Lately, people have been calling me skinny

It’s a weird comment to hear, especially coming from one of the office whales. You know, like if you think I am skinny, what does that make you?

And she sounded exasperated, like how dare I appear so small – at least in her eyes, because I don’t see it. I was told by someone else – who I really regard as “in shape” that my waist appears “tiny”. While I admire the bodies of Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield or Jane Russell, I don’t imagine I look anywhere near those figures.

Somehow this was the year I got my eating under control, but I walk no more than 25 to 50 minutes daily. If time and the weather allows. I really miss weight lifting.

And by the way, my waist is 28 inches, I have to measure my top and bottom again. I haven’t done that in a while. I am aiming for 36 – 26 – 36, if that’s possible. Back in the good ol’ says, those were my measurements.

I eat apples for breakfast, apparently they are natural appetite suppressors. I also eat very few sugary foods, bread, rice and I stick to meat, veggies and fruit that don’t give me gas (LOL) or make me hungry. I confess I like salty and spicy foods. I drink a couple glasses of water when I think I’ve overdone it.




See? No big deal. And I love big belts.

What’s on your mind?

Update: another belt I love.


Picture Day: Guess My Weight

This is how I look at the moment.

** Update **

The poll is closed. Final results were:

And a big virtual hug to those who thought I weighed from 175 lbs to 150 lbs, which were answers 3 through 6. It was close too. Amazing.

Thanks for humoring me.


Weight Loss Weirdness

It’s All in My Head

I’ve lost 25 lbs since April. I didn’t feel overweight, fat or obese back then. I was content. But boy, oh boy, do I feel super-heavy, super-big now.

Isn’t that odd?

I can now wear clothes I had buried in the closet, because they wouldn’t fit before. I can confidently say I look better.

Yet, I’m uncomfortable, like I don’t look good enough. It is a bizarre, strange, almost there feeling.

Closet Case

My Mom likes to say some people look better with more weight. She gets scared when I start dropping the pounds. I can lose a lot when I want to. I calmly tell her I’d just like to wear all the clothes in my wardrobe. I tell her it’s for my health, which is true.

It’s rough looking at a closet full of clothes and complaining, “I have nothing to wear!”

The oddest thing is that because it is the middle of the summer, this is the easiest time for me to drop the pounds. The real challenge will be when it gets cold.

Am I set to lose more? Yes, I am.

Top of the Morning

I walk for an hour every morning, sometimes more, before it gets stinking miserable hot. I’ll be back at the gym come September. I was in there almost daily from April to June, but my personal trainer suggested I go outside for a bit – change my routine. I was hitting a plateau.

I’ll tell you what gets me going as well: green teas (hot or cold) and my morning blend drinks with spoonfuls of yogurt. I like making strawberry and blueberry drinks with yogurt, or just banana-carrot drinks. People make a face when I tell them about the banana-carrot combo. But don’t knock it until you’ve tried it: bananas are all sugary.

And doesn’t everybody eat the two together in cakes?

Lunch and dinner is a toss-up. I still eat whatever I want. I just make sure I know the exact amount of calories I consume.

Followed by lots of water.

I don’t sweat over mid-week fluctuations of 3-5lbs. I know that’s just water retention, or not cleansing out my system properly.

In case you are wondering: I can now wear those tight, straight legged, size 12 jeans.


Weight Loss: Staying on Course

In my daily journal (spiral notebook), I enter the following:

  1. date of entry
  2. weight for that morning, before I eat
  3. exercise conducted

    – period of time of exercise
    – estimate of calories burned

  4. calories to eat for the day
  5. – every meal I eat is subtracted from this total.

There you have it. Everyday, I keep track of: how much I weight, how much I exercise, calories burned and how much I will eat for the day.

It helps a whole lot.

Estimates for calories burned, I get from this site:, and for calories in food:


Vanity Check: Hair and Body

When one is as vain (sometimes) as I am, I like to periodically do the head and body check.

