Merry Christmas and Happy New York

Hope everyone is in fine health.

Please continue to take good care of yourselves.

Still on hiatus. I guess one day it’ll be over and I’ll be blogging again.

Hopefully, 2014 will turn out to be infinitely better than 2013.

Cheers.

 

xmaslights

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Black Women and Asian Men: K-POP @ KCON With G-Dragon And Missy Elliot Makes History

Oh, that was a mouthful.

So, for some of you this may be old news, but I like this story….

On August 24 – 24, an event called KCON took place in Los Angeles at LA Memorial Sports Arena. This venue accommodated a doubling of attendance from last year to around 20k.

G-Dragon performed his new single Nilira with Missy Elliott. The history-making aspect being she’s the first and only, so far, non-Asian to perform at this KCON. Although she’s not the first black woman artist to do a song with a K-Pop star. Lil Kim did one with Se7en. I think Amerie did one with him as well. There may be others.

See how black women roll?

From what I’ve read, G-Dragon and Missy Elliott are mutual fans. He asked her to collaborate with him. What makes it work is that they have a similar style. They mesh very nicely – in sync, in rhythm and flow.

 

 

Here’s one of his videos. Most amusing.

 

 

Buzzfeed.com has more.

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How’s It Going Folks?

Things are definitely looking up for my family member. No longer seriously ill and the recovery is coming along nicely.

Thanks for all the well wishes. Now, I can totally stop worrying – at least about this….  😀

**

So, what’s new?

I figure I’d throw something up just to let you know I’m still here. I was going to write a detailed long winded post, but not right now. It takes me time to sink my teeth into a subject. That’s how it is being a slow writer.

**

Hope everyone is enjoying their summer. I went down to Atlantic City the day after 4th of July. The boardwalk has been rebuilt and you wouldn’t even know that Hurricane Sandy had thoroughly trashed and wiped it away.

[I don’t know any of the people in the pictures, and I’m not in any of them!]

IMG_20130705_172525 IMG_20130705_172323 IMG_20130705_172319 IMG_20130705_172259 IMG_20130705_172254

 

 

Anyway, hope everyone is taking care of business and doing all right.

Cheers. 

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Open Forum: What’s On Your Mind? Talking About Self-Control and Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. May our troops, veterans and allies stay safe.

***

Time Travel(s)

I’m in the middle of a long, lovely, idyllic and idle weekend. Rather cold, but I like it like that. I remember a couple of summers a few years back that were rather chilly. Time is going by much too quickly, as usual. When we work, the week drags. When we have days off, they simply fly by. And I cannot believe it is half-way, mid-way through the year.

So, I’ve been asking myself lately:

  • What have I been doing?
  • Is it moving me forward?
  • Have I advanced in any way?
  • Have I (re)moved any major milestones?

I verbally spank myself a great deal. I try not to be annoyed with myself so much. To me, the perfect state of being is literally a blank mind. I wont be able to sleep if I cannot do that. I wont be able to drive. I wont be able to function. I often dwell and think too much about really really unimportant things I have absolutely no control over, because I do not want to focus on the big things that I must do.

Getting It Done

My approach for dealing with life is usually two track: 1) Little bites, 2) Big major moves.

It’s surprising to me, although it shouldn’t, how often I stay on the same track. It’s good when it is applied to stubbornly working to accomplish a difficult long term task, yet deadly when it’s used for avoidance and getting stuck in a rut.

Does that make sense? I know I’m beating dead horses in my life. I recognize it. Yet, I wont stop it. I discover notes, diaries and checklists from years ago. Same stuff, different day. Nothing seems to be changing.

Do you know how aggravating that is?

One of the things I’m always looking at is, How do I move forward? My personality, which I’ve been trying to change, or adjust for these situations, and for such a long time, I consider to be one of my greatest impediments. It is great for somethings. I am a Pitt Bull where it counts.

And I don’t ask for much. My list is quite short. However, it requires multiple steps to get there.

