BETTY CHAMBERS

Narcissism for Black Women: The Very Good and Healthy Expression of Deep Self-Love, and Extreme Self-Devotion. Why? Because It's Good For Ya! And Sometimes I Write about Natural Hair, Among Other Things


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Open Forum: The Floor is Yours – Olympics, National News, etc.

Posted on | August 5, 2012 | 94 Comments

I’ll come back later and write more…

I sense folks want to talk about many different subjects.

Links as usual are welcome.

Feel free.

Happy Sunday. 😀

***

Added: Thursday, August 9, 2012

Olympics

Apparently, U.S. gymnast McKayla Maroney didn’t win a gold medal. Hence the scowl. Check the tumblr site satirizing her. Wee bit funny.

So, who is Lolo Jones and what was the hype all about?

The media has 2 memes: their chosen “winners” – the Maria Sharapova types, and then there are others who have to prove themselves and win a la Gabby Douglas. One gets the money upfront for having a certain “look”, the other has to break world records to get some cheddar.

Douglas was part of a US Olympic squad that hadn’t won a gold since 1996. She won gold in the all-around, becoming the first gymnast in American history to win the gold medal in both the team and all-around.

She had to earn it first to get the fame and money, but you know how it is. It’s alright though.

She has the best attitude.

Grabbed this image from – blackyouthproject.com – hope they don’t mind.

… And is the Olympics over with yet? Seems endless at this point. Should be a couple of sports, not judged by people, but scored by time and points only. Would be over within 3 days or less.

Serena and Venus Williams Continue to Break Records

No surprise there. They play tennis so fierce, they make it look easy. Soon they’ll have enough medals, trophies and awards to fill a museum.

They have four gold medals each, more than any other tennis player in Olympic history. If they can come back and get more, no one else will ever touch their record(s).

You go girls.

Message For Black Girls and Women

Get out of Blackistan. You cannot succeed or achieve your dreams surrounded by toxic people. The only folks you need are familial or reliable Gladiators. Serena and Venus had a Gladiator in their dad. I hope the people around Gabby Douglas step up and fill in that role. Young black women need more protection from the vampires out there. She, and others like herself, still need more time to mature before they get exposed to the “real world.” She’s just a teen, not a young adult. There’s a time and place for the interviews, social media and  face-time with the blood and soul suckers.

To become successful, join the mainstream, and find a safe haven. That means integrating with the rest of society. Social, environment and emotional segregation is a dead-end.

Focus. Don’t let the haters distract you, or you wont be able to get the gold. In this case, literally. I think a number of US failed just because of the distractions. Part of the battle will always be mental.

Your mind must go there first, before your body follows.

Don’t be afraid to dream big. And don’t tell certain people your plans – unless you are looking to be talked out of it.

Sometimes it’s best to do your thing and not talk about it first (or at all). It’s like waiting for permission. You shouldn’t give that kind of control of your life to anyone. They don’t deserve it.

Spike the ball. It’s okay to gloat once you’ve done your thing. Bragging is the best revenge. Yes?

Humility has it’s time and place. Sometimes you need to rub it in people’s faces just how awesome you are.

 

Serena Celebrates – got this image from – ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com. Hope they don’t mind.

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Comments

94 Responses to “Open Forum: The Floor is Yours – Olympics, National News, etc.”

  1. Emma
    August 6th, 2012 @ 11:14 AM

    I was jubilant for Serena and Venus. It was nice to see the crowd appreciation and love. I’ve been watching Wimby forever and usually it’s a stuffy affair. The Olympic crowd have been fanatastic. Even Andy Murray’s win had me delighted (I don’t care too much for him). As I’m of Jamaican heritage I was equally jubilant over the you know what win. The games here have been wonderful. London can be proud. Can’t say hosting the games has inconvenienced me too much. Traffic hasn’t been a nightmare. BBC coverage has been exceptional and it’s nice to watch free of any advertising.

    I’ll be glad when the summer of sport is over though. Not sure I’ll have the energy to watch the paraolympics (which is a shame. Maybe they should hold them at the same time).

    GoldenAh: Hello Emma! {{waving}} It’s been years since I’ve been to the UK. I promised myself that I’d visit Scotland. London is a perfect place for the Olympics. I don’t think there’s an inch of the country that doesn’t have public transportation or a good cabbie that cannot take a person to their destination.

    The Olympics is an interesting affair. Although I’m not crazy about it, it’s far better than all these wars and fighting going on all over the world. Would be better if problems were resolved in that manner.

