Goals Reset: Where Has the Time Gone? It’s May Already!!!!

Oh my goodness! This is crazy. I mean we are almost at the half point of this year already!

Where did the time go? I’m scared I will look around and it’ll be Christmas again.

Time for me to start my New Year’s Resolutions all over again.

Gym Rat / Weight Loss

I’ve been at the gym 5 days out of 7. My body can’t handle the daily grind as I initially thought, but at least the aches and pains are gone. Boy, do I love weight lifting. I do that every time I go, and I alternate the treadmill and bike riding. Based on my body type, which is Mesomorphic / Mesomorph. I’ve lost 10 lbs since April 1, not bad. Usually, I can only drop 2 lbs a month, but I think my updated routine has made it easier to lose.

Why Me, Lord?

Why does everything necessitate talking to people who don’t like me,  and I don’t like them? Seriously, I’m not talking blog land. I mean out in the “real world.” No one ever leaves intermediate or high school. It’s the same people over and over again.

Nice People

It’s interesting to hear about people you’ve met only once or twice inquiring after you. I don’t know, I always get a warm and fuzzy feeling from it. Well, I’m always asking after them. Good vibrations go both ways.

It’s Too Warm To Hide

It’s like when the personal trainer and I were talking and he asked, “So why now?” Dude! Because by June, you will have nowhere to hide. The clothes wont cover the butt or hips. Part of what makes me look really big is my chest. Some women don’t like losing weight there: I look forward to it! I’ve got enough bosom to spare. I can barely run because of it. Ugh.

I Love the Summer, I Hate the Summer

I actually find it more boring than the winter. I like mild weather, like how it is now in the Northeast. But when it gets hotter. I dunno. I don’t like festivals, street parties or outdoor events. I loved them as a child. Man, those were the greatest years of my life. Today, the only thing I truly find interesting is traveling to different countries. That takes time and money. My goals is to get going by September. Again.


I love what it can do for you. I don’t have this mindset that it is the “root of all evil.” Its purpose is to be used like the TOOL (in a positive meaning) that it is. I think people get confused with what money does. If you don’t have money, remember that BARTERING is what existed before coinage came about. Always remember that favors / good advice are basically priceless, in essence, especially coming from the right people.

I Gotta Hurry Up

The only thing that irritates me about myself is the inability to rush things. I’m not an efficient multitasking type of person. I’m an old fashioned needle-style record player: one track at a time. I need things to be just right. Although I am aware that a perfectionist streak is a good mask for hiding fear of failure. I take too long. My goal is get it done. I will fix is as I go along, but things must get done. Otherwise, we stagnate, right?

Breaking the Introvert Habits

I remember being more outgoing as a kid. I took a class that said Introverts become more “closed” as they get older. Hey, for people like me, the daily exercise is to talk to someone (in the real world) everyday. Even if it is to ask the time. Co-workers don’t count. People I already know don’t count.

That’s the one constant I have to maintain: talking to people!


As always is welcome, if you have any goals, spell ’em out. I like cheering people on. Have a good one.

Cheers everybody.


Health and Exercise

After having fallen off the (exercise) wagon several times, I’ve climbed back onto the horse. (See how good I am with mixing metaphors?)

I don’t read the news, which is hard for this news junkie to do. And yet, I feel way better than I used to. I think during the winter when cabin fever starts there’s nothing to do, but read, eat, and sleep. I have a treadmill and weights, but it’s hard being motivated at home.

I joined a health club. Knowing myself, I have to go early every morning. If I don’t, I’ll never go back. By the way, this place is awesome. It has a separate exercise room for women (for those of us who feel shy). I told the sales guy, “I’m sold”, when he showed me that room. Some days I know I don’t want an audience.

The funniest question(s) I received, “Why did you join? What motivated you to join?”

I said, “Lose weight.” Um, what other reason could there be?

My reasons are bundled together. I know I don’t want diabetes. I want my knees to stay in good condition. I owe it to my heart. I’m vain enough to want to look good (okay that is reason number 1). I want my energy back, and exercise gets you happy-happy-high.

The guy(s) kept prodding me like my doctor sent me over or something. Thankfully, and knock wood, I don’t have any health conditions. My number one goal is to make sure I don’t cause any of the self-inflicted kind.

