Black Women and Asian Men: K-Pop Video with Jay Park Makes History

Posted on | July 29, 2012 | 29 Comments

Sorta continuing the BW / AM theme…

The following link is an article from oneasianworld.com: Mauika Hicks makes K-Pop history by being the love interest and lead dancer for Jay Park (he’s American of Korean descent).

Some excerpts – the rest you’ll have to read at their site. It’s quite an informative interview.

Paulette: How does it feel to be the first African-American female lead dancer and love interest in a Kpop (Korean pop) music video (MV)?

Mauika Hicks: It’s such an honor and blessing. I’ve received so many positive messages from young African-American girls and people from all races telling me how much I have inspired them. To inspire people is all I could ever ask for. I feel so proud to be a part of history in a sense.

Paulette: When you got the part, were you aware that you broke the glass ceiling for a black woman to be in a Kpop MV?

MH: Not really. It came as quite a shock.

And this …

Paulette: Jay Park is a pretty big star. He was the lead singer in 2PM, opened for Ne-Yo, performed with MusiqSoulChild, just finished his first sold-out U.S. tour, appeared in a couple of films and the list goes on. Were you familiar with his work before being cast in the MV?

MH: I didn’t know Jay before the video. Once I booked the job, I did a little research online and realized just how big of a star he is!

Paulette: You and Jay have this amazing, off the chain chemistry in the MV. How was it working with Jay?

MH: Thank you! It was very easy working with Jay. He was very down to earth and hands-on in every aspect of the video. Sometimes it can be a challenge working with artists, but not with Jay. He was very professional and just amazing to work with!

Mauika Hicks appears at the 2:07 mark.

He’s Famous And Fearlessly Included a BW

You know how it goes in the US, when someone wants to eventually become famous – they put a couple of black faces in their videos or music. When that success has been achieved, we’re the first faces gone. Everything fades to white.

I wanted to highlight something about Jay Park: he’s already a big star. Yet, he didn’t shy away from bringing a BW into his music video – even in Korea (a country not known for embracing or being a multicultural society, obviously). He didn’t use any “scare away the fans” excuse for excluding a BW, unlike some of the hypocrites and phonies over here would.

Good on him.

Remember, Hollywood and the American Media loves to claim that our black faces will make people – around the entire world! – avoid their crappola media content if we’re front and center.

Call bull dung on it. It is their bigotry at work, not the international folks. And people will always criticize the content – that’s a given.

Last Note: How White Women Roll

We have a famous actor – from Europe – being stalked by crazy white supremacist women (along with those horseface online and print magazine editors). He dares to publicly be in a relationship with a black woman, while he is incredibly hot and rich. It is not happening before he’s famous, and he’s not hiding her like a dirty secret either.

And I bet it will not affect his career one whit.

He’s being criticized by these same Neo-Nazi bitches who will chime in “love is colorblind” on every IR forum, but only if the chick is a white woman. Otherwise, they will wonder what’s wrong with the guy, denigrate the black woman’s looks and basically go bonkers. Because every man must find them attractive, or the world is off-kilter.

Always remember these are the same people who run the media. That’s why you rarely see uplifting images of black women in a positive, attractive and alluring manner, because these people want it that way.

***

Links relating to this topic are welcome.

***

One Asian World Interview – First Black Woman as Love Interest

Comments

29 Responses to “Black Women and Asian Men: K-Pop Video with Jay Park Makes History”

Black Women and Asian Men: K-Pop Video with Jay Park Makes … | Agents Taobao
July 29th, 2012 @ 2:54 PM

[...] Black Women and Asian Men: K-Pop Video with Jay Park Makes … © 2012 Agents [...]
Faith
July 29th, 2012 @ 6:16 PM

This is great. Something beyond mere symbolism. Thanks for sharing. And I know you’re referencing Fassbender, so here’s a link to a German interview where’s he’s asked about Nicole (unlike the US media)and he replies he’s “lovesick” haha! http://www.fassinatingfassbender.com/2012/07/michael-fassbender-german-instyle.html

GoldenAh: Seriously though – thank you – because if you hadn’t mentioned the Fassbender situation(s), I wouldn’t have known, since I don’t follow that stuff. And it made me so angry. I wish more men like him – would come out to a red carpet event all at once with their black women – just so we could watch those hater’s heads explode.

They need to be told over and over again that they are racist / sexist / jealous bigots. They need to be called out over and over again. And then the advertisers of these online / print magazines need to be asked what kind of sickness and hatred they are supporting, ’cause I’m done with this kind of garbage.

I don’t know how I found the Jay Park story. Google and chrome works wonders sometimes.
Shia
July 29th, 2012 @ 11:29 PM

Those blogs and media sites that claim to love Fassbender went silent when the first pictures of him with Nicole came out. LOL! I would love to see Fassbender marry Nicole or continue to date more black women and have those women lose their minds.

“He’s being criticized by these same Neo-Nazi bitches who will chime in “love is colorblind” on every IR forum, but only if the chick is a white woman. Otherwise, they will wonder what’s wrong with the guy, denigrate the black woman’s looks and basically go bonkers. Because every man must find them attractive, or the world is off-kilter.”

