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Open Forum: What’s On Your Mind?

Posted on | February 10, 2013 | 31 Comments

I’m a blank right now. :D

Pick any topic you like or post links.

The floor is yours.

The Blizzard That Wasn’t

I was expecting more snow, but I’m thankful my area wasn’t hit with much. A good lot of it has melted away already. Unfortunately, the New England area is another story.

Amazing Analysis of Scandal

I want to give props to Faith (actsoffaithblog.com) for her insightful examination of Scandal. It came about due to Star Jones trying to dictate to Shonda Rhimes about the direction of the show’s characters.

I loved reading her thoughts on this topic. Enjoy.

 

 

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31 Responses to “Open Forum: What’s On Your Mind?”

  1. Oshun
    February 10th, 2013 @ 10:04 PM

    Hey GoldenAh!

    So glad to hear that you haven’t been totally snowed under! I am mad that we are finally getting temps in the 40s to 50s. :) I don’t think I can handle the freezing temps and snow/ice up there. :)

    The two major things on my mind are:

    #1 the demonic proliferation of black love relationship gurus as I posted in the other thread. In the words of Florida Evans (discovered Good Times on Roku LOL)these people “don’t know shellac from shinenola” and are just spouting garbage left and right.

    #2 the hijacking of the BWE message. I am pleased that the BWE message has been spreading and getting out to BW, but I have noticed that a.) that there is a cadre of DBR men and women who are co-opting and slipping poison in and b.) some of the core tenants of BWE have been turned into what Khadijah called “empty slogans”.

    I am grateful, so grateful to BWE pioneers and having my eyes opened. I am especially grateful to Khadijah for being so uncompromising and teaching about nuance or I would not be able to discern the poison in these messages.

    For example on BlogTalk there is much talk about Evia’s “Quality Man”concept, Khadija’s “protect & provide..” has even gone mainstream all the way to Steve Harvey and both of these concepts have been co-opted turned into empty slogans and have had poison attached to them.

    For example one DBR (allegedly married) called in to a show of single women (side eye* trolling for back up booty corps recruits) talked about quality men and all of these wonderful traits they should have and how BW should not settle for less.

    He even talked about compatibility – which is something you know that black folks didn’t even discuss a few years ago because apparently all BW and BM were compatible because they were black. Then went on about being equally yoked – which is just another phrase for having compatible values and attitudes towards life blah blah blah…sounds great, good, and grand.

    Then he turns around after he has just gassed them up by telling them they deserve so much more in men and by essentially giving him the Black Massa Kang official stamp of approval/permission to seek that out in men…he then asks the late 30s to 40 something single never married women- “would they be interested in snagging a guy such as himself?” Side eye* booty corp recruitment alert.

    And of course they say yes they would because he wants the best for them *hack swallows vomit in back of throat* I mean knows all the right things to say…

    And then he proceeds to tell them that to get a guy like him “a quality man”, they need to introduce themselves to men, ask them out, and offer to pay for the first date. According to him a “quality man” will be very impressed with this but according to him you have to make sure that he is a “quality man”.

    I am not a Christian, but I rebuke you Satan in the name of Jesus, the devil is a lie, and get thee behind me.

    I can not believe that the women on this show were like “well I do introduce myself to men and I have paid for a date before and yes, you have to make sure that he is a ‘quality man’…and I am like just *dead*

    Same old same old…very old, rotten, putrid, acidic wine…damn near vinegar- in a spanking brand new wineskin.

    Black woman its all on you. You need to approach, wine and dine a negro, take the lead in the relationship (and yet let a man be a man) and it might work out if you are psychic enough to divine that he is a quality man after you have wined and dined him.

    That is the very antithesis of a quality man.

    And these people are legion. I had no idea that BlogTalk was becoming the slick willie version of You Tube. But its morphing and slicker and I have no words.

    I am not going to even get on the 3.6 million shows that are dedicated to sex. I feel like shooting off some rageful emails saying “don’t you think negros have got the sex game on lock considering the nearly 80% out of wedlock rate combined with the HIV rate?”

    And I am not going to go there either on the other 3.6 million shows talking about Jesus, Jesus, and more Jesus. LOL

    Scrolling through the shows makes it look like all negros think about is eating, sleeping, screwing, eliminating, and shouting hallelujah.

    Black people need to just shut up and stay away from public outlets because some of the stuff I am hearing is even slicker than I mentioned above, and so dysfunctional and just demonic. Its just evil and vile.

    Rant Over

    GoldenAh: I know some of us wish that the BWE message could reach black women without being degraded or hampered by a loss of logic and common sense. However, the nature of communications is that by the time it reaches these women it’s gone through several filters and, as we know, nothing can stay unaffected after going through swamp, sludge, trash, and the sewer. I don’t even believe multiple steps through purification would help give it back its integrity. :D

    Those who seek transformation have to be seeking that change from the get-go. It starts to occur when a black women innately senses something is wrong with what they’re hearing and being advised to do from the black media or the lost tribes of Blackistan.

    We also have to realize that some of the black women who are getting bamboozled by a warped message, which defies common sense, are hearing what they want to hear. That’s nearly impossible to change.

    If they start out with a simple rule: I need to be treated as well, if not better, than other women – they will thrive. Unfortunately, the black media continues to tell them they should be thrilled with polluted, foul and rancid meat. After a while, I don’t even think they notice how bad it is.

    That’s why black women are portrayed as having the hardest time letting a negro “free”, because she’s “invested” so much in the useless fellow. She’s been the man from jump and when someone else comes along… That’s why I don’t find any humor in any story about women slashing tires, keying cars or being unable to disengage from a knucklehead without going bonkers. All that anger is due to getting into a “relationship” with a sign that says, “Please use me. I am emotionally hungry and affection starved.”

    Maybe I’ll write about it one day….

  2. Oshun
    February 10th, 2013 @ 10:14 PM

    On a more personal note. I am building a new side hustle. I have decided where I want to move in the U.S. down to the neighborhood and am taking steps towards that and I have decided on where I want my 2nd citizenship. I am planing 2 trips loosely right now. One to the state where I wish to relocate and the other out of the country for dating/marriage purposes.

