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Tips for Today’s Negroes: A Lesson in Manners

Posted on | November 27, 2011 | 67 Comments

Who’s Your Daddy?

Yeah, yeah, I know a lot of you did not have Fathers to teach you how to be a gentleman. And the likelihood is high that your Mothers probably didn’t have the time, inclination, or interest in teaching any of y’all manners. Maybe everybody thought that lil man ShayQuan being rude and obnoxious was cute when you were 5 years old and eventually you’d grow out of it.

Unfortunately, for some of y’all, it never happened. For some reason, your boys on the street or that friendly Mr. Hamilton across town – that old guy who’d slide you a couple dollars every once in a while for your “services” – never bothered to give you a heads-up.

However, as a contemporary negro that loves to tell everyone that you are, “A grown ass man,” here are some worthy tips to show you are one, as opposed to being an overgrown, petulant knucklehead.

These tips are obvious to most well rounded people, but unfortunately common sense is in short supply these days:

Stay Thirsty and Be Anxious to Learn

1. Learn to greet everyone you meet with a, “Good morning,” if the sun is coming up or until around 11:00 A.M. like Micky Ds.

2. Say, “Hello,” for the entire day. Smiling is not necessary, but it is helpful.

3. “How are you?” Is allowed after, “Hello.”

4. If you are asked, “How are you?” Reply with, “I am fine,” or “I am good.” No grammar Nazis here.

5. “Goodnight,” isn’t an invitation to talk more or a hookup. It serves the same purpose as, “Goodbye.”

6. Do not demand that any black woman or black girl, whether you are acquainted or strangers, smile at you. It is harassment. Don’t be proud of it. You don’t know who she knows. πŸ™‚

7.Β  Keep your voice even when you address any woman. Anything louder sounds threatening. Speak with a moderate tone.

8. Hold the door open for all women, children and even other men. Good manners isn’t just a “white” thing.

9. Speak clearly: mumbling makes you sound like a numbskull.

10. Do not treat black women or black girls as though they are easy scores, a potential main squeeze, work place buddy confidant, or source of joking material. Cat calls, nasty comments and hollering at us is not appreciated.

I know a number of us have gotten used to little, if any, kind of common courtesy, as opposed to what you slavishly bestow upon non-black women. However, please keep your contempt to yourself. Non-blacks may appreciate your derogatory “shuck and jive” routine, but a lot of black women do not.

11. You may not believe it, but a lot of us don’t care to exchange more than a few passing words in greeting. That sista who is standing around listening to you is quietly suffering. She doesn’t know how to cut you off, because you’ve made it obvious you’d make her life hell (at the job) if she does.

Truth of the matter is: no one cares about your love life, personal hygiene, lack of money, and endless baby Momma stories. Your life story isn’t nearly as enthralling as you might think.

12. Enough with the jokes. Richard Pryor most likely told all of the best ones. He was funny. You are not.

13. If we seem to be ignoring you – after an initial greeting – let it be forever known: WE ARE NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU. Despite what you read in the black media and the desperate black women who write for them: YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF OUR UNIVERSE.

14. If you would never say it to someone white, then do not say it to a black woman. Please, spare us.

15.Β  Your Momma really is the only woman who will put up with you. So, get over yourself and leave your issues at home.

16. It is not the black woman’s fault, if her job is more demanding than yours. She’s paid her dues. And believe it or not, that didn’t come by sleeping with a “white man”, since most of our bosses are likely to be white women. We went to school and worked while you decided it was better to hang out with LaTrell’monte back in the hood.

17. Your sucky job is not our problem. It’s up to you to solve. I heard there’s plenty of high paying jobs in North Dakota.

Let’s see if you can work with the white men up there with your current attitude, instead of living off of a black woman down here where it’s “safe”. πŸ™‚

Sure, a few bits of the advice listed could apply to some black women. But being out-of-order seems to be a specialty of negroes.

I’m gonna say it again, as I’ve said it before: you are not entitled to special attention or deference from us. Let’s treat one another with respect, be polite in public and take it from there.

If what I wrote doesn’t apply to you, then don’t get upset.

Cheers. πŸ˜€

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67 Responses to “Tips for Today’s Negroes: A Lesson in Manners”

  1. Hodan
    November 27th, 2011 @ 11:05 PM

    lmfoooooooooo, amazing list and should be taught in academic and professional classes for many knuckle heads. Are black men in the State this bad?

    GoldenAh: The thing is, I’m not even talking about the young men out there. I’m talking about fools in their 30’s and 40’s. Truly a pitiful bunch.

    Nice to hear from you, Hodan. πŸ™‚

  2. FourAndThreeQuarters
    November 28th, 2011 @ 12:32 AM

    PREACH, GoldenAh! πŸ™‚

    especially #10,11,12,16 & 17.

