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What’s On Your Mind? Mine Is Rather Blank

Posted on | April 3, 2012 | 128 Comments

This is a free range post, so don’t expect too much coherence. πŸ™‚

News With No Opinion

I don’t watch the evening news. I read selective items online such as: local Weather, Technology, Health, Sports (at least when J-Lin was playing with the Knicks), Politics, Business, Economics, and hopefully stuff that wont irritate and annoy me.

One of the reasons you do not find me writing a comment about many of the latest news stories is that I realize by the third week, a lot of initial “facts” change. And even after that, sometimes it’s best to remain silent. What I say wont bring anybody back, alter government policy or reality, and unless I’m looking to make a point – my policy is to have no opinion on the matter(s).

Does that mean I don’t care? I care about my personal issue(s), my personal life and while I wish I could be affected by things people assume would affect me, I know they wont. It’s a long winded way of saying I don’t share the victim mentality that being black makes me less than, weak, a sorry excuse for a human being, powerless and unable to change. I cannot do the impossible, but I’ll try. And that starts with how I think about myself. That is the only thing I have the most control over: me.

Does that mean I don’t issue an opinion in other forums? Sometimes I’ll have some thoughts relating to a piece of the overall picture, but I’m unable to offer a solution. I don’t believe in group related solutions. Everyone’s situation is different. Everyone absorbs information differently. One person’s candor is another person’s insult. You know how it is sometimes, you wonder if people can comprehend English, because their understanding strays so far from the writer’s obvious intent. And then you realize these intelligent people are being deliberately obtuse. I used to troll. It was fun back in the day. So I get it.

Life’s Little Changes

I hope I’m wrong, but I’ve got an uneasy feeling coming over me. Maybe that’s how Spring is – one day it’s warm, next day Tornadoes are busting out all over.

So, I’m in a contemplative mood. My cat, who was only 12 years old, got ill – so quickly – and I had to take him to the vet. I lost something dear to me last week. I was surprised by the depths of my sorrow. I’m not the most emotional person around. I don’t mean stoic or long suffering. I wisecrack and laugh like everyone else, but I don’t let things bother me (like a lot of people seem to over topics online – I really could not care less). I’m not a huggy-kissy kind of woman, well, unless it’s with my man, otherwise… So I like who and what I like. I can only truly be bothered by friend and family matters, which are up close and personal.

Do I miss my little mongrel? Sure. I also had to take into account how much room I made for that animal in my life. I regarded my feline as a person. My family and friends would always inquire about my cat (long after meeting him). He was a true character. And I learned how to be patient with him. I learned how to look after someone other than myself (I am very selfish and not afraid to admit it). I’ve also learned that if I don’t succeed the first time, come back in a minute to try again. I made sure he was always comfortable, never went hungry, never went cold, and spoiled him rotten. πŸ™‚

He was very entertaining too:

– Whenever I was going to feed him, I’d say, “Eat”. And he’d jump out of the chair and run into the kitchen.
– He used to fetch little balls of paper after I tossed them for him to swat away.
– He used to follow me everywhere around the house, walking next to me like he had a leash on.
– If he wanted my attention, he’d get up on his hind legs, and while I’m sitting at the table, hold onto the table with one paw and tap me with the other.
– I’d say, “Come on” to leave a room. He’d follow.
– I’d say, “Stop that” or “No.” If he was doing something that irritated me. He would stop.
– I’d say, “Get out.” He liked to follow me into the bathroom. He would leave.

Maybe everybody’s cat did this. I had cats as a kid, but never one like this little fellow.

Would I get another cat? No. I like them, but when you’ve had one with such unique characteristics, you have to let that one be the last. And frankly, I don’t have the energy to invest in another one. A pet can take a lot out of a person. I’m a one-track kind of individual. I’m envious of people who can juggle multiple threads of their lives in the air, I’m not able to do that. And I accept that about myself.

RIP Buddy. I thank God for letting you into my life and teaching me so much. πŸ™‚

 

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128 Responses to “What’s On Your Mind? Mine Is Rather Blank”

  1. Faith
    April 4th, 2012 @ 2:54 PM

    I’m sorry about Buddy. I’ve lost animal friends and it can be just as devastating as losing our human friends and family.

    Sometimes it’s best to sit back and be quiet than reactionary.