    I felt a twinge of pity and I did resend the email to my aunt and wrote her some general guidelines to follow – as a test. Her daughter said that she was going to the library to print out the email because they ran out of printer paper at home.

    I thought why not just buy printer paper? And I told them I sent a lot of links in the original email and it may be better to sit and read through them (take notes or copy paste in word/text) when you come across certain info you want to keep or recipes you want vs trying to print that all out. It doesn’t make sense to print them out as that is a lot of info. Silence. No thanks given at all.

    I am officially done.

    GoldenAh: Fantastic! Good for you, Oshun. I’m dual citizenship, but that was none of my doing. My mom made that happen. In light of stuff that’s happening in this day-and-age, you never know where you may have to run to. After 9/11, nothing is off the table. Who knows what could happen next? And this gov’t is turning scary. First and foremost we must think of our well being, thriving and going beyond just surviving.

    I congratulate you on the side hustle too. I wish I wasn’t such a low energy woman, I could do so much more. But it is, what it is. I’m always on the search for technology and outsourcing to make things easier for myself. Two things I’ve learned: everything is negotiable and you can sell nearly everything – there’s always a buyer. Sometimes we talk ourselves out of making extra money because we believe our knowledge isn’t worth much. Based on a guess from reading your prior comments, I’d say you could make quite a bit of money if you package the information right.

    And Oshun, you have a good heart. Don’t change that about yourself. You know when to stop trying and that is what counts. I could do to be more forgiving. There are some people I cannot even give the time of day to. And yes, I would kick them when they are down. ;)

    Good luck!!!

  3. MsMellody
    February 11th, 2013 @ 12:29 AM

    Waving excitedly at Betty!!!
    So glad to hear that you are safe and sound on the beautiful East coast!!

    And waiving the car keys at Oshun!! while at the same time saying “Jesus take the wheel!!!” LOL

    I hear you I hear you girl!! I can just about hear that radio program..the usual gas-lighters talking a good game..all the while it’s just a method of trolling and as you well put it “looking to recruit new members in the booty call corps”…and like clockwork uninformed bw’s lining up to sign up!!!

    Thank God for the real enlightenment that I and others have found at the bwe/common sense writers!

    Have not been a frequent reader of a lot of the “other/imposter” blogs but I was done done and done when the new tv host who shall remain nameless got his tv show after allegedly stealing that book idea from that black female writer who got her idea stolen and this same said book was made into a movie..just too much!!

    And yes, it is completely understandable that you would give a little info to your aunt. I can understand but continue to set and stand by your limits.

    Now, let’s continue to let Jesus take the wheel!!

    GoldenAh: Thank you, MsMellody. I don’t mind the snow, as long as it starts coming down on a Friday night and is mostly gone by Sunday morning. It was perfect this time around.

    I have to admit I miss a lot of the stuff floating around black media now-a-days…. Seems the messaging hasn’t changed at all.

  4. Faith
    February 11th, 2013 @ 4:55 AM

    The extreme weather conditions will only continue, so I hope people will begin preparing to ride out storms or be able to evacuate.

    Re: BWE messaging. One of the easiest ways of avoiding confusion is to stop paying attention to what most black people say and remove yourself.

    BWE was never intended to be a cause for the masses, but the divestment strategies are clear for individual black women to implement. Any confusion usually stems from remaining in the toxic Blackistan environments and following business as usual.

    Understanding that adopting the language used from our numerous conversations was never meant to replace the interpersonal work required in changing mindsets and making different choices. From my observation most BW don’t want to cut the cord, which is how fake-BWE and BWE-lite compromises occur. Direct opposition is minimal compared to those who simply prefer to settle or go along to get along.

    Making permanent changes is a timely process but it’s also not meant to be an extended effort unless someone is new to hearing about BWE and and hasn’t yet seen the transformation that has taken place.

    Patriarchy also influences. Know that people are going to do what benefits them and most BM and BW are invested in uplifting BM interests without any reciprocity to the detriment of BW.

    So that guy who called in was going to say what would work for him at other women’s expense and should have been expected. Which is why you don’t waste your time expecting something different from users/abusers.

    GoldenAh: Exactly.

  5. Faith
    February 11th, 2013 @ 5:02 PM

    On another note, thanks for visiting the blog and it got me thinking a few more thoughts about the fake Scandal criticism which is really about fear of white men and black women relationships.

    I just watched an episode of Arrow on CW. It’s the most watched show on the network. I wonder why there hasn’t been any commentary about the BM/WW IRR relationship between the lead female character or any accusations about Magic Negroes with the chauffeur-mentor-in-disguise of the black guy who’s guiding the WM hero of the series. Oh wait…it’s not about a black WOMAN so nobody cares!

    GoldenAh: I wish I could visit more blogs like in the old days, but I barely have time for anything. I put the link about Scandal in the Black Actress Media discussion. And I’ll add it here too.

    I think that’s why I don’t like seeing anything with Morgan Freeman or others like him anymore, because of that magic negro aspect. It’s annoying and it breaks whatever enjoyment I could have in a film / TV show. Just lame.

    It’s so rare to see black women and non-black men (heck, with any man) together that it stands out. And the TV shows / movies here are so gun shy about it. I feel it should be shown so often that it becomes common place, just like how every British program has a charcoal brotha with an ivory-skinned woman. And the Brits aren’t afraid of using homely people either.

    I feel like a lot of the backlash about BW / WM & other men is this notion that the only men we are good enough for are the lowest rank black men around, and we should be eternally grateful if they even consider us. Hence, the attitude that a bw with a PHd and serious bank is obligated to take a homeless black guy off the street, bring him home, clean him up and nurture him like a baby, because that is more than enough for us. If we desire anything more in a male, we’re getting above ourselves. Hilarious.

    Gotta check out that twitter debate you mentioned….

