Wing Men Wanted for Jill Scott!

Wanted-for-hire:

  • Tall, not too buff, white and/or Asian man, martial arts expert, needed to play the roles of Wing Men for Jill Scott.
  • Must be fluent in hood speech (you just need to understand the latest slang).
  • You must be able to name all of her songs, and be acquainted with the foods she craves and loves.
  • You must have high tolerance for drama, and be extremely proficient at handling high-strung women.

Your job – should you decide to accept the assignment – is to pretend to be really, really, interested in Ms Scott.

Background Research

She’s in Essence Magazine, on national, and quite likely international, television declaring her desperate, desperate need for a brotha. Not just any LeTrellmonte from the hood, but a professional, well-to-do brotha.

Seems she’s seeing too many with de white wimmen. It makes her wince. It fills her with angst.

She claims to be speaking for a whole host of black wimmen. Millions of us. Everywhere. Everywhere you go, there’s de black wimmen wincing at de brothas with de white wimmen.

Le sigh.

Gentlemen, Here Are Your Roles: Action!

Mr. Wing Man – 1.  The following are instructions for how your assignment will proceed:

You will take Ms Scott out to a popular place where a lot of these PWB (professional working brothas) hang out.

Your job is to make PWB jealous. I know it’s an extremely hard and impossible task, but Ms Scott desperately needs your help. She refuses to get grief counseling.

But we’ve got our ways to help break the dry spell in her love life.

You two will take center table. It’s not enough to take out her chair. You have to hold her hand, look into her eyes, and declare loudly, “I am the luckiest man in the world.”

We will get the waiters to sing a love ballad (her song of course), and you will present her with a large bouquet of roses (must be red).

At this point, you leave for the men’s room.

Remember to eyeball all the PWBs in the room, before you head out.

Mr. Wing Man – 2.  The following are instructions for how your assignment will proceed:

You will come into the room, and take Mr. Wing Man – 1’s  seat.

Stand and shout, “You are so beautiful, Jill.” Look around the room.

Then sit again. Grab her hand and kiss it. Kiss it again.

Put your hand on your heart. Give her a yellow rose. Make your exit.

Like Mr. Wing Man – 1, make sure to eyeball every PWB in the room, before you leave.

Wrap-up for Mr. Wing Man – 1:

Return.

Without bothering to eat, or take in the entertainment, or whatever, grab her hand, and escort her out.

Based on your urgency, people will see a passionate couple looking to leave early.

This time, do not look at the PWBs.

Must be repeated bi-monthly.

Now, these performances wont raise the interest of the PWBs, ’cause if dey like de white wimmen dat’s what dey want. But it may make a few jealous, and it will give Jill Scott all the attention she desperately craves and needs.

Maybe in future she’ll clarify that she’s speaking for herself, instead of cloaking her opinion as a “black wimmen’s issue with interracial dating.” Only for you Jill, only for you.

Some of us black wimmens actually love men of all races, creeds, and colors.

As for who de brothas are with, “Who gives a flying #$&*?” I wish they would only wince when we’re with our non-Black guys, ’cause they are damn well ultra nosy, noisy, and criminally stupid about it.

Now, I have to go burn my copy of Essence Magazine, right after removing Zoe Saldana from the cover, and related contents, for keepsake.

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Avatar – Dances With Cat People

I liked the movie, Avatar, by James Cameron. I have not seen Titanic. The thought of watching a three hour movie about a sinking ship doesn’t appeal to me.

This movie is spectacular to look at. The 3D aspect does make you feel immersed in the movie. Very nice to look at.

Plot: The natives, called Na’vi, on Pandora are under siege by military contractors (not the Marines) to mine the planet for unobtanium, which is worth about 16 million a kilo. That would justify the cost of a corporation spending so much in resources to head to another galaxy. This story happens in the future – the year 2150.

The lead male character Jack Sully, aka Sam Worthington, mentally links to a genetically created human-Na’vi hybrid Avatar to get close to the Na’vi. He was recruited to replace his twin brother who died. He was able to use his brother’s Avatar, because they have the same DNA.  

Side note: Imagine being able to walk about in another body? That’s a scary, yet exciting future to imagine. That is a true, fantasy, roll playing, out-of-body experience.

Zoe Saldana voices Neytiri, the princess of the Na’vi people. Sigourney Weaver plays the brilliant Dr. Grace Augustine, who helped create the Avatars. Stephen Lang (old man hotness) plays the delightful and memorable bad guy Colonel Miles Quaritch. I would savor bringing him back for the sequel. He’s very sexy.

