BETTY CHAMBERS

Narcissism for Black Women: The Very Good and Healthy Expression of Deep Self-Love, and Extreme Self-Devotion. Why? Because It's Good For Ya! And Sometimes I Write about Natural Hair, Among Other Things


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To The Black Women Who Defend Barack Obama (or Any Black Male)

Posted on | November 4, 2010 | 8 Comments

Shellacking

November 2nd was a shocker wasn’t it? Wow, that was some election. Where did all the progressives and liberals go? Are they only in California, Connecticut, Delaware, and New York?

President Obama

I know a lot of you think that the sole and most important reason for the Republican and Tea Party takeover of the House of Representatives and gain of several seats in the Senate was due to racism.

It could be. It could be. I wouldn’t rule out that as a reason for some portion of the political shift.

Superman vs. Below Average

I think you also have to realize that the rest of the US population isn’t interested in “helping a brotha out”, or “giving him a chance, because it’s only been two years”, or “hey, we’d be worse off if he didn’t do X, Y, and Z!” The thing is, folks expected him to perform – way way above par. He was expected to be exceptional. Never take that for granted. Especially in your own lives – on the job or when put in charge of something. Excuses as to why he’s not fulfilling his obligations will fall on deaf ears.

I know, I know – according to most of y’all – 90% – he is exceptional. However, that’s never good enuff. ๐Ÿ˜€

What do I mean? Well, black women are used to under performing, inadequate, insufficient, dysfunctional, and irresponsible black males who, at times, do have legitimate problems. Most black women are always ready and willing to make excuses, overcompensate forย  poor performance, provide excessive moral support, and see every insult or humiliation a black male endures as your own. There’s always some reason, some long winded excuse as to why he cannot be, in any reasonable fashion, like the other men in this country or even in this world. You think people might care that his problems are exceptional.

Unfortunately, the rest of the US population (if not the world) really and truly doesn’t give a damn. Their expectations are different: they don’t use a sympathy or pity curve when it comes to black males.

Yardstick: The Black Man’s Will Be Longer

See, this President will be measured by the same yardstick used on the other Presidents. In this case it seems unfair, because all the other guys are white. Even Clinton had a tough time, although he did get to use his “black male card” to explain his adulterous, lascivious, amoral, and duplicitous nature.

Can you see my point now? Your black man, in a position of responsibility, will be judged by the same, if not, much much more difficult, rigid, yet longer, yardstick than the others. Even if there is a tinge of racism in their complaints, at the end of the day, folks only care about: Did he deliver? Did he exceed those agreed upon goals? Are we pleased with his performance? Did I get what I wanted out of this?

That last sentence is key: everyone understands the notion of reciprocity, quid pro quo, “what am I getting for my support?” and “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back”, except black women. Black women are used to giving something and getting nothing in return.* No one else follows that philosophy.

So, if they continue to think he hasn’t performed, is giving his all, or exceeding expectations, then the first black President will serve only one term. Right now, he’s practically a lame duck, unless he figures out how to manage his opponents.

Frankly, I don’t see that happening.

*A few things to ponder:

  • Black women gave the President the highest percentage of votes for their demographic.
  • Was a black woman nominated for the Supreme Court? *crickets*
  • Who was the first person he tossed under the bus? Mrs Susan Rice.
  • Who was the most recent person he tossed under the bus? Mrs Shirley Sherrod.
  • Were there any black female candidates he went out of his way to support? *crickets*
  • That’s right, we cannot have any complaints, because we’re supposed to be simply grateful we got a black man as President. Which gets us exactly what?

Alrighty then.

**Update**

Native Americans: Obama’s Been Doing Right By Them

Every group has their demands….

**ย  More Stuff **

The Reverberations:

NYTimes.com: Texas Considers Medicaid Withdrawal … As a result of federal health care changes, some Republican lawmakers are proposing an unprecedented solution to the stateโ€™s estimated $25 billion budget shortfall: dropping out of the federal Medicaid program.

Isn’t there a poker game called Texas Hold’em?

It just doesn’t stop:

This article is downright offensive. It’s from the Washington post:

Federal government needs a chief operating officer says a former democratic Senator, Bob Kerrey. The COO’s duties would lie in execution of government policy, including ensuring that the government is well managed and that it addresses key national priorities as one entity and not as hundreds of separate agencies operating in silos.

What are qualifications for this position? The COO should have significant business experience as well as sensitivity to the mechanics of government. That experience would serve him or her well in managing the government’s vast moving parts.