    Thanks for stopping by, Emma, glad to hear the local scene on the ground from across the pond. 😀

    … Also wanted to add that Usain Bolt is incredible and amazing.

  2. RogsRolbowL
    August 6th, 2012 @ 9:16 PM

    GoldenAh: This ended up in my spam filter. I like Led Zeppelin, so I let it go through as to remind myself to get some of these song eventually.

    Led Zeppelin – The Very Best Of
    Tracks: 13+10 | Year: 2003
    Genre: Rock, Metal

    CD1
    01 good times gone bad 02:46
    02 babe im gonna leave you 06:42
    03 dazed and confused 06:27
    04 communication breakdown 02:28
    05 whole lotta love 05:34
    06 what is and what should never be 04:44
    07 immigrant song 02:27
    08 since ive been loving you 07:24
    09 black dog 04:55
    10 rock and roll 03:40
    11 the battle of the evermore 05:52
    12 when the levee breaks 07:10
    13 stairway to heaven 08:02

    CD 2
    01 the song remains the same 05:31
    02 no quater 07:00
    03 houses of the holy 04:03
    04 trampled underfoot 05:36
    05 kashmir 08:29
    06 ten years gone 06:32
    07 achilles last stand 10:23
    08 nobodys fault but mine 06:18
    09 all my love 05:52
    10 in the evening 06:51

  3. Truth P.
    August 6th, 2012 @ 10:15 PM

    First I have been lurking a while.I just wanted to say Hello Betty,wish you well,and thank you for blogging.*smiles 🙂 and waves*

    I don’t really do sports so the Olympics didn’t matter very much to me.Glad it’s over.I am happy for all those who made it to the Olympics and for those who won as well.I’m glad they made their goals.I really enjoy seeing the behind the scenes footage of the prep work and all it took the athletes to make it to the Olympics.
    I actually prefer it to watching the actual games.It’s very inspiring.

    Though I don’t even watch football,I kinda wish that the Olympics had American football competition.I think that would be neat to watch football teams all over the world competing.We’d probably win easily.Well maybe not,I heard Volleyball originated in America and someone told me our men’s team got their butts kicked so…

    I was thinking about the questions “when is enough enough?” and “At what point have we really done all that we can?” It seems like very simply questions, but so many people have difficulty either calling it quits,not giving up soon enough,or not giving up at all.Many different situations arise and I’m stuck asking myself these questions.I don’t want to fail myself or anybody else.Sometimes failure in one small area can cause a domino effect leading to something really bad happening.Which is what I fear.
    So I ask for wisdom from God and seek it else where so that I don’t fail.I also ask for peace of mind because worrying about it can be so tiring.

    GoldenAh: Hello Truth P, great to hear from you. 😀

    I could see the Australians, Canadians and Eastern Europeans giving us a run for our money in football. Maybe the Samoans too. That would be interesting to watch.

    I have the same thoughts about failure and fear, Truth P. Trust me, you are not alone. And I realize we’re the kind of ladies who think deeply about our lives and decisions we make. Analysis can lead to paralysis. I’ve decided to try to loosen the leash I keep on myself, because I realize I have to hurt some people’s feeling (this is offline stuff) to get things done. Otherwise, I am in for a world of hurt. And because some of these interlopers aren’t feeding me, waking me up in the morning, taking me to work or taking care of business for me – I cannot bother myself about them. If I’m seen as mean, stuck up or ruthless, so-be-it, because they aren’t worth a fired neuron. I thank them for recognizing that if I need to, I’ll go for the jugular. Folks don’t respect you until you hurt them, sad to say.

    Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and you will become unburdened by fear, worry, and guilt. {{hugs}}

    So, take good care of yourself. 😀

  4. JK
    August 7th, 2012 @ 10:58 PM

    Banned from the barbershop

    Hair is in my blood (and a few other places I won’t mention).  My family owned a beauty and barbershop.  It was operated by my grandmother and her brothers.  In fact, my first residence in life was an apartment over that shop.  When hanging around there as a little girl,  it was my chore to “sweep up” all the discarded hair in the beauty shop. 

    So I sit here stunned today that my two year old son is at the barbershop for his first professional haircut w/o me present to watch (and comfort).  My husband insisted on cutting our son’s hair himself up until now.  

    Per the old (black) wives tale, we waited the obligatory one year after birth b4 cutting it.