  6. Faith
    February 12th, 2013 @ 10:30 PM

    Some other links I’ve posted

    Tony Goldwyn interview with Tavis Smiley (IGNORE Miss Tavis and her haterade). What made me perk up was Tony discussing how he’s love to do IRR stories (since he’s a director and Hollywood royalty) I think this would be a wonderful time to PITCH him. He’s CLEARLY loving his role as Olivia’s love interest on Scandal so there’s an ALLY presenting himself.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=B1X6I408hDY

    And the Lifetime movie Twist of Faith (should this go in the Black Actress section?) with Toni Braxton starring as a divorced mother who meets a white man recovering from the loss of his wife and kids. I haven’t watched it because I don’t have a tv right now, but the network posted a clip of a romantic scene between the two characters.

    http://www.mylifetime.com/movies/twist-of-faith/video/nina-and-jacob-kiss-after-an-incident-at-the-church

    GoldenAh: Tony G. knows to picks good material in which to act, direct and produce. I would expect quality if he was a part of a project that included a BW / WM relationship. I’d certainly support it, because I know it wouldn’t be the insulting garbage that usually gets tossed at us. I hope someone does send him – is it done via pitching? – good, quality material.

    It’s fascinating how Toni Braxton expressed interest in WM or maybe working with them and there we have a project on Lifetime just for her. That relates back to how if a star is big enough, she pretty much could ask for the type of theme she wants for a program and get it. This especially applies to those black male actors pretending they cannot have a black woman as his co-star. These people who love to erase black women from even “black movies” are liars about why they do it. Bruce Willis was a good friend of Michael Clarke Duncan (back when he was a newbie), and used to ask the director / producers to include the big guy in his movie(s) – basically create a role for the man. Maybe it didn’t happen all the time, but having that kind of star power to get you started is incredible.

    Like we all say, it’s about reciprocity.

  7. JaliliMaster
    February 13th, 2013 @ 8:48 AM

    With all these fake-BWE and BWE-lite imposters, I do not for one second believe that these are people who are confused about the BWE message. Many of them are either against BWE, or might support/desire some of its objectives, but are unwilling (or feel unable) to do what it takes/make the changes required to achieve it. So they either intentionally twist the message or pretend to be confused about what we are saying. I have spent many a long hours foolishly arguing with these fools, thinking that I was helping them to see the light and stop misunderstanding BWE. Since I realised what their deal is, I just don’t bother anymore. If they want to stay in Blackistan, by all means. It’s their life. I only get involved to ensure that anyone that is new to BWE gets to hear the real BWE message. I spent so many hours trawling through the ORIGINAL BWE sites (like Khadijas MB & SP and Evia’s), looking for the articles that really spoke to the core BWE tenets, and I just post these links in the comments section of blogs/forums where I see bw engaging in typical foolishness and I tire of trying to give them some sense.

    I just watched an episode of Arrow on CW. It’s the most watched show on the network. I wonder why there hasn’t been any commentary about the BM/WW IRR relationship between the lead female character or any accusations about Magic Negroes with the chauffeur-mentor-in-disguise of the black guy who’s guiding the WM hero of the series. Oh wait…it’s not about a black WOMAN so nobody cares!

    Also, notice the “bw” characters on the show. One was the mixed-race actress that played a journalist at the newspaper (she was just basically the ‘best friend/sidekick role to the main ww character), and the chauffeurs sister-in-law/hinted at love interest. I don’t even know if this character is supposed to be a bw, for all I know, she may be Latino or Native American, or some other mixture. Yet, I notice that there have been a higher than normal number of bm, visibly bm, in the series. So in an intentional casting, they have decided to leave bw out, and have bm represent all their ‘black characters’. I enjoy the show, very much in fact. However, when I heard that the show had gotten cancelled (cannot confirm that by the way), I did chuckle a bit. It means that even though it’s done well, it hasn’t pulled in viewers to the degree that they expected, especially given that it already had a built-in comic book fanbase.

    Tony Goldwyn interview with Tavis Smiley (IGNORE Miss Tavis and her haterade). What made me perk up was Tony discussing how he’s love to do IRR stories (since he’s a director and Hollywood royalty) I think this would be a wonderful time to PITCH him. He’s CLEARLY loving his role as Olivia’s love interest on Scandal so there’s an ALLY presenting himself.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=B1X6I408hDY

    Tavis was a moron. He actually said: “……so you gonna leave your white wife for a sista…….”

    GoldenAh: Tavis is ignant. He’s blown up = literary as big as a double-wide. And I find his question about “Can black women or people or color run this?” Is so annoying. Maybe Tony G. is not as hung up on race as Tavis is. Why would he even think about it? I don’t see how he could even imagine what’s it like to be a woman, and that’s okay. Plus, with Tavis black equals male. I cannot stand that “people of color” phase. Tony G. pays Shonda Rhimes some wonderful compliments, which are true. He sounds like he has a great amount of respect for Shonda Rhimes and Kerry Washington.

    And I hear you on the is-she-black? what-is-she? women characters cast on shows. I don’t like trying to guess whether someone who sorta resembles a black women is or who might not be. Whereas, like you say, there’s never any ambiguity with black male characters. I really don’t like that. I have nothing against these women, but I don’t see that happening with the men, only black women. I don’t like that replacement agenda.

  8. Faith
    February 13th, 2013 @ 3:27 PM

    I know the BWE imposters/diluters/antagonists are well aware of what they’re doing, I was referring to the readers who claim confusion from not doing enough to make the transformation they claim to seek or seem to have difficulty telling the difference between a diamond and a lump of coal.

    I will be brief since this is not my forum.

    See, it’s the same rock but one has gone through the necessary changes to get to its end result.

    Talking the talk but not doing anything will have you going in circles. It’s why every time I write something about black women being a certain kind of way I get a spike in blog hits, lots of shared links but anything seriously related to just being “normal” – not a “black woman striving” does not get the same pavlovian response.

    Which is why if you go to my blog and search the archives you’ll notice the same conversations said 250,000 different ways, but many of those same women are regular participants at the BWE-poser spaces and guest blog even after the lies and anti-BW agendas were exposed.

    It’s what they want.