    GoldenAh: Yeah, those numbered items point out the common denominator. This kind of behavior could have been nipped in the bud a long time ago. However, the negro apologists out there in the black media, radio / TV, magazines and a couple of sorry websites, keep encouraging black women to feel sorry for an adult that should be capable of managing his own affairs. And he’s left feeling that if he cannot get his act together it’s okay to bully and abuse us.

    I wish I was making this stuff up from experiences several years ago, but this is still going on NOW with OLD BLACK MALES (30s-to-50s). I can tell you throughout my life, I’ve never had a truly serious problem with those between 18 to roughly 28. Maybe it’s the STDs catching up with them, because the worse cases I’ve dealt with have always been with these stupid and nasty OLD BLACK MALES out there.

    Some of these negroes have no SENSE at ALL.

    Thanks for stopping by, FourAndThreeQuarters. πŸ™‚

  3. AmbiVictoria Worldpeacecutie
    November 28th, 2011 @ 12:39 AM

    GOD bless you for writting this very important instruction. I hope it goes viral and is ingraved into the minds of those who need it.

    GoldenAh: I thank you for the kind thoughts. I just want some of these guys to get their act together. Some of them are begging to be buried in the New Jersey Meadowlands. πŸ˜€

    Thanks for stopping by, AmbiVictoria. πŸ™‚

  4. Betty Boo
    November 28th, 2011 @ 2:56 AM

    EXCELLENT,EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT I could not have said it better myself. Some may disagree, but now we need a part 2 telling the sista’s if they would stop letting little ray ray act up as some sort of backwards compensation to make up for the fact they picked a knuclehead for a father we would not have to address this list in many of the situations when they grow up. ( this is ONLY for those to whom it applies). In the list could you please include some manners for the sistahs like when you do work hard to get your promotion, it does not give you permission to shank your black co-workers to “prove” you don’t show favoritism to them (I Have expereinced that quite a few times and here is a more diplomatic way to do it) I worked with an office full of black women for several months and they could use #1-4, 14 also.

    GoldenAh: You got me thinking of some black women who light up like a Christmas tree whenever their white co-workers want to talk to them. It’s like she’s possessed by another person. She can’t say, “Hi,” to you though, right? πŸ˜€

    Mostly, I’ve worked with men. I find women easier to ignore, because they’re usually from other departments. And once you let ’em know you want to be left alone, they don’t come back.

    On the other hand, with some negroes it takes a complaint to HR, possibly a firing, and threats of calling the police to get them gone. I honestly have no idea what’s wrong with them.

    Thanks for the comments, Betty Boo. πŸ˜€

  5. Lorraine
    November 28th, 2011 @ 3:36 AM

    Love love love this and glad to see you back!

    GoldenAh: Thank you, Lorraine. I hope you saw the announcement post I put together about your blog.

  6. MsMellody
    November 28th, 2011 @ 9:05 AM

    Halleluah for Number 6!!!!!!!

    Thank you Betty for that line included there where u said …” you don’t know who she knows!!” is sooooo true.

    This speaks to that social issue that we have talked about, that issue of Bw and black girls being disproportionately harassed on the streets/public because ALL black men know that ANY white girl/woman is most if not MORE likely to “know” someone who could make their life miserable if they ( black men ) were to harass them ( white women/girl ) in public/street.

    As in “know” meaning they have a deep well connected family structure that is in the power majority.

    This list is awesome Betty!!

    GoldenAh: You hit it on the head. White folks almost always know someone that will put them in their place. A lot of these black males assume that we’re either okay with their behavior, or we’ll just shut up and endure it. Heh. Not with me. Not in this lifetime.

    And I’ve seen white women drop everything to go get a cop. These negroes feel we wont do the same. They better recognize times have changed.

    A lot of black women / girls need to realize there are neighborhoods in America where you can walk down a street and no one will harass you. They do exist. The thing is, that’s because there are only a handful of black males living there. It’s an ugly truth. The black guys out in those neighborhoods aren’t thugs. They are hardworking gentlemen who know how behave themselves. They do exist. Unfortunately, they are a tiny tiny group. Hard to find. Sorta like purple unicorns. πŸ™‚

    Hey, I grew up in Brooklyn, NY. Been there. Done that. πŸ˜€

    Great response, MsMellody.

  7. vonnie
    November 28th, 2011 @ 11:17 AM

    the problem is the complete lack of boundaries in “the black community”. folks act way too familiar with any and everybody who may have a skin shade similar to them without thinking that they may not want to be bothered. I don’t know you, don’t approach me any old kind of way, don’t touch me, etc.

    GoldenAh: We’re easy targets. No one cares about us. We are the easiest victims. So bullying us is no big deal. We’re even supposed to be flattered by the rude harassment.