    We’ve endured the cuts at home for a year bc my husband says he never went to the barbershop–his dad cut his hair at home.  When he recently decided to consider the barbershop for the little one, I jumped at the chance.  Despite his best efforts, daddy’s haircuts didn’t look as great as a barbers’ (although the results of the barber remained to be seen by me).

    As I sat home taking in this bittersweet milestone, I realized that maybe this is the way it should be.  The barbershop was men’s business–a place for fathers and sons, not mommys.  Black women, for various reasons, have taken on many of the roles which were intended for black men.  

    My son is an extreme mama’s boy. 
    Recently, when I couldn’t take his whining I decided to teach him a mantra.  I ask him, “what are you going to be?” He replies, “Be a man.” I reply, “No whining.”
    As I reflected on being left out of the barbershop experience, I was comforted by a fact I knew deep in my soul.  For him to be a man, he needs to see a man, up close and personal.  I thank God for giving me the good sense to marry a great one, in spite of the poor examples I saw growing up. 

    If I had been at the haircut, my son would have played on my emotions and really turned up the drama–possibly getting hurt for lack for being still while somebody put a sharp, electrical device to his head.
    Without me there, being in the presence of his father and the barber, he would be forced to Man Up.  He needed the opposite of what my presence would have engendered. 

    As I thought back to my childhood, I didn’t recall seeing women in the barbershop nor was I asked to “sweep up” over there.  It was the late 70s and discretionary income was not a phrase known to working class blacks, especially in the South.  I assume many dads (like my wonderful father-in-law) opted to cut their sons’ hair at home.  If a boy did go to the barbershop, he went when his father went.  On the rare times when a mom took her son to our shop, she would come over to the beauty shop side with the ladies to wait.  I guess it was not considered “proper” for a lady to be in an all male environment.  The men were left to be men.  This is probably why I was never asked/told to sweep up on that side of the shop.  (I saw my uncles sweep when that was needed.  They had just cut the hair which was on the floor and thus making their place of business look untidy.  They made the mess, so they cleaned it up).  

    When I worked in the child support courts in the early 2000s  I noticed an interesting phenomenon–other than people giving their children jacked up names.  Many of the men who came in with multiple baby-mamas were barbers.  I asked some other court personnel about it and they said that the barbers get to meet many women when they (the moms) bring their boys in for haircuts.  So in the oow 2000s, we have mass fatherlessness–there’s no man to cut his sons’ hair at home or take the son to the barbershop with him.  So mom and barber make plans to hookup while Dequan is getting his haircut.  (I suspect this is another reason why back in the 70s men took their sons.  What man would want his woman hanging around such a testosterone-infused place like a barbershop?  Why tempt human nature?)

    I’m happy to report that my son’s haircut went well.  There  was crying of course, but no drama or injury.  I was glad my husband and son got to experience the moment together and without me present.  I’m thankful there will be many more. 

    I discovered your site about 9 months ago and love it.  I’ve told lots of black women about it and what I’ve learned on it.  It pains me to see my fellow professional bw holding out, past their child bearing years, for the black man on the white horse.   Or worse yet, settling for a dbr because they think that’s the only variety black ones come in. 

    I  am married to a purple unicorn.
    He is a MAN, A great husband and even better father to our children. Unfortunately it has taken me too long to realize this due to the dysfunctional relationships I saw growing up.  

    I wholeheartedly support your IR movement and believe the seed needs to be planted in young black girls at an early age.   As a girl growing up in the South in the 70s,  I never considered marriage to anyone other than a black man as an option.  I did however make a decision early on to live a single life rather than subject myself to the type of black men that the women in my family did.   

    I am thrilled whenever the media portrays black women in healthy relationships with men who do not look like us.  We need to cement this idea as an option to young black girls when they are in the Cinderella/princess phase.  (Actually, the Whitney Houston/Brandy version of Cinderella shows IR relationships favorable to black women).

    Thank you for your site.  I appreciate that you and those who comment actually provide Thoughtful analysis of the state of black women and children.   May God Bless you All

    GoldenAh: Hello, JK. What a pleasure it is to hear from you! And I love your contribution, brings back memories for me. My older brother would always cut his son’s hair himself. I don’t think he ever took him to the barber. That was his boy – no one was going to touch his head. My nephew grew into a fine young man. I agree that a special bonding occurs with the hair cutting ritual between father and son. As toddlers, both my nephews were very attached to their dads: it was an amusing revelation.

    We need strong and stable families. Black women especially need able men, in mind and body, regardless of color. We cannot have healthy communities without the family. That comes first.