    They want to be part of the crowd, not separate themselves. Even if it’s on a sinking ship, but they don’t see it that way. BWE was a new and exciting internet battle for sport for many black women, not about making necessary back-end offline life changes.

    MANY changes have taken place, but many refuse to cross the finish line. There have been and are still a lot of silent observers evaluating those responses.

    BWE was like Occupy in the sense of acknowledging a certain status quo that doesn’t work. Just like many of the Occupy bunch had been fine as long as their nest was feathered, so it is with many black women. Let them get their fake BWE at the expense of benefiting others. Others want moldy crumbs and head pats to be “special” an non-threatening.

    Black women collectively control ONE TRILLION DOLLARS in this country but it all gets pissed out at the end of the day and into other people’s pockets. We’ll just keep peeling layers and try to reach young girls, but the current crop of nascent life-changers have already chosen Deathstyles by Blackistan so that they might belong.

    Arrow hasn’t been canceled. It’s a big hit for the network. Again, I skimmed through a few episodes to get a feel for the series.

    Here’s the thing about patriarchy – it works for the benefit of black males. Even when they cry racism. Black women are virtually invisible in film and tv shows unless it’s a stereotype.

    “Ethnic” roles are going to foreign black actresses (bi-racial or not) or to Asian actresses (east and south) to fill “diversity” quotas. And Latina actresses get their own category.

    Castings do have impact, but what about the blanket support given by African American women who flock to the cheaply produced ratchet reality shows and movies like Red Tails that intentionally erase them or those who flocked to see Django Unchained.

    We are contributing to our own demise.

  9. Nysee
    February 14th, 2013 @ 4:38 PM

    Dear Betty, Glad to know your are safe in this horrible blizzard. Black women please do not consider these BM have your back in any way. People were rallying behind the cop in California.
    Really? Here is man who murdered 4 people.I know Blacks may have issues with law enforcement,but BW, they are only protection when it comes to BM. Black folks were so bent on the racist cops that a man no longerso has his daughter with him. So how are showing people that we can handle things in the right way. I have done most of nmy check ups and everything is fine . Also, looking into side husltle next on the agensa. Law enforcement are the only ones protecting us BW. Khadija did a post on this because she is a very insightful person and seen the handwriting a long time. BW get your family out of Blackistan now know if s ands or buts. It is becoming dangerous and we see how the thinking is of Black folk who would rather protect a criminal than have compassionf ro the INNOCENT VICTIMS
    keepup mthe good work Betty until next time

    GoldenAh: Hello Nysee, and thank you! Compared to other storms, this one was perfectly mild.

    Glad to hear that you are in good health, and that next on your agenda is the side hustle. I, too, have to get cracking. Spring is around the corner!!!

    Law enforcement is not perfect, but I will never forget how Mayor Giuliani turned one of the most dangerous cities in the USA into one of the safest. I mean they made movies about how bad it was like, Escape from NY. The name of this movie escapes me, but there was one about this gang / crew riding the train from a rumble in the Bronx trying to get back to Brooklyn! They were running from other gangs! Oh, and trains used to be all covered in graffiti… I could go on, but wont. Now, people take it for granted, which is good. It should be like that.

    Stay safe and healthy, in great spirits, and good luck in achieving your next goals, Nysee. Pleasure to hear from you.

  10. Oshun
    February 14th, 2013 @ 7:39 PM

    Just a heads up…

    SARS has mutated and there is now a superbug strain out. So all of you in Europe take care. There have been 5 deaths out of 11 people infected in the UK and 1 death in Japan. They think its transmitted from person to person.

    TB- there are now cases of TB that are resistant to any kind of treatment. This strain originated in South Africa.

    And finally there was a report out that now 1 in 3 people, about 110 million, or a third of the U.S. population, is infected with a sexually transmitted disease.

    Be safe and take precautions.

  11. Dreadnaught
    February 15th, 2013 @ 11:49 AM

    I have never seen arrow, and frankly if its the DC based comic I think it is, I wont. BUT I would like to note a few BW characters in Sci/Fantasy I liked, sadly there is not too many in the genre and that needs to fix.

    Tia Dalma/Calypso (Pirates) ( cmon on she turns out to be a smoking hot sea goddess in the end

    Micchone ( Walking Dead) Awesome chick, my son is 7 and according to him his new girlfriend

    Storm (X-Men) Comic Verison not the movie

    Maquesta Kar-Thon ( Dragonlance) – Pirate, Ship Captain…what more could ya ask for.

    GoldenAh: I’ve never heard of Maquesta Kar-Thon, gotta look for that. Thanks.

  12. MsMellody
    February 15th, 2013 @ 2:15 PM

    This needs to be discussed; “The Thirty Million Word Gap”.

    You know, ladies it is past time to continue quibbling over making those moves to get outside and expand your wings.

    The differences no longer need to be highlighted. It just needs to be taken as fact at this point.

    If you are 22-25 years old, single and in relatively normal range of weight and have no children..you need to be making all possible moves toward mingling and dating the men of the group that can provide and protect you.

    This is meant ONLY for those without children and are planning to mingle – date – marry and mate in the very near to now future;

    http://www.wbez.org/series/front-center/falling-behind-kindergarten-30-million-word-gap-100063

    GoldenAh: I remember reading an article in the NY Times – poverty of words – about the stark difference in vocabulary and amount of words that an infant to small child hears based on the income, educational background of the parent(s). No surprise. I think in the past the education level of people didn’t matter as much, because they could go to a factory job and work like mindless automatons. Today, not even in the factory can people get away with being semi-literate. They want people who understand computers, can read well, be creative, and more. Oh, wait, let me take that back. If someone is an illegal alien, then the lowest to middle tier jobs are available to them, but not Americans. Unfortunately, that’s the way it is.

    But as Dr Benjamin Carson’s background has shown, getting a child literate and top grade is not an impossible task. It depends on the determination of the mother – turn off the TV, distractions and have the kids study and read to keep up.

    Thanks for the link, MsMellody.

  13. Oshun
    February 16th, 2013 @ 1:32 AM

    Another heads up for those who are seeking traditional employment as professionals/in school. I saw a report that said Spanish no longer offers an advantage.

