Decepticons: The Jason Collins Story and Wasting Years of Your Life Waiting on Him

Long-winded title, but hoping you get the point.

Maybe you’ve heard about it. Maybe you’ve been blissfully unaware of the hullabaloo that’s dominated the mainstream media for a couple of days.

See, what happened is an NBA baller (snicker) earned his 15 minutes of fame by declaring that he is – wait for it – wait for it – “gay.” Such an interesting euphemism. However, this is the deal: Jason Collins realizes that he enjoys, prefers and wants to have SEX, MAKE LOVE and HAVE RELATIONSHIPS with other men.

And he truly believes we, meaning everybody on the planet, needed to know this. Whamp. Whamp. (Sound of sad trumpet blaring.)

After I stopped laughing over the last few days, my hands were steady enough to compose this post. Ay, yay yay.


He Was Afraid of What Now?

Jason Collins is 7 feet tall. He’s a multimillionaire. He attended Stanford University. He knows the Clintons, Obama and other elites. That’s a big, powerful, well connected and wealthy closet he chose to climb out of.

So, I just wanna ask: How could anybody so ridiculously massive and intimidating claim to be fearful of being “gay” in this day and age? I mean, someone is gonna talk smack to a big black guy nearly 300 lbs in weight? LOL.

This is ridiculous.

Our Pretender-In-Chief, The Man Who Never Stops Campaigning

Obama felt the need to thrust himself into this particular spotlight by calling on this cloistered, privileged, bench-warming and obscure NBA player. He had to congratulate him on being a homosexual. That’s important. Really, really important. Glad to know what the President’s priorities are. ‘Cause it’s not like he’s able to work with Congress. It’s not like he can focus on the economy. He’s got better things to do. Like playing golf, shooting hoops, coming up with those all-important March-madness brackets, etc.

He shows us he can focus: Michelle once complained that she was a “single mother.” Totally understandable. He’s a busy man.

And at the press conference he needed to mention it again. There are homosexuals and lesbians playing professional sports. Who’da thunkit?

Maybe at the start of each game, as they introduce the players, announcers can add: “Welcome player number zero, OchinoDumbo. He’s a heterosexual from Baltimore, with 12 children from his 5 baby mommas. Yet, on long trips, he can be delightfully bi-curious.”

Waiting 8 Years on a DeceptiCon

The part of this story that I find interesting is who got the stiff (oh, wrong word), er, raw end of this deal. Seems that Jason had a white woman, whose name is Moos (I am not making this up), that he DATED for 8 YEARS. Even was engaged to be married to.

Now, ain’t this a blip?

This relationship didn’t end when he was a young man, maybe still confused, torn or excited. This dude was about 30, if not older, when he changed his mind. But he rode (oh, wrong word again), used this woman as his golden beard for 8 long years, while he thought, supposedly agonized, and mulled it over.

Meanwhile, she said on one of those interviews that she, “Had a script of how life was going to be”, or something to that extent.

What the Problem Is

It is NOT that he’s (finally) admitted he enjoys the sweet, sweet taste of sweaty scrotum. No, not at all. More people should be honest – they just don’t have to tell the whole world. No one really cares. The issue is that Jason Collins deceived a woman, used her youth, her fertility, her time and her mental “scripting” while he knew he was living a lie.

That is down low behavior, which is foul and the heart of how a DeceptiCon behaves. It ain’t right.

Now, people may sympathize with his conflicts, or situations, but it doesn’t mean he had to drag her into it. And for such a long time.

Ms Moos is partly at fault as well. You don’t hang onto a man for that long. I don’t care if you knew him from way back when, like in high school or college. At some point, you either cut bait or reel him in. I know, I know, she was waiting for the “pay off.” And the cynic in me feels that, she would have been satisfied being married to a man who occasionally played for the other team. Discretely, of course.

Well, that kind of arrangement is nothing new. She wouldn’t have mind, because she’d have the money, status and “stability.” Plus, a divorce or alimony would have been sufficient compensation for the “estrangement of affections.”

Black Women Get Reamed This Way Quite Often

My last bit of surprise is that this was a “well-educated good black man”, a.k.a. purple unicorn, pulling this kind of DeceptiCon on a white woman. Look, I won’t front, I honestly thought that when you see an IR couple, and it’s BM / WW, even if he’s gonna have his “issues” – he’s going to be genuinely attracted to her. You know, there’s that Mandingo, Snowbunny, Jungle Fever lust and “white women let me be a man” kind of thing going on.

