A Brutal Murder in NYC: Some Women Better Wake Up!

Bellydancer quote – on why it’s good to be selfish:

That is why I think some black women are afraid of BWE women is because they are tired of their trifling sons and other male relatives living and mooching off them and are looking at us like why don’t you want to take them off our hands. I have read where BWE are selfish and self serving because we put ourselves first. We are not trying to serve a dying community that does not benefit us.

If you go to school and succeed you are looked at like you are crazy cuz black men can’t keep up. Not my problem try harder. Just because I did not help you with your homework while you partied that does not make me selfish. I do not understand the woman/jock thing at these colleges. Why the hell are you doing this man’s school work just so he can play sports.

Some women better wake up!

Why did I use that quote? Let’s realize that if certain types of black males (see below) cannot live parasitically off of black women, they will turn to (or on) another group of women flattered and later trapped by their attention.

Described as “charming” and a “ladies man”, a black male is persuaded by his father to turn himself in after allegedly killing his girlfriend.

In the NY Post, a “brotha” (Paul Barrera, 33 years old) stabs a white girl (Sara Coit, 23 years old) with such violence, using 8 knives, that she’s nearly decapitated, leaving her organs outside the body.

According to the article:

The attack was so grisly, it left a piece of a knife lodged in her head.

For those who fret over the well being of black-women-hating black males, must realize that if they don’t love black women, it certainly might not be love they feel for white women either. Keep in mind that they hate all women. What black women are spared from (when we have the sense to run from these violent, dangerous lunatics) they will turn onto the next group of women, or victims, if you prefer.

Here are some money quotes from a friend about the situation:

“Sarah was trying to get away,” said Blum, who called the 33-year-old Barrera a freeloader and said he took advantage of Coit for years.

“He was awful. He gave you bad vibes instantly. He was horrible. He was controlling over her . . . He broke her computer when she wouldn’t let him use it. He would take her BlackBerry for a week at a time, saying she didn’t need to use it,” Blum said.

Her friends saw the abuse.

The neighbors heard the abuse.

But when she was ready leave, she couldn’t get away.

Remember this the next time someone calls you selfish. You are looking out for number one by not letting a controlling man-child run and ruin your life.

This other story, I got from What About Our Daughters (on Facebook), is about a sista doing everything for her man-child, and he thanked her with a murder-suicide.

She was moving on up with her life, and he couldn’t bear it.

Dannette Willory (Photo courtesy of The Miami Herald)

Note: There are some abbreviations here and in the comments section I’d like to define. Sometimes I forget people may not know the meanings.

BWE – black women’s empowerment. A name for blogs that discuss black women’s issues from a point of view of doing what’s best for black women first and sometimes only.

DBR – damaged beyond repair, usually describing men, but plenty of women fit this category.

BM – black male / black man.

BW – black women.

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29 Replies to “A Brutal Murder in NYC: Some Women Better Wake Up!”

  1. When someone calls you selfish for doing what grown folks do they are telling you that they want to be a leech of your good fortune. The more that people, especially black women, recognize this the fewer people these parasites have to suck the life out of.

    This reminds me of a Judge Judy program on yesterday. A former girlfriend was coming to court because her boyfriend was using her ATM machine without her permission. However not once did she file a police report. The verdict was that she would not hear the case until the gal filed one. The girl was insane or really needed to have a man around.

    There is a difference in really wanting to share your life with a man and must having one for identity purposes. The latter can put your life in danger as these two horrible cases show.

    GoldenAh: Hello Pamela, pleasure to hear from you. πŸ™‚

    Judge Judy’s show is very very instructive. Nearly every case I’ve had the chance to watch involves a woman giving everything she can to parasitic people. It’s stunning how many people get taken advantage of.

    Women are very reluctant to involve the police. No matter what happens. I think if it gets to the point where the police are required, she should find a way to get away, far far away, and disappear like she’s in a witness protection program. πŸ™‚

  2. Hello Ms Chambers: Here are some dumb ass defective quotes that they learn from there mother and other males. ” Why are you so mean, You should be nice, Stop being evil”.Notice when they open their mouth they sound like a spoil brat. They used this language after they get tried of pretending to be something they are not. I am sadden by these young ladies death. You cannot save these bastards, and since the economy is bad; you have alot of them coming out of the prison system. Because they are felons they cannot go into nursing, pharmacy or any other health related field, drug testing and background check is wonderful. One day I decided to catch the bus to campus instead of driving, I encounted one of these bastard, they do not respect boundaries. Can I have your number, My reply no and I move my seat to the front of the bus, he move also. I took out my mace and spray him in the face. Call the transit people and they took care of the rest. Ladies you cannot feel sorry for these defective men. Once again Ms Chambers thank you for this important information.