And what’s my weight loss goal? I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.

Here’s an easy way to guess: based on my slow weight loss methods, it will take me six months to drop it all. And it’s not 60 to 100 lbs plus.


For Black Women: Why White Men are a Better Choice

A topic guaranteed to make your teeth grind or make you smile. I am tongue in cheek, so if you don’t see any clarifications like the word some, I still don’t mean all.

So, I’m looking around the web, and as a woman who likes men I’m seeing a positive development: black women affirming an interest in white men.

Didn’t know it was still taboo? Didya? I didn’t either, but like nappy hair versus relaxed, when a topic involves black women expect DRAMA, okay? Okay!

So I offer the following (slightly tongue in cheek) as to why white men are a better choice than black men:

1. No shortage here. There are a lot of white men, dark to light, tall to short, fat to lean. Take your pick. Plenty to go around.

2. He is The Man. Remember all those expressions from the 1960’s and 1970’s (and some people still use today)? The man’s keeping people down, the man’s got all these conspiracies… yada…yada…yada. Why not just be his woman? The white man does have all the power, in being with him a black woman gets the inside track on what The Man is up to.

3. He has the money to buy the food, clothing, housing, etc. He will not leave you to foot the bill or play “going dutch.” His tip will be more than sufficient, and the waitress wont give you the dirty look. Don’t know that look? Date a cheap and broke black man – you will see it and know it.

4. A white man will not accuse you of being a gold digger. He’s quite happy to marry them. You’ll be wife number 3, because he believes in the motto: if at first you don’t succeed, get another wife.

5. He marries. No baby daddy drama for this guy. He wants to be “Father Knows Best.”

6. The first thing that’ll strike you as odd is how your blood pressure goes down around this guy. Why? He’s not going to argue over every little nutty issue like a black man will. For a white man, life is an individual effort, there’s no systematic effort to keep him down. So he’ll be a rational man, not an emotional one.

7. A black woman’s hair is not an issue with a white man – in spite of what Imus said. Natural or relaxed, he doesn’t care.

8. A white man will find your feisty hot temper (if you have one), rather, ah, er, amusing. Yes, that’s right, amusing. He is not afraid of you. He will also like your “tell it like it is” spirit.

9. He’s going to have a strange hobby. He may be one of those guys collecting Star Wars, Star Trek and obscure 1950’s movie memorabilia off of eBay. It’s totally harmless and as the “40 Year Virgin” showed, could be worth quite a lot of money one day.

10. Looks aren’t everything. The features are different, skin and hair color / texture certainly is. Yet, that wont change the fact he can have a heart of gold. The nicest guys I’ve known have been white men. Nothing I made happen, it’s just my personal experience.

The list is incomplete, but there are plenty more reasons to decide why white men are a better choice than black men.

It’s great to get feedback from men, and the following is one from Anvil Orange:

Baby, I hear you.

And as a white guy who has had a couple of long-term relationships with black women, these are ones that the black women I’ve been with say they like the most:

3. He has the money to buy the food, clothing, housing, etc.

You know it. I make good money, and as far as I’m concerned, my job is to drive the car, and to pay for, well, whatever.

5. He marries. No baby daddy drama for this guy. He wants to be “Father Knows Best.”

Well, I haven’t been married to a black woman yet, but I’m down with the idea, if everything synchs up right. And if someone gets knocked up, then I’m ALWAYS going to do the right thing.

7. A black woman’s hair is not an issue with a white man.

True. I just don’t give a damn. Wear it any way you like, do the weave thing, whatever, just don’t make it too BIG. I don’t dig the whole big hair thing, no matter what race you are. One of the black women I dated wore hers natural, and I’m cool with that, too. You just knock yourself out – see #3.

8. A white man will find your feisty hot temper (if you have one), rather, ah, er, amusing.

True. And all the black women I’ve dated so far had a very quick temper. It is always funny, and sometimes hilarious, to see what they get worked up about.

9. He’s going to have a strange hobby.

I have three, but none anywhere as nerdy as anything having to do with Star Wars.

Here’s another one you left out:

Black guys care whether you’re light-skinned or dark, but most white guys just don’t care at all. We’re already dating a black chick; what do we care how black she is? Because no matter how light she is, she’s still gonna be darker than almost every white guy.

