Rant: What I Dislike About Being a Black Woman Sometimes

Oh, I like being a woman who’s also “black”, just fine, it’s people getting on my nerves that ruins it.

You are damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

People like making up these “what a black woman shouldn’t do” rules, because they are emotional bullies, hypocrites, and misogynists.

If you work for your money, you are a bank. If you are broke, you are persona non grata.

If you express joy and satisfaction in making money, men call you mercenary. If you show little interest in money people become incredulous, because you’re supposed to be stressing over it. I recognize my limitations with fiscal sophistication. I manage as best I can. Sometimes I win. Sometimes I lose. Yet I don’t become smug or condescending because of it.

If you are single, people think your time isn’t worth anything. They assume it can be harnessed for the benefit of the married, or not married, with children, and the selfish. I cannot stand “bring your brats to work” day at the job. The parents think only the singles should work. I take the day off if they plan on being that disruptive.

Your achievements make people envious, upset, and testy. If I’m not taking from you, why worry about my business? Folks like to think that every black woman is at the bottom, and it upsets them if we are doing better than them.

Your setbacks make their day. Oh, they practice schadenfreude like a religion.

Men assume you will play Big Momma to them, because you get up every morning and work. What else am I supposed to do? Sit at home? Will you pay the bills, sir? Should I yearn to earn less than the average man at the same job?

Years ago, I had a guy tell me he likes me, because I work for “good money” and his future ex-girlfriend did not. He said she worked with the expectation of being an at-home mother. So, I’m supposed to be complimented with the assumption that I wouldn’t want to stay home and raise my kids too? WTF? This was coming from a white dude (ex-gf being white) who grew up among wolves … oh, sorry, black guys.

If you do not have children men will say, “I’m sorry.” I’ve never expressed regret that I do not have any. So, why am I supposed to be sorry? Not every woman who has a uterus has to use it. There is more to us than childbearing.

Some men assume that black women are so manly that we can all lift heavy weights, work out strenuously, and perform heavy-duty tasks like men. Back the hell up with that nonsense. I tell ’em straight, “I’m not a man. I’m delicate.” I get cold easily. I cannot lift heavy weights. The only place I’m running is on a treadmill. I don’t do anything to injure myself.

If you own property, a fellow will ask you why you bought it, as if I have the nerve to live in a house without his permission.

If you drive a nice car, jerks will ask you who bought it for you. This can go either way, if I bought it myself, I’m showing off, if a guy bought it for me… Oh well, let’s not go there.

Leave me alone about how I wear my hair. Seriously. Some people are looking to get the crap knocked out of them.

I don’t require anyone’s permission to do anything. I just go ahead and do.

Hey, black guys! If we accidentally make eye contact, that doesn’t mean I’m interested! If you are with a white woman: Leave me alone. What is with you guys? You’ve got your prize, no one cares, especially not me. I cannot tell you the number of times some negro acts up whenever he’s got a white chick by his side. I don’t even notice these fools until they say something, or they stare so long I can feel it.

Regardless of what some fellows think, just because I am a black woman, don’t even try and tell what I can or cannot do. I’ve heard enough from the “you-just-can’t” losers all of my life, and it didn’t, and it doesn’t stop me from having the life I want.

I do, and get, what I want, when I want, and how I want. That’s my motto since Day 1, and it always will be.

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Twilight

Pretty guy alert: Bella’s friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner).

Twilight was unintentionally funny, yet disturbing. I saw it on DVD, and this film would be a wonderful source of parodies for years to come.

I think what may have sounded great on paper (Twilight comes from a series of books about a teen in love with a vampire), but on screen: B-film quality, melodramatic, creepy, campy, and downright corny.

I Think I’ve Seen This Before

As an old reader of “she loves her murderous, dangerous, super-strong, pale, he-can’t-read-her-mind, uberman (Ubermensch) vampire” stories, I’m reminded of Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire series. It’s on cable as True Blood. I haven’t watched the series yet, so I don’t know how close that adheres to the books.

It was enjoyable to watch Twilight for two reasons: the director (Catherine Hardwicke) made Forks, Washington look like the most beautiful place on earth, and the music was rather nice. The cinematography of this flick was simply awesome. Makes me want to visit Washington state just to take a look-see.

This movie follows Isabella Swan (Bella played by Kristen Stewart) who decides to live with her father, Charlie (Billy Burke), because her Mom’s new husband is a minor league baseball player. The choice for the mother was either stay home to look after a teen in Phoenix, Arizona, or travel with her man. Bella decided to make her Mother happy and seek out Charlie.

Census Count: Check

Overall, the casting was surprisingly inclusive, every demographic was in this film: Asian, black, white, Latino, and Native American. I don’t think I can recall a movie this inclusive, and I’ve seen too many to count.

I only wish that Charlie was having a relationship with the black waitress, Cora, (Ayanna Berkshire). She seemed sweet on him. Plus, I find it hard to believe that a Sheriff as good looking as this guy could be single. I hope she’s in the sequel.

Kiddie Pool
: Deeper Than Suspected

As for dialogue, I find gasps for breath, hangdog, open mouth expressions, not being quite able to say what they feel, and excessive pauses in dialogue to be irritating. The flow of conversation could have been handled better. It came across as overdone, campy, and silly.

You know what though? I think this film is something that pre-teens (and younger) shouldn’t be exposed to. Although the film was rated PG, I felt there was something unseemly being conveyed. I’m not a prude. I’ve read some hardcore stuff at an early age, but I grew up closely supervised and protected. I can only imagine what kids are free to do today.

Predators ‘R Welcome!

What was unseemly in the film? Straight up, Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) was a weird, creepy stalker. Despite the bad boy saving a helpless damsel in distress, James Dean vibe or hairdo, he was way way older – nearly a century – than Bella.

He admits, he’s killed. He claims he’s a monster.

And Bella’s response to these nuggets of information? “I don’t care.

Initially, from the way they behaved, I couldn’t discern mutual attraction, or that they were even in love.

He has cold hands. He’s the undead. There’s no warmth in his body. If only the writers understood how uncomfortable and unattractive cold hands, a mouth and body is. Even in the beginning of the movie Bella admits she doesn’t like cold wet things. When they kiss, I’m thinking, A cold mouth? That’s repulsive.

Vampire or not, he’s essentially a cannibal. He’s telling her has to constantly control his urge to eat / drink her dry / kill her.

Does that sound romantic to you?

Our Alternate Universe

I twisted this scenario to a real world scenario: image an older guy, a killer, a rapist, a sadist, telling a young girl he can’t stay away, because he needs to kill her?

What’s the young girl supposed to feel? Attraction and flattered? GTFOOH.

Aren’t there enough missing young women about? I’m not saying young girls are all airheads, but some (as well as boys) are emotionally vulnerable, the right kind of attention and pressure could get them into a lot of troubling situations.

For Adults Minds Only

It’s an adequate film for the mentally stable, hard to impress, media resistant, and with a healthy ability to recognize schlock when they see it. I’m hoping there’s no suggestion lurking in any mind that anything that’s presented as a relationship in this movie is something worth emulating.

And with that said, I look forward to the sequel when it is eventually released on DVD.

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