Stephen Lang: Sexy mature man

I cannot imagine seeing this at home, because the 3D aspect would be lost. It was an enjoyable film, not a brilliant masterpiece, but fun all the same.

Racism Chasers

I read the complaints about the racism in this film, or the usage of a “white messiah”. I’m not a “racism chaser”, so I thought the main character, Jake Sully, wasn’t a savior, but someone willing to offer a different perspective and think “outside of the box.” Doesn’t it help to have another fresh set of eyes to look at a problem? Anyway, he helps the Na’vi help themselves. He does not singlehandedly do everything. He admits he cannot.

Did these “racism chasers” even see the film? They get so wrapped up in the modern anti-Western Lit Crit (all the white males are racists) point of view, they can’t watch something with an unbiased perspective. If they remember correctly, all stories have a s/hero who saves everyone. Nowadays, it’s not just a white guy, Will Smith and Denzil Washington have made plenty of Magic Negro films.

People like to look for something to be offended by. It’s a hobby for them.

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Mocking Star Trek: Imagining "Women" in Charge

The original Star Trek gang. Uhura is enough. No other “women” are needed.


Please note:
I wrote this to express my irritation with feminists, sci-fi fans, trekkies / trekkers who pretend to be pro-woman. Let’s be frank, for some of them it’s all white women, all the time. I’m for female empowerment, but not at the expense of black women, reality, a coherent plot, or the story’s canon.

There have been plenty of movies without women (note plural) in the lead, like Star Wars, or even in the movie, and there was nary a ruckus, or peep, for more of them to be included.

Star Trek was a fantastic film, as is. I hope it stays that way. ‘Cause I refuse to see any more films without a black woman in the lead, or when she is included has to be shown with respect and as a normal personal.


Star Trek was an excellent movie. Saw it three times. Might see it a fourth time. Will definitely buy the DVD when it comes out.

I’ve been reading some of the commentary and fan fiction regarding this reboot of Star Trek.

I’m amused by the request for more women in the lead. Oh, but which type of women?

So, Uhura wasn’t enough for these folks. Was it because she wasn’t a woman of the right hue?

I see through these people who are pretending to be nick picky with the movie. The film was re-introducing us to the same characters from the original television program, which was seven people at its core.

Oh, but room must be made for more women characters. If Uhura was a white chick with blond hair, like on every other bloody damn movie and television show, there wouldn’t be that kind of whining demand coming down the pike.

These folks ain’t nothing, but a bunch of greedy, narcissistic, and selfish wenches.

I’ve decided to outline my own version of this new Star Trek if it was written by, and for, the few people who appreciate and love Battlestar Galactica. That show’s two hour pilot and first season was marvelous, then over the following years the quality, intelligence, and coherence rapidly goes down hill. Sorta like how Heroes, and Lost, suffered the same fate.

The following is a sarcastic fan fiction summary of what would have made those “oh, but more (white) women, please” whiners happy. Regardless of Star Trek canon, we must satisfy the demands for (white) women being stars of this story.

In case you haven’t noticed, white women, especially anorexic blonds, are a necessary evil in every entertainment program today. Even though their last minute additions, or central characters, have no additional net positive effect on ratings.

Oh well, somebody’s gotta promote that white supremacy.

The perfectly amazing woman of Star Trek: Jaime Tiberius Kirk.

You must be familiar with the recent movie Star Trek, and tv show BSG, to get some of my points.