So, that’s the deal.

There is one downside – most white guys that date black women are fine with a few extra pounds, BUT, they can’t hang with the obesity thing. I know black guys have a pretty high affection/tolerance for women who are 5’5″ and 190 lbs. but most white guys just can’t see their way to it.

Same with me, and I love a big butt on a woman, as long as that thing is firm. But white guys are not into ‘bakery rolls” and folds of excess flesh.

One of those cultural differences, I suppose.

One more thing, and its an important one – I’m in a long-term, monogamous relationship with a black woman right now, and I could not be happier.

I haven’t asked yet, but I would say the chances of us getting married are around 95% and climbing.

She’s smart, funny and beautiful. I feel lucky.

And there you have it….

** Update: Please Have Sex With White Men **


Hair: Length Check and Bantu Knots

Note: My hair type is 4a-z, nappy, kinky, coily, cottony, soft, fine, moderately thick, and very very delicate.

Time to check the hair length again!

It grows so slow now-a-days. I’m still trying to figure out where that growth spurt a couple of years ago was due to.

I had to cut off 1/2 an inch to 1 inch on the ends, because I was getting irritated with knotting. I have to stay away from small two-strand twists; they are the cause of a lot of single strand knots for me.

This summer, I am doing the following for health and hair:

  • Eating a lot of fish, I’ve been consuming a lot of Japanese food too. I know not to eat too much, because of mercury concerns (among other pollutants / poisons).
  • The weather has been too cool for my stomach, but I hope I can start making my morning drinks again with carrots, bananas, yogurt, and flax seeds. Right now, all I eat is a banana for breakfast.
  • Taking vitamins roughly every other day. I’ve included a separate supplement of D3 and powdered C.
  • Working out (longer / harder). I’m working up to jogging longer than 10 minutes at a time; this is in addition to my walking and weight lifting.
  • Co-washing, which is washing with conditioners. Sometimes, I’ll shampoo.
  • No more flat ironing, although I itch, and ache, to every time I wash! I blow dry on a reasonable and comfortable heat setting. I always use a heat protectant!
  • I like to keep my hair completely covered under a scarf and /or in a protective style. If I do wear my hair “out”, I style it to look less than shoulder length.

I suppose if I flat iron, it would appear longer.

My standard routine, the changes are always minute:

  1. Saturate hair with White Rain Conditioner Coconut. I couldn’t resist buying it from the dollar store. I love this stuff cheap.
  2. Part hair into 4 sections – just the hands, no comb! – braid the root, and twist to the ends.
  3. Apply castor oil to ends of hair, around the hairline (edges), and the crown where I always part the hair, which is prone to dryness and breakage.
  4. Put on plastic cap, cover with scarf. Sleep on it, overnight.
  5. Exercise.
  6. Wash hair. Open each section at a time, wash scalp thoroughly, comb gently with fingers, re-braid and re-twist.
  7. Wrap tightly with a towel. No rubbing.
  8. Open each section at a time, apply heat protectant, make smaller sections, and blow dry hair.
  9. Bantu knot each section.
  10. Done.

I tried to do a silk wrap (sitting under the dryer with a plastic wrap around smoothed hair), but my hair laughed at my efforts.

I think it will be next year, before I do this again.


Life Style: Switching Up Routines

Time Flies

It is one thing to schedule events to keep the self busy, it is another to make sure they serve some purpose. Going out for the sake of going out can be a rather aimless waste of time as well.

Ever notice how everything happens at once? You get a phone call on the land line, and at the same time the door bells rings, and the cell phone goes off. I cannot tell you many times that happens. Weird.

The same situation occurs with expanding social and business activity. The busier you are, the busier you will become. Momentum gains activities speed up, and increases exponentially, or eventually spins out of control.

At some point, I reach overload and shut down. It hasn’t happened, yet. I have to pace myself.

Light Headed or Vertigo?

I bought a trampoline, because working out the same way all the time gets boring.

It makes me giggle after the first minute; after the second minute, I am ready to barf. I have a “light” head. I cannot ride roller coasters, or any gentle amusement parks rides (even the kiddie rides!) anymore.

After I get off the treadmill, it’s a disorienting experience. I’ll take a few steps, and everything in my peripheral vision moves along after a half-second time lag. It is such a weird sensation. Now, I wait a while before I get off, or I turn my head, and look around a bit before I take another step.

