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Narcissism for Black Women: The Very Good and Healthy Expression of Deep Self-Love, and Extreme Self-Devotion. Why? Because It's Good For Ya! And Sometimes I Write about Natural Hair, Among Other Things


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When Am I Gonna Write About ‘Black Love’?

Posted on | February 2, 2012 | 15 Comments

One of these days, when I have the time… and it is Black History Month.

Although if folks want to get the ball rolling you may start talking about it. πŸ™‚

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15 Responses to “When Am I Gonna Write About ‘Black Love’?”

  1. trish
    February 2nd, 2012 @ 11:31 PM

    For me black love means loving myself. I have always been interested in marryiing interacially so I don’t think I will have romantic black love. I appreciate my parents “black love” because I would not be hair without it lol.

    GoldenAh: I like this sentiment. I like men. I enjoy them in all flavors of the racial / cultural rainbow. That doesn’t represent self-hate. That’s a wealth of love I’m willing to share. πŸ˜€

  2. trish
    February 2nd, 2012 @ 11:33 PM

    here instead of hair. πŸ™

  3. Oshun
    February 3rd, 2012 @ 7:39 PM

    April Fools is a couple of months away! I appreciate the early prank! πŸ™‚

    GoldenAh: Sort of like Christmas in July. πŸ™‚

    I was searching for something on this topic, but kept drawing a blank. Honest. πŸ˜€

  4. Daphne
    February 4th, 2012 @ 12:28 PM

    LOL @ Oshun’s comment about April Fool’s.

    As for black love…I’ve never understood the obsession with it. At the end of the day, MOST blacks who marry do so with each other, so it’s all around, if you’re looking for it. And in most TV and film productions “targeted” to black people, there are black couples. Maybe I’m lucky enough to have come of age in the 80s and 90s, when the diversity of TV shows with blacks was at its peak, coupled along with knowing and seeing married black couples in my family, including my parents, growing up. Perhaps those are the two factors that determine one’s focus?

    Anyway, I suppose black love to me means that black women and children receiving the love, protection, and devotion that most others receive in the Western world.

    GoldenAh: Oh, great points, Daphne! You got me thinking that this hunger for “Black Love”, the constant demands for it must be by those who miss it, don’t understand it, never had it, and are treating it like an exotic breed that is dying out. And that shouldn’t be the case. It used to be there on every Urban Radio station, on a good TV show with an all-black cast, in higher marriage rates, stable neighborhoods, less domestic violence and child abuse.

    Now-a-days, I’m just hard pressed to think of who’s today’s Teddy Pendergrass, Barry White, Earth Wind and Fire, Commodores, and countless other “Black Love” music groups are. And look at the direction we’re heading in: music videos, TV shows, and movies written and directed by black men who will not even consider black women as romantic love interests. As we know, some of these fools are proud to announce how much they despise “dark skinned” women. Idiots.

    Then there’s the other good point you’ve raised: true “Black Love” involves work, responsibility, commitment, dedication and doing the right thing, not just looking for a feel good movie or song. If “Black Love” truly existed so many black children wouldn’t be going hungry, living in extreme poverty, be the highest number in foster care, or living in homeless shelters with their mothers.

  5. faith
    February 5th, 2012 @ 3:22 AM

    @Daphne The “most” blacks who do marry are a scant 35% maximum since nearly 65% of black males never marry with a near even split between inter and intra racial marriages. Not to mention the quality of these relationships is questionable at best with higher performing bw being guilt-tripped into marrying ex-cons, underemployed, undereducated males because the so-called successful ones want the 1-drop types and have major unresolved issues. Even when they get their desired type there’s problems Look at Heidi and Seal

  6. Daphne
    February 5th, 2012 @ 12:40 PM

    Faith – I’m aware of the numbers of blacks who marry isn’t a majority. As my statement indicated – most blacks who marry do so with each other. That’s still an accurate statement, at least as of 2008, according to a Pew study. I haven’t seen any numbers that indicate black male marriages are 50/50 interracial vs intraracial, so that’s news to me.

    It’s certainly no secret that most blacks don’t marry, period. My perspective was more in response to those looking for “black love” – I perceive there’s plenty of it, if one looks for it. Of course, that’s not counting one’s individual environment.

    That said, I agree with you wholeheartedly on the quality of the marriages. But I assume those who seek out black love aren’t all that concerned with quality – just quantity.

  7. Jamila
    February 6th, 2012 @ 1:10 AM

    “I was searching for something on this topic, but kept drawing a blank. Honest.”

    You took my comment right out of my head and put it on the screen before I got a chance.

    “Black love” was invented in 1972, the same year as “sex”…

    That’s all I got so far.

    GoldenAh: Ah, yes, the golden age. πŸ™‚

  8. lady dat
    February 8th, 2012 @ 4:45 PM

    I’d appreciate ‘black love’ more if black MEN start standing up and putting down c/rappers with their nonsense…how come C. Delores Tucker and Dr.James Dobson had to do so….c/rappers like Cray-Z,(i feel sorry for their daughter, money dont buy everything) Dung Money, Duck, Little Weeeighn,,,etc.it has to come from the MAN..BTW im noticing that women come on putting out pictures of their S/O more than MEN anyway…thanx for letting me rant @XD

    GoldenAh: I think like Oshun said: Don’t hold your breath. These guys are gonna have to be written off like bad debt. I think enough time has gone by that we need to realize that they’re never gonna step up and be men. πŸ™‚

    Thanks for stopping by, Lady Dat.

  9. Oshun
    February 10th, 2012 @ 5:25 PM

    Lady dat

    Don’t hold your breath…

    BM don’t care for a whole host of reasons. Neither does the old guard of the civil rights movement. You have to remember that some distinguished black professor (gag/snark) believe that it is in BMs nature to be misogynistic and have stated so publicly to the white folks.

    Then there are BW of varying ages who will literally become a living sacrifice to spare BM the consequences of their actions.

    So there you go…

  10. Tiffany
    February 10th, 2012 @ 10:46 PM

    Why would you write about dead and dying stuff for? Let the dead bury their dead; meanwhile, write about something that is alive and has substance.

    GoldenAh: Tiffany, good point. I was trying to be nice, though. πŸ™‚



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