Finally, lost another inch, down to 39-30-39. I was able to squeeze into a pair of Levi’s size 12 (super stretcher!). Counting from my highest weight (almost two years ago), I’ve lost 40 lbs.

Oh the vanity! My hair is finally (sorta) armpit length – if you pull hard enough! Well, if I flat ironed (I’m tempted) it would be armpit length. But my hair is soooo delicate, any heat and there would be immediate breakage. That’s just the way it is. So most of the time I keep it twisted, bundled up, or under wraps.

The hard part begins when it gets cooler, I get really really hungry. All the cold foods and drinks I had for the summer, I cannot tolerate even in late late summer.

Gotta find warm filling foods that are still low in calories. Boy, that’s gonna be fun, especially during the coming get fat holidays.

Labor Day
is a funny concept. It’s celebrated by people not working. Just thought I’d toss that lame joke in here.

Heads up: the political season officially begins, I might start writing about it.


Weight Loss: Eating Healthy

In another attempt to ratchet up my healthy eating habits, I’ve added flax seeds to my diet. I toss in about a tea or table spoon of it to my blended morning breakfast drink. Flax seed is supposed to have all sorts of health properties: Omega 3 and whatnot.

I’m also looking at changing my morning drink to a yogurt / granola / wheat germ type of meal. I haven’t put together the entire mix yet. I don’t want to have to focus on stuff that I can’t purchase at a local grocery store.

Hmm, that’s got me thinking – I need to start adding bits of apple to my morning drink.

Finally, dropped another 5 lbs. I was hovering at the same weight for a number of weeks.

Man, this stuff is hard. I am not one who loses weight easily. Yet, the thing is I have to exercise for one hour daily and I cannot eat over 1400 calories per day. That’s it in a nutshell.


Weight Loss: What’s For Breakfast?

I was talking with a friend of mine about recipes; she was sharing her vast list with me. I thought back to the Raw foods trend, and how I want to increase my raw or natural food intake. I’m not a foodie, because if I see food I will eat it. There are very few foods I am fussy about.

I used to only have instant oatmeal in the morning. I’d eat it each and every day without fail. I rarely skip breakfast.

A few months ago, I started eating one banana just to pretend I was doing the proper fruit thing in the morning.

Lately, I’ve decided to be more creative since my friend and I were talking about using the food processor / blender for cooking. I haven’t used mine in years. We have kitchens packed with items we buy, use once, and never touch again.

A few weeks ago, I took out my blender. My goal? To create breakfast drinks.

The Bananas Whatever Drink:

  • 2-4 ounces of water,
  • 2-3 baby carrots,
  • 1 banana (you could use half – my drinks are very thick),
  • squirt of lemon (optional),
  • ginger (optional sprinkle),
  • cinnamon (optional),
  • cranberries (optional),
  • and last but not least half of a plain low-fat yogurt cup.
  • Sometimes I’d add about 2 cashews or almonds.

Into the blender the entire mix goes, and that’s breakfast. Doesn’t make more than an 8-12 ounce glass. I drink this with multivitamins, followed by a glass of water, right before I work out.

The Breakfast Alternatives Drink: sometimes I leave out the bananas, cinnamon, and cranberries. I find that I like to add more carrots and add some fake sugar. Anything to switch up the drink.

I think my drinks are a nice tasting low calorie nutritious meal. They don’t qualify as raw, but it’s a change from having just oatmeal.


Weight Loss: Getting a Digital Scale

I’m not sure if it will make any difference in losing weight, but I purchased a digital scale. It measures the level of: body fat, water, and muscle. I found the body fat amount similar to what I get from web site calculators.

The Digital Scale is a Conair Weight Watchers brand. The picture is similar to what I bought.

I like it already. You select a program level (to identify yourself), then enter height, age, and fitness level.

It gives my exact weight, plus any half poundage. As weight normally fluctuates throughout the week, I stick to weighing in on Sunday or Monday only.

Each time I lose about 2-3 I hover at that same weight for almost 2 weeks. So, I’m hoping for some weight loss by this weekend.

