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Victimizing Black Women: NY Times Thinks Cure for Black Women and Black Family Poverty is “Let Em Out of Jail”

Posted on | February 18, 2013 | 44 Comments

According to the “experts” they sought out for this article, black males have been locked up for far too long. If you want to read an institutional and media driven message – that hurts black women – the following NY Times article is a prime example:

It’s so full of wrong, it’s hard to summarize where to begin.

I would like to see all these “educated” social scientists relocate to areas where the ex-cons are. I bet there’d hardly be any takers. Yet, according to them the factors for the condition of black women is too precious. It believes the “real” problem for black women, in not finding enough black men only is because they are mostly in jail.

And that they are there longer than necessary.

Defying Common Sense: He Never Was Home

There are several issues we have to overlook just to give us this “get out of jail early” logic. There is no position that they are innocent parties unfairly accused of crimes who do not belong in prison. There is no position exploring why they refuse to graduate from high school, which would be the first and most immediate step out of poverty. There is no position that they should refrain, with some pretense at morality, from pursuing a life of criminal activity, which is harming others, in the first place.

Oh no, the crux of the article is that long term jail sentences are making things worse for single black women, because the men are taken out of the neighborhood. Thereby depriving her the means of a second income to provide for the family.

The assumption is that if the black male was present, he would be of some assistance.

Seriously? Seriously? Come on! Black males made themselves irrelevant, absenting themselves from the black nuclear family years ago, and it didn’t start with the war on drugs. They were abandoning their wives and children many years before that. Black women were able to stop the slide into poverty by finishing school, relocating to better neighborhoods and raising their children alone with middle class jobs.

They Don’t Care About Black Women

What the article doesn’t want to acknowledge is the total destruction this economy has wrought on the single black mother, who used to be able to manage. Now, these same people who used to hail black single motherhood are pretending to be concerned that she’s out there doing it all by herself.

Yet, not one paragraph is devoted to suggesting maybe black women – in order to improve their lives – should relocate to low crime, mixed neighborhoods with better gender ratios and seek opportunities with men who are not black. Mobility would also cure their own poverty.

Everybody has to go to where the jobs are.

This article was so messy, I thought I was reading Essence magazine. The black media will heartily gobble this up, spreading this manure far and wide. I can imagine how the pressure (as usual) will be applied: black women gotta stay in the hood and “struggle” with the incarcerated “brothas”. Do they still call these negroes “freedom fighters” or “political prisoners”? I haven’t read black media in such a long time, I’ve forgotten.

I like how the article fails to mention that black males are the number one killers of black women. She wouldn’t be alive to “struggle” with him anyhow.

There are good reasons why he’s in jail. And it’s a myth that black women are hurt by his incarceration. It is the justice system working as it should when criminals are locked up. How do black women benefit from sociopaths roaming the neighborhood creating havoc? Anyone read the number of black people who die in places like Chicago and Philly everyday?

Step Away From the Hot Mess

Despite the amount of ink devoted to the issue black women and black men are not tied at the hip, inseparable since birth, belong to each other or cannot live without one another. Black women have and will do fine: there are other men around. The oceans are very deep and wide. There’s plenty of fish there.

Black males with good jobs increasingly are marrying interracially. Those who are living the good life have decided on participating in the main stream without black women. They certainly do not miss us.

Remember, the first step for black women in moving towards a better life is getting out of a bad neighborhood. That’s common sense. But people don’t want to provide black women with this kind of life saving advice. Per their logic, we should sit, smolder and rot in hell along with black males who lack any sense of morality, decency or ability to function like a normal man.

This particular NY Times story may have a “happy ending”, but imagine having a predator back in the neighborhood with nothing to lose? That guy is not going to be the ideal spouse for any woman. And these people have a nerve recommending, suggesting or even thinking that that is good enough for the average black woman.

She deserves better than that.

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44 Responses to “Victimizing Black Women: NY Times Thinks Cure for Black Women and Black Family Poverty is “Let Em Out of Jail””

  1. Truth P.
    February 19th, 2013 @ 10:35 AM

    Unfortunately,there are too many people that believe if you had black men back in the home black children would fare better.This is problematic because a father simply being in the home with the children and not contributing in positive ways will not save the black family or the already dead black community.I think there comes a point where people have to realize that people with no morals and values just aren’t fit to parent and that too many DBR’s are making kids.I have a relative who has a live in baby daddy and it is because of him that her children were almost taken away and that the children had been injured while she was away at work.This could be said for many other women I see who are not married to the child’s father but he is living with them and is not helping make things better but actually making it worse.

    We see how in some suburban black communities where there is a majority of two parent homes the children fail academically and domestic violence is rampant.