    GoldenAh: I’m sorry to hear you were harassed. Glad you came out of that incident alright. You are right, they do not respect us at all. We’re just here to serve them, like we have no rights, needs, and our own interests. It’s sick and crazy.

    I’ve had my share of grief when I used to live and commute everywhere in NYC. When I moved, I relocated to the lily white ‘burbs, ’cause the folks (black, white, Asian, and Latino) out here leave you alone. Plus I drive everywhere.

    I hear you on the felons getting out of the prisons. The government is cutting back, so there’s going to be even more dangerous folks on the streets.

    Stay safe.

  3. Hate to say it, but when he destroyed her computer she should have given him a “you know what” whooping and kicked him out of her house. Wonder why her family (the males specifically) didn’t intervene.

    Sounds like Nicole Simpson all over again. Both stories are very sad.

    GoldenAh: This may sound a bit stereotypical, but some white girls are too nice. Very wide eyed and naive. Some seem to grow up so protected, they probably never imagined someone could be so evil … towards them. Hell, I wouldn’t believe it myself.

    And with abuse, it doesn’t start right away. The first order of business for a creep, in a relationship, is making her believe she needs his permission to do anything. That’s what all that control is about. Initially, she probably thought it was him being protective of her. Sorta like how some girls (and many man-childs) believe a thuggish creep is an Alpha male.

    Yeah, Nicole used to say OJ was going to kill her one day, didn’t he?

    Barrera confessed to the crime. I’m sorry that they still can’t use the death penalty. He needs to be put to sleep. πŸ™‚

    Great to hear from you, Patricia! πŸ˜€

  4. Hi Betty,
    Grest and timely stories. Ladies, the summer months are soon to be upon us. Please keep your guard up when out and about..when I read that story about the near decapitation on Gawker.com yesterday..I had a small incling (sp?) of a feeling that the perpetrator was a DBR B male. I thought it was odd that only the victims picture was shown. And in that story they SPECIFICALLY mentioned that her parents and her were from the “tony Connecticut” town of ..the name escapes me now…but my left eyebrow raised instinctively when I read “tony” because that is the journalistic euphamism for “exclusive/wealthy/suburban/overwhelmingly majority white” area of any metropolis.

    Please ladies who come to this blog do yourselves a favor – after all these years of reading these and other blogs if you DONT move away from and FLEE the all Black enclaves you will have no one to blame but yourselves.

    In the very near future I would suggest you purchase Octavia Butlers books prepare you a get away backpack and carry mace ( like L Higgins ) and most of all DO NOT DATE BLACK MEN.

    That increases your survival rate by at least 80-90% from the get go. Read that story again about how this idiot was a “charmer” and all he did was use and abuse this w/woman…just think about yourselves for a change!!

    This is no joke – the DBR men are not being pacified anymore and they are coming out of the woodwork in droves looking to take their revenge and to get “theirs” ANYWAY they can.

    I am so thankful to God that I am married to a wonderful white man who has provided for me and I dont have to encounter these types of DBR b men ever!!!

    GoldenAh: It’s heartbreaking and horrible now…. I agree, it’ll be worse come summer. I live a couple of hours from four major urban cities. We get a belly full of news from all of them. I try to tune it out, but lately…. πŸ™

    People are going stark raving mad bonkers. The stories I am hearing! I know it’s partly the economy. I know people are stressed. There’s so much anger out there…. And now NY has a serial killer. They still haven’t gotten the one who left those bodies in Atlantic City, NJ. I believe it’s the same guy.

    When I heard the name Barrera, I thought his victim would be a Latina. I didn’t know her race until I saw the pictures in the NY Post.

    As for you sisters out there, if you don’t have any MACE, get some now. I don’t know the law regarding tazers, but if you can get one – do so. Please get something to protect yourselves.

    Please stay safe.