I prefer walking outside. My exercise routine is to walk slow, walk fast, attempt to jog and then cycle back to walk slow and walk fast. I used to be rather self-conscious about making an attempt to jog, but now I don’t care. It feels good to be able to do what I need to do to stay in shape and not worry about who’s watching, what they think, or have to say about it.



Hair A Few More: Leave-In Conditioners

Hair Length Goal

I did not have a particular hair length goal before. I simply wanted to know how to treat my hair well, and to be satisfied with the results. I’ve worn my hair natural (without relaxers, perms, or any other kind of toxic chemicals) most of my life. My styling and treatment of it was hit and mostly miss. Now-a-days, I plait my hair (10 braids), and keep it in a bun. I can no longer two-strand twist, that makes it knotty. I will wash it while it is in braids, including the use of shampoo about once a month.

Currently, my hair reaches bra-strap and I have a medium length torso. I am aiming for mid-back or waist-length by February 2010. I wont stress myself to reach that goal. If I make it fine, if not, no big deal. My hair grows fastest and strongest, when I get into an exercise routine and wash weekly. I noticed that my vitamin and breakfast drink mixes made a big difference. I can only drink my concoction in the summer, because I can’t take cold food or drink unless it is boiling hot outside.

I really like this period of time we are in. The best hair products are available for curly, textured, kinky, nappy hair. It’s no longer about using grease as the solution to every hair problem. My hair issues used to be dryness, a lack of moisture, and fighting with the comb – yanking out fistfuls of it – after washing it.

Holy Grail of Moisture

I’m not on any search for a Holy Grail of great products. However, it’s great not to be dependent on any one company or product. I’ve found three new moisturizing staples to go along with my favorite Garnier Fructis Leave-In Conditioner. One is Organics Olive Oil Leave-In Conditioner and their other product is Shea Butter Detangling Moisturizing Hair Lotion.

My hair drinks these two products. They feel a bit sticky on the hands, especially the Shea Butter. I am already in love with the Organics Olive Oil Leave-In Conditioner. It is light, doesn’t go on heavy or greasy, and best of it all, it does make the hair easier to comb. Not that I am into combing my hair anymore, but it’s handy to have.

I use the BioInfusion Leave-In Conditioner right after I wash my hair. It is definitely not sticky. It’s suitable. I’m not sure how great it is. My hair drinks this product also. It doesn’t leave my hair dry, so right now, I consider myself satisfied with my entire collection of Leave-In Conditioners.


Health Issue: Salt, Sodium and Exercise

During the winter I watch what I eat, yet I rarely exercise. I stop around the time I need to see a doctor regarding respiratory or bronchial problems. I was rather good at keeping my weight down. Yet, come Spring it jumps up a bit.

I’ve been walking since February, but haven’t made much headway. Daily, or every other day, I strive to walk 1 hour and 45 minutes. I don’t walk for speed. I walk for distance.

As of late, I’ve been ingesting too much salt.

It’s because I love soup. It’s a great meal to me. I know exactly how many calories I’ve eaten. However, according to nutritionists I’ve read, soup is one of the worse foods to eat. It is high in sodium.

Reluctantly, I have to find another warm food substitute. I can’t stand a lot of cold foods, and most “healthy” meals seem to be.

I try to drink a lot of water. Although I know I could never drink enough water, depleted by daily walks, to replenish fluids, or dilute sodium levels.

Salt intake should not exceed 1,500 milligrams a day.

Salt is everywhere. It’s in carbonated water. It’s in seasonings. It’s in my low fat fake milk, which also has a ton of sugar. It’s in my oatmeal. I wonder if Sea Salt makes a difference? Is vinegar acceptable? Oh well. Gotta research that. I’ll write about Sea Salt later.

I have an incredible craving and taste for acidic, salty, bitter and spicy foods. If I have any craving for sugar at all I just know I’m hungry. With the cravings for salt I’m not even sure what that means.

I can’t play around with my health regarding this issue. High blood pressure runs in my family.

My remedy for this situation? Keep track of the salt, and drink more water. Overall, my goal is to get fit, then skinny without being rash, drastic, or harsh.