Lost in Lack of Self-Control

On some level, I think I can understand why people get up and run away, take too many prescription drugs, drink, get high all the time, work excessively long hours, push themselves too hard, are addicted to pain, pleasure and dangerous (sometimes criminal) activities. It’s about the distraction. It’s about getting the mind off that groove.

Unfortunately, it’s replacing one deep ditch for another. And one could get lost in the self for many years, forgetting what one wanted in the first place.

There’s this perfect limbo between absolute killing boredom and excitement so keen you could die of bliss. One cannot always chase the bliss … it can be destructive. But when you have to keep a certain state of equanimity day after day, month after month, because that is life… Oh goodness, life is extremely tedious.

I think it is a fine recipe for going bonkers.

So, what to do?

***

Everyone can talk about what’s on their minds. I’m just doing a little mental purging. 😀

 

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Decepticons: The Jason Collins Story and Wasting Years of Your Life Waiting on Him

Long-winded title, but hoping you get the point.

Maybe you’ve heard about it. Maybe you’ve been blissfully unaware of the hullabaloo that’s dominated the mainstream media for a couple of days.

See, what happened is an NBA baller (snicker) earned his 15 minutes of fame by declaring that he is – wait for it – wait for it – “gay.” Such an interesting euphemism. However, this is the deal: Jason Collins realizes that he enjoys, prefers and wants to have SEX, MAKE LOVE and HAVE RELATIONSHIPS with other men.

And he truly believes we, meaning everybody on the planet, needed to know this. Whamp. Whamp. (Sound of sad trumpet blaring.)

After I stopped laughing over the last few days, my hands were steady enough to compose this post. Ay, yay yay.

baketball2

He Was Afraid of What Now?

Jason Collins is 7 feet tall. He’s a multimillionaire. He attended Stanford University. He knows the Clintons, Obama and other elites. That’s a big, powerful, well connected and wealthy closet he chose to climb out of.

So, I just wanna ask: How could anybody so ridiculously massive and intimidating claim to be fearful of being “gay” in this day and age? I mean, someone is gonna talk smack to a big black guy nearly 300 lbs in weight? LOL.

This is ridiculous.

Our Pretender-In-Chief, The Man Who Never Stops Campaigning

Obama felt the need to thrust himself into this particular spotlight by calling on this cloistered, privileged, bench-warming and obscure NBA player. He had to congratulate him on being a homosexual. That’s important. Really, really important. Glad to know what the President’s priorities are. ‘Cause it’s not like he’s able to work with Congress. It’s not like he can focus on the economy. He’s got better things to do. Like playing golf, shooting hoops, coming up with those all-important March-madness brackets, etc.

He shows us he can focus: Michelle once complained that she was a “single mother.” Totally understandable. He’s a busy man.

And at the press conference he needed to mention it again. There are homosexuals and lesbians playing professional sports. Who’da thunkit?

Maybe at the start of each game, as they introduce the players, announcers can add: “Welcome player number zero, OchinoDumbo. He’s a heterosexual from Baltimore, with 12 children from his 5 baby mommas. Yet, on long trips, he can be delightfully bi-curious.”

Waiting 8 Years on a DeceptiCon

The part of this story that I find interesting is who got the stiff (oh, wrong word), er, raw end of this deal. Seems that Jason had a white woman, whose name is Moos (I am not making this up), that he DATED for 8 YEARS. Even was engaged to be married to.

Now, ain’t this a blip?

This relationship didn’t end when he was a young man, maybe still confused, torn or excited. This dude was about 30, if not older, when he changed his mind. But he rode (oh, wrong word again), used this woman as his golden beard for 8 long years, while he thought, supposedly agonized, and mulled it over.

Meanwhile, she said on one of those interviews that she, “Had a script of how life was going to be”, or something to that extent.

What the Problem Is

It is NOT that he’s (finally) admitted he enjoys the sweet, sweet taste of sweaty scrotum. No, not at all. More people should be honest – they just don’t have to tell the whole world. No one really cares. The issue is that Jason Collins deceived a woman, used her youth, her fertility, her time and her mental “scripting” while he knew he was living a lie.