    The top 3 languages that employers think are hot now are Arabic, Chinese, and Japanese. In that order.

    They didn’t specify what kind of Arabic – I googled – there is more than one. They also didn’t specify what kind of Chinese.

    I am puzzled by the Japanese…though.

    I always thought German was in demand, but apparently not.

    GoldenAh: That is great advice, Oshun. Skills are necessary equipment in our tool belt. Even if it’s not for work, learning another language is a great mental exercise or hobby if you will. I’d go for Chinese, since that is where everything is heading.

    I can only get a few words of another language, maybe follow simple syntax or grammatical rules then after that I am lost. I was trying to pick up German a while back but didn’t have the time. I think I understand more words, which isn’t a lot trust me on this, in Korean, because of the dramas than any other language. I can listen to a little Korean and understand, I can read some German and figure out what it means. That’s as far as I can go. I suppose if I tried hard and got into it, I could do better.

  14. bwlivingwell
    February 17th, 2013 @ 2:42 PM

    I am so glad you spoke up about the immigration issue on Facebook. Like I said over there in the comment section, Barack will do more for illegal aliens than he will from black American women, you know the ones who slaved away to get him elected twice.

    Barack’s Administration has their list of priorities and black women are not even at the bottom of the list. We’re not there period.

    Faith (ActsofFaithBlog) just wrote a great post and this part relates exactly to this topic of illegal immigration and why black women should not be so quick to support this piece of legislation:

    “Don’t assume loyalty, jump to be angry with or defend the poor behavior of or give any of your time, energy, resources and money to people, causes and practices that do not benefit you or where there are no alliances yet evidenced. Everyone has to pay at the door for entry.”

    GoldenAh: US politicians have so much contempt for Americans that I wonder why people continue to re-elect these folks. No one has any problem with immigration if it is done right and fair. Politicians never really have to stand in line for anything, follow laws they create (from which they exempt themselves), pay all these taxes and mandate we have to do this-and-that. Now, they wanna say, “Let’s reward people who break the laws we wrote”. So, they rob this issue of any credibility. They do all this, because they don’t care about legality, have no respect for us, and in their minds we’re subjects to do their biding.

    The way I look at it, if they are writing laws they know will be ignored, Why bother with it? Is it because they can say they did their job writing “Magical Legislation?” Most of them love to say the Constitution is an evolving document – blah blah blah. Well, if they’re that concerned with evolving it, they need to acknowledge that being a Legislator (Representative / Senator) is not a full time job. It doesn’t require all the perks they have now. The Constitution was written when everybody took weeks to get to DC. Frankly, nearly everything they do can be done by computers, staffing and the leviathan-sized bureaucracy they’ve created over the last 30 plus years. Their presence really isn’t required or needed. They are mostly superfluous bodies floating around Washington DC. How many laws do they need to write that’s going to be ignored anyway? Congress and all their hacks need to be downsized the same way corporations routinely do.

    As far as I’m concerned, if the parasites in Washington DC want open borders then let’s have it. Immigrants can come and go as they please, all they need to do is register for a stay with a valid ID card, which they can renew every year, and let that be the end of it. If they want more, well, then our wonderful government bureaucracy deals with them. This talk about legalizing and turning law-breakers into citizens is garbage.

    I look at government in two ways: for those who want to be left alone to live freely and those that need government caretakers from cradle to grave. And those who want to be left alone, we pay a reasonable tax, expect a stable society, paved and clean roads, not too much corruption, and be free to go about our business without being treated like criminals all the time. It seems in this day and age that’s too much to ask.

    As for Obama and black women: he’s probably the first President we’ve had in a while, who has so much power, does as he pleases (ignoring the Constitution) and, unlike Bush, is not held at fault or responsible for any of his decisions. He cannot be criticized, scrutinized or evaluated. He can do no wrong. It’s mind boggling, but he’s got that black male trump card, which means you cannot say anything to people who idolize him, esp. black women. As you say, we are ignored like we have no issues to consider, even though we are the demographic who gave him the most support. But he can easily take us for granted. It’s kinda funny. He’s the most efficient at throwing black women under the bus, but none of them see it. If anybody even whispers about a black woman – who he’s pushed out in public to hide behind – she’s gone or has her credibility shredded. Hey, but he’s the first black President, so they’re all gonna “ride or die” for him.

    Dang, I could have made this another post…. sorry for the rant.

    Thank you for your comment, BWLivingWell. I appreciate you stopping by.

  15. bwlivingwell
    February 18th, 2013 @ 7:05 PM

    *rant*

    Betty, Betty, Betty lol
    You took the words right out of my mouth. EVERYTHING you said! I have to be careful who I share these opinions w/ lest I get my head chopped off. I don’t know which stans are worse, the Obama worshipers or the Beyonce stans! It became CRYSTAL clear to me what was going on w/ bw and the Democratic Party when I saw Susan Rice and Sherry Sherrod get thrown under the bus by their own.

    I have NEVER seen that go down with Condi Rice. Have you? Look at how Hilary Clinton got treated after the terrorist attack in Bengazi compared to how Dr. Rice got treated after Katrina? Hilary “falls down” and “gets a blood clot” and gets away scot-free and Condi is screamed at for what? shoe shopping during the storm? bc nothing says cold-hearted b*^%h like looking for shoes. SMH The Repubs had her back through it all and they still do. Can’t say the same for bw and Dems. sorry. they will hang you out to dry and keep it moving.

    The hypocrisy is disgusting. I will NOT be voting for another Clinton in 2016, but I fear bw will follow the Messiah’s orders and vote for her anyways…

    I’m annoyed at how complacent, lazy, stiff, and unchanging the Repub party is. I shock people when I say I rooting for the Tea Party. My white liberal friends ate like, 0_o???

    I want to see what kind of progress they will make in the next few years. They took a decent chunk of the voting block away from the Repubs which is a big deal. I am finding more and more black conservatives who I relate to like Deneen Borelli, Thomas Sowell (this man!!), Stacy Washington, etc. There’s so many bright and talented folks on the right that never get the attention they deserve.