  1. When Nero encounters the USS Kelvin, Captain Robau is a woman. She would be brown-haired and white, not a very handsome and gorgeous Eastern brown-skinned actor.
  2. If she was an alien like those in Star Trek: TNG, then she would be a (white) actress with a heavy ridged forehead and some tattoos.
  3. Nero, the Romulan, doesn’t kill her, he keeps her hostage. I’ll state why later.
  4. George Kirk doesn’t get the glory in this re-write by those who require more (white) women characters. Nope. He’s not even first officer. His pregnant wife, Winona, is. However, she makes George take her place on the suicide mission. This is to ensure that she receives all of the accolades for saving those 800 people, not George.
  5. James Kirk is a woman in this reboot. He’s been renamed Jaime, but still keeps Tiberius (as a middle name) to help keep it real. He, I mean she, would look the same, be much thinner, have a five o’clock shadow, square jaw, and be as obnoxious and promiscuous – which is a very important characteristic for a (white) woman leading character – as the original Kirk.
  6. Yet, in this case, Jaime would be considered “hot”, “kick-ass”, a “blond beauty” for her masculine, aggressive, and manly ways. Jaime would have breasts (maybe). We’d know Jaime is a woman, because the crew would periodically refer to this character as “she.” Oh, and by the way, everyone wants to do her, because Jaime has blue eyes and blond hair. That’s always, always, always the case, and don’t you fer-git-it! Why, even Uhura came onto her at that bar in Iowa!
  7. Spock never re-assigns Uhura to the USS Enterprise. She would never be seen again since she’d disappear with the rest of the fleet that left before the Enterprise. He has no reaction to news of her death, thus making those greedy, narcissistic, and selfish wenches happy.
  8. Instead, Gaila, the “green” chick, would be on the Enterprise. Ergo, she’d be the second hottest (white) woman on the ship after Jaime.
  9. Tyler Perry makes his cameo dressed as Madea. This is the preferable way for a black woman to appear in the media, with a 6’4″ black male ridiculously “acting” as one.
  10. Sulu and Chekhov would be an openly gay couple, or Chekhov would be another (white) woman. Take your pick.
  11. Spock obviously has the hots for Jaime, because they argue throughout the whole movie.
  12. Nero still vaporizes Vulcan, but it is Spock’s father, Sarek, who dies. His mother, Amanda, lives. Although he loses a planet of his people, he’s not as upset as he is in the reboot movie version. Spock’s mother is alive, therefore keeping another important (white) woman in the story.
  13. Pike stays a man. Gotta have at least one dick in the lead. Unfortunately, he’s held, Federation Security information is extracted, and he is promptly, grotesquely, and rather violently dispatched.
  14. Spock and Jaime fight. Unsurprisely, the big bitch fights the Vulcan to a draw. It’s possible, right? Haven’t we seen enough BullShitGalore, and other entertainment, to know a female can beat a male even if he’s a super-strong alien?
  15. Nothing much changes in these scenes: Prime Spock meets Jaime Kirk. He says, “We were more than friends,” and brain dumps their entire special, special history into Jaime’s big ol’ empty head, not just the time travel, black hole stuff. This also makes the mentally challenged shippers of Kirk/Spock very happy.
  16. Entering the final stretch: Jaime Kirk and Spock are getting set to leave and save everyone. Yet, not before Jaime looks at Spock and says, “I know how you really feel about me.” Cause everybody wants Jaime: Ms Blond Blue Eyed Super-thin Mannish Five-O’clock Shadow Square Jaw Hyper-Aggressive Can-Keep-Up-With-The-Boys Woman. She’s just soooooooooooooo hot, and sexy.
  17. Quickly, Spock and Jaime exchange open mouth slobbering wet drooly kisses, panting, groping, exchanging much spit, before they are transported to the Romulan ship.
  18. They find out Pike is dead, and scrape up the pieces to bring back the body.
  19. As an added bonus they find Captain Robau, who’s pregnant with her umpteenth child.
  20. Why is she pregnant? Following commonly used, absolutely stupid, and retarded sci-fi tropes, the Romulans decide they want / need / desire / lust / crave Earth (white) women to re-start their race. Although, in this case, it is not necessary, Romulus still exists. However, even though they may view humans as inferior, just one look at a (white) woman turns their pointy-eared heads. Remember, Romulans are the extremely passionate Vulcan-types.
  21. The Enterprise beams all those half-Romulan / half-Human chil’ren on board. A hysterical Captain Robau, with her many chil’ren – some of who are adults and staffed the Romulan ship, watches as her man Nero gets sucked into a black hole, and blown to hell.
  22. Quietly, she vows revenge on Jaime Kirk, providing the flimsy pretext for a sequel.
  23. The film bombs at the theaters, but the die-hards tell themselves that no one appreciates quality (ha!) sci-fi movies.

See, how easy and predictable that was? The fans of Battlestar Galactica (BullShitGalore) should ask for a movie of their show, and forget about asking Star Trek to be redefined, re-cast, and re-imaged to suit their bizarre requests and tastes.

Frankly, if Star Trek‘s producers sees fit to add another woman to the lead cast, make her a very dark-skinned Asian.

I’d like to see how those “add more women” wenches behave then.


This is a link the best fan fiction story I’ve recently discovered. It continues an interesting storyline regarding characters, Uhura and Spock primarily, from the Star Trek 2009 movie. I wouldn’t want it included in the sequel movie, but as a quasi-stand alone work of art, fan fiction, or sci-fi story, it is very, very good.

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