^^^This completely! I use to think that white women like that ate up too much of the worship the “pro-IR only for black men” brigade fed to them and actually believed that they are the best women around. But if they were they truly believed then they wouldn’t have to block positive images of black women in the media because it wouldn’t matter either way. But of course, their insecurity shows itself fully when men like Fassbender come along.

What I also love about Jay Park is that if he wanted to return to Korea for his solo career or just rebuild himself in general after having a scandal, he could have played it safe and hired a Korean or Asian girl for the video. Picking her made me a bigger fan of him than when he was in 2PM.

GoldenAh: Props to Jay Park indeed. I first heard of Jay Park a few years back. Someone may have mentioned him here when there was a post about K-Pop. I thought this was cute. He’s dancing Beyonce’s “single ladies” with a BW, and doing better than her at it. Amusing.

With the Fassbender situation, I feel like this happened with Gerald Butler… Maybe he was misunderstood, but the minute he said “black women” in one sentence – I feel like the guy got browbeat by the League of Insecure Jealous Racist White Women. Never forgot that.

…And Matthew McConaughey got caught hanging outside Janet Jackson’s hotel room – the media showed them talking – and they wouldn’t leave that man alone. He was another one that liked black women, but I mean it’s like he ran out of the country (to Brazil) just to get away from the media and the assorted nutjobs.

That’s why when black women ask why black men with white women continue to insult them, they need to look at his mate. He’s doing it for the white woman’s benefit, ’cause a secure and happy couple would go about their business and stop sh*t stirring up black women.

Thanks for stopping by, Shia.
Patricia Kayden
July 30th, 2012 @ 11:20 AM

Didn’t know that Fassbender was being harangued by White women for his decision to date Beharie. Didn’t know they could be jealous of us lowly Black women. Why would they care? Aren’t they the most beautiful, desirable, deserving of love women God ever created? (Yes, I’m being sarcastic!).

I guess they’ll dance for joy if he moves on to a White woman. Or they’ll do like most Black women and not worry about “their men” dating out.

GoldenAh: Nearly everything the media puts out is devoted to white women, and one guy dating the woman he loves sends them off the deep end. It’s beyond greedy and gross. That kind of ugliness is a bone deep sin. And people got a frigging nerve to continually accuse us of being jealous of black men with white women. It’s a bizarre fantasy. So many “famous” black male entertainers have white and other women that it’s hard to recognize the “black media” that is supposed to be just about us.

If we have to accept IRR with BM / WW and every other BM / other woman combo, then these white women are gonna have to sit down somewhere and smell the coffee. White men have been the biggest devotees of IRR – above all other men – since forever.

Thank you for your comments, Patricia.
Formavitaeformavitae
July 30th, 2012 @ 2:18 PM

Thanks for sharing the video. I’m glad to see she is a good shade of brown and not selected to “blend in”.

Tthanks for the article reference, Faith. It’s nice to see an AA woman being publicly valued. If only more people had the courage to take a stand. This bigotry would have no choice but to fail.

GoldenAh: Yes! She’s the two-black parents black woman we need to see more of. And I’m not apologizing for saying that. I hate trying to guess what someone is, knowing they’re playing this bi-racial and mixed folks game with us. I’m not calling for the exclusion of mixed people, but I want the two-black parents black women to stay upfront and center. No replacements.
samadhi101
July 30th, 2012 @ 11:44 PM

“And people got a frigging nerve to continually accuse us of being jealous of black men with white women. It’s a bizarre fantasy.”

Hi GoldenAh!

A bizarre fantasy indeed but I guess if I too suffered from a massive superiority complex I’d constantly feel need to tell everyone how special I was. I was thinking since prehistoric times, humans have feared anything dark, especially anything feminine and dark. When you look back at old religions, they obsessively focused on keeping deities , especially females, light skinned. Whiter skin, of course, symbolized purity and evidence of the divine *eyeroll* It’s embarrassing that after 3000 years people are still upholding the beliefs of primitive people who thought the sun died every time it set.
Ok, I know we’re supposed to emulate whiter skinned women but when you apply cold hard facts to the notion, whiter skinned women didn’t advance civilization, their men did. The women didn’t have real power or even think about becoming innovators within any field for the most part. They were perfectly content (and still are) in being decoration. Think about it: Darker women are told to emulate lighter women whose only function is/was decoration. I really do the obsession with having a lighter complexion has slowed the progress of women as a whole. I don’t know,maybe its cause I’m a 90′s kid: it’s been drilled into my head that “if you dream it, you can do it!” and the “think big!” message has drilled into my head. I can’t imagine maintaining an ultimately USELESS status quo. BW are in the best position (maybe we’ve always been) since we’ve never directly benefitted from the status quo, we can create our own standards that involve THINKING and EVOLVING . Since white female privilege goes unchallenged, I’ve always thought feminism and “the love is color blind” for BM/non-BW only message has always been bs. Both are against thinking, evolving and are all about maintaining the status quo. I used to be weary of IRR in general since it was always focused on the suffering of WW/non-BW at the hands of the “de evil BW”. The whole thing was always about keeping WW on a pedestal and giving other WOC a chance to feel like WW, in relation BW that is *eyeroll*.
Good for Mauicka Hicks and Jay! With the manilla folder test well in place here the US, its nice to see her talents were appreciated elsewhere. Its been awhile since I’ve seen an obviously BW in any hip hop video.