    Thank you for you thoughts JK, don’t hesitate to add more. Your comments are welcome. 😀 

  5. Mikey Tandino
    August 8th, 2012 @ 3:15 PM

    Im not even sure if this JK person is real or trying their hand at short story fiction. Majority of those elements sound extracted from other BWE bloggers from years past. Could totally be a coincidence. I mean, why give your post a title?

    I am interested in how the media we purchase now is going to be saved once the technology its viewed/used on becomes obsolete. So you have your Kindle, Nook, whatever. You have X amount of books stored on there, they stop with that sort of technology. Now what?

    Do you start this process all over again with the new medium?

    Or do you buck this new e-trend and stick to books?

    And does no one see that America is bending over backwards for our future overlords the Hispanics? I personally dont agree that they should all be over here all willy nilly w/o going through the proper channels. It doesnt help me that they are here.

    In fact its made dining in New York sort of analogous as in the same Mexican folks are cooking every type of cuisine. Its all bound to run together.

    I also which people would pick a country in Africa and use that as a frame of reference. I get so tired of hearing people refer to Africa as if its a country or a state. Im not heavily invested in this, it just irks me to no end.

    GoldenAh: I liked JK’s contribution. If she does decide to write more, I’d appreciate it. I found it rather poignant and touching.

    Per technology, I think everything still needs to be printed and / or saved onto another medium. I have so many old formats – old floppies and tapes – that came and went – I never got the chance to use! I wonder where all of this stuff we write gets saved. Even backups of this stuff goes into some mysterious data cloud. I was going to buy a Kindle, but my friend reminded me that Amazon could grab a book back if they wanted. I don’t like that.

    I do want an iPad, Tablet or perhaps a bigger cellphone. I feel frustrated with my tiny cellphone during the day, and there’s so much writing I need to do. I simply don’t have enough time anymore. {{frustrated sigh}}

    There are a lot of Spanish people in a couple of towns near where I live, but I have to say they behave themselves and stay low-key. Maybe in some other states like Texas and California they feel bold enough to act out. Obama is all kinds of wrong with his amnesty game. Guess he’s doing that to help out his relatives that are here illegally too.

    I agree with you on the Africa thing. Mentioning South Africa, Nigeria and Ghana would be a good frame of reference. It would make people sound more informed. And the CIA has a fantastic website profiling every country in the world. I use it when I’m interested in visiting another country….

  6. JK
    August 8th, 2012 @ 7:20 PM

    @Mikey Tandino
    I assure you I am a real person.
    Sorry to offend you with the “short story.”
    It is truth not fiction, however!

  7. Truth P.
    August 9th, 2012 @ 1:54 AM

    “And does no one see that America is bending over backwards for our future overlords the Hispanics? I personally dont agree that they should all be over here all willy nilly w/o going through the proper channels. It doesnt help me that they are here.”

    Agree.What irks me is their failure or refusal rather to learn the English language.I don’t think Americans should be forced to learn Spanish or have it cost them jobs.I do not believe in amnesty for the people who cross the border legally and I also don’t believe their children/anchor babies should be allowed to stay here.Mainly because these rules are only applying to certain illegal immigrants but that’s a another story.

    GoldenAh: If certain populations (non-citizens) can willfully ignore the law, why should citizens obey any law? This idiocy cannot last. I’m done with any politician who acts like he’s above the laws he’s sworn to uphold. I have no patience for it. If politicians want open borders, which I believe they truly want, then we need to have some major changes happen in this country. I’m all for ending the income tax, certain entitlements, and just going for a double-digit national sales tax. Since citizens are no longer the true beneficiaries of social programs, might as well end them all, and let people have the opportunities to earn their money and keep it without being taxed into poverty.

    The amnesty thing is a joke, because everyone who brings their kids to this country now and into the future will continue to qualify for this program. There is no cut-off date.

  8. Mikey Tandino
    August 9th, 2012 @ 8:19 AM

    And they and others use their failure of the English language to get out of their public duties. I had to do jury duty and a lot of these fools stood up there and stated that they could not serve on a jury because they did not understand English well enough.

    Judge asked how long have you been here. The answers ranged from 10-35 years. So you mean to tell me that in 35 years you couldnt learn the language of the company you emigrated to?

    They want all of the rights and protections, but do not want to follow the rules and partcipate in society as everyone else does.

    And we are killing ourselves to be all inclusive to them.
    Im sorry, but if you do not speak English, you cannot apply for these food stamps or whatever. No other people have been courted and catered to in the manner that they are.