    I keep hearing liberals such as Bill Maher claim that the drug laws are bad and should be changed so that more black men can be let out of prison.My problem with that is many of these men don’t value human life at all.To let them out of jail would prove deadly to thousands of people.I have also said how I never met a drug dealer that only dealt drugs.Many of them were pedophiles,murderers,and bullies/abusive to law abiding gun-less citizens.When I think of the saying God works in mysterious ways, I think about how if it hadn’t been for the drug and gun laws many of the men that tried to prey on my friends,and the man that impregnated my best friend at 12 years old,would not be behind bars.

    I caution black women who have this mindset that more black men in the home would mean better situations for their children.I wholeheartedly believe that in more instances than not it will be worse.If you couple the fact that many of these men don’t value human life at all, with the specific disdain they have for black women, it could prove deadly spiritually and physically for many of them to welcome these men back with open arms.

    GoldenAh: Excellent and so on point! Thank you for your comment, Truth P. You truly complement and add depth to my post. And you said it all, These men (and you are being kind calling them that) do not value human life at all.

    The NY Times article, along with its supporters, pushing for early release and relenting of hard time for these guys want to pretend that their crimes have no victims. The only way someone could believe this is to pretend that the harm against black girls / women doesn’t account for anything. Compared to the outrage over cruelty to dogs (by Michael Vick, football player), I’d say yeah, that just about sums it up. Our lives have less value than dogs in the eyes of certain opinion makers.

    My goal in pointing out this article was to show how insidious, amoral and deadly ideas – backed by “learned professionals” and disguised as “science” – can creep into the mainstream as viable options for us, but would never be recommended for any other group of (valued) women.

  2. Oshun
    February 19th, 2013 @ 12:54 PM

    “Black women have and will do fine: there are other men around. The oceans are very deep and wide. There’s plenty of fish there.

    Black males with good jobs increasingly are marrying interracially. Those who are living the good life have decided on participating in the main stream without black women. They certainly do not miss us.”

    I saw this up close. I am a member of multiple online forums. On one forum dedicated to upward mobility/life enhancement there are 2 upwardly mobile BM there. Most of the people on the boards are White. No one knows my race. Each member can have a thread where they “journal” their experiences with the coaching, tips, and techniques given – whether dealing with finances, jobs, relationships etc and you can get support feedback, new info, even some networking in real life etc..

    The first BM was lamenting that he wanted to marry. He works with the military earns 400k a year. Travels extensively. All the women he dates have been white, but he says he is bothered that no BW will talk to him. He kept going on and on about BW and their so called lack of interest. Then he goes “someplace” and said that he was impressed that he met some BW who were fit, had manners, and interested in him etc.

    So he and this BW “hit it off” and he claims that he is so excited etc.. She is 19 fresh out of high school and he is 31. He goes on and on about her behavior how she dotes/loves him as their relationship progresses etc.

    Long story short he basically pumps and dumps her. He expressed gratitude that his job moved him away – which he knew was going to happen (but he didn’t tell her)even after meeting her family and oh well she will just have to deal with the fallout as he wasn’t going to be living there alone anyway.

    Then he admitted that he only used her to satisfy his curiosity about BW- yes a BM said this. And now he was free to get back to what he really likes – blondes.

    So now he has moved on to blonde women from third world countries and has the audacity to be disgusted that they expect something from him financially. Keep in mind that he approaches them with the I am seeking marriage – line.

    I am leaving a lot out, but the way he set the BW up was so calculated and cruel… and he an the other BM poster joked with one another about how he steered this girl into womanhood the right way. Did I mention she was a virgin?

    My heart went out to her. They didn’t steer her into womanhood – they are making her bitter and hardening her heart.

    I was just floored that they would discuss exploiting women like this or even indulge in the negative stereotypes about BW like this..on a forum like this…in front of the white folks

    So now he has moved on to another BW victim – while rotating his blonde victims. He had several bleeding ulcers and they had to take part of his intestines.

    Long story short, a BW whom he met on a base while working his current job put on her superwoman cape and came to his rescue and took care of him throughout his illness. Cooking, cleaning, washing, and taking care of his affairs. He even moved her- along with his mother into a home near where the hospital was.

    They all thought he was on his death bed so he marries her in the hospital, but makes her sign a pre-nup. After the marriage she expresses that she has issues with the pre-nup. His health improves some – so he annuls the marriage and puts her out of the house. He is still in the hospital and is talking about how he is skirt chasing and having sex with the nurses.

    I am just done. This stuff is really cruel and very calculated. That someone sits and plots to break down another human being – women at that in this way. And they have no remorse about it at all. Hey I just destroyed another BW, but who cares…at least I’m, winning.