GoldenAh: You’ve used the perfect word, “challenging”, because people who think they are slick would try to shut down the discussion with accusations of jealousy. When the reality is – if black men are celebrated for just being dark-skinned, why are black women left out of that equation? If white women are celebrated for just being pale skinned, how is it that it doesn’t negatively affect white men? We have to celebrate ourselves, embrace ourselves, and uplift ourselves. And that means not being afraid of saying once in a while, “How dark and lovely she is / I am” without people demanding we look at lighter complexions and say something just as complimentary. We live with hearing “beautiful blond” endlessly, and don’t create a ruckus over that shopworn expression.

I think that we get labeled as “strong black women”, because that is all – what too many of us celebrate – being just that. Well, it’s time to grab womanhood, femininity, and being the ultimate woman and claim it as ours. I’m not interested in being “diverse” or sharing that platform with other women, ’cause they certainly don’t worry about us. Right? Folks only like you if you like yourself.

And yes, Ms Hicks is very pretty.

Great comments, Samadhi101.
Simone
July 31st, 2012 @ 6:13 AM

Hello Ladies, I see that you have mentioned Michael Fassbender and his female preference. Here is a quote from Michael that I think you’ll enjoy:

“Physically, I am attracted to darker women. I’m not gonna lie. To me I personally find them beautiful”. – Michael Fassbender

GoldenAh: Awesome. Good on him! That’s as valid as if he said, “I love blue-eyed blonds”, ’cause we know no one would see anything wrong with him saying that.

He’s got great taste.

Thanks for the input, Simone.
Mikey Tandino
August 1st, 2012 @ 11:17 AM

They running scared. This “we is da hottest wimmins ever” routine is getting old and tired. Like most of their faces after 25.

These media outlets only exist to affirm and support their questionable beauty so that even the ones at lower end of the pretty and talented scale can still get married. If it wasnt for the media pumping everyone full of this crap that white womens are sooo beautiful, those trainwrecks wouldnt stand a chance.

And this my peoples is why the whole thing with Fassbender scares them. Since he publicly jumped ship as it were, they are nervous as to who might be next.

Its a case of “the lady doth protest too much, methinks”. Just because they say we are not beautiful and they are, completely does not make it so. This is, as all as others said, their insecurity showing.

They cant come for me. I know I’m the business.

GoldenAh: “Jump ship”. LOL. Love that.

White men who run the media are very fair to black men and a scattering of other groups of men. I mean we could see a movie where Samuel L. Jackson wears a kilt or Morgan Freeman is allowed to play a Moor in a historical flick. A black guy is almost always the stick-by-his-side best buddy of the white cop in nearly every police drama. And I’m fascinated (horrified actually) at the lengths these shows will go to ignore his wife and kids – as if he’s a black pod person with no parents, siblings or other relatives.

Yeah, they can stop telling us Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Aniston and some other bleached blond man-face chicks are beautiful. It diminishes the word.
belleafrique
August 2nd, 2012 @ 5:03 AM

The images seen in the media are very powerful. I always wonder why the best hollywood roles are usually given to average looking white women. Not the drop-dead-gorgeous white women. Just the average, typical looking ww.

I realized that whether it is intended to or not, such a strategy ensures their collective survival and prosperity by ensuring that the average, typical ww is seen as desirable and marriageable. See if the average, typical ww is seen as desirable and marriageable then she and her offspring are likely to be protected and provided for.

Meanwhile, positive portrayals of black women in the media are few, and when they do appear they just don’t look like the average,typical black woman. The hair, skin tone or even eye color usually does not look anything like that of the average, typical bw.

On a different (but not totally unrelated) note, black people watch Gabby Douglas perform so beautifully at the olympics and then obsess about her HAIR? Seriously???
I don’t know what ‘do’ she has on but I wonder what difference does it make?

http://www.thebwebloggersphere.com/2012/08/01/plantation-negros-arise-again/

GoldenAh: It’s because WW demand it too, as we should too. Even though Star Trek (the reboot with Zoe Saldana and crew) was a monster success, the League of Insecure Jealous Racist White Women complained that there weren’t enough “women” in the movie. What was Zoe then? Star Trek was always a bunch of guys with one black woman in space… Hello?

The film even had a green woman (who was obviously white) given a lot of screen time. I can think of tons of movies where there’s like one – maybe two if they’re lucky – leading white woman and you don’t hear a peep out of these wenches. They complained, because they do NOT want Zoe to be the main female attraction.

