BETTY CHAMBERS

Narcissism for Black Women: The Very Good and Healthy Expression of Deep Self-Love, and Extreme Self-Devotion. Why? Because It's Good For Ya! And Sometimes I Write about Natural Hair, Among Other Things


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I Hurt This Black Male’s Feelings. Weep For Him.

Posted on | May 7, 2011 | 56 Comments

“Brian M.” has something to say. These are all his words.

This kinda stuff one cannot make up. :D

Go forth and tell us how you feel, kind Sir:

Now look let me say this up front I am not here to pick a fight with you or anything I just going to say this because whatever I say I will be wrong anyways to you. Me personally, I understand of what you are saying about us black men which is true and sad but let me be the first to tell you WE ARE ALL NOT LIKE THAT!!!!! I am sorry for what my brotha’s has done to black women and honestly if a bw wants to be with a wm I am not hating at all as long as she is happy then I am good I respect my black women and I am proud of you to become so successful as a career as a black woman no doubt. Further, I am here to say that even though I get reject sometimes by black woman but that doesn’t mean that I hate her it’s like hating on my mother or my sister…………. plus you expired me to make a website to show not only to america, our black women and society but to ourself that there are some good unicorns as you expected left in this nation true there a good few no good black men who ruin for all of us for every 15 good black men it takes 2 of them to bring them down. As so far as wm asking bm advise on how to treat a bw well for any matter I don’t ANY man should ask another for advise on how to treat 1 especially if you friend treats woman like crap so there you go. No I don’t wm males who takes a glance a bw. (All right got the good support stuff out the way)BUTTTTTTTTTT………….. Here is my problem with you. Okay kool you like white guys I get that but don’t label us black men as the devil. You have some nerves to make threads like these. Why can’t be other men from other races. You act like white don’t do nothing wrong and that they are perfect. It cracks me up that you that white are more committed to marriage and not ending up in divorce cout. I’ve seen more divorces from white couples then I do most black couples. You are something else (word to advise to other black women on here) if you are looking for love then love that person because you can get pass by the outside shell. I have white male friends that said to least treat their women like shit but you don’t talk about that do you (AND DON”T SAY THEY DONT BECAUSE YOU ARE FULL OF IT). When you are going to get it in you head that men are men and women are women true there are some trait when it comes to race but come on. You having these sista’s believing that we black males are evil as it comes. Now your probably asking yourself why if you website doesn’t bother me then why I am post a comment on here bashing and everything. It’s not that bw wants to find love in other races that gets me mad (like I said earlier as long as she is happy then I am kool with it as a matter of fact my childhood classmate who is white is married to a black woman and I treat him no different then anybody else) it’s the fact you continue to bash on black men like it ain’t nothing like we are all the same no class, no education, no self respect for himself or for his woman I can go on forever. ALL BLACK MEN DONT LIVE IN THE GHETTO, not all of us act that way, so you need to be realistic in words (but hey this is you website you probably have some smart remarks to say but if you are any kind of human then you will respect my opinion. Let me make a website to how much bm needs to be with a wm I bet I will get all kinds of hate mails. I get it YOU HATE BLACK MAN but the convience these sista’s that there are none or little black men. So let me ask you this how come it’s about love when comes to bw\wm relationship but when it comes to bm/ww relationship we have to be weak, hateful towards black women, sell-outs you get the big picture. I know that is a four page letter and didn’t even enclose it with a kiss but I am calling you out email me back or you can just ignore it (which you probably will) and make it seems like i am just another angry black man just because a white guy has taking another black woman yeah yeah yeah. Oh I trust me I had more to say but I think that this is enough. You are the biggest hypocrit, bitter, sour sell out black woman I ever heard in my life but do I hate you for it NOPE……. You need to be one-hundred to these black women on here AND STOP JUDGING us black males like that it’s not even cute at all it makes you look even dumbe. Black women love whatever man that loves you black, white, latino, asian, indian whatever!!!!!!!! Please stop listening to this woman (now she I didn’t disrespect you are anything I just the creator how it is.)

Brian M.

GoldenAh: Say what?

Nothing personal Brian, but long rants like yours bore me.

You need to realize, I don’t care about your opinion(s). I don’t know you. You ain’t my peeps. The only black men I care about are family. But I don’t worry after them like children, because all of them know how to be a Man. They handle their business. In other words, they’re normal.

Your black male entitlement credit card isn’t accepted here. You cannot buy pity, sympathy, respect, or a facsimile of your imaginary “black community” here.

The current disaster of the “black community”, whether rural or urban, rests on the shoulders of you and your “brothas”. Not those of black women. The notion of a black matriarchal society, community, and culture is a myth. They’ve never existed. What’s going on is black male abandonment. Own it.

It’s a man’s world, and this entire mess belongs to y’all.

Furthermore, your issues are your problem. Some of y’all think you’re slick trying to get any, and all, black women worked up over your unresolved manhood issues. I’m not one of them.