    GoldenAh: Even though I suck at foreign languages, the first thing I try to do is learn a few basic words – like greeting people, thanking them and wishing them a good day. It’s simple to do, I parrot whatever they say, and watch their TV programs. I know people who’ve taught themselves English just by watching English-speaking movies and TV programs until they are proficient.

    English should be the only language banks, the gov’t and every organization should provide information in. Why must I press ‘1’ for English?

    I don’t understand the bending over backwards behavior of our gov’t either. It makes no sense to me.

  9. FoxyCleopatra
    August 9th, 2012 @ 11:42 AM

    I’m glad to see that more and more pple are waking up to the foolishness of amnesty for illegal immigrants. Khadija from the blog MuslimBushido has written about some of her observations in regards to racist employment practices where they ask for ‘native’ Spanish speakers. So therefore, irrespective of how great one may speak the language, only native (read Latino/Hispanic) will actually be employed for the position.

    I just hope that the majority of Americans wise up before its too late. Once they get full citizenship and therefore voting rights, the rest of you are done! This is because since they will outnumber blacks and eventually whites, they will end up being a majority voting bloc. I remember a few years ago when someone said that America will soon be an officially dual-lingual nation, I scoffed at it. Boy how wrong was I?! It will not surprise me if in a few years, for you to get employment, Spanish language fluency will be expected the way English is now.

    GoldenAh: Majority of Americans have never supported Amnesty. It’s President “Open Borders” Obama who’s just trying to get a couple more votes in a few states doing this. And it didn’t budge his poll numbers not one bit. Obama was asked about the double-the-average, high unemployment rate of black people and his answer was, “I am not the President of black America.” There you have it, his contempt couldn’t be more plain. Why reward someone who’s done all he can for other groups, but turns his back on black people?

  10. truth p.
    August 10th, 2012 @ 1:45 AM

    @Mikey Tandino I notice where I live ALL OTHER immigrants,black Africans,Arab Africans,Chinese,Laotian,Indian’s from India, various brown and black skinned people from Muslim and Hindi countries,as well as white people from Russia and other European countries, from various economic backgrounds,with different job duties,from Janitors to Restaurant workers to Doctors have learned the English language.

    The ONLY immigrants that I see daily that don’t know English and a year from now likely still won’t know any English are 1.Hispanics 2.Newly arrived housewives of Muslim black African and Arab men.I notice that of the two, the housewives will learn English first.

    I work at a hospital around a very diverse group of people btw.

    I also notice the many people using Hospitals as a clinic or their primary care giver.Health insurance is a major issue in this country for EVERY ONE.The illegal immigrants that come into the hospital are costing us MILLIONS and they don’t even have to give a name or residence to repay.Add the number of US citizens that can’t afford healthcare and Houston we have a problem.I recently learned that I’m being taxed on my dollars close to 30% of my earnings.I think this will continue to increase as more illegal immigrants come into the country and as more wealthy people get tax breaks.It’ll probably be at my expense.
    Meanwhile,I’ still trying to make money to go to school and pay my bills.Le Sigh

    To be clear,I don’t have any particular gripe with the illegal immigrants here.They don’t bother me,as they are not in very large number here yet.I’m just looking at how it’s costing me money I can’t afford to give away to have them here.If my taxes weren’t so high you probably wouldn’t hear a peep out of me.

    GoldenAh: I was extremely liberal until I got my first serious paycheck after college. Back then they were taking out taxes for all sorts of things. It was like over 10 items at one time. Since then, they’ve gotten slick and consolidate the thievery under various acronyms. And I live in a high tax state like NJ, so combine that with everything, and I feel I get nothing for the expense. Nothing at all.

    The illnesses that scare and bankrupt people usually fall into one of these three groups: 1) Chronic – like diabetes, which is lifelong, 2) Catastrophic – the car accident or from a disaster, 3) A life threatening common or rare disease – like cancer, which may require unusual or advanced drugs that not even the FDA has approved.

    The other stuff falls into the category of people not taking care of themselves and using the hospital, as you say, like a clinic. Most problems if managed and caught early don’t end up costing that much. Seeing the doctor often and early is better than waiting for everything to fall apart and head off to the hospital. I have a phobia of hospitals, so I do everything I can to avoid ever needing to go there.

    If the gov’t wants to remove the income tax and replace it with a national sales tax, I’m all for it. At least we know everybody will be paying taxes. We can all be miserable together. 🙂



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