For Black Women: When White Men Are Buddies With a “Brotha”

When a white man is buddies with a “brotha”, I know I don’t want him. The white guy doesn’t have to “hate” black men, but if he’s one of those white guys who feels like he needs to have street cred, or likes to call black men “brothas”, then I don’t wanna see ya. I want a guy who is “white.” He must be all the whiteness he can be: Abercrombie and Fitch, Brooks Brothers type of man, yo.

So if a white man is getting even within firing range of the toxic zone misogynistic mentality of some of these black male cretins, that tells me his mind is getting polluted with vicious anti-bw propaganda. And I’ve met my share who wanna be down with the homies.

Oh, hell no. Go away.


Well, looky-looky here. I want to bring your attention to this comment by Paul G. all excerpted from Clutch online. His comment is part of the article: The View From the Other Room: What White Men Think About Dating Black Women.

By the way, I rarely read their comments section, it’s always the same eight people.

Here’s what Paul G. said about black women (the brackets are my comments):

It’s not the media that scares me away from not wanting to date a black women, it’s black men that make me think differently.

[GoldenAh: Are you really this simpleminded?]

I say that to say this, and I’m only giving you my observation… I see a lot of black men running around with a white girl on their arm, which is fine, but when I’ve sat down with brothers and asked them why they don’t like dating black women, they always have something negative to say about you guys, whether it be your attitude, your jealousy, or the thought that you guys want to play the man of the house. I don’t need to watch to TV to see what I can see when I walk down the block. But I don’t have to buy into that either, which I don’t, but I am aware of what’s being said about yall by your own men.

[GoldenAh: They are not my men, or our men. And that, dear Sir, is the problem right there.]

It’s a shame to see that. – Paul G.

I don’t know the man. I’ve skimmed over the comments of all of the white guys whose comments make up part of the article. But this guy’s words hung around like an eye stinging fart in an elevator.

It just reads like, “Who you goin’ to believe? Me or your lying eyes?” (Richard Pryor).

Remember that song, “Don’t ask my neighbor, come to me”? Well, my advice is, if you want to know about black women: come talk to us. The “brothas” hate their own mothers and sisters, that should tell you everything what’s wrong with them.

A guy like Paul G. can continue to stay far far away from black women, because he values the words of anti-bw misogynists over valuing us as just women. The guy is a coward, plain and simple. He, too, is a sexist racist. That’s my take. He can dress it up in blaming how “da brothas” around him talk their crap, or whatever negativity he’s looking for in the media, but at the end of the day: he is taking heed.

If you wanted to know the kind of white guys to stay away from, Paul G. fits the profile.

I ain’t mad at the dude, he’s made me realize how poisonous and evil these negroes are.


72 Replies to “For Black Women: When White Men Are Buddies With a “Brotha””

  1. “I remember standing on line years ago overhearing a BM saying the same thing. I wanted to find the white man who he think put me through college, ’cause I was still paying back the loans at that time. I had to hustle every step of the way.”

    Yeah, the BM who say these things are always the lazy, trifling, leech variety.

    I can’t wait till I finally finish paying off my loans. And the sleep I lost back then… I don’t think I got more than 12 hours of sleep per WEEK when I was a college student. Even I’m amazed that I graduated with a 3.76 GPA, because I was constantly fatigued. And I worked part time on top of it.

    Back then, I would have been overjoyed if someone had said, “Here’s a degree, now go rub a BM’s face in it.” I would have saved tens of thousands of dollars and gotten adequate sleep during those four long years.

    GoldenAh: An amazing feat, Andrea. Congratulations. 🙂

    A man with pride would knock himself out to get ahead, but these leeches know they have Mommy, Aunty, sister or baby mommas to live off of. They have a nerve condemning women who provide them with their food, shelter and clothing.

    “Here’s a degree, now go rub a BM’s face in it.” Oh, that would have been fun to do!

  2. Glad to see people are still posting on this thread but we need a part 2 (lol)

    I also thought that some gay men had a problem with black women dating white men. While all that prop 8 stuff was going on in california some gay white man said that black women voted against gay marriage because it would mean less men for them. I was like WTF! Black people in california are less than 10% of the population.

    GoldenAh: One day I may add another part to this topic. 😀

    Yeah, this white racist gay male with a big following spent weeks vilifying black people over this topic. And he will remain nameless, ’cause I cannot stand that bigoted bitch. It made me sick how hard they worked to blame us, black women especially, when our vote tally literally made no significant difference on the matter.

    These other “minority” groups always expect black people, and black women in particular, to fight for them. They’re mad that we mostly refuse to. Black people are viewed only as useful tools to these groups, because from jump street they have nothing but contempt for us. So, they need to stop expecting us (like good slaves) to do the work for them. They can manage. Let them carry the load. We have enough problems to sort out.

  3. “An amazing feat, Andrea. Congratulations. :)”

    Thank you!

    “Yeah, this white racist gay male with a big following spent weeks vilifying black people over this topic. And he will remain nameless, ’cause I cannot stand that bigoted bitch. It made me sick how hard they worked to blame us, black women especially, when our vote tally literally made no significant difference on the matter.”


    I saw him on the Tyra Show, and she disappointed me by not checking the dude. But she never does, unless they’re insulting a BM. Tyra is so male identified, it’s pathetic. And, of course, she had a lone BW who used religion to justify her anti-gay sentiments. She was set up to represent BW (badly), but she didn’t represent me at all.

    Personally, I have nothing against gay people. I believe they have the right to the same protections under the law. BUT I have absolutely NO interest in helping them solve their problems or defending them. Do you see any gays trying to defend us? I doubt it.