You cannot make me feel guilty or sorry for you (and you are pitiful), because I’ve noticed – all of my life – how black males treat black women. Everyone notices. It’s a secret everyone knows: Google the stats – they’re easy to find.

Black women not talking about it won’t make it go away.

You’re bothered that the sistas come here and testify as to just how rotten, creepy, deadly, and sick some of y’all are. They come, because they can speak freely. They can no longer be guilt tripped into silence. No longer do they believe that “victimized” black males should be entitled, allowed or enabled to stomp and grind a black woman’s brains, dignity, color or complexion, beauty, “spicy” personality, and self-esteem into dust. Whereby this brutality towards black women somehow results in a re-built Utopian “black community”.

It don’t work no more.

Their stories show they are emancipated. They have moved on: mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. We all have. And more will join them. That’s why you’re squealing. You’re the proverbial pig that got struck.

You black males need to adjust to this fact: your competition has never been, and never will be, black women, it is other men. And black women don’t need y’all.

Their relationship goal(s) aren’t about scraping the same filthy bowl swapping pitiful, useless, and damaged beyond repair (dbr) black males for abusive white men. No, these women’s standards are higher. The non-black men black women decide to be with fits their criteria. It has nothing to do with a perceived shortage of black males. It’s simply that a majority of black males no longer measure up.

Who black women date, mate and marry is their business. Why they date, mate and marry non-black men is their business. They don’t need, or require, black male acceptance or permission. Your opinion and approval don’t mean jack. Their reasons for liking and loving non-black men don’t have to go through a Negro Interracial Committee acceptance vote.

So, mind your own business from now on.

You gonna need to take the same attitude a lot of black women take towards those who’ve made billions selling the world degrading rap(e) music – realize that the words negroes, bitch-ass-niggas, and stories of how badly these bastards treat others – don’t always apply to oneself.

In other words, if they ain’t talkin’ about you, then it ain’t about you.

And I will continue to blog what I want to blog about.

Consider that advice to help you sleep at night, you poor, distressed, little child.

Cheers. 😀

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Comments

56 Responses to “I Hurt This Black Male’s Feelings. Weep For Him.”

  1. Obsidian
    May 7th, 2011 @ 2:00 PM

    Hi Betty,
    You might be interested in the following article I wrote sometime back:

    [Nope, no linky-linky here.]

    Check it out and holla back

    O.

    GoldenAh: Nope. 🙂 I’m not interested. I’m feeling rather selfish. So no traffic or linky-linky from me to you. Plus, I don’t feel like reading white text on black background … it irritates me.

    At the end of the day, whether black women are in interracial relationships (or not) has nothing to do with you. You keep your wishlist to yourself, ’cause I could easily cite 100 reasons why no one really wants a black male.

    Y’all need to evaluate why you don’t measure up to non-black men, and look at improving yourselves. Remember that other men are your competition, not black women.

    And some of you black males need to leave black women alone, okay? Since the majority of y’all aren’t coming from a place of actual respect, concern or consideration.

    Have a good day, Sir. 🙂

  2. Sheila
    May 7th, 2011 @ 2:35 PM

    You go girl. Keep up the excellent work on your blog and oh yea, I will support you in talk and in dollars.
    Thank you for the straightforwardness.

    GoldenAh: Thank you so much for your support, Sheila. I really appreciate it. I don’t see myself as being much of a “rough rider”, but some folks are so hard headed, you know?

    Take care. 😀

  3. LorMarie
    May 7th, 2011 @ 8:44 PM

    This is so hilarious. Black males who attempt to guilt trip us are truly chasing a wild goose. Get over it. There are black women out there who don’t care about the black male collective. I surely don’t. Again, get over it and focus on bw who do care.

    GoldenAh: It’s the same thing over and over again with these critters. If they don’t care about black women with non-black men, or a bit of criticism, why all the squealing, why all the blog posts, why all the damn drama about it?

    We’re insulted every day and told to “buck up” or change. Well, they better put on the big boy pants and deal with it. There are no surrogate Mommies here.

    Nice to hear from you, LorMarie. 🙂

  4. L, Higgin
    May 8th, 2011 @ 1:18 AM

    Betty you rock, You cut him down to size. That shit will not try that scam again.

    GoldenAh: Thanks, L, Higgin. 😀

  5. SouthlandDiva
    May 8th, 2011 @ 11:38 AM

    It is passing strange how some black men will come to a BWE blog and declare how ‘kool’ they are with bw expanding their relationship options only to turn around and bash the blog host. I know most blog readers recognize the trollish behavior for what it is. I also hope they recognize that though the invective is supposedly directed at you (the blog host), this diatribe is actually targeting all bw who dare to step outside of what the so-called black community says is proper thought/behavior.