    Thanks for the great feedback, Ms MsMellody. Nice to hear from you. πŸ™‚

  5. And that Dannette Willory story absolutely breaks my heart.

    BUT— and this is the saddest part..this story is going to be REPEATED again and again and again in the years and months to come.

    Simply because there are untold numbers of Bwomen who do not believe what writers like Betty, and other BWE bloggers have been writing about.

    There are still women who are Black who are feeding their daughters this story about the BC being alive and well and that they should just “wait” and all the while these young girls are waisting their lives and having the next generation of OOW system drainers…

    Just sad. I just hope some young lady learns from this and makes a quiet stealth like move to get away.

    GoldenAh: Dannette came from a good home. No parent thinks that if their daughter’s boyfriend is a little bit of slacker, a “brotha” from around the way, that he’d also turn out to be a monster. With the slim pickings available to ambitious young girls such as her, she probably thought he was as good as she could get. And he was described as her “fix up” project.

    I think a lot of smart, driven black girls / women are being brainwashed to believe that their controlling, unmotivated, and freeloading man-child boyfriends are future Barack Obamas of some sort. I remember a number of articles written about “brothas with potential” as a way to encourage these relationships.

    Potential belongs to an Ivy League graduate, or a young man running a legitimate business. It cannot be instilled by a busy young woman who has to wake up and then drive her guy to work, because he has no inner drive to do anything for himself or for his girl.

  6. My cousin was murdered by her husband back in 2007 when she tried to leave him. Here was a woman who survived breast cancer, drug addiction and the death of her Father just a few months prior to her own untimely demise. She had everything going for her–beauty, a warm personality, successful career, college education. yet, she couldn’t get away from this loser she was married to for way too long. There were warnings– he had been abusive throughout their relationship, but she always forgave him and went back, thinking that she could change him. She died and he killed himself later. We still can’t figure out what she saw in him and why such a beautiful person had to die so violently. How many more BW have to die like this before they come to their senses?? If the man isn’t what you want him to be and he’s holding you back, walk away before it’s too late.

    GoldenAh: I’m sorry to hear that, Funkystarkitty50. {{hugs}}

    I can only say I hope she’s in a better place now.

  7. SOOOO true about their issue being with women and them taking their DBR tendencies to other races of women. I had an Asian friend that was dating this Asian woman temporarily. She was married to a Black man, who was a mayor in some town in Texas. And that Black man was beating the tar out of her. She left him but ultimately went back. And I’ve heard of Ethiopian women who married or dated DBR Black men only to end up badly abused, and in the case of at least three, murdered. One was killed with a hammer in the MD area after she tried to break it off. Black women with any sense of self worth and value, instead of getting angry or jealous when they see Black American men (there ARE some good ones, but MOST, as a whole are highly dysfunctional) should be relieved…I say good riddance….

    GoldenAh: Damn. And don’t these men love to say how “easy” these women are to deal with? We all know the problem isn’t with the women at all.

    I feel sorry for the women who date and marry some black males, ’cause I suspect there’s a boiling hot mess lurking there. Especially if he feels the need to try and stare me down if he’s with a non-black woman. I look away, I don’t care, and I don’t want to know. πŸ™‚

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Kris. πŸ™‚

  8. I meant to say, “When they see Black American men with non-Black or non-Black American women should be relieved…I say good riddance!!!

  9. I bet now white men up in those “tony” areas are going to be real leery of their daughters dating men who seem “off”. Her family knew something was not right with this man and should have got her away from him immediately. I am sure they had the resources to do so but probably did not want to appear racist.
    Even the women who worked with him sensed he was not right in the head.
    White men are not going to sit by idly while negores rum amock and neither are other races of men so all the bw ready to defend this idiot need to go sit down!

    GoldenAh: I think that’s it right there, Bellydancer. I think there’s only so much they could do, and expressing unease might have gotten them accused of being racist. Probably nothing makes a young (white) girl more attached to and fascinated with her psychotic-thug-creep than Daddy’s disapproval.

    I don’t think the fathers in any of these stories imagined that any man would want to viciously murder their little girls. Would that really go through any parent’s mind? Sometimes when I am hardcore about people who have to do right by me, my Mom is trying to give me their side of the story (even if she doesn’t know them). I’m like – “You don’t know how some people are today. You gotta cut ’em off at the knees.”

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