    GoldenAh: I agree. Everyone should be treated as human beings first. Laws shouldn’t single out anyone for persecution or special treatment. Although I wonder if a lot of these other “minority” groups understand the distinction.

    These people wanna pretend that black women are able, as a group, to wreak havoc on the interests of a wealthy, insular and privileged “minority” composed of mostly white folks who claim victimhood. And they always, always do it by saying “it is like being black”. Hilariously funny, because it makes no sense at all. It defies logic. They have no effing clue what it is like to be black. By that very phrasing, they are excluding black gay people who go through their own type of persecution.

    Religious black women are in church listening to their black male pastors (who are probably anti-gay and down-low) vent against gays. The day black male pastors stop doing that those black women will meekly follow suit. That’s why I’m so pissed at people who act as if black women have some monolithic power to stop their “progress.” It’s garbage.

  4. I see it’s been a while since anyone has posted on this site. But I would like to add, that in case anyone takes this as a BM bashing session, they would be mistaken. From what I’ve gathered here so far is that we BW do not hate BM. We are starting to realize that we should broaden our options, which often times include white men. Here is a little run down:

    BM: Black women are bitchy, pushy and loud
    WM: I love the spunk and openness of black women
    BM: Black women are nothing but gold diggers
    WM: Black women work hard, therefore they deserve flowers and gifts.
    BM: I don’t want a nappy headed woman.
    WM: It doesn’t matter what texture a woman’s hair is. It’s her quality that counts.
    BM: I prefer dating light-skinned women if I take a black chick out.
    WM: I love the richness of black women’s dark skin.

    See the point? Every negative thing a black man could say about us, a white male would likely find the positive side of it

    GoldenAh: No worries. No matter how old the topic: if you write, someone will respond. 😀

    That’s why I like the feedback offered by white men and other non-black men. They offer another perspective that is complimentary. It also shows that the interest is not a one-way street and that we are not talking to ourselves. They are potential partners who are interested. Their comments also offer an important rebuttal to all those degrading insults tossed at us, such as, “no man wants you” or “they just want y’all for sex”. You know?

    At the end of the day, who black women decide to have as partners has nothing to do with black men, we’re not their community property. 😀

    Thanks for stopping by, Ran Ran. Feel free to comment again.

  5. I am extremely late on this but I completely agree on this article and a lot of the comments on here. I’m a 20 year old bw that loves to date white guys and men of other races and I steer clear of the ones that have a large group of black friends and imitate stereotypical black male behavior. I can’t stand it, give me an “Ambecrombie” any day lol. He doesn’t have to wear that type of clothing but I love the hockey shirt, converse wearing white guys at my college lol.

    GoldenAh: Hello Cherie! Lovely name you have. 🙂

    You sound like you know exactly what to look out for: staying clear of thuggish behavior. Good for you.

    I wish you well, young lady.

    Thank you for stopping. 🙂

  6. Just what I need, a white guy “schooled” by the brothas about black women.


    Not only would I want someone not poisoned by black men talking to him, I would want someone not poisoned by listening to rap or hip-hop music. The most damaging caricatures of black women are drawn by black men in person, or in music, or in a movie (thanks, Tyler Perry).

    I don’t want a guy that has a lot of misconeptions about black women in his mind before we even meet. I want a guy that looks at me as an unknown quantity when we meet, someone where he can fill in the blanks as he gets to know me, in terms of what kind of woman I am.

    GoldenAh: Couldn’t have said it better, Olivia. It’s better that the man gets to know the real you. Hopefully, he’s not contaminated by stereotypes from people who should be uplifting our image(s) and should know better!

    Thank you for your thoughts on this. 🙂

  7. This is so undeniably TRUE. One of the other comments said it all: “Black men are like press agents in reverse for black women”. They’ll tell anyone (loudly) that will listen about how bad black women are.

    (DERISIVE SNORT) Our brothers!

    GoldenAh: In the long run, the negativity will reflect back on them.

  8. I’m absolutely fascinated by this blog, Goldenah. It reads like half a people yearning to breathe free. You make a great argument that it matters little if the other half(BM)come along on the journey. I guess I’d like to hear from BM on their thoughts on BW leaving them to their street corners and aimlessness. At some point BM are going to look around at a barren landscape and wonder why they only see sharp edges and gray skies. They will more and more have to come to terms with the incontrovertible fact that BW are standing on the other side of a great divide. Will they stare across wistfully wondering what happened? Will they lash out? Will some change? Like I said, this is most illuminating. You folks keep on writing so I can keep on reading. Yee haw!!!

  9. Hi Betty! For Black Women Only on Facebook reposted this topic/link on their page and I told them this lil tale about the time back in the day that I dated a WM who was trying to be hiphop/down with da brothas from the basketball court, so I’ll share it here as a cautionary tale about dating WM who are friendly BM from Blackistan.

    When the BF introduced me to the BM I could tell they were resentful of him & jealous=dangerous & I warned him but like a typical dumbass liberal he told me that I was paranoid, and he’d continue to pal with them at the basketball court…oKay! I listened to my gut instinct and never again hung around those men! (To all the WM reading this -when a BW tells you that someone is dangerous, believe them!)

    Not long afterward, one fine early evening …da bros came to visit Mr. dumbass liberal…with a gun. Yup. It was home invasion robbery time. They took everything of value except his life!

    Just recently I shocked the socks off a well-to do (so!!) single, age appropriate WM – I said no to his offer for a date. Why? He spoke with a hiphop accent, dressed in the hiphop style.

    Hell to the naw!

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