    A few things on my mind these days:

    1. The blacks who got upset over Mary J Blige’s Burger King commercial but as usual say zip about the (c)rappers and their moral decay/BW bashing/use of the N-word

    2. No real discussion about the ramifications of blacks making George Zimmerman “white” to satisfy the knee-jerk reactions. Also, still holding on to this inaccurate “people of color” group-think when those ‘people’ are some of the most anti-black racists out there!

    This isn’t over by a long shot.

    3. I wish the Sheryl Underwoods/Sherri Shepard types were not the go-to representation of BW on these daytime shows. Their foolishness lingers.

    4. I’d like to see if more of us could potentially do some things offline. Since the collective is done, it would be great if the few unindoctrinated amongst us who’ve been reliable and loyal might be able to do some real network building.

    5. Is this all a really bad dream and we’re in the Matrix?

    GoldenAh: I saw some topics on Facebook about MJB. Haven’t seen the ad, and didn’t really read the details. If they’re complaining about Mary selling Burgers then folks have too much time on their hands. It cannot be that bad. And you’re right about their selective outrage.

    If Zimmerman was named Rodriguez, I don’t think or maybe I suspect the outrage wouldn’t be quite the same. I saw a clip of the video with him being brought to the station and I expected a pale skinned guy. He’s sorta “dark”. I wonder what his Mother looks like; she must be brown skinned.

    I remember a few years back there was an execution style killing in a Newark playground of black teens by a Latino guy (I forgot if he acted alone). Yes, he got arrested, but the outrage seem rather muffled because of the issue you mention – that “people of color” fiction. Honestly, I think that “people of color” stuff is so black males can chase non-black women by making them “colored”. That way they can hoodwink black women (who shouldn’t care but do) into not getting upset about who black men elevate over them. So when he goes after a non-black woman, these black women will say, “She’s not white!”, and other stupid things. “People of color” gets us nowhere. They all want to be white, and they want solidarity as “people of color” when it’s time to use us, but certainly not as respected allies. Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have allies among any and all groups: I’m all for it when it’s totally beneficial and reciprocal.

    Every sidekick to a “pretty” little skinny white woman must be a heavyset, loud, and ridiculous black woman. If we happen to say that’s the case, and would like to see some variety – like the white woman be the obnoxious fat sidekick and the black woman be the “pretty” little skinny thing – some people play obtuse and pretend that “We be hating.” Oh, well. Whatever….

    I hear what you are saying about offline networking, ’cause I told BWMM at one point, if you have really good ideas, don’t ever put them in any forum online. No one hesitates to steal, esp. from black women. I have ideas for TV shows, but I have no intention of ever mentioning them, since I have no interest in making shows or movies.

    Honestly, after 9/11 happened, I can see where the TV show Fringe is coming from. I often wonder if this is an alternative universe or something. Will I wake up and everything be okay again?

    Wow, I said quite a bit. That could’ve been another blog post. πŸ™‚

    Thanks for your condolences and stopping by, Faith. πŸ˜€

  2. Mikey Tandino
    April 4th, 2012 @ 4:22 PM

    Oh no. I am so sorry to hear about your wonderful cat Buddy passing. I have an awesome little furball as well so I know how attached you become and how much you enjoy seeing them everyday.

    My mom is amazing and while she has her flaws, has been very BWE before there was even a term for it. She preaches that you do not need a man, self confidence and absolute truth. This is just a public shout from basically an anonymous source, giving thanks because she raised me and my siblings to be confident, free thinking, adventurous, industrious and to remember her motto which is to have a back-up to your back-up, not let anyone take advantage of you and know how to handle your business. Also, get and keep documentation.

    I am sick of the fake fervor and uproar over Trayvon Martin. No one ever has anything to say unless its a white perpetrator – Black male victim. Its so fake and the feigned indignance is astounding.

    I am also dating the cutest guy. Hes sweet. I will break my two year moratorium on sex with him. He happens to be White. He tells me all the time how pretty and intelligent I am. Its refreshing. The guy I dated before him was Cuban and he always called me cute. I hate being called cute. I’m quite stunning, so cute is such a diminishing word to me. Babies are cute, little animals are cute. Grown ass women are not cute.

    Thats just it for now. I mean, I went for it since you said we could ramble and all.

    GoldenAh: I don’t know how people can say cats don’t show affection. When they adore you it’s hard to miss. They roll around on the floor when you come home, they’ll wind around your legs, or they try to climb you, and they can even lick your face like a dog. The signs are there. And they are so much fun when they are playing. Lemme stop before I talk myself into getting another one… πŸ™‚

    It is so wonderful to have a supportive Mother or Father. There were times (and still are) when I have no will to do somethings, and I get a lot of encouragement from her, even my Father too. It’s the greatest gift in the world. Props to your Mother for being such a rock for you.

