BETTY CHAMBERS

Narcissism for Black Women: The Very Good and Healthy Expression of Deep Self-Love, and Extreme Self-Devotion. Why? Because It's Good For Ya! And Sometimes I Write about Natural Hair, Among Other Things


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Lately, people have been calling me skinny

Posted on | December 6, 2012 | 35 Comments

It’s a weird comment to hear, especially coming from one of the office whales. You know, like if you think I am skinny, what does that make you?

And she sounded exasperated, like how dare I appear so small – at least in her eyes, because I don’t see it. I was told by someone else – who I really regard as “in shape” that my waist appears “tiny”. While I admire the bodies of Mae West, Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield or Jane Russell, I don’t imagine I look anywhere near those figures.

Somehow this was the year I got my eating under control, but I walk no more than 25 to 50 minutes daily. If time and the weather allows. I really miss weight lifting.

And by the way, my waist is 28 inches, I have to measure my top and bottom again. I haven’t done that in a while. I am aiming for 36 – 26 – 36, if that’s possible. Back in the good ol’ says, those were my measurements.

I eat apples for breakfast, apparently they are natural appetite suppressors. I also eat very few sugary foods, bread, rice and I stick to meat, veggies and fruit that don’t give me gas (LOL) or make me hungry. I confess I like salty and spicy foods. I drink a couple glasses of water when I think I’ve overdone it.

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See? No big deal. And I love big belts.

What’s on your mind?

Update: another belt I love.
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35 Responses to “Lately, people have been calling me skinny”

  1. Nysee
    December 28th, 2012 @ 11:27 AM

    Dear Betty,
    I was thinking in addition to your fabulous weight loss, I want us BW to do several more things in the upcoming months. I have schedule a dental appointment because we want to to be our optimal best for future social evetns and expanding our social circle even more.
    I have made an appointment for my mammogram.
    I have made an appointment for my physical.
    Write down a list of activites to do.
    I will be doing some traveling no matter what and each and every month visit some place in the U.S. and interantionally.
    Write down your 2nd and 3rd streams of income because BW are very talented, inteligent and resourcefula dn we will put ourselves first and foremost. Yes, if you have children they will be provided for but I can not give them what I don’t have. Support people such as yourself and places and entitities that support us and leave a postive impression of Black Women in our society so our daughters, nieces and Black females know that we are of vaule and other people see and know our value in a good way.
    Sorry for the long post.
    Wishing everyone a Happy 2013 and look forward to many great things we will write about and be involved in.

    GoldenAh: This is an awesome comment, Nysee. Don’t apologize at all. This keeps me honest, because it is where I want to go. These are some of my goals as well. How do we prosper without an excellent reminder of what we need and should achieve?

    Love your list. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts. Although it takes a long time for me to respond, I love the feedback.

    And I want to thank you for coming here and sharing them. Happy New Year. 😀

  2. MsMellody
    December 28th, 2012 @ 3:37 PM

    Nysee!!! This is SOOOO Kismet..your comment;

    “Write down your 2nd and 3rd streams of income”

    I came here to post this link about the breaking news that you can now host your own website THROUGH freakin Amazon servers!!

    Not exactly sure ( because I am not a website developer or current website owner ) but this seems to be some awesome stuff in the tech world.

    Here is the link on the story;

    http://aws.typepad.com/aws/2012/12/root-domain-website-hosting-for-amazon-s3.html

    Second and third streams of income are often generated through web traffic..so have at it!!

    GoldenAh: One thing I like about big companies like Google, PayPal and Amazon, is that if you have a few items to sell, they are terrific for handling the item listing, shipping (Amazon will hold products for you), monetary payments (Paypal), and advertising (Facebook was good at one time), etc.

    They all can make running a tiny side business simple. Frankly, I don’t have the time or inclination to set up a website to sell stuff. These companies have literally made a big difference for me in the past. And when I have time, I’ll check out more of their features.

    Thank you for the link, MsMellody.

    And I’d encourage anyone who’s interested in starting small, just play around and test what Amazon, Google and others have to offer in taking care of the tiny or small vendor. You start to appreciate the little bits of income that come your way…. Don’t be afraid of trial and error….

  3. Andrea
    January 5th, 2013 @ 12:03 AM

    I love reading about Black women losing weight and getting in shape. I’m very proud of all of you! Too many BW are willing to stay fat and damage their health and social life just to appease the haters. I believe people pleasing and fear is the number one reason so many BW are overweight.

    @GoldenAh
    You look terrific! I love the belts. And I am glad that you were not among those at your office let go. I have seen the “fat people first” firings up close too. I used to work at a company that did telemarketing and marketing research and even though the clients never came into contact with 99% of the employees, when they needed to cut the fat they did it literally. When I told my parents about it, they were not surprised.

    @Oshun
    I am so pleased to hear about your mothers’ achievement, and yours. It’s truly remarkable! And the fact that your mother doesn’t have one relative other than you who is happy for her is ridiculous. I am always amazed when I hear about a person who no longer has to take medication because they lost weight and changed their eating habits. I don’t know what kind of sociopath you would have to be to not be happy for and proud of such a person, especially your own flesh and blood. I don’t even know your mother and I am totally proud of her. I hope she doesn’t start slipping because of the haters. I’ve seen that happen with a friend of mine. Her hater is her own mother. My friend lost more than 90 pounds, but has regained 17 of them and her mother seems to be trying to get her to regain more. It’s sad.