    That’s what I’m talking about: leave me alone, I don’t know you, don’t bother me.

    Great hearing from you, Vonnie! πŸ˜€

  8. Jamila
    November 28th, 2011 @ 8:59 PM

    “Let’s see if you can work with the white men up there with your current attitude, instead of living off of a black woman down here where it’s β€œsafe”.”

    It’s always so amusing to me when a dude has a whole lot of bass in his voice when he’s talking to a black woman but knows to keep his town at an ‘inside’ level when addressing a white coworker or other white person. I figure if you won’t get loud with them, don’t try to get loud with me.

    GoldenAh: Jamila, they’re strutting roosters, full of themselves, and about as bright as one. I had this nonsense happen a few days ago. Knucklehead is this humble, docile negro with white people. Yet, when he sees this black woman that “bass” comes out like he knows me. I don’t know that negro from Adam; certainly don’t want to either. He’s seen me a few times, so whenever he’s walking around with his “owners”, he’s gotta show them what a big “bad ass” boy he is. I ignore him, ’cause people like that want to aggravate a person into responding angrily. But he can go shuck and jive all by himself. He’s a clown.

    Thanks for stopping by! πŸ˜€

  9. Oshun
    November 28th, 2011 @ 11:09 PM

    This list is so true its scary.

    I took a trip to Mexico this month. And it was sickening how night and day my treatment was by the men there. I was actually slightly depressed after I returned. I know there is the whole “machismo” thing with certain Spanish cultures…

    But I was never so pampered and taken care of in my life. I noticed this on my other trips there and this last time it was such a jolt that I felt like I was in the twillight zone.

    It was like despite all the other “stuff” going on – the Mexican national men in this town got your memo personally.

    I don’t know if it was because I was American or what, but at least on a surface level I was treated with so much respect an courtesy. The men were really good at social flirting. They would approach me in public, but it wasn’t crass and the conversation would start concerning something I was doing, or wearing, or the weather.

    My bags were always carried. I was hesitant at first because I was thinking “God don’t let me get robbed”, but it was all good. I was given tons of compliments during the social flirting. Men would always offer help. I had men offering me food – if I said it had been a long time since I had eaten etc. I could go on – it was literally like night and day.

    I like being treated that way. It definitely made me happier. It made me feel attractive, delicate, and gave me a sense of safety.

    If only I could feel that 24/7!

    GoldenAh: That we need to leave the country to be treated like a lady with respect and in a complimentary fashion says it all. We can make money here, have a decent career, but everything else gets thrown out the window. And I’ll say something else: I feel that the black women here who’ve found a decent man are the lucky few. Relationships are hell. It sucks being a black woman in this country looking for a normal, decent man. There. I said it. It’s more taxing than a second job to filter out the nonsense. πŸ˜€

    I don’t care how many relationship books suggest we ain’t looking, how gotta “think like a man”, how many new strategies we gotta try, how many new hobbies we gotta swing – they’re all full of dog poo. American men just aren’t checking for a black woman as a wife. The reason is racism / sexism. We’re required to work extra just to pull even. Frankly, I’m a bit lazy and always tired. I’m no superwoman. However, I believe in the rest of world, where most normal men reside, it may not be that much of a problem.

    If I could go back in time, I’d have left this country and not come back, except to visit every once in a blue moon. It is not worth it to even have five minutes of this aggravating, disrespectful stuff going on. Life would be so sweet if those annoying folks just disappeared… The second most aggravating thing is the willful stupidity of some black women, who act like nothing is wrong. Honestly, unless it’s online with the ladies here, and my good friends, I cannot have an honest conversation and talk to them. I just don’t bother.

    I am so glad you had a fantastic time, Oshun. I know you deserve to be treated right. And I am so familiar with that depressing feeling of wondering, Why I gotta come back to the USA?. I love what I love about this place, but if I could be somewhere else…. πŸ™‚

    One day, I may truly get tired of it and jump ship. πŸ˜€

  10. Daphne
    November 29th, 2011 @ 12:10 AM

    LMAO @ ShayQuan and LaTrell’monte! You are too much.

    About #12 – I was on a different forum, and there was a discussion about how some black women get stuck on a man who can crack wise. I love to laugh, and have a good sense of humor, but I’ve found that men who crack jokes ALL THE TIME usually have little else going on for them. Even professional comedians aren’t “on” when they’re not on stage. And frankly, the jokes are usually at the expense of black women, in my experience. It’s generally not “observational” humor, a la Seinfeld.

    Great post!

    GoldenAh: You know what’s sad? The day he stops being funny. Then there’s this uncomfortable, painful silence, because he doesn’t touch the funnybone anymore. And like you said, there’s nothing else.

    I miss Seinfield. I wish someone would have continued that show, at least with different characters or something.

    Daphne, you know half of those names are real. πŸ˜€



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