    Black men assume when black women date non-bm that they hate bm. This response is understandable since it takes the feelings of rejections, inadequacy and lack of control they experience and makes his feelings the fault of the woman. It is the fault of some random black woman he does not know and who is dating a non-bm that he feels badly about himself. It’s the same response some black women used to feel when bm started dating non-bw.

    This response, whether by bm or bw, is a waste of time and energy. If you get angry at someone for choosing whoever they chose as a life partner the anger or jealously or envy impoverishes you.

    Ladies, our focus must be on who/what we can control. Namely ourselves. Rather than throw your energy and attention down the cosmic black hole of negativity, why not marshal that energy and create positivity in your own life?

    Peace

    GoldenAh: You’re walking around, window shopping, chilling, and the person behind you keeps screaming at you, “Stop following me!” Hilarious and craaaazzzzeeee. 😀

    Yeah, let’s not get upset. We can let “it” go and relax, ’cause we’re in the winning position.

    You put the icing on the cake with your comment, SouthlandDiva. Thanks. 🙂

  6. Zabeth
    May 8th, 2011 @ 3:26 PM

    I couldn’t get past all of his spelling and grammatical errors. Just couldn’t.

    GoldenAh: LOL. That spewed straight from his mind. 😀

  7. Patricia Kayden
    May 8th, 2011 @ 3:37 PM

    Was this an actual email? Seems so bizarre — with all the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Feel sorry for “the brother”. Needs to take a writing course and learn how to communicate in standard English.

    You’re very good to actually have read through the entire email and composed a response. I would have just deleted it since my brain can’t read Englishese.

    Good luck to the Brian M’s of the world. Many Black women are moving on and marrying whoever they please. We’re not asking for permission from Black men to do what’s in our own interest.

    GoldenAh: This was from another thread. I’ve decided to use it as “Exhibit A” of this particular mindset…. I get these brain fart comments every once in a while and usually mark ’em as spam.

    It’s interesting how much the actions of a stranger (bw they don’t know) could have so much power over these negroes. I just want the ladies to keep it in mind, but NOT TO FEAR IT, or make them pause in their “pursuit of happiness”. ‘Cause you know how much they love to tell us how much no man finds us attractive, and they don’t want us, but somehow wont go away and leave us alone.

    Your comment had me rolling, Patricia. 😀

  8. Beverly
    May 8th, 2011 @ 5:49 PM

    Stop judging us, it’s making us feel bad!

    Stop comparing us to other men, it’s not fair!

    Stop noticing our continued and clear-cut failure as men, let’s talk about institutional racism instead!

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!

    Losers.

    GoldenAh: LOL. That’s it in a nutshell. 😀

  9. vonnie
    May 8th, 2011 @ 8:00 PM

    is english NOT his first language? seriously, that was painful to read. let’s see here:

    “I don’t ANY man should ask another for advise on how to treat 1” that is SUCH a fatherless notion. Most men are groomed by other men on how to be a man and do things. Why wouldn’t someone need mentoring in how to date/marry as well? That’s the damn problem! Maybe more of ya’ll SHOULD ask some damn questions.

    [GoldenAh: You’ve made an excellent point. A lot of these black males do NOT have a father to teach ’em how to be a man. It’s a continuing example of the mess they’ve made of the “black community”. By abandoning their sons they’ve stunted and damaged them.]

    “You act like white don’t do nothing wrong and that they are perfect.” everyone acts like by saying ‘date out, consider other options, vet based on character and not color’ that it means we all think that white men are saviors. that is NOT the message here for anyone who can read more than at a surface/base level.

    “It cracks me up that you that white are more committed to marriage and not ending up in divorce cout. I’ve seen more divorces from white couples then I do most black couples.” maybe from pure numbers? way more white guys marry than black dudes, so if 10000 white men are marrying versus 10 black dudes, DUH you’d see more divorces from white couples. The stats with black women/white men, however, is the strongest and this is from family stats sites: http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/2009/10/moving-on-do-bwwm-marriages-last-and-last-yes-herere-the-research-findings.html

    “White husband/Black wife couples were 44% less likely to divorce than White/White couples” “Black women and White men who choose to intermarry may be selective of an especially high degree of commitment to their relationship that reduces the potential for divorce.“”

    those are stats from the legit site/study so yeah. Most black women who go into interracial relationships are educated and going in with their eyes wide open, so it’s more likely to work than just some willy nilly affair.

    “stop judging stop judging”…my god, stop WHINING! Man up and meet the criteria of everyone else and stop expecting to be graded on a damn curve/scale. it’s really played out.

    GoldenAh: Awesome. Right on, Vonnie. Drop those stats, girl. School ’em on the facts….

    BTW, Happy (belated) Birthday! 😀

  10. Sophisticatedblkwoman
    May 8th, 2011 @ 10:26 PM

    Well said Golden, and a child or should I say baby boy he is indeed. This sista is 100% DIVESTED you won’t catch me marching for these defeated fools.

    GoldenAh: I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s over 30. Scary. 😀



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