And yes, I have crashed (see earlier posts).


Weight Loss: The Holding Pattern – Part 2

There are many emotional issues behind the holding pattern regarding weight loss. I’ve certainly had my share of them.

Why the weight comes back or more won’t come off:

1. Getting tired of it. The exercises become boring. The body is adjusting to the torture, um, exercise and after a while I need to find new tactics. The incentive seems to fade, why am I doing this again?

2. Weather changes: Now, it’s too hot / too cold to begin that exercise routine today. I put it off. Next thing I know, six months have past and I’m over 30 lbs overweight again.

3. Emotional triggers: I get upset over something. Next thing I know, I’m wolfing down that salty snack I’ve been depriving myself of for the last few weeks.

Well funk that, I’m eating what I want, when I want, so there! After the binge, I feel horrible and eat more.

4. Unwanted attention: On some level (as an introvert) I likes being ignored as the “thick” or “fat” person. People accept me as I am. I’m the same person in a new body. I start to wonder, why weren’t these folks friendly before the weight loss? Shallow bitches.

5. Unwanted attention: Yeah, I know I’ve lost a lot of weight. Did I require your permission? (Some people don’t like you changing on them.) How many effing damn times are you people going to talk about how I look now? Did I ask your effing opinion about my weight? No? Then shut up about it.

There are people who think if you lose weight, you are doing it for them. WTF? Health is the number one consideration for weight loss.

6. Unwanted attention: The worst (to me) is attracting the eyes of men I didn’t want even when I was “fat” or “thick.” It makes me long for the days when I was chunky enough to be ignored by these guys. Hmmm. Maybe being 30 lbs overweight did have its advantages.

7. Unresolved issues and keeping it off. If losing weight is the goal, when is it accomplished? The hardest part is keeping it off, because if the exercises have to be heavy duty strenuous to get to this itty bitty size, and the food has to be constantly monitored, it becomes self-defeating. It must become a consistent, everyday good habit.

8. Unresolved emotional issues– Weight has been lost, yet if the “other” problems haven’t gone away, then nothing has been accomplished. The weight will come back and with a vengeance.

9. Don’t care – at some point, the indifference (to appearance) will return. So what, if I take an extra bite? So what, if I didn’t exercise? What’s the difference? And then the vicious cycle begins again.

10. The injury – I lose count of the number of times I overdid it on the treadmill. I would stop exercising, and this stoppage turned from days into weeks and into months.

11. Too much energy – when I start working out, I turn into this hyperactive child. I am so “psyched” and full of energy that I need to exercise even more. It’s similar to drug addiction, I need to work out more to hit my next high.

If I don’t, I may get so blue, depressed and down in the mouth that I stop exercising. So each time I work out, I have to up the ante. I’ve gone up to 90 minutes of walking, 85 minutes of running / walking on the treadmill, and stationery cycling at 13 speed for one hour. I do each exercise every day. For now, I never take a day off.

I know it’s coming. I’m going to crash when I reach my limit…


Weight Loss: The Holding Pattern – Part I

Well, it starts to get real tough when the weight starts to sit at the same number for a few weeks. I am not LYING when I say I work out every day. So, it must be something I’m doing wrong.

I did an initial weight loss profile on Jillian Michaels’ website, turns out I was NOT working out hard enough. Or should I say the exercise I was doing wasn’t burning off enough calories. Lawd. It’s always been that way with me, but to realize that 95 minutes of walking was doing little to nothing for me is agony.

I also have to scrupulously examine how many calories are in everything I eat, because I cannot get away with an extra bite like most people.

The scale may not be moving, but one of the joys of losing weight is shopping (in my closet) without spending money. Clothes from way back when I was smaller now fit. It’s delightful to get into these clothes. And I am even more determined to get into those really small jeans I could wear a few years back.

The best progress I can report is that I’ve gone from 44-36-44 down to 40-31-40. I wont stop until I can reach about 36-27-36, or a smaller waist size if possible.