Weight Loss: Staying on Course

In my daily journal (spiral notebook), I enter the following:

  1. date of entry
  2. weight for that morning, before I eat
  3. exercise conducted

    – period of time of exercise
    – estimate of calories burned

  4. calories to eat for the day
  5. – every meal I eat is subtracted from this total.

There you have it. Everyday, I keep track of: how much I weight, how much I exercise, calories burned and how much I will eat for the day.

It helps a whole lot.

Estimates for calories burned, I get from this site: freedieting.com, and for calories in food: calorie-count.com.


Weight Loss: Getting a Digital Scale

I’m not sure if it will make any difference in losing weight, but I purchased a digital scale. It measures the level of: body fat, water, and muscle. I found the body fat amount similar to what I get from web site calculators.

The Digital Scale is a Conair Weight Watchers brand. The picture is similar to what I bought.

I like it already. You select a program level (to identify yourself), then enter height, age, and fitness level.

It gives my exact weight, plus any half poundage. As weight normally fluctuates throughout the week, I stick to weighing in on Sunday or Monday only.

Each time I lose about 2-3 I hover at that same weight for almost 2 weeks. So, I’m hoping for some weight loss by this weekend.

And yes, I have crashed (see earlier posts).


Health Clubs: Why I Hate Them

I have joined a number of health clubs over the years. Like anything that I’ve used out of necessity (at the given time), I’ve grown to hate these places.

What’s my beef with them? I expect service and cleanliness, yet I realize I want too much. That’s a common theme with almost everything for me: I pay more, I still receive less.

1. Too expensive – I’d like a pay-as-you-go place. Haven’t found one yet. I know as a business model it wouldn’t work for most health clubs, but I’m sure they can think of something innovative to make it work.

2. Filthy – I have borderline germaphobia. After I wash my hands in the ladies restroom, I take fresh paper and use it to open the doors. I even grab the paper first before I wash my hands. I use the paper towel to turn on / off the faucet.

I loathed using the health clubs’ showers. I examine the tiles and remember every stain. I can tell you: they NEVER clean these places. Don’t even get me started describing my nausea when my bare feet touches the floor.

3. Those “strange” women – Look, your lifestyle is your lifestyle. Not everyone goes to the gym for same sex hookups. Take that nonsense somewhere else, like those bars or clubs catering to your special needs.

4. Chatterboxes – I understand, some people go to health clubs to widen their social circle, make new friends, network, etc. I’m not one of them. I am downright anti-social. It’s bad enough the place makes my skin crawl, staying longer than necessary to talk doesn’t work for me.

5. Sweaty Exercise Machines – Yeah, we see the posted signs about wiping up after yourself. How different is a health club from a toilet? Does anyone every really clean up after oneself in the public restrooms? (I have my doubts that they are scrupulously clean at home either.)

6. Snotty Bitch Staff – What is this place? An exclusive upscale restaurant or someplace where I drop a few ounces of sweat, wash my ass, and then leave? So what’s with the attitude? This place costs a lot of money and you aren’t going to be here in 3 months, so watch the attitude!

7. Grunting Man – You know this clown. He comes in, arms akimbo, with belted waist, does some posturing and flexing before the mirrors before heading over to the weights.

What’s the first thing he does? Bends down, does a clean snatch and jerk making the most disturbing grunts and yowls you’ve heard since you last went to the zoo. What creature is making that noise? The missing link?

8. Commentators / Judges – Do they exercise or is it their job to note your progress? Do they have a life or is it spent all day in the health club? Do they ever exercise? They spend so much time watching others, and talking about them that’ve forgotten the purpose of the health club: exercise.

9. It’s Hard to End the Membership – Finally, you understand why the contract is so long, so convoluted, and they insist on an automatic payment plan.

10. Someone is always on your favorite machine – That quick workout is never quick, because there’s always someone on your favorite machine. She’s taking her sweet time about it. No quick reps with this one, she’s going to be there for a while. Frankly, that’s how it is with all the weight machines, everyone likes them.

The health club is empty during working hours, and crowded during the “off” hours.

Although I hate them, I still may join one. They have the machinery I don’t. I need a complete and thorough workout routine with the weights – no matter the wait.

It would be nice if I could create my own custom workout and payment plan with a nearby health club.