This changes my perception, ’cause here we got a black guy who was being a DeceptiCon (on the down low) with a pretty blonde white woman for 8 years!!! This is the kind of thing that gets shrugged at if the woman is black. Does anyone really think the media would even be talking to a black ex-girlfriend about Jason Collins? Color me skeptical.

I noticed the media wasn’t sure how to handle Ms Moos: Was she a victim or will she play the sympathetic understanding woman? This involved competing angles: the 7 feet tall big black “gay” man vs a pretty blond ex-fiancee. I’d say Jason Collins got the slight edge. He won the homecoming queen crown of this event.

Shock and Oh Hell Naw

And what a gut punch that confession must have been for Ms Moos, which happened well before the media got full wind of it.

She wasted 8 years!!!! on a man who she now has to “replay those scripts in her head.” Those scripts where she thought he was a wonderful guy, because he NEVER cheated on her with those awful, skanky FEMALE basketball groupies. What a great and faithful guy she must have thought of her big black man. Now, she’s gotta be wondering about all those times he was out “balling” with his male friends. ‘Cause he spent so much time with his buddies, she never gave it a second thought.

I hope she’s gone through her battery of tests, being with a DeceptiCon can be deadly to a woman’s health.

Lessons for the Day

Doesn’t matter how much money he has, that pay day may never arrive.

If he’s hanging with his buddies too much, that niggling suspicious might be an accurate gut check.

A year, maybe even less, is really all you need to decide whether he’s marrying you or not. Anything longer and you are wasting your own time.

Shows that being in an IR doesn’t mean he cannot be a DeceptiCon. He might even feel more secure with his subterfuge.

And there is nothing HEROIC or COURAGEOUS about a man using a woman in such a cruel way to further his own means and ends. A man of any age can waste time, but a woman, unfortunately, cannot. Her time is of essence. It is her life and to use someone for that long a time shows a callousness that borders on being a sociopath.

So, it’s interesting to see that some black males, even when they get a hold of white women, are still a hot dysfunctional dishonest mess. He will be bringing all his baggage with him, that which he has always claimed belonged to black women.

How exhausting some of these men are.

And Congratulations to Mr Jason Collins!

You enjoy having sex with men. So do I. Welcome to the club. 😀



37 Replies to “Decepticons: The Jason Collins Story and Wasting Years of Your Life Waiting on Him”

  1. @keisha Hi, keisha. This:


    was pure sarcasm on the bw are too difficult/hard/emasculating excuse some bm give as their reason for not dating/not marrying bw/hating bw/not doing anything right by bw. For decades now several bm have given this excuse and many ppl, even bw, have bought this lie wholesale. However, folks are waking up seeing that we (bw) were never the problem at all.

    Jalilimaster’s post very well explains what I meant.

  2. KimP – Didn’t know you were being sarcastic. Its hard to tell online. Then I agree with you. Black men blaming black women’s behavior for not marrying them or treating them right. Black men being afraid to come out as gay, or staying in fake straight relationships with straight black women. Yes, black men blame black women for everything.

  3. @ Oshun

    I have been wanting to get back to this (and other) posts. But, I have been SOOO….BUSY.


    Yes, the hypocrisy of BM is MORE than ridiculous. It seems they garner a sense of self-worth, when they see BW being denied any appreciation or validation. It just befuddles me that they want to argue the reason they pursue relationships w/non-BW is because BW are so difficult to DEAL with.

    Well, since they have so much agreement and can see “eye to eye” with EACH OTHER, why do they STILL pursue non-blacks when they have a same-s e x orientation? THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS. I’m just ready for blacks to start calling things AS THEY ARE so that we can start dealing with THE TRUTH and teach our children FACTS rather than LIES.

    As a Protestant (who loves and respects others of different faiths), I, like Betty, have never really followed or pursued a deeper understanding of “New Age” beliefs. But, I notice there seems to be a major focus on SELF and SELF desires, wishes, etc. Nothing wrong with self-improvement and self-directed goals. I pursue the same. However, I do not understand how people do not see the linkage between a self-centered mindset and the usury, neglect, and disintegration of society as a whole. The things that we are “allowed” to do, as long as we don’t “hurt” anyone (and, how is the act of “hurting” defined) have some pretty detrimental impacts on our relationships with others as well as our own personal mores.