    So um yeah…nothing good will come from BW associating with BM of any stripe and especially not those who are criminals and criminally minded.

    GoldenAh: I gotta admit, I was stunned the first time I read this. I cannot believe someone so evil could exist. There are no words to describe this kind of foulness.

    Oshun, you have been reading my mind again. I was wondering over the last weekend if there are “men” who are deliberately going around hurting women. Well, when you posted this you certainly answered my thoughts. I always question myself as to whether my observations about these cretinous troglodytes have been too harsh. Overall, it turns out I’ve been using a light touch – I’m too gentle. 🙂

    I hope the girl in question turns out well. She has to guard her heart, but I hope it doesn’t change her into a bitter person. Otherwise, that animal has won. He should never be her last “man”.

    Interesting how the other black women had a sixth sense about how evil this guy is. And one thing I want to add, which I don’t assume happened with these women. I’ve only been able to avoid guys like these due to one reason: they actually tell you how evil they are if one listens carefully. I know that’s not always the case. But some of these guys love to talk so much about what they are all about, but I think women like to tell themselves, “Well, with me, he’s gonna be different.” I had a gf who went with a guy who she knew liked to give his women “love taps”. It wasn’t until he slapped her that she saw the light (stars, circling planets, halos, etc).

    And sometimes we, as black women, get browbeat by other bw about being too “fussy”. I cannot stand that. I prefer to trust my gut than have someone tell me I need to accept something that’s “off”.

  3. Oshun
    February 19th, 2013 @ 12:56 PM

    BTW..I have a strong feeling that either this guy will be dead or severely crippled by the time he is in his 40s.

    GoldenAh: Oshun, I think you may have mentioned this kind of guy in the past. He’ll be in church hunting for a victim when he’s sick and old. He’ll find “Jesus”, sitting in church hoping someone young(er), dumb and desperate will take care of him, because he’ll be able to play he’s a “good black man”. Hey, he’s done it already, right?

  4. LMH
    February 19th, 2013 @ 5:42 PM

    The flawed logic in the linked article is simply mind-boggling! Instead of rehashing all the things wrong with how these poeple think I will just throw a few words out there that can make all the difference in a person’s life if applied with any regularity. CHOICES, RESPONSIBILITY, PLAN(ning), HARD-WORK…

    GoldenAh: Your emphasis on what are the right things to do, cannot be said too many times. We have to think about the things we can control, while mess is being thrown at us. It’s all about swerving out of the path of the debris on the road.

    There are gonna be people who will take that article, massage it a few times just to make this conclusive steaming pile of turd smell nice: that black women need to hook up with ex-cons, ’cause it helps her too!

    Thanks for the feedback, LMH.

  5. Nysee
    February 19th, 2013 @ 8:41 PM

    Dear Betty,
    Black women, the black man hates us. Plain and simple. I know they see the images of the president and think that how the black man feels about his woman. NO!, NO!, NO!.We all have heard of white flight.Will they allow the BM who left prison to live next door to them?
    Black women , no one wants to be rejected and so to say they a person hates you does seem pretty harsh. Ihen I was around 21, I maxed out my credit cards for this guy who had a gambling problem and then he was abusive because I did not help him. Black women ,FLEE, FLEE, FLEE. We have the jobs so we can naivgate a little better and your children need to be in a school they do not have to worry if someone is going to shoot at them and do them harm after school. Please expand your dating options. my cousin got accepted in to Harvard and she applied for a school in London,. I asked her did she want to go and she said that her mother did not want her to travel that far.
    Please encourage your daughters to explore all of their options.

    GoldenAh: Great advice, Nysee. Good luck to your cousin, I hope she enjoys every opportunity that comes her way.

  6. Nysee
    February 19th, 2013 @ 8:49 PM

    Dea Betty,
    pt. 2, this will be shorter.
    1. Black women explore other safer areas ,I know crime happens everywhere but when your life is being threaten , meaning you fear going to the corner store because you do not know if you will make it back flee.
    2. Ask around , your help will come from non-black people beacause people will help you and some may not be so black male identified.
    3.If you have to produce a side income , please do so because your life is too valuable and your childrens lives are to.
    4.Stop supporting these Black churhes and ONLY SUPPORT PEOPLE AND THINGS THAT LIFT YOU UP TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
    donate to Betty Chambers site and buy books from fellow BWE, who you know are about your interests because maintain a blog is work and we will shwo them how we appreciate them through actions and spreading the good word.
    They have the good news that is worth spreading.
    Sorry for the long post and thanks Betty for being a terrific and great blog hostess.

    GoldenAh: I can’t find it now, but there is a website where you can locate where sex offenders and the like are mostly residing. It is an eye opener. I’d recommend that anyone looking for a new place might be able to find it on those real estate websites, esp. if they list where the quality schools are.