    I had someone try to give me one of those “We’re all T. Martin” comment. I shut her down. I didn’t want to hear it. I want that kind of black woman to tell me when are black women going to be able to walk around “our” neighborhoods late at night without fear of harassment or being attacked. ‘Cause we certainly ain’t safe from the “brothas” living there; not even in broad daylight.

    Glad to hear you have someone that makes you happy, Mikey. Everything tastes sweeter, doesn’t it? πŸ™‚

    Thank you very much for stopping by.

  3. mochachoc
    April 4th, 2012 @ 4:58 PM

    I’m so sorry you lost your friend.

    Sadly, my 17year old cat (Ursula) died on Monday of kidney failure. I am stunned by my feelings of loss. I’ve started dreaming about her now and have the urge to get another cat. You are right. Pets are a huge responsibility which take up a lot of time. This will be the first time in my life that I do not have one. Not sure I want to do it all again. We’ll see.

    All the best.

    GoldenAh: I went to 2 vets and they didn’t know what was wrong with him. He wasn’t eating, and he used to be a cat with an enormous appetite. Eating was his favorite hobby. He’d come after me if I didn’t feed him when he was HUNGRY!! πŸ˜€

    Sorry about your cat, Ursula. That was a good long time you had her. I only wish I had more years with my little friend, but these things happen. {{Sigh}} I tell myself he’s sleeping somewhere in the house when I start to feel sad.

    Yeah, another potential decade or two is quite a bit of time to devote to a cat or dog.

    Thanks for your thoughts, Mochachoc. πŸ™‚

  4. Oshun
    April 4th, 2012 @ 11:43 PM

    Hi Betty,

    So sorry to hear about your loss. I have a 14 yo kitty and I hate to even hear/think about things like this. My heart goes out to you.

    GoldenAh: Thank you, Oshun. I appreciate your warm thoughts. πŸ™‚

  5. Faith
    April 5th, 2012 @ 2:36 AM

    Fringe is such a freaky show. When Fox moved its schedule and put it on hiatus I stopped watching, but I’ve been meaning to catch up.

    Here’s a Salon article re: Zimmerman
    http://www.salon.com/2012/04/04/conservatives_baffled_at_idea_of_white_hispanic_people/singleton/

    GoldenAh: When they showed the alt universe with the twin towers still standing, I was like, “Love that. I get it. I feel the same.” Unfortunately, after that, Fringe became a mess. I don’t know what’s going on with it. I suspect they took the storyline out too far and they’re trying to walk it back by doing some version of time travel. Not working. And I dislike contrived romances between two characters who totally lack any sort of *spark*. There’s more chemistry between Astrid and crazy Dr Bishop or Peter than Olivia with any man on the show.

    Interesting salon article. And Ruben Navarrette doesn’t like “white Hispanic” either. I’m reminded of the movie, The Rose Tattoo with Burt Lancaster. The most shocking words I heard came from the lips of a Sicilian woman when she called a Southern woman, “You white people.” I was like, “Say what?” Old old time films are really fascinating. I noticed they sometimes described criminals by complexion and not race.

    Everything old is new again. Maybe folks should go by complexion for a better description and leave the race ideas alone.

  6. Eva
    April 5th, 2012 @ 1:40 PM

    I’m so sorry you lost your cat. My mom found a cat on the street in 1990, she lived with her for 14 years, the cat was 16 when she died; and when she died, my mom said she couldn’t get another cat. I agree. Mom had had 3 cats, but this one got under our skin; I mean Mom even traveled with her every summer. So I do know what you mean.

    GoldenAh: There’s always that one cat. I don’t want to creep anyone out, but it’s like they possess the soul of someone. I can see why people believe in reincarnation at times. We had like 3 to 4 cats and one dog when I was a kid. All the cats were stupid, I mean STUPID, until the last one who was something special.

    I tried again as an adult with Buddy and got lucky. πŸ™‚

    Thanks for your thoughts and chiming in, Eva. It’s very much appreciated.

  7. mochachoc
    April 5th, 2012 @ 3:57 PM

    If I do decide to get another cat I’m going to only ever give it raw food. I discovered my cat loved raw heart, eggs and olive oil too late in the day. Her order of preference was raw meat esp offal, cooked real food, Sweedish and German tinned food, and then dry food. From my reading; dry cat food is damaging to their kidneys in the long term. And some argue that the notion it helps to clean their teeth is questionable because most cats just crack the dry food enough to wolf it down. I know Ursula did. Raw heart gave her jaws a good work out.