That is down low behavior, which is foul and the heart of how a DeceptiCon behaves. It ain’t right.

Now, people may sympathize with his conflicts, or situations, but it doesn’t mean he had to drag her into it. And for such a long time.

Ms Moos is partly at fault as well. You don’t hang onto a man for that long. I don’t care if you knew him from way back when, like in high school or college. At some point, you either cut bait or reel him in. I know, I know, she was waiting for the “pay off.” And the cynic in me feels that, she would have been satisfied being married to a man who occasionally played for the other team. Discretely, of course.

Well, that kind of arrangement is nothing new. She wouldn’t have mind, because she’d have the money, status and “stability.” Plus, a divorce or alimony would have been sufficient compensation for the “estrangement of affections.”

Black Women Get Reamed This Way Quite Often

My last bit of surprise is that this was a “well-educated good black man”, a.k.a. purple unicorn, pulling this kind of DeceptiCon on a white woman. Look, I won’t front, I honestly thought that when you see an IR couple, and it’s BM / WW, even if he’s gonna have his “issues” – he’s going to be genuinely attracted to her. You know, there’s that Mandingo, Snowbunny, Jungle Fever lust and “white women let me be a man” kind of thing going on.

This changes my perception, ’cause here we got a black guy who was being a DeceptiCon (on the down low) with a pretty blonde white woman for 8 years!!! This is the kind of thing that gets shrugged at if the woman is black. Does anyone really think the media would even be talking to a black ex-girlfriend about Jason Collins? Color me skeptical.

I noticed the media wasn’t sure how to handle Ms Moos: Was she a victim or will she play the sympathetic understanding woman? This involved competing angles: the 7 feet tall big black “gay” man vs a pretty blond ex-fiancee. I’d say Jason Collins got the slight edge. He won the homecoming queen crown of this event.

Shock and Oh Hell Naw

And what a gut punch that confession must have been for Ms Moos, which happened well before the media got full wind of it.

She wasted 8 years!!!! on a man who she now has to “replay those scripts in her head.” Those scripts where she thought he was a wonderful guy, because he NEVER cheated on her with those awful, skanky FEMALE basketball groupies. What a great and faithful guy she must have thought of her big black man. Now, she’s gotta be wondering about all those times he was out “balling” with his male friends. ‘Cause he spent so much time with his buddies, she never gave it a second thought.

I hope she’s gone through her battery of tests, being with a DeceptiCon can be deadly to a woman’s health.

Lessons for the Day

Doesn’t matter how much money he has, that pay day may never arrive.

If he’s hanging with his buddies too much, that niggling suspicious might be an accurate gut check.

A year, maybe even less, is really all you need to decide whether he’s marrying you or not. Anything longer and you are wasting your own time.

Shows that being in an IR doesn’t mean he cannot be a DeceptiCon. He might even feel more secure with his subterfuge.

And there is nothing HEROIC or COURAGEOUS about a man using a woman in such a cruel way to further his own means and ends. A man of any age can waste time, but a woman, unfortunately, cannot. Her time is of essence. It is her life and to use someone for that long a time shows a callousness that borders on being a sociopath.

So, it’s interesting to see that some black males, even when they get a hold of white women, are still a hot dysfunctional dishonest mess. He will be bringing all his baggage with him, that which he has always claimed belonged to black women.

How exhausting some of these men are.

And Congratulations to Mr Jason Collins!

You enjoy having sex with men. So do I. Welcome to the club. 😀

 

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Open Forum: What’s on your mind? Boston, Obama, et al.

I meant to get this out earlier in the week. I usually want to avoid writing about topical news until enough time has lapsed. That’s because there’s always more information forthcoming.

Well, even with the little I do know, I don’t have much to say with regards to the Boston Marathon tragedies. Why? I am a low energy person. Some people are energized by outpourings of grief, anxiety – all these strong emotions or the theatrical pretence of it. However, I am drained by it. And looking at gory photos does nothing, but make me queasy.