    Yeah, I found my first apartment from the white (male) co-workers at work. They were nearly terrified that I was going to end up moving into a bad neighborhood. I valued their advice, cause I didn’t know anything at the time.

    I’d also like for us to make a short want / desire list – things you want, and you’re willing to challenge yourself to get (done), before the year’s end. Rewarding the self is one of the best treats for being bold. Of course, I need to do the same.

    Spring is coming, I hear the bird chirping merrily. 😀

  7. Christa
    February 19th, 2013 @ 9:59 PM

    Reminds me of OJ and Nicole. He threw his black wife away as soon as he met Nicole (He was 30 – She was 18 when they first met) by having an affair before divorcing. Barely paid child support. But pampered Nicole and her family with anything she wanted. And you see how that marriage turned out. And even after he was accused of murder. His first wife still pathetically supported him despite the way he treated her.

    During the trial. When the jurors went to OJ’s house. It was said that they replaced a nude painting of his white girlfriend with a reproduction of Norman Rockwell’s painting of Ruby Bridges being escorted to school in the Little Rock desegregation struggle. Another black man using black people’s struggle for civil rights to get him out of trouble.

    And Johnnie Cochran is a sellout for defending a spoiled black man who beat his wife and eventually killed her. Even if black men don’t tell black women – ‘I’m never going to marry you. I’m just using you until someone better or non black comes along. I want you to do all the work in the relationship.

    And if you complain. I’ll leave you for a more submissive or non black woman.’ They can see what black men are doing to them. These black women are so in denial. It’s pathetic. This has been happening for decades. How some black men use black women as a placeholder until their dream non black woman comes along. These NBABM and GATDL black women know these black men don’t treat them right.

    Refusing to marry them. Man sharing. Calling them goldiggers when they ask for anything. Not doing their share or bringing anything to the relationship in terms of financially or with education etc. Until these NBABM black women step out of denial. They will always be gamed by DBR black men.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Problem_We_All_Live_With

  8. Oshun
    February 19th, 2013 @ 11:30 PM

    I must admit that I didn’t read the article. I just took Betty’s word. So I went back and did. I think this is pathetic.

    The picture at the top says it all. He is turned away from her looking out into the sunset while she is holding on to him for dear life, with her eyes closed …so trusting, looking like her head is about to explode from the ecstasy/desperation of it all.

    I noticed that the article said that he made 8.25 an hour. That is good considering he is an ex con with only a H.S. diploma and he is in his late 40’s. I am willing to bet that even if he were not an ex con he would still earn about that much.

    They are trying to buy a house. With those prospects and that work history. She had been homeless due to him. They are going to die in poverty and have to work for the rest of their lives. If the marriage lasts that long bc of the financial strain. Or knock on wood – no one sustains an injury as menial/hard labor is very hard on the body.

    I believe that he as many BM is only with her bc he is stuck. That is his only choice. If he didn’t have a record and could break the 8.25 barrier – she and his adult kids would be history.

    Anyway…everyone else has made excellent points. Some of these men need to be incarcerated. Just because they are in the community doesn’t mean they are going to marry/support the children.

    In general…I relayed that story (above) because I knew about DBRs and I knew they hated BW…but I thought it was a more reactionary/instinctual thing. Not that it makes it any better.

    I had no idea that these men were so calculating in the way they plan to harm BW. This really drives home how amoral, evil, and dangerous these men are.

  9. FlowerDuet
    February 20th, 2013 @ 5:59 AM

    “I would like to see all these “educated” social scientists relocate to areas where the ex-cons are. I bet there’d hardly be any takers. ”

    I would like to see all the educated people MARRY any of these ex-cons. Of course it’s peddled to black women that we should be accepting of any old piece of dirt black man. Whether or not he’s violent, uneducated, a dead beat or a criminal. And yet the same people who are purporting that black women put their lives at risk are never the ones doing it themselves.

    GoldenAh: Good point, since in the NE anybody can marry whomever they like. Maybe some of those male social scientists should try reforming these fellows. Let them risk their own lives for a change.

  10. KimP
    February 20th, 2013 @ 12:23 PM

    As far as I’m concerned, more BM need to be in prison. I don’t know if you’ve heard about the big story on Detroit’s 11k backlog of rape kits. Most of the victims are BW with BM perps, which probably explains the backlog in the first place, so there are several BM who are still roaming free and wreaking havoc. The last thing BW need is more of them roaming around.

    GoldenAh: No, I didn’t about the backlog. Although I am not surprised. I had read most of the these big cities have been under-reporting or reclassifying some categories in order to make the crime stats look good.

    Excellent points, KimP. Thanks for your comment.



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