    Please feel free to do a political post!!! You have a lot of bw out here, especially the 20-somethings like myself, who are finally coming to their senses. The status quo is no longer acceptable.

    GoldenAh: It is going to be a long 4 years, but I promised myself I’d focus on the positive (mostly) and getting things done for myself. I’ve got stuff I’ve needed to take care for years, too much dust gathering. Whenever I talk about Obama to certain people, I might as be in a movie where everyone has become one of the “pod” people. Scary.

    Dr. Ben Carson recently stepped out and said some common sense things at a National Prayer Breakfast. Cynically, I’m waiting for some national rags to start digging up dirt on the poor man.

    What you have to realize with the top levels of the Repubs and Dems is that they are the same people savoring the status quo. They all are agreeable and in accord when it comes to screwing us six ways from Sunday. The best way to deal with our politicians is to keep them honest on a local level, since on the national level it is a lost cause. The only way for change to occur is from the bottom up.

    I get a headache whenever I think about how Condi gets vilified left and right during Katrina. I think Spike Lee started it. Folks acted like she was personally responsible for all of New Orleans and should have taken over the jobs of hysterical Mayor Ray Nagin, nitwit Governor Blanco and impassive President Bush. I guess she forgot to put on her super black woman cape at the time and let people know what time it was. Whereas Hillary (and Obama) is MIA when an American Ambassador gets killed for the first time in 30 years. Oh well, that’s how it is.

    On some level, a lot of black women enjoy being masochistic. Pain is joy.

  16. Oshun
    February 19th, 2013 @ 12:09 PM

    “Oh, wait, let me take that back. If someone is an illegal alien, then the lowest to middle tier jobs are available to them, but not Americans. Unfortunately, that’s the way it is.

    US politicians have so much contempt for Americans that I wonder why people continue to re-elect these folks.”

    THIS

    I am feeling this all day long, tomorrow, and the day after that. I get enraged every time I think about it.

    I know a WM Republican at that who has 2 children who graduated college. They have been sending out 40 CVs a week for over a year and a half… No Response. And they have degrees in hard sciences. I could tell stories. There are so many who are new grads who can’t get their foot in the door and others who are older and have years of experience who are being forced out of the workforce completely due to age discrimination.

    There are professionals who tell the “visa war stories” about how immigrants in tech and math etc push wages down so far its ridiculous. Long story short…one techie told me that he used to earn 100k+ with all of his experience, education, and certifications. Then they brought in the visa hires and bumped his pay down to 70k a year. Then he was fired. They offered him his job back, but only at 30k. He said that 30k was the pay offered to those who only had a certain beginner certifications and he was 2-3 levels beyond that.

    There is a simmering anti immigrant sentiment in my area both from Blacks and Whites. Overtly it tends to be focused on Mexicans, but when it comes to professionals – its all inclusive.

    And do people know how freaking hard it is to immigrate to other countries? I have been going over these skills assessments online and the financial and other requirements and other countries do not play. America seems to be the only place where you can just show up and plop down and “its ok”.

    In some places if you just show up you can be sent to prison indefinitely and their prisons are they kind where if your family isn’t sending you money or food – then you just don’t eat and die.

    GoldenAh: Wherever there is an industry that seems to pay American workers “too much money” – politicians and big business titans (like Bill Gates) get together and find ways to undercut them. Oh my goodness, the HB1, and there’s another called an L-1, visa is a prime example of this abuse. Back when the newspapers did investigative reporting – there were stories about the kind of scams these programs produced. I’ve seen it up close and personal: the people they bring from overseas lie about every skill they have so much it’s funny, but the firms cover it up with a few that do know something. It’s all about the billing hours they can get for their people.

    It’s also ridiculous to hear any employer state he cannot find people when the USA has the 3rd highest population on the planet. We’s got errybody. If they were willing to pay a bit for relocation and allowed for some training, there wouldn’t be any problems. I mean they are willing to take people from half-way around the world, why not from the other side of the country?

    I don’t know what the kids and the guy searching for many weeks have been doing, but people have to be creative these days. If they are former or have a desire to be tech workers, I’d suggest the following (if they haven’t done it already): incorporate, create / test and play w/ some mobile apps – Google has an entire section on this, and try to do some work – free at first, and then get around to consulting with small firms. Companies do not look at people until they look like they are doing something – it doesn’t matter what it is.

    I added that just in case other folks out there are looking for some answers. Hope it helps….

  17. Oshun
    February 19th, 2013 @ 12:13 PM

    “As for Obama and black women: he’s probably the first President we’ve had in a while, who has so much power, does as he pleases (ignoring the Constitution) and, unlike Bush, is not held at fault or responsible for any of his decisions. He cannot be criticized, scrutinized or evaluated. He can do no wrong. It’s mind boggling, but he’s got that black male trump card, which means you cannot say anything to people who idolize him, esp. black women.”

    “It became CRYSTAL clear to me what was going on w/ bw and the Democratic Party when I saw Susan Rice and Sherry Sherrod get thrown under the bus by their own.”

    This and this…

    I have no political affiliation whatsoever anymore. I would say more about this country as a whole, but I don’t want to get on any “list”.

  18. JaliliMaster
    February 19th, 2013 @ 1:30 PM

    The hypocrisy is disgusting. I will NOT be voting for another Clinton in 2016, but I fear bw will follow the Messiah’s orders and vote for her anyways…
    ….Please feel free to do a political post!!! You have a lot of bw out here, especially the 20-somethings like myself, who are finally coming to their senses. The status quo is no longer acceptable.

    The democrats complacency and arrogance may well cost them the WH in 2016. They believe that Hillary is a shoe in, but this is far from the truth. Afterall, didn’t they think she was a shoe-in for 2008, and she didn’t even manage to get the nomination! Younger voters are just not enamoured with her. All this pro-Hillary lovefest is mostly an older, mainly WW thing. They are her ‘fanbase’. Them, along with the Democratic party machine. The Dems cannot see that the ‘Obama coalition’ that got him elected & re-elected is not a Dem party coalition. They are just not going to come out and vote in anywhere as near numbers when Obama is no longer on the ballot (case in point,the 2010 mid-terms and the fact that in 2012, Democrat Reps/Senators/Governors were unable to win many states & precints that Obama won).