    Also, I agree with GoldenAh and JaliliMaster about your aunt. You don’t owe someone who has been that rude to you and your mother anything. She didn’t even have the decency to ask you directly for your help, but expected to get your help while you were ill, and never checked to see how you were doing. I would either resend the email you already sent or just say no. Both would be appropriate, considering her behavior towards both you and your mother.

    The sad part is, even online Black people want to sabotage BW who are losing weight. I see it on YT videos and fitness blogs. Even when you are not trying to lose weight you may get crazy remarks about weight. I use to play a fashion game on FB and one of my FB friends (a BW) said that my avatar was too skinny. It’s a freaking cartoon! And I didn’t create it. I can just imagine what she would say about me if I was one of those women who posted pics of myself online. LOL.

    @Nysee
    I don’t want to be intrusive, but I was told by my own gynecologist not to have a mammogram unless I believed I already had a lump. She said that there have been studies that show they may increase the likelihood of breast cancer. Just thought I should let you know.

    @MsMellody
    Thank you for the link! I’ll be sure to check it out.

    Happy 2013 Everyone!

    GoldenAh: Happy New Year to you as well, Andrea. Thank you for the compliments and well wishes.

    That business of companies getting rid of the big people…it’s something else. You know, years ago I thought I was tripping, but then like a few weeks later, I started to notice how a majority of the people left were small or medium sized. And companies don’t care if they let go of contractors, temps or full time. They are always the first out the door. I also see that when they hire full time employees they are tiny or slender women, but men can be a bit heftier.

    Your folks and mine know the deal. My Mom was always after me about how I dressed. That’s why I laughed at those who always had something to say about my clothes. I’d rather be considered overdressed sometimes than be seen as someone wearing the same exact top for two whole weeks. People like to say that grooming, size and whatever doesn’t matter, but they’re lying. 😀

  4. Oshun
    January 7th, 2013 @ 2:46 PM

    Thank you Goldie, MsMellody, Andrea, and JaliliMaster for the advice. I decided not to respond at all. The longer I thought about it – the angrier I became. Plus I still have been dealing with this – I think it is the flu and its no fun.

    @Goldie

    On a lighter note- Betty, I engaged in serious retail therapy while I was ill. I know I had mentioned it before about needing clothes and you gave me some good advice and links and I finally bought from a couple of the stores you recommended. I was able to get some pretty good deals due to the holidays. I got one of my arrivals Friday and they fit perfectly! So now I am wanting more pretty clothes.

    Re: Firing all the overweight workers-

    Would it even have helped to have “friends” in high places? I am not for peeps being obese, but wow – only the overweight people were fired? This must be related to health care costs.

    @Nysee
    Congrats to you for all the self-care! 🙂 I wish I was traveling now. And thanks for reminding us to stay on the ball regarding income streams.

    @Andrea
    Wow…fat people first firings? I have been in a cave. I had no idea. Lord!

    Thanks for the compliments. I will share that with my mom.

    “My friend lost more than 90 pounds, but has regained 17 of them and her mother seems to be trying to get her to regain more. It’s sad. ”

    This is an amazing feat to be proud of! I don’t get how a mom can sabotage her own daughter! Who wants worse for their daughter?

    “The sad part is, even online Black people want to sabotage BW who are losing weight. I see it on YT videos and fitness blogs. Even when you are not trying to lose weight you may get crazy remarks about weight.”

    I can believe it. I used to think it was personal. Its not. I think as more of us BW take back our power and start putting these fools in their places – they will learn to shut up and all the extra commentary is unwelcome.

  5. Oshun
    January 7th, 2013 @ 6:50 PM

    @ Goldenah

    I missed your response!

    “OMG. You got strip searched. That’s terrible.”

    Everytime I think about it – it makes me want to cry. I went to her superior and he suggested that she could have done a cavity search and would have been well within her rights to do so. I was so triggered.

    “Years ago I got wanded and she was spending so much time on my chest I asked if she wanted me to take off my bra.”

    I am so sorry that happened. I swear I think some of these TSA creeps are freaking sex offenders. And the killing part is that they are the same gender as you are! But I guess that has nothing to do with abusers. This woman was assaulted.

    http://www.sagatube.com/watch_FkM6n5qbMa4_-_TSA-Abuse.html

    I stayed over in Scottsdale for a few days and I was so glad no one bothered me when I boarded in Phoenix because I would have went to jail. But they did get this elderly woman – elderly for christsakes- and a pregnant woman to “pat down” who were in front of me. The pregnant woman was sooo pregnant and you can tell she didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to leave her purse and the TSA so and so was all like, “No! Just leave it! Leave your purse and step over here..Mam..leave your purse and come around here!”

    I felt so badly for her.

    “Damn, now entering and leaving the country is like going thru a high security prison. I haven’t gone anywhere since they started getting this ridiculous.”

    It is. There is a you tube tape of cell phone audio of a couple who went to visit Canada and the USA agents – well if the constitution still stood- the were unlawfully detained. All they wanted to do was go shopping and sightsee.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-AWBfxsL6k

    “Sorry to hear this happened to you, Oshun. This is a health issue that would affect you.”

    Thank you. This makes me want to leave here asap and never come back.

    “People gotta start asking where do we draw the line in the name of “security”? What happened to you brings back the issue to me – that we as black women get extra screening, although I’ve yet to see evidence of us hijacking planes.”

    I don’t know what the stats are, but when I got across the border the locals were like – they are doing this to everyone. And they were surprised that I was so livid and shaken.
    The crazy part is that the women border patrols were something else.

    “I am lactose intolerant as well. Not as sensitive to cheese, but I never want to push my luck. I have come to dislike eggs. They make me queasy.”

    🙂 LOL well you are well ahead of the game – I am finding this out about myself soo late.



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