Belleafrique, what you added ties in directly to this topic – media images of black women. Gabby is what (on average) a lot of us look like, and not even black people could handle seeing her on TV. It has to be years since we saw a young black woman take center stage like that…. I bet her haters wished she looked like Beyonce – lighter with a ten-pound weave on, then they would be satisfied. ‘Cause black people’s color struck madness has become the norm.
samadhi101
August 2nd, 2012 @ 2:47 PM

belleafrique: The images seen in the media are very powerful. I always wonder why the best hollywood roles are usually given to average looking white women. Not the drop-dead-gorgeous white women. Just the average, typical looking ww.

So true! The writer will then explain to us over and over again why the character is so “perfect” lol This is has backfired though because a LARGE number of white fans are sick and tired of Mary Sue characters. Look into any huge fandom (Twilight, Doctor Who, average romantic comedies etc.) the female character that is worshipped by fans is ALWAYS white, average and never has to prove to the audience why we should like her (the writer fullfills that role lol) Woe to anyone who tries to point out any character flaws ! Be prepared to be accused of sexism or racism lol I always wondered why the video Sh*t White Girls Say garnered such fury from WW. I mean BW are unoriginally mocked on YT constantly that we have no choice but to ignore (or flag lol) the bs but that video warranted an entire segment on Anderson Cooper because it hurt their feelings and it cast the silly ones in a bad light. Really now!

GoldenAh: Excellent observation about Twilight and some of those other programs!

I think that’s why I get turned off when a show that starts off interesting will suddenly have ALL kinds of men become attracted to the below-average-looking-uninteresting white female lead.

I cannot watch anything with Kristen Stewart. I was going to see Snow White and the Huntsman, until I realize her blank-non-acting-self was starring in it. And I don’t believe for a moment, that’s she’s ever been in a real relationship with Robert Patterson – it’s all a PR stunt. That she’s sleeping with the director(s)? Yes, that I can truly believe. ‘Cause I can see that’s how she gets work.

I’ve seen links on Facebook relating to SWGS, but I thought it was just for snorts and giggles. And WW had their feelings hurt? Really? They better toughen up, and expect more of it in the future. Everyone gets their butt busted on the Internets at some time or the other.
Formavitae
August 2nd, 2012 @ 4:09 PM

@Goldenah

“No replacements.”

WORD.
Formavitae
August 2nd, 2012 @ 4:11 PM

@samadhi101

See, I never even watched that “Sh*t WG say” vid, because I just typically skip over that genre of vids PERIOD. But, now, I’m going to go look it up and see what they’re getting all “bent out of shape” about.

There must be some truth to it.

Lol!
Formavitae
August 2nd, 2012 @ 4:18 PM

@ Patricia K

Charlize T basically threw it at him publicly, onstage, during some film ceremony of some sort (I just don’t follow those things–never had). She more or less spoke of his “manhood”, in front of the entire audience, and told him she was available to work with that “ANYTIME”. So far, he hasn’t taken the bait.

LOL!

GoldenAh: She’s starting to remind me of Sharon Stone. The problem for some of them is that men probably don’t really want a woman like that. These women go through the typical classic media promo: OMG, she’s so BLOND and BEAUTIFUL – all men want her – she can throw it at ANY man at ANY time and he’ll want her.

The truth is, of course they’ll get hit on, or push it in some guy’s face, but men are simple creatures. They’re probably thinking: high maintenance, annoying attitude, she’s not going to look any better without makeup in the morning, it’s the same female body like any other with the same holes – so big deal, and rich ego driven men don’t want a woman to outshine them. If they’re going for a trophy – they want a hot woman, but no one that famous.

Sharon ended up with an old director and some other guy – when she was still the Ice Queen, but AFAIK, there’s no one now.

Charlize was very condescending to Viola Davis over how she should regard herself or her career in Hollywood. She cut Viola off, because she didn’t want her to talk about the difficulties of her getting cast. At heart, she’s like most of these white female supremacists, if she’s not the sole center of attention, nothing and no one else matters. Not her fault really, that’s the way the West spoiled her. She can only pretend to be sympathetic and “enlightened” Hollywood style.

But she’ll never ask to have a BW co-star. Well, maybe at least not until she gets old and TPTB stop looking at her. They only worry about diversity when they’re old, dried up and no one will cast them in anything. So, she’ll share Viola’s pain at some point.
Formavitae
August 2nd, 2012 @ 4:23 PM

@samadhi101

“The whole thing was always about keeping WW on a pedestal and giving other WOC a chance to feel like WW, in relation BW that is”

EXACTLY. Great insight!
Formavitae
August 2nd, 2012 @ 4:26 PM

@Goldenah

“Well, it’s time to grab womanhood, femininity, and being the ultimate woman and claim it as ours. I’m not interested in being “diverse” or sharing that platform with other women, ’cause they certainly don’t worry about us. Right? Folks only like you if you like yourself.”