    For example, if it is okay for me sleep with a man in a consensual exchange, even though he is married/committed to another, as long as his partner/family doesn’t know/find out (i.e. get “hurt”), assuming his partner/family would NOT be amenable to this exchange, OF COURSE, WHAT does that action promote?

    Deception. Unfaithfulness. Breaking of commitments. Disregard for the needs of others. Desensitization.

    The list goes on.

    I, for one, believe that the character we build through each of our INDIVIDUAL actions/choices, over the course of time, influences all other areas of our lives. Learning to be deceitful/comfortable with deceit in one area will eventually spread to other areas in your life, as the presumed “need” arises. Same with fidelity, reliability, etc.

    This popular culture tries to teach people these things are not the case. This popular culture DISCOURAGES the development and usage of wisdom/discretion. This popular culture tries to teach people not to trust their “lying eyes”. It tries to socialize people into believing that having a set, consistent moral/ethical framework is oppressive and wrong.

    Now, I’m not arguing that ALL moral frameworks are acceptable, correct, or above criticism. ALL things, by which we choose to lead our lives, must/should be tested for merit. However, there IS such a thing as “RIGHT”. There IS such a thing as “WRONG”. And, they are not mere matters of WHIMSY. The next time some one wants to argue that they ARE, ask them if it would be okay for a random person to walk up and shoot them in the head, just because the random individual felt they were “morally justified” and had “a clear conscience”. If they roll their eyes and say “OF COURSE NOT”, they’ve negated THEIR OWN CLAIM to the “relativity” of morality, rightness/wrongness, or however one chooses to define such concepts.

    I’m glad someone else is able to see the DECAY wrapped up in the pretty packaging of “self-love” by today’s popular culture.

    Enjoy your day.

  4. @ Formavtiae

    Point taken.

    My personal issue with the New Age thinking and The Secret and others is that I think it encourages people to be “magical thinkers” and can be [is] used as a tool for abuse/control.

    If this line of thinking/spirituality works for some people – fine.

    But getting back to my criticisms…. I understand your point about New Agers and the focus on “self”. My point is related to “self”, but in a different way and Khadija was the one who tipped me off to this. It really hit home for me when she provided some counter examples to some commenters who used the phrase “look within” regarding unfortunate circumstances in their lives. She used the examples of slaves during slavery or jews during the holocaust – wondering whether they would “look within” and how helpful would that be to them.

    A lot of New Age philosophies teach that everything starts with you and within you i.e. your mental emotional state. And that you can change the outer circumstances in your life by changing your thoughts, beliefs etc.

    I do think that changing your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions from negative to positive is a good thing, but I also think that you have to follow it up with action that addresses your immediate situation/circumstances.

    It is disturbing for me bc similar to these “new” relationship gurus who poison BW that are cropping up everywhere- I am also now noticing a lot of this New Age lingo popping up amongst black folks as well. There are also some self- styled black New Age gurus popping up online. I guess its the new hustle instead of the black church.

    In a nutshell I think it is dangerous because it leads an already vulnerable group, BW, who have been indoctrinated to be magical thinkers to go further down that rabbit hole. All you have to do is chant, affirm, make a vision board and it will all get better.

    Its also a tool for abuse and control. I am a firm believer in justice. The reason I left my ATR practice was because of a lack of justice. Atrocities were being committed to innocents and people were saying let “God” handle it. My thoughts were that those who stood by and let this happen are just as bad and evil as the crooked priests who committed these atrocities because they stood by and did nothing.

    Anyway this line of spirituality discourages justice and allows abuse to flourish because again one is supposed to focus on the self. In other words “why did you attract these circumstances/this suffering to yourself”?

    I have seen everything from HIV, to cancer etc “blamed” on people who were sick.

    Its late and I hope I am making sense.

  5. @Oshun

    You are making PERFECT SENSE.

    I understand where you are coming from, because I have had similar frustrations with several teachings in the black church (as you previously mentioned). I am Christian, because I REALLY DO love the system of ethics and example of Jesus Christ. But, if I were to base my choices simply upon the people who PROFESS to be “Christian”, I HONESTLY wouldn’t be one.

    I agree that careful and wise ACTION is necessary for change. I am totally with you and Khadija on this. I just have a SERIOUS PERSONAL PROBLEM with the diminution of personal integrity being promoted by the popular culture. I am an ethics and integrity oriented person. And, it disturbs me to see so many people marginalize the significance and importance of personal character and decision-making.

    I’ve enjoyed this exchange.

    (And, don’t worry about misspelling my SN. It’s no biggie.)

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