The following quote comes from Womanist Musings Blog. She is so on point.
The first love of a Black woman’s life should always be herself. We have been taught to devalue ourselves because this strengthens not only the Black male patriarchy but patriarchy in and of itself. Any man that refuses to treat you like the queen that you are, is not worthy of your love and your respect. This is not a plea for Black women to date outside of their race, this is however, a demand that Black women think critically about the lies that we are being told and who they benefit. Black men will always play an important role in our lives because they are our fathers, sons, and brothers, but they need not play the staring role; that should be reserved for Black women. Whatever choices you make about whom you love are your business because no matter the racial shaming, no one is sleeping in your bed but you.
Please, read the rest at her blog.