    It is curious two vets couldn’t diagnose Buddy. I wonder if there was an infection.

    GoldenAh: I gave him canned and dry foods, along with raw meat once in a while. He ate everything, even tiny bits of cake. πŸ™‚

    The first vet gave me medication and he seemed to get better. She thought he might have had an infection too, but she wasn’t sure what was wrong and he had a thorough blood test done. Then when he really got bad, I took him to another one – referred by the first vet – she looked him over tested his blood and couldn’t figure out what the problem was either. By then he was nearly gone. It just happened so fast. I thought it was weird they couldn’t identify what it was either…. It was a shock, he had never been sick before. I took him for regular checkups.

    We are so vulnerable when it comes to pet food supply. I still think of that contaminated crap that killed a lot of pets because the food came from China.

  8. SouthlandDiva
    April 5th, 2012 @ 4:32 PM

    Hi G,

    Sorry to hear about your buddy.

    I understand what you mean about not really having anything to say or at least nothing I feel of great value in relation to topical issues.

    I am meditating on the attention being paid to people who are not married or people who live alone…more positively known as single. I understand the term single has negative connotations historically, but with the growth of this demographic world-wide, I think the negative connotation is on the way out.

    I don’t guess I’ll do a post in your house, however, just thought I’d drop by and say hello.

    Peace

    GoldenAh: Oh, you could expound on your thoughts and link back to your blog if you want. I really like when we write on a similar topic, but take different perspectives.

    Now that you mention singles: that demographic is close to, if not already, outnumbering married couples. It’s hard to be roommates. And I admit that I’ve never had any. Ever. Except if I travel with a group, we gotta share a cabin or room, then it’s hell for me. I always need space.

    I would like singles to be respected as bachelors or bachelorettes – allowed to enjoy life without pressure, speculation, ridicule or viewed as social misfits. If we (as black women) do find someone, it should not be treated as though it is a result of desperation, loneliness or lack of self-esteem. Nor should a man be held up as the prize at all costs. I like the approach of being with a man who we’ve discovered is the right fit for us. Cause I know there’s only a thin slice of the male population I could get along with or would want to.

    Really great hearing from you, SouthlandDiva. Thank you for stopping by. πŸ™‚

  9. Monique
    April 6th, 2012 @ 11:30 AM

    So sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. I have a kitty he’s about 11 now and he truly is the sweetest thing. I try not to think about how much I’ll miss him should he pass away. He’s my constant companion. I love him dearly and I share your loss.

    Some things on my mind:

    1. Watched Scandal with Kerry Washington, wasn’t quite blown away, but I’ll reserve judgment until I see a few more episodes.

    2. cringing at the thought of think like a man opening in theaters and having black folk act like it’s the second coming of christ, or something

    3. Not understanding how people eat Doritoes and pepsi for breakfast and feed it to their children and then wonder why there is an obesity problem within the black community. I have a novel idea stop feeding your kids Doritos and pepsi in the morning.

    4. trying to strategize taking my neice to Europe next year (she’s 9).

    that’s about it for now .

    GoldenAh: Well, I hope your cat lives another 11 years, it’s possible these days. And thank you, Monique, for your kind thoughts about Buddy.

    I subscribed to Scandal on Hulu, so when I get the time I’ll catch up. I should be able to do it late Sunday night or Monday.

    Ah, TLAM is coming out soon. Weird, I thought it did already. You know if that does well expect to see plenty of copy cat flicks, with each one being successively worse.

    I don’t drink soda anymore – it gave me acid reflux and chest pains. I don’t know how people can drink the stuff. It’s very corrosive, let alone being sugar toxic. Some people can handle a lot of sugar, but it makes me feel sickly and lethargic.

    Ah, that is great thinking about taking your niece to Europe. Awesome. I love museums, castles and old churches. That’s mostly all I go looking for.

  10. Truth P.
    April 7th, 2012 @ 3:59 PM

    I’m sorry to hear about your baby.I know how it feels to lose something you love.I lost my dog,hit by a car,years ago and its still upsetting to this day.

    GoldenAh: Thank you for your condolences, Truth P. I know what you mean, just when I think I’m okay, a wave of sadness still hits me out of nowhere. I need to launch into operation “Get Busy” so I don’t wallow in it. πŸ™‚



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