I AGREE.
Bellydancer
August 3rd, 2012 @ 1:07 PM

GoldenAh: ” Yes! She’s the two-black parents black woman we need to see more of. And I’m not apologizing for saying that. I hate trying to guess what someone is, knowing they’re playing this bi-racial and mixed folks game with us. I’m not calling for the exclusion of mixed people, but I want the two-black parents black women to stay upfront and center. No replacements.”

Not sure where this is going perhaps a separate thread on it.

GoldenAh: My next post will probably be open topic, since I sense people have other subjects they want to chat about. I wish I could create separate posts and move the comments, but I don’t think WordPress allows that.
Andrea
August 3rd, 2012 @ 4:40 PM

I had never seen Jay Park before. He’s a hottie! I can see why he’s so popular. It’s great that he has done what many BM singers will not, these days: Hire a BW for a music video.

It’s so ironic. I doubt there are many, if any, BW in Korea, yet a Korean pop star hires a BW as his love interest in his music video. That’s terrific!

I am surprised that WW are going so hard at Michael Fassbender. They usually want to maintain plausible deniability, if you know what I mean. Lol.

Charlize Theron coming on to MF isn’t much of a surprise. She strikes me as being the type of woman who thinks that every man should want her. Sometimes, even I get surprised by large number of WW (that I actually know) who think this way. And 99% of them aren’t even pretty! LOL.

GoldenAh: Statistically, we probably can count on our hands the number of black women in Korea and have a few digits to spare. Yet, as you say, they can include us. I’ve watched KDramas with black people (American and African) in them. It is a few words here and there, but it is interesting to see.

Based on interviews and YouTube clips, I suspect Jay Park is very strong willed.

Yeah, and when the men talk to you instead of them, they are shocked, stunned, dazed and confused. They cannot stand to be ignored by men. The self-delusion is staggering.
Andrea
August 3rd, 2012 @ 5:01 PM

” Yes! She’s the two-black parents black woman we need to see more of. And I’m not apologizing for saying that. I hate trying to guess what someone is, knowing they’re playing this bi-racial and mixed folks game with us. I’m not calling for the exclusion of mixed people, but I want the two-black parents black women to stay upfront and center. No replacements.”
~GoldenAh

This I co-sign 100%. There are so many mixed and even light skinned with two black parents BW who just refuse to see that by not standing up for our darker skinned sisters they are supporting White supremacy. I don’t understand how they can be so stupid.

I am a light skinned Black woman with a White husband, yet I am capable of understanding that my future children’s (and their children’s) lives will be diminished by the absence of positive, unmistakably Black women in the media. And these other light-skinned chicks who want to pretend that the criticism of Hollyweird’s White supremacist agenda is a diss against them get on my last nerve! How stupid can a person be?

Do they not realize that once it is acceptable to use (recently) mixed women in roles that should go to unmistakably Black BW, that they will then use WW to replace them in roles that should go to mixed women, just like they use to?

I wish someone would find a cure for being an idiot.

GoldenAh: It happened to Lena Horne. She thought she was going to be cast as Cleopatra (or something on that level), and the studios called her to their makeup room. They were checking her skin tone, matching foundations, and she asked, “Why?” They responded it was to make sure that the white actress – the star of the movie – would be her complexion. Obviously, Lena figured out the role wasn’t going to her.

This may not compare, but I look at how Anne Curry was treated versus Robin Roberts. For years, I thought Anne Curry was a biracial / mixed race / sorta black woman. And I wondered how many black women she was used to replace or keep out. I’m not accusing her of anything. I like her a lot, but I thought of how there was an absence of black women when she was around on a particular show. Wasn’t it interesting too, how for her news stories they were sending her off to Africa?

That’s what I mean by the media playing a racial game with us. She admitted in interviews she wasn’t black / African American, but how many people would find that out unless they researched or cared to know? And because Anne Curry had no actual “peeps” to rally around her, the minute the ratings dipped – she got blamed and canned.

On the other hand, contrast that treatment with Robin Roberts, who seemingly can interview the Prez whenever he needs to chat. She gets lots of love (deservedly so) and support. She’s unambiguously black, and I know people like her regardless of race, but I feel ABC wouldn’t risk dissing her, because she has peeps (us) to support her.

I suspect that’s why some groups want it both ways: be mixed, biracial, a special kind of black – disassociate from the masses when it is convenient – be viewed as the “replacement” black, but whenever they need help, get us (mostly BW) to do the heavy political lifting. Sorta like Prof. Gates (Mr 50% plus white), married to a white woman, but talk loud and black when assistance is needed (bad example, but sorta analogous).

And you are right, Andrea, once the whitewashing starts, everybody gets cut out.
Formavitae
August 4th, 2012 @ 2:39 PM

@Goldenah

What do “AFAIK” and “TPTB” stand for? And, yes. She did cut Viola off. BW are never allowed to have any attention. It’s always centered on THEM. I think CT is attractive, so I’ve wondered what her “issues” are, since she never seems to have a man.

Perplexed.

Lol!

GoldenAh: Sorry. I get carried away with abbreviations: TPTB - the powers that be, and AFAIK - as far as I know.