I almost feel like if I don’t have this overwrought emotional response demanded by social media or the news – I am missing something. Like I am not compassionate somehow, like I must show some sort of empathetic response. But really, what does it matter and who cares what I feel? The only important people are those directly involved or injured.

To be frank, I am numb. Maybe disasters in the news isn’t happening every other day, but goodness knows one has to dial back abit. Cause lately it’s beginning to feel like everything is a disaster – even when the winds blow during a run-of-the-mill rainy day. I want real disasters treated like disasters.

By the way, in case I am misconstrued – all I mean is that what happened in Boston truly was horrible. Unfortunately, it will be overshadowed by narcissists who need to make it about themselves.

And must every event turn into social media candle light vigils? Does everyone need to show one was there? Do we immediately need to see who the deceased are, especially when they are children?

Must everything turn into an appearance by a politican who, as usual, will work in some distateful, unclassy policy position that has nothing to do with the event?

Anyway, what’s on your mind? The floor is yours.

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So, President Obama Cannot Call A Black Woman “Best Looking”?

Spot Check: Controlling That Narrative About Beauty

I’m not the biggest fan of the man, based on his performance in office, but the shrieking and howling by the media is hilarious.

All I notice is that the biggest complainers of the President calling Kamala Harris, “The best-looking Attorney General in the country,” were white women in the media.

Folks, some people hate it when others are the center of attention. These white women, who claim to be feminists, but are really white women supremacists – in other words, everyone must worship them – just hate it when they are not the queen bees, beauty queens or objects of (sexual) attention for every man on the planet.

They complain too much about it for anyone to find them believable.

And it ain’t about sexism. That’s a phony cover. What actually made the comment objectionable for those white women complainers is that the President (who in their eyes is a black man) wasn’t doling out that delicious “Hotness Factor” to them. I can bet that if he said that about a white woman in the same position, none of these chicks would be whining about “sexism”.

He has, in fact, called Debbie Wasserman Schultz, “Cute“, and that was a while (months, maybe years) ago. Still haven’t heard a negative peep about it.

Kamala Harris
Kamala Harris

Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Debbie Wasserman Schultz
The pictures speak for themselves.

Cause I’ve yet to see one of them get as bent out of shape and indignant when other men, celebrity or otherwise, talk about how they are the absolute finest women around. And that’s regardless of whether it is true or not about a particular white woman – as long as her hair is bleached blonde.

Jealousy doesn’t look good on these people.

Poor President Obama. He told the truth (from his perspective) about a black woman (yes, I know she’s mixed) and the liberals, progressives and feminists who are supposed to be his best buds turned on him.

Don’t forget now, the biggest group of voters who didn’t support Obama the second time around were white women, but you’ll never see that in the mainstream media. They have a narrative to push. I’m surprised they didn’t try to turn his complimentary remarks into hate speech – against them.

Well, I suppose it is, once the man uttered the word, “Best-looking”, they heard nothing else.

Ever see that kind of nonsense run amuck for any other group of people?

Yeah, yeah, I know all the parties in question are mixed, but I’m going with a bit of social grouping here. This is for when you ask yourself, Why does a very famous, incredibly powerful and wealthy black man have to apologize for calling a black woman good-looking?

 

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Black Women: When All Else Fails In Heterosexual Relationships, Become A

Did I get your attention?

I’m warning those of you who are very tender and sensitive to be aware that the next few paragraphs will be no-holds barred, non-politically correct, coming from my perspective and experiences (off-line). So, this isn’t something I gleaned from reading anyone’s comments, blogs, Facebook profiles, or having a third eye and happen to be talking about anyone’s intimate life or relationships from the psychic front.

In other words, don’t take what I say personally – if it happens to sound like you – well, that’s a weird coincidence, but I’m not going to apologize for you taking offense. And I’ll remind people who love to be offended for the sake of being offended: gnash your teeth, but keep it moving if you don’t like what I write, or run off on your little hooves to set up your own blog.