    Khadija wrote a post some years ago, predicting how the Obama presidency would go, with regards to Black folks. She was pretty accurate.

    On immigration, I don’t believe that the US immigration system is ‘broken’, it is just not being enforced. America already has the most liberal immigration policies of any country I know, yet, it also has the biggest and worst problem when it comes to illegal immigration. Why folks are reluctant to make the connection……! Besides, in most other countries, it takes more than just being born there to become a citizen, even in other countries such as Australia, NZ etc, that have a similar history of a small indigenous population remaining but the majority all being the decendants of immigrants. I understand America’s history is part of the reason why, and that it’s part of the constitution, but when stuff no longer works, you have to do away with it. There should be some sort of requirement that atleast one parent must be a citizen or must have been resident (legally) in the country for a significant length of time before the child can be granted automatic citizenship due only to the fact that they were born there!

    Finally, people should be aware of the real reason the dems are pushing for this amnesty programme (that is, in essence, what it is). They believe that most of these folks are Dem voters, so want to legalise them and get a lock-in for political power. If they felt that most of these folks would end up as Republicans, they would be arguing against legalisation, saying that they are looking out for working class Americans. It seems that people elected politicians who, in turn, are shivving their own constituents for illegals!

    GoldenAh: I would like for there to be 2 to 3 additional parties – no matter how small – to keep the “main” ones in line. There is an unhealthy concentration of power happening where these two “main” parties are so corrupt they cannot see straight. There’s nothing in the Constitution that mandates a two-party system; the two of them worked it so that the fix is in. It needs to be broken up.

    I don’t see Hillary getting anywhere either. She’s like the old g/f that gets dumped every time a guy sees a new honey come into town. He really doesn’t want her, but she makes herself available whenever he’s bored.

  19. Oshun
    February 22nd, 2013 @ 6:24 PM

    “And Oshun, you have a good heart. Don’t change that about yourself. ”

    Thanks Goldie! :)

    “And yes, I would kick them when they are down. ”

    LOL..too funny! :)

    Update:

    My aunt called and thanked me profusely! I was shocked. She eventually got the guidelines I sent her and she has lost 5 pounds her first week! She said even her doctors were amazed! She is under constant monitoring by her doctors and they couldn’t believe it. So I am hoping she sticks to it!

    GoldenAh: Why that’s wonderful! I’m glad to see that’s worked out. One step at a time, right?

  20. Oshun
    February 28th, 2013 @ 4:35 PM

    Update:

    My aunt has lost even more weight. She can now fit into one size smaller. I did do another email to offer her some more tips (bit by bit) and I sent it last week and I gave her two recipes that I have tested and tried many times.

    I talk to her today and come to find out that her daughter didn’t even tell her that I sent her another email and now is acting like she doesn’t have time to get it to her mom. Wow.

  21. Oshun
    February 28th, 2013 @ 4:39 PM

    Also, I know that some high schools have programs that allow students to graduate with an Associate’s degree.

    My old high school which offered gifted/AP classes is now offering a Bachelors program. Internationally recognized. I heard it on the radio. How they are doing this I don’t know. I don’t know all the details….

    But I am thinking BGs need to be steered into competitive programs like this. The cost savings I am sure have to be huge and this would give them a huge leg up…

  22. Oshun
    March 1st, 2013 @ 12:02 PM

    @ Goldie…

    I missed this:

    “Wherever there is an industry that seems to pay American workers “too much money” – politicians and big business titans (like Bill Gates) get together and find ways to undercut them. Oh my goodness, the HB1, and there’s another called an L-1, visa is a prime example of this abuse.

    It’s also ridiculous to hear any employer state he cannot find people when the USA has the 3rd highest population on the planet. We’s got errybody. If they were willing to pay a bit for relocation and allowed for some training, there wouldn’t be any problems. I mean they are willing to take people from half-way around the world, why not from the other side of the country?”

    These are the stories that I am hearing from those in STEM. I am told from engineers etc that there are enough of them, but they aren’t being hired. Particularly, the ones who do have extensive experience.

    Which is frightening because all we hear is that there are not enough people in STEM. To me, this can only mean they are trying to produce a glut to bust the wages.

    “I’ve seen it up close and personal: the people they bring from overseas lie about every skill they have so much it’s funny, but the firms cover it up with a few that do know something. It’s all about the billing hours they can get for their people.”

    Why go through that much trouble? Why be so Anti American?

  23. Oshun
    March 21st, 2013 @ 10:47 AM

    Hi Goldie

    I answered my own question about being anti American. A new report just came out about the guestworker program and how many of the employees are exploited.

    The McDonald’s story in NY was just the tip of the iceberg. Some of the violations were:

    1. Workers must pay their own way here often taking out personal/family loans or loans against their future wages from employers. Sometimes they are asked to provide deeds or titles to property they own back home to be held as collateral.

    2. They are placed in camps (sometimes apartments, truck trailers, etc) that are stuffed over capacity without proper heat, air, running water, adequate toilets and showers. These living quarters are staffed with armed guards and they are not allowed to go anywhere or talk to anyone unassisted.

    3. Many times they are charged living expenses for living in these conditions. This is withheld from pay. When they arrive they are told that there is currently no work available and so they rack up huge debts to the employer for housing and food. So when they do begin work they are already in the hole.

    4. They are denied medical care. Their pay is docked as punishment for sustaining on the job injuries.

    5. Their passports, visas, and other important documents are withheld. If they threaten to leave/report abuse – their documents are shredded and the are placed in jail/detention centers/ or deported.

    6. Women are often raped and sexually abused- repeatedly.

    7. When they do work their wages are often less than what was earned, no overtime, and sometimes the are not paid at all.

    8. They may be forced to work 12-16 hours or more a day with no breaks/meals.

    I could go on and on. Most of these companies are mid to large size business that wish to skirt union wages/living wages to Americans. I am just boggled that this kind of abuse is going on.