She is beautiful, but that’s not enough, is it?
Formavitae
August 4th, 2012 @ 2:57 PM

@Andrea

WW have this idea that they are ALL so irresistible, because men of color place treat them so. A WM will shut down a WW and put her “in her place” in a minute, if he deems it necessary. A man of color will “worship” a WW, no matter how trashy or ridiculous she is. I think this is why so many WW bash WM. Otherwise, why would you bash someone who elevates, protects, and provides for you? WW just don’t want to be held to any standards. That’s why I don’t support the “No Slut-Shaming” movement. I’m not a fool. You want to sleep around like a prostitute but receive the respect of a virgin. PLEASE. Self-control takes HARD WORK and a lot of discipline. If you want honor, EARN IT (that goes for men too).

And, mixed BW are already being replaced by whites like Angelina (who I LOVE, btw). I feel to a degree we’re being replaced by Hispanics. (nothing against “black” Latinas, but THE LABEL COUNTS. ). But, hey. It will be just like the situation with BM abandoning BW for non-BW. They accuse darker women of “jealousy”, until they start being noticeably rejected for non-BW. Then, they’ll start complaining too. They’re just holding on to the vestiges of the pedestal they were placed on years ago. It’s going away. BTW, I realize my statements do not apply too ALL white, mixed, nonblack, light-skinned women. They certainly don’t apply to the light-skinned or mixed women in my family.
Andrea
August 5th, 2012 @ 11:07 AM

@GoldenAh
What happened to Anne Curry made me sick to my stomach. NBC puts one craptastic show after another on their prime-time schedule and when this affects the ratings of the morning show they blame her? They know good and well that most people watch in the morning whatever is on the last station they watched before bed. And for most folks these days that is not NBC. Their fault, no hers. They need to stop producing crap!

And you’re right about her not having any peeps to stand up for her. Anne is half Japanese and half White, and neither side (as we all know) considers anyone not 100% their ethnicity that ethnicity, so she was a convenient scapegoat.

Frankly, I believe NBC would have used any non-White person as a scapegoat for their Today ratings issue. Have you seen or heard about that commercial they showed after Gabby Douglas won the Gold? Somehow, I was not surprised that NBC would do this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1iUSARF_v4

@Formavitae
Yes, I have had many a WW claim that WM do not know how to “appreciate a good woman” and that I would be “better off with a brotha”. LOL. Some have even used the word “worship” to describe their relationship with BM. Worship does not belong in a healthy, viable relationship, but I guess that’s not the kind of relationship that they want.

Not coincidentally, BM who can’t stand seeing BW with WM will claim that we worship WM simply because we are married to or dating one. *eye roll* Projection is a terrible thing.

And yes, sluts should be shamed! I call men who sleep around sluts too, and I don’t want either gender sitting on my furniture. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. Sluts are nasty! Years ago, one of my aunts found crabs on her loveseat after a slutty friend of hers sat on it. Can you imagine? Ewwwww.

GoldenAh: I hear you about Anne Curry. I wonder who Matt Lauer knows. Maybe it’s just the sexism / racism of the media business at work. Al Roker is still there, and Sue Simmons (who is a local NBC-NY anchor and who I remember watching as a child!) recently retired. If you have peeps at NBC, you can hang around awhile. Even the situation with Gabby – people shut her haters down. Although I think the media shouldn’t have covered the situation at all. I think that made her stumble at the end.

I don’t have a TV, I saw clips of interviews at work, but otherwise, I didn’t pay too much attention to the controversy. Although I saw a lot of commentary about it on Facebook, which I skim read.

The only people I truly find disturbing are smelly folks who refuse to brush their teeth or bathe but want to get up in your personal space. If they don’t feel shame, I don’t anyone else will. We certainly have a (more) shameless society today. It’s celebrated. Heck, since the days of Hester Prynne we know shaming doesn’t work. And anyone walking about with a nest of crabs in their crotch is mentally ill….
belleafrique
August 5th, 2012 @ 1:54 PM

I don’t blame ww for insisting that average looking white female characters be portrayed as goddesses by the media.

They are just being smart.

Meanwhile, bw are busy bending over backwards trying to include other women who don’t bother to include them.

And mixed women who don’t see that colorism hurts them too are just plain stupid. Seriously stupid.

Yes you get some (relative) privilege but at the end of the day if the average, typical bw is typecast as undesirable, then all bw – including the very light ones – will suffer the consequences. No exceptions.

GoldenAh: Yeah, I don’t mind if WW are advocates for themselves. That’s logical. It’s when WW are extremely exclusionary (racist) – everything is just for them and no one else, because they are the ONLY women around – that I have a problem with them. White men have made room for black / Asian / Latino male actors in many TV shows / movies, the white woman is a given (she’s always there), but somehow this has turned into the exclusion of black women – like in Red Tails, any superhero movie, all those Fast Furious flicks, etc.