I’ve noticed that the words homosexual and lesbian tends to set off the easily offended brigades. Like just the mere mention of these words are breaking some kind of human rights accord. Being pro-homosexual or pro-lesbian doesn’t make anyone more moral, more just, or saintly than anyone else. I understand that they are the latest victim cause célèbre. I’ve rarely written about the topic, not out of intimidation, but because I had nothing to say about it.

Okay, so, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way…. Let’s begin.

Yay. They Are Here to Stay. So?

I think ever since the AIDS epidemic, homosexuals have jumped into the mainstream media and they haven’t gone away since. The topic is ever more present today, since the Supreme Court will make some kind of ruling where they are likely to turn 5000 plus years of normalcy on its head, redefine marriage, because everybody needs special entitlements, otherwise life isn’t fair, and declare it some kind of ultra awesome Civil Rights / Human Rights win. That, of course, will yield yet another round of endless bizarre social battles for those suffering from ennui, in their eternal drive to fight endlessly about nothing.

Because a culture that has all that it needs, is bound to chase after all its wanton, selfish, hedonistic short-term needs to the detriment of everything else.

So, let’s say that it does happen, eventually this, or a future, Supreme Court discovers invisible text in the US Constitution allowing them to redefine marriage. Well, they’ve made up stuff before. They are supreme at pulling illogical decisions out of their asses. This will mean a government body has ruled that they are the sole authority, above nature, society, morality, religion, science and common sense as to what constitutes a natural family structure. At that point, I’d recommend the government get out of the marriage and family structure redefining business altogether.

Anything Goes: Then It Is All Gone

‘Cause isn’t the eventual goal to allow ANY two consenting adults to get hitched – bar none? They are “in love” after all. This whole thing is about hurt feelings: mean people not letting homosexuals and lesbians redefine the natural and normal family structure. In instituting the redefinition of marriage, they get to benefit from legally binding contracts in one fell swoop, reap all those sweeeeet, sweeeet government entitlements and somehow magically change the fact it is a sexual minority and not the norm.

Then you must ask yourself, why not other alternative relationships be allowed to marry too? Why not two non-procreative siblings? Why even draw the line at two people? I await the first fillings from a bi-sexual woman suing to marry a man and a woman, because she loves them both equally. And what right does the government have to limit her love to one person?

See where this goes?

What’s so interesting about the whole thing is that the same people who demanded that the government stay out of their bedrooms, uteruses, rectums and other bodily orifices are inviting the feds back in to redefine, regulate, register and recognize the whole kit and kaboodle.

Wonders never cease.

The Heterosexual Tribe: It’s Not Going Anywhere Either. See How This Game Works?

I am deliberately using the words norm, normal and natural. Being heterosexual is the norm. It is what most people are, despite what the mainstream media wants you to believe. That’s just the way things are. All of us who were conceived naturally wouldn’t be here if your father wasn’t interested in your mother and vice verse. If people want to believe 25%-45% of the population has sex, or really really wants to have sex, with the same gender – more power to them. The way it gets promoted, I wouldn’t be surprised when the day comes that the mainstream media reports this in their latest poll: like it’s a goal that young people need to strive towards.

Now, I’m not for demonizing anyone’s inherent sex drives. That’s the way people are. I do, however, find myself annoyed with the 24/7 endless promotion of it. There are a lot of shows where if there is a whiff of preachy, “They are so awesome, don’t we all wish we were them?” When that happens, I’m out. I’m gone. There are shows that have ’em and treat ’em like it’s no big deal. I can watch that.

When I feel like I’m getting a religious indoctrination message from the 24/7 alternative lifestyle crowd, I’m not coming back to the program. But it has gotten so bad I wish there was a TV code just like there is with violence.

Yeah, I went there, because sometimes I have my fill of sexual content on TV too.