    GoldenAh: There was a farmer’s market near me that had these kind of slave-condition violations. The thing is, it was one immigrant group exploiting another. I think we sometimes have to consider why stuff is so cheap at some stores, because the labor is being exploited so badly.

    That’s why I get mad hearing about the need for high carbon, energy and income taxes. All this government needs to do is ensure that citizens don’t have sub-wage competition, and that takes care of these other issues. If more citizens were paid a fair salary the income taxes would take care of themselves. And without having immigrants working at sub-wages, they wouldn’t need so many social benefits and that applies to citizens as well.

  24. Oshun
    March 21st, 2013 @ 11:20 AM

    Also here are some tips I wanted to provide to BW who are seeking work the traditional way bc you don’t have a side hustle (which you should) or its not working out.. and need to skirt a few things.

    1. If your name is not mainstream (and you haven’t changed it yet, consider using your initials on your resume. I have heard some who say this works. For example, if your name is LaTasha Smith, use L. Smith instead. If you get the chance for an interview use the mainstream name (that you would probably legally change your name to) during your introductions etc. Only use you birth name when necessary for legal purposes.

    2. If you haven’t fled yet, this is one of the peace wall issues. Employers are googling addresses and this can keep you our of a job despite your experience, qualifications, education etc.. So you have two options. Get a mail drop at the UPS store or other similar store. Get the smallest cheapest one you can find located in a better neighborhood and use that as your resume address. You can always call to see if you have mail available to avoid costly gas trips. Or leave your addy off your resume entirely and only list only your cell phone or electronic means to contact you.

    3. Speaking of cell phone. Cell phone data can pull up addy data so if you can, try to get a different cell phone not connected to your address. Go prepaid specifically for this purpose or if you have good internet access look into VOIP options that may be nearly free. It will require some work to find and configure the best option, but as long as it gets you to where you need to be…

    4. Online presence. Obviously you have to watch what you say and do online. I am appalled at what some negros comment, post, and follow online while providing their real names, schools, places of employment, and photos of themselves in the process. Don’t do this and don’t friend/follow people who do. If you have to engage in chicanery then at least have the common sense to do so under a dummy name and account. Do not post half naked/questionable photos, don’t associate with others who do so, don’t engage in verbal battles, curse or anything that could post you in a negative light. I would even say stay away from political hotbed discussions online.

    Its also not enough to stay away from negatives online, but depending on your field employers are looking for positives in the form of Klout scores. Meaning your level of influence on others. So you have to pretty much brand yourself and figure out ways to gain influence and get a good Klout ranking.

    5. Finally, I have heard that filling out EEOC information honestly can harm you. Remember most HR Depts are made up of WW. Who may or may not have ridden the short bus to school. So I was told by several BW in my family in HR – please don’t shoot the messenger, to consider checking White if you want more callbacks and interviews.

    GoldenAh: Excellent advice, Oshun. There are companies looking at everything about their potential and current employees online, esp. in social media. It is even being used in criminal cases like the T. Martin case down in Florida. They are using his social media profile to find out the kid’s mindset, and the defense will use it.

    Whether we like it or not, and even if it’s not an aspect of our personality, a BW has to be shiny, bright, articulate and scintillating at every job interview. That’s the game we must play. Yeah, I never fill out the race / gender questions either.

    And I think if someone wants to “play” online with their “real identity” they should be in Linkdin or build a website that shows off whatever talents they have.

  25. Oshun
    April 1st, 2013 @ 8:36 PM

    I just made an awesome Paleo Easter meal! I am still getting compliments. And I made ice cream for the first time without – milk or sugar or using any nasty ingredients and it tasted exactly the same!

    GoldenAh: That sounds delicious. I like the idea of avoiding milk, sugar or any processed foods. I consider those the deadliest ingredients in a meal.

    Although I’m saying it late, hope you had a great Easter.

  26. Dreadnaught
    April 4th, 2013 @ 1:45 PM

    well since this is a open topic,

    my best friend Mark is bringing his GF ( who is Black) on her very first camping trip with us. She has stated on several occassions, Black People do – Camp, Hunt, Fish, Crab, drink home made wine.

    So I am curious do any of you ladies get into the outdoor life

    GoldenAh: Oh yeah, she’s kinda correct. It’s more likely with people living in rural areas or the deep south. Urban areas just cuts people off from these kinds of experiences, unless one deliberately goes out to seek it.

    Can’t speak for anyone else, but the times I went “camping” included a cabin with modern facilities. That’s about as far as I’ll go. :D Although it can be located deep into the woods as roads will allow. Never hunted or did any fishing, but did get to enjoy freshly caught fish: absolutely delish!

  27. Dreadnaught
    April 5th, 2013 @ 2:54 PM

    suppose to be dont’*

  28. Dreadnaught
    April 9th, 2013 @ 10:21 AM

    the experince was unique to say the least….I had fun, I do not think she did, but she tried

    GoldenAh: You guys totally roughed it? Like tents and stuff? Or was it semi-modern with a cabin?

  29. Dreadnaught
    April 10th, 2013 @ 10:20 AM

    tents, we canoed a hour upstream to a spot we camp at alot. Its beautiful, not really remote but it feels like it, there is a vulture perserve near by, good fishing, lots of wildlife.

    A great place to remind yourself of the beauty of the world. next weekend…we go crabbing and claming and musseling.

    GoldenAh: Nice. And the weather is still decent too. I’m frightened of that kind of wilderness, but I suppose people get used to it.

  30. Dreadnaught
    April 15th, 2013 @ 8:28 AM

    haha GoldeAh, thats how I feel about the city, despite growing up in it, I hate it so much

    GoldenAh: I grew up in Brooklyn. When the neighborhood lost that everybody took care of everybody feeling, I was happy to leave. Never really encountered it again, maybe it was just the times.

  31. ceramika Koło
    October 9th, 2013 @ 7:47 AM

    Today, I went to the beachfront with my children.
    I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and
    said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.”
    She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab
    inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to
    go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I had to tell
    someone!

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