Betty Chambers Has Spoken: Hair Confession: Nappy Head Check vs Relaxed

ESSENCE Ad Network

Hair Confession: Nappy Head Check vs Relaxed
Thursday, August 16, 2007

I do not believe that black women who do not relax / perm their hair are more politically or socially aware, or even nicer / friendlier than those who do. Nope.

People are complex, complicated beings. A hair style doesn't tell me anything about them.

I think a number of people do make interesting assumptions. Think of the evening news after a mass murder has been committed.

What do the people usually say? "But he was such a nice, normal guy." My favorite is, "That doesn't happen in this kind of neighborhood." I always want to slap the person who utters that kind of nonsense. They are so caught up in their idea of specialness. Anything can happen in any neighborhood. Sheesh.

I do, however, make assumptions with regards to relaxed versus natural hair styles. My thoughts relate to health and normalcy.

I read my share of magazines, and the first thing I do is seek out pictures of black women. I'm always curious as to how the media is portraying us lately.

I'm moderately pleased to see that natural hair is quite popular. The hair styles range from nappy kinky coily curls in Afros to twist outs big or small. All of which I regard as normal.

Yeah, I said it, normal. My internal programming says that a black woman with a natural hair style is normal. Whenever I see relaxed hair, I regard it as abnormal. I'll explain why.

A relaxed hair style makes me think: Wow, I hope she's okay.

I know that may be out of the norm thinking. In fact, a hair study shows that relaxers don't make black women sick. In an age where coffee is good for you one day and bad the next, I'll take that report with a truckload of salt.

This report comes about because researchers have found that a particularly aggressive breast cancer targets black women more than white women.

I'm not making any assertions that relaxers cause breast cancer in black women.

I automatically think there is a connection: I can't help myself.

To recap my hair fixation, if I see a natural hair style I think: she looks normal. If I see a relaxed hair style, in the back of my mind, I'm hoping that the woman lives a long and productive life.

Labels: breast cancer, hair, health, kinky, nappy, natural hair, relaxed hair

posted by GoldenAh

Comments on Hair Confession: Nappy Head Check vs Relaxed

Miriam said ... (Tuesday, August 28, 2007) :

Hey there! How about seeing a "normal " hair style and thinking she's normal AND will have a productive life heheh!

btw, I enjoyed your posts at Halima's blog. Take care!

thelady said ... (Sunday, November 02, 2008) :

When I got cut my relaxed end off I got a lot of comments based on fear such as "I want short hair but it wouldn't work on my head/face shape", "I can't wear my hair natural cause I'm tender headed", "My hair is too thick to wear natural", "Wearing hair natural is too much work". These comments come from women who have never felt their natural hair texture in their entire adult life.

My friend relocated to a very hot/humid climate and complains constantly about her relaxed hair frizzing up, dropping curls and only looking good for an hour. She doesn't want to give up relaxing (even though her hair grows super fast) so I just suggest she do wet sets like rollers, twists, or braids. She still persists in flat ironing her hair. I can't see how this is less work than natural hair, especially in a humid climate.

The last time I saw her she "jokingly" referred to my hair as "nappy" and "all kitchen".

I don't want to be judgmental about hair styling but people treat me like I'm some sort of unicorn. Is it that strange for a black woman to not want to relax/straighten her hair?
sorry for the essay

GoldenAh said ... (Saturday, November 08, 2008) :

thelady, thank you for your comments. Write as much as you like. You are not alone in liking your hair as it is.

I was an odd-ball in high school (oh so many years ago!), nearly every girl had a relaxer. I broke down Junior year, yet by Senior year I was back with the Afro.

Today, I think it is much easier to take care of our hair (in it's natural state). I use a lot of castor oil (esp. when it's cold) and in the summer a lot of Aloe Vera (or Fantasia IC).

I'm not a purest, so I do blow dry to stretch it. But it doesn't last long. I sweat a lot at night.

P.S. Your friend might want to try bantu knots also.