Crotch Watching Amigas

During my early years when I was a frequent passenger on public transit, me and my girlfriends would take a keen interest in guessing male organ size based on the bulges presented before us.

Nothing makes a trip so fascinating as to wonder: is it a sock or is he really that big?

The Wishful Thinkers Club

Growing up, I didn’t know EXACTLY what a lesbian or homosexual was. I never had much exposure to the term or what it entailed.

My guess is that in this day and age, 4 year olds get to hear about it day and day out before they even learn to read. This probably explains why only 20% of high school graduates are functionally literate. Progress.

I didn’t receive full disclosure about this stuff, until I attended college and was exposed to what I’d now call the “black lesbian recruitment drive”.

And you go, Say what?

I was mostly oblivious to what was going on, but what I didn’t know was that the school was well-known (among the very street wise, which I was not) for having a large body of homosexuals and lesbians.

I had other issues with the school – it being overpriced was one of them, it was in a really bad location, the fake snobs (from the hood and suburbs) were annoying, but if I had a choice to attend the school again, I would never darken any of their doorways. I didn’t feel it was worth the price tag or hassle.

So, what was the recruitment drive like?

You’re hanging out with your girls, and one of them cannot keep her hands to herself. You gently remove the hands, and you think nothing of it.

You’re talking about guys, and one of them constantly and coyly talks about that there’s something about her that doesn’t work with her male dates. You shrug, figuring she hasn’t met Mr. Right or maybe school and work interferes with the relationships.

You’re looking for school clubs to join. Boldly, she says, “Hey, maybe you want to try that one.” She’s pointing at the, “Gladly having Lettuce Tomato and Bacon” table.

I figure she’s joking, “Naw, I don’t have anything in common with them.”

And she says, “Try it. You might like it.” I’m confused at this point, “Try what? I don’t see the point. It’s not my thing.” She drops it.

Eventually, you drift apart as friends, because not only are you too busy to hang out anymore, she’s joined the “Arts Club” where she claims, “I’m meeting a lot of people like myself.” I say, “That’s great. It suits you, because you’re really friendly and outgoing, right?” She looks at me real hard and says dryly, “Yeah, something like that.”

My Last Bit of Conjecture

Over the years, I’ve a met a few more black women like my college friend. There is a difference between those who obviously know what they are, and I find them refreshing because they leave me alone, and those who spend all their time playing stupid “wishful thinking games”. Maybe they are unable to be honest with themselves. I was once introduced to someone, because since I was too “picky”, that must mean I had to be into women.

I’m still slow when I meet black women who like to hint, hint, hint as to what they are. Frankly, I’m not thinking about it. It’s not what concerns me. If you’re interested in other women, that’s okay. But don’t play that game with me, that if I’m not telling you my personal business or intimate relationships that makes me a recruitment target.

I’ve heard my share of nonsense from black women who rationalize what makes one a lesbian, and if you look at this list, that’d be all of us.
– if she’s an ambitious hard-working career woman.
– if she wears her hair natural.
– if she’s overweight.
– if she doesn’t go to the job telling everybody about her personal intimate business.
– if she’s only into black guys, if that doesn’t work out OTHER black women are an option. Hey, maybe she just needs to be introduced to another chick like herself.
– if she has a high IQ (I kid you not).
– if she tries it she might like it, and so on.

And in situations where I meet someone from the “wishful thinking club”, coming at me with the above checklist, then I am the one who’s offended. ‘Cause I look at it this way, if I was one, I wouldn’t hide it. So, they in essence, are pretending that I’m hiding in some closet with them.

The gist I’ve gotten over the years – and this is from other black women – since I am a black woman who knows her own mind, somehow I must be able, ready and willing to move onto black women if it doesn’t work out with black men.

It nevers occurs to these people, that if a woman likes MEN, she’s gonna take them in all colors, not switch genders just to keep it within the same RACE.

I am a member of the heterosexual tribe. Always have been, always will be.

~~~

Last stop

And if anyone is going to post a comment, please stay on topic. Anything off-topic might be removed.

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