I truly hear you on the BW including everybody mantra. That irks me too. It’s like we’re afraid to have this focus – via entertainment – where we talk about ourselves to ourselves. This sort of reminds me of how we’re always called on to be the cannon fodder / marching foot soldiers for everybody’s agenda but our own. It’s amusing how “ride and die” black women are for other groups. The blindness is amazing. A lot of us seem incapable or don’t know we can and should be advocates for ourselves. It is self-hatred that causes this?

I wonder if black female progressives ever notice that the hierarchy they support does not differ from what they perceive the conservative hierarchy to be? After all it’s only the sex partners that differ (sometimes).

I’d like to start with: any role that casts the BW as negative, she can stay, but another (with the same complexion) must be cast as positive on the same show. Balance is required.

Excellent points, Belleafrique.
FoxyCleopatra
August 9th, 2012 @ 10:37 AM

“They running scared. This “we is da hottest wimmins ever” routine is getting old and tired. Like most of their faces after 25.”

Roflmbao!! Mikey u always crack me up!

GoldenAh: She still has me laughing over “Cheestastic” to describe BradyWayne.
FoxyCleopatra
August 9th, 2012 @ 11:17 AM

GoldenAh said ‘I suspect that’s why some groups want it both ways: be mixed, biracial, a special kind of black – disassociate from the masses when it is convenient – be viewed as the “replacement” black, but whenever they need help, get us (mostly BW) to do the heavy political lifting. Sorta like Prof. Gates (Mr 50% plus white), married to a white woman, but talk loud and black when assistance is needed (bad example, but sorta analogous).

And you are right, Andrea, once the whitewashing starts, everybody gets cut out. ‘

Foxycleopatra: I completely agree with you on this. I remember when Angelina Jolie was cast in A Mighty Heart and brown make up was put on her skin and her hair curled to make her look my like Marianne Pearl who was Afro-cuban. Black ppl complained. However, I noticed that most mixed pple were saying ‘what’s wrong with it?’ Afterall the woman is as white as she is black. I saw right through that bs. A lot of the biracial ppl supporting it were too short sighted to see that they were digging their own graves. Very soon the way that biracial women are used to erase black women out of the media, ww will be used to do the same to biracial women. Mixed ppl in general are delusional if they think they will be able to stop it once it gets into full force. I remember on the snl skit were some wm was cast to play Barack Obama. When black ppl complained, the white tv producers began to say that well the actor who played him had som asian in him and was also 1/8 south american and 1/587 this or that. However, he did not have a drop of black blood. I was telling the bp I knew to stop complaining about it. If black biracial ppl were fine with being ‘whited’ out of the media, let it be their problem. I then pointed out that the actress who was cast as Michelle was Maya rudolph. A biracial actress herself who in the movie ‘Bridesmaid’ could pass for something else. Although there are several biracial actresses who I like and who’s careers I support, I will never support black actresses suffering due to colourism, skin shade or racial-admixture racism. I could not care less if anyone accuses me of hating. I just point out to them that when it is done to biracial actresses in favour of white actresses, it is not seen as ‘hating’ to call it out as racism. However, when it is done to black actresses in favour of biracil actresses, it becomes ‘hating’. Once they see that I don’t fall for that bait and switch of the ‘yous jus jellus’ mess, they soon stfu.

GoldenAh: The critical thing is: are bi-racials (with 1 black parent) used to replace white women? No. Bi-racials are only used to replace black women (with the two black parents). So the question is, why are they calling themselves bi-racial if they are viewed as black by whites (and everybody else)? I’d say this new categorization of bi-racial is just a way to put another level in the racial hierarchy. Another group to put above black women. It’s ridiculous, because there are very few black people in the Western Hemisphere, with ancestry that’s been here for generations, that doesn’t have European / other blood.

Now, people can call themselves whatever they want. It doesn’t matter to me. They are free to do as they please. I’m not about keeping anyone out of anything. But black women cannot and should not be replaced by anybody who doesn’t have two black parents. I heard they made Harriet Tubman a bi-racial in that Lincoln Vampire flick. I mean, come on!

I’m all for advocating black – dark brown chocolate complexioned – women for leading roles, ’cause the whitewashing is in full effect these days. There’s really nothing to watch these days.
Andrea
August 13th, 2012 @ 9:06 PM

“I heard they made Harriet Tubman a bi-racial in that Lincoln Vampire flick. I mean, come on!”
~GoldenAh

She is not even bi-racial. Her father is African American (mixed) and her mother is White. So she’s not even of half African blood, and Harriet Tubman was said to be of pure blood.

There are a ton of actresses that would have been a better fit for that role, especially since they (apparently) wanted a foreigner. If they wanted someone with sex appeal, they could have hired Omotola Jalade. She’s gorgeous, talented and West African –just like our African ancestors.

GoldenAh: They whitewashed her that much? Dannng. Imagine how these people would have lost their minds if Marilyn Monroe, Betsy Ross or Martha Washington was portrayed as having a black grandmother or mother. And was shown as being a bit darker than tan. Heh.

