deal. And I love big belts.
What’s on your mind?
Update: another belt I love.
Posted on | November 18, 2012 | 2 Comments
Like to find something amusing to get through the slog of the coming week. Since it’s three days, that’s a good start.
Don’t know how I found the first YouTube clip, but they all cracked me up.
Anyone remember MTV’s Celebrity Deathmatch? Used to love watching that. This stuff is much milder.
I always consider the use of the word “ass” or something just as profane to be a weakness in rapping, an easy go to word, because they cannot think of anything else. Otherwise, not bad.
Don’t eat too much for the Holiday(s), it’s nearly impossible to get that weight off once it climbs on.
Happy Thanksgiving….keep looking »