Black Women – Devil’s Advocate: Are Black Males Real Men?

It’s September, and it’s Devil’s Advocate* month.

I was sent a link to this picture. Thanks Chocholatestar. 😀

We don’t know who created it, but it does beg the question: Are black males real men? People like to pretend that out of wedlock (OOW) births are an issue that is the sole responsibility of, and problem for, black women to resolve. It is not. Although black people love to embrace this particular myth, I need to repeat this fact to shatter it. Black culture or societies, whether in America, or around the world are NOT matriarchal. It never has been. Not by accident, not by default, and not by design.

It is a man’s world. Always has been, always will be. People enjoy tossing the words “strong black woman” and matriarchal around to hide a glaringly obvious defect: black males are failing as men. Their sole competitors are other men, not black women. Socially, economically, and developmentally they are lagging behind. Black women cannot fix that problem for them. No matter how financially generous, emotionally supportive, abject, submissive, relentlessly hyper-critical and abnegating of self – you cannot lift nor mold an “adult” black male into a man. It is self-destructive. It is the core of dysfunction.

Years ago, a radio talk show host I was listening to, without an ounce of political correctness in his body, made the following joke:

Question: “What is Father’s Day called in the black community?”

Answer: “Who’s My Daddy Day.”

So not only does a national talk show host know about the situation, it’s considered a joke. Despite what people may think: the joke is on black males, not black women.

Recently, a football coach of a prominent college mentioned that the only recruits that interest him are those with a father involved in his life. I think the coach was one of the few people talking about a strategy that people already utilize without giving voice to. Despite the polite chatter of the mass media, in real life people are quietly and severely penalizing the OOW offspring of black males.

Why? Because if they don’t care about their children, why should they expect others to?

Which brings me to this point: why mess with a male who statistically is predisposed not to marry, provide protection, bring resources to the relationship, offer support, or bother to raise his own children? Jill Scott may wince at “brothas” who are marrying non-black women, but she willingly had a child for one with a I-Am-Irresponsible neon sign over his head.

Is she a masochist? Perhaps.

Black women, do yourselves a favor, don’t join the masochists’ club(s). You are entitled to be happy. Don’t let anybody tell you that you are selfish, greedy, mercenary, a gold digger or desperate, because you seek a MAN who is going to do the things that most normal men around the world automatically do: marry, provide for their families, and raise their children.

Always consider this: there are millions of illegal immigrant MEN willing to face murderous gangs, cross a deadly border, walk for thousands of miles in the desert, eagerly join our military, and work from dust to dawn at sub-minimum wages just to send their meager earnings home to feed, clothe, and shelter HIS WIFE and KIDS.

Why? Because that’s what REAL MEN do.

*According to Wikipedia, Devil’s Advocate is:

In common parlance, a devil’s advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, just for the sake of argument. In taking such position, the individual taking on the devil’s advocate role seeks to engage others in an argumentative discussion process. The purpose of such process is typically to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure, and to use such information to either improve or abandon the original, opposing position.
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Wing Men Wanted for Jill Scott!

Wanted-for-hire:

  • Tall, not too buff, white and/or Asian man, martial arts expert, needed to play the roles of Wing Men for Jill Scott.
  • Must be fluent in hood speech (you just need to understand the latest slang).
  • You must be able to name all of her songs, and be acquainted with the foods she craves and loves.
  • You must have high tolerance for drama, and be extremely proficient at handling high-strung women.

Your job – should you decide to accept the assignment – is to pretend to be really, really, interested in Ms Scott.

Background Research

She’s in Essence Magazine, on national, and quite likely international, television declaring her desperate, desperate need for a brotha. Not just any LeTrellmonte from the hood, but a professional, well-to-do brotha.

Seems she’s seeing too many with de white wimmen. It makes her wince. It fills her with angst.

She claims to be speaking for a whole host of black wimmen. Millions of us. Everywhere. Everywhere you go, there’s de black wimmen wincing at de brothas with de white wimmen.

Le sigh.

Gentlemen, Here Are Your Roles: Action!

Mr. Wing Man – 1.  The following are instructions for how your assignment will proceed:

You will take Ms Scott out to a popular place where a lot of these PWB (professional working brothas) hang out.

Your job is to make PWB jealous. I know it’s an extremely hard and impossible task, but Ms Scott desperately needs your help. She refuses to get grief counseling.

But we’ve got our ways to help break the dry spell in her love life.

You two will take center table. It’s not enough to take out her chair. You have to hold her hand, look into her eyes, and declare loudly, “I am the luckiest man in the world.”

We will get the waiters to sing a love ballad (her song of course), and you will present her with a large bouquet of roses (must be red).

At this point, you leave for the men’s room.

Remember to eyeball all the PWBs in the room, before you head out.

Mr. Wing Man – 2.  The following are instructions for how your assignment will proceed:

You will come into the room, and take Mr. Wing Man – 1’s  seat.

Stand and shout, “You are so beautiful, Jill.” Look around the room.

Then sit again. Grab her hand and kiss it. Kiss it again.

Put your hand on your heart. Give her a yellow rose. Make your exit.

Like Mr. Wing Man – 1, make sure to eyeball every PWB in the room, before you leave.

Wrap-up for Mr. Wing Man – 1:

Return.

Without bothering to eat, or take in the entertainment, or whatever, grab her hand, and escort her out.

Based on your urgency, people will see a passionate couple looking to leave early.

This time, do not look at the PWBs.

Must be repeated bi-monthly.

Now, these performances wont raise the interest of the PWBs, ’cause if dey like de white wimmen dat’s what dey want. But it may make a few jealous, and it will give Jill Scott all the attention she desperately craves and needs.

Maybe in future she’ll clarify that she’s speaking for herself, instead of cloaking her opinion as a “black wimmen’s issue with interracial dating.” Only for you Jill, only for you.

Some of us black wimmens actually love men of all races, creeds, and colors.

As for who de brothas are with, “Who gives a flying #$&*?” I wish they would only wince when we’re with our non-Black guys, ’cause they are damn well ultra nosy, noisy, and criminally stupid about it.

Now, I have to go burn my copy of Essence Magazine, right after removing Zoe Saldana from the cover, and related contents, for keepsake.

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