So, I’m thinking when I do movie / TV reviews in the future, and I wanted to list only 2 black parent actresses, would I be able to find anyone? I always included bi-racials, mixed, and a hint of black blood ’cause I know 2 black parent actresses are almost completely shut out. And we (collective BW) don’t really say a word, because folks got us pinned down by tagging BW as jealous, haters, etc. But I notice that the media keeps the “brothas” deep dark chocolate.

I can’t even think of any biracial / mixed dudes getting any work except for that guy on Criminal Minds (is that still on?) and Burn Notice (Jesse).
FoxyCleopatra
August 14th, 2012 @ 6:03 AM

GoldenAh: The critical thing is: are bi-racials (with 1 black parent) used to replace white women? No. Bi-racials are only used to replace black women (with the two black parents). So the question is, why are they calling themselves bi-racial if they are viewed as black by whites (and everybody else)? I’d say this new categorization of bi-racial is just a way to put another level in the racial hierarchy. Another group to put above black women. It’s ridiculous, because there are very few black people in the Western Hemisphere, with ancestry that’s been here for generations, that doesn’t have European / other blood.

FoxyCleopatra: Personally, as far as I am concerned, whatever label or categorisation biracials want to give themselves is nothing I consider to be my business. There are a million and one other things I would rather think about. After all, I have heard quite a few of them even advocating being called terms that are derogatory to mixed pple, as long as it meant that they didn’t have to be called ‘black’. So as far as I am concerned, biracial pple with that sort of mentality can kick rocks for all I care. My issue however is their opportunistic lack of consistency. They’ll be on the whole ‘don’t you dare call me black’, but then when time comes to benefit, they will be happy to fall in line and say ‘but I’m black too, just like you’. When they get called out on it, they’ll say, ‘but black pple in the west are all mixed to some degree, no one is 100% black’. Since that is the case, why give yourself a new label indicating multi-raciality in the first place then?

I remember on khadija’s blog (MuslimBushido) where this same issue was being discussed and a commenter gave the following analogy which I believe was spot on (I’ve rephrased it a bit based on what I remember):

You’ve got someone who’s father’s surname is Smith and their mother’s maiden name is Hank. In most cultures, this person is going to be referred to as a Smith. However this person says “I AM NOT A SMITH”, “DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME A SMITH” and instead calls themself a Hank-Smith. They feel there is no benefit to their being a Smith, but there is to their being a Hank, but since they may not be able to get away with calling themselves a Hank, they stick with Hank-Smith, however, they are delighted anytime they are referred to as a Hank. Now anytime this person is referred to as a Smith, they take offense and insist that they are not a Smith. So eventually, its gotten round and everyone now knows that they do not want to be seen or identified as Smiths. So when the Smith family is sharing their fortune and it is stipulated that it is only for those who are Smiths, this ‘don’t you dare call me a Smith’ then comes to take their share of the Smith fortune and begins to cry foul and unfair when they find out they haven’t been included in the sharing…since they were not Smiths. This person in a bid to get a share then begins to cry “but I’m a Smith too, just like you, I’m a Smith too”. At the same time, when the Hanks are splitting their fortune, they give none to this person as they never regarded them as a Hank in the first place.

GoldenAh: Excellent points, FoxyCleopatra. Couldn’t have said it better. That example is on point.
Andrea
August 14th, 2012 @ 2:47 PM

@FoxyCleopatra
That’s a great analogy. I really do need to read more of Muslim Bushido. Another blogger recommended it to me.

I sometimes wonder if this type of thinking is regional. I know many “bi-racial” people, including family members, and all of them consider themselves Black/African American. I have cousins who look 100% White but consider themselves Black, so I was pretty amazed to discover that their were obviously part Black people who didn’t want to acknowledge what was obvious.

I have only come across the “don’t call me Black” variety online. And only a few of those. The folks I know IRL resent being lumped in with the anti-Black variety (Tiger Woods for example) and having to prove their Blackness to other AAs.

GoldenAh: Khadija is an excellent writer. She adds references to her posts providing additional detail. It takes a lot of work to do that – at least for me it would be, and it adds so much depth to her essays. I think she still adds a note or two to her other blog.
BWMM
August 20th, 2012 @ 10:43 AM

“Yeah, and when the men talk to you instead of them, they are shocked, stunned, dazed and confused. They cannot stand to be ignored by men. The self-delusion is staggering.”

Saw a clip of a reality TV series where I think 3 or 4 women are hanging out. The black woman of the group recognizes MF and he comes and talks to the women. Of course she isn’t like OMG that’s MF. One of the women was like oh I guess he likes chocolate then!. She tried to say it in a humorous tone, but seriously.

GoldenAh: Too many commercials and TV shows have them thinking they are the only women around.
BWMM
August 20th, 2012 @ 11:09 AM

“If they wanted someone with sex appeal, they could have hired Omotola Jalade. She’s gorgeous, talented and West African –just like our African ancestors.”

Or Stephanie O
Ini Edo

There are so many actresses that they could have cast it’s ridiculous.

Hollywood has no excuse.

GoldenAh: And that’s why write about how they suck so badly…