Isn’t that what the President and Vice President are supposed to be doing? Is this article saying that the current President isn’t competent?

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8 Responses to “To The Black Women Who Defend Barack Obama (or Any Black Male)”

  1. Hodan
    November 4th, 2010 @ 8:56 PM

    he tossed Dr. Rice under the bus?….hard to figure that when she’s United States Ambassador to the United Nations and one of his main foreign policy expert. Besides, Obama’s policy team and admin are 50% females, many of whom are black, white, gay, straight. This idea that tokenism should continue instead of merit base is absurd in my book. As a black woman, I expect the best to be hired regardless of their gender or race.

    GoldenAh: During the early part of his campaign, he removed her from a key position, because she said a few naughty, supposedly harsh words about Mrs. Clinton. Mrs. Rice was on board, because she was waiting to be Secretary of State, not a talking points memo reader at the U.N. To placate a lot of angry, old, white women, Mr. Obama hands that incredible position over to Mrs. Clinton instead.

    Hey, with friends like that, who needs frenemies? ๐Ÿ˜€

    Oh, I could care not less about how many whites, gays, Jews, Asians, Latinos, handicapped, or other world folk, are in his Administration. I’m not checking for them. I don’t play that game that he isn’t doing a head count with these other groups to satisfy them. I’m talking about how other groups fight and get what they want, but black woman are always expected to walk about empty-handed, and be happy about it.

    It’s a stupid mindset to have.

    Furthermore, historically speaking, every midterm elections since FDR elected into Congress a political party opposite that than the party of the President sitting in the WH. What happened on Tuesday was small compared to Bill Clinton and Reagan, where they lost both Congress and Senate to opposing party. 59 Republicans were elected in 2010 compared to 66 under Clinton, while the Senate remains under Dem control. I would like to see how Obama would govern because he’s been meek and timid in his policies, which has pissed off the liberal base.

    qoute: “Unfortunately, the rest of the US population (if not the world) really and truly doesnโ€™t give a damn. Their expectations are different: they donโ€™t use a sympathy or pity curve when it comes to black males.”

    Hodan: come on now, the United States of America have been electing idiots, incompetent white men into the White House since its founding, heck 90% of Congress and Senate is a prime example of it.

    Obama have a lot of fault, but he’s far from the typical African American male, heck there is no one comparable to him black or white when it comes to his political machine.He’s a political sell out, one of the worse pragmatist and far from a progressive, but to call him incompetent is not fact based in my POV.

    Instead of listing his accomplishments, I’ll let the authors of the bellow link state it plainly:

    http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2010/6/26/879555/-Rachel-Maddow-Compares-Obamas-Legislative-Record-to-FDR-

    http://www.frumforum.com/not-smart-to-run-against-obama

    GoldenAh: Well, you’re Canadian. ๐Ÿ˜€ Your opinion doesn’t count. LOL. {{I’m just playing.}}

    I didn’t call him incompetent. He is inadequate. Certainly. He has come up short. His biggest mistake is half of his cabinet. His first mistake was not focusing exclusively and continuously on the economy. The Wall Street bailout, TARP, that Health Care bill, and that stimulus package are mistakes. I don’t buy the argument(s) that the economy would be worse off if Congress didn’t pass the bills they did. Democrats held Congress, they could have done better. And look what happened, the American people wiped them out.

    I don’t know what numbers you are looking at, but 60+ is the highest change over in politicians from one party, not both, since 1946 or 1948. That’s a lot of bodies being dropped. Based on who’s up to bat in 2012, the bloodletting might not be over. I’m not a cheerleader for either party, so I don’t have a dog in this hunt.

    Obama ran on a lot of promises, and the number one rule when making promises is to underpromise and overdeliver. He’s confident, and so are his acolytes, that’s he’s the best thing since sliced bread. He’s not.

    Once Obama gets embraced by black women making excuses for him like he’s a regular “brotha”, then he does become the average African American male. He has to be a superman and deliver, or be seen as below average compared to the others.

    That’s my point.

    Thanks for the feedback, Hodan.
    ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Bellydancer
    November 5th, 2010 @ 8:47 AM

    After obama got elected I got into an argument with an older black lady about him. I told her after she gushed over his being elected” I hope he does not f**k it up cuz a black person will never get elected again” and before I could explain to her why I was saying this I could see her eyes narrowing and her body puffing up”what you mean by that” she was panting at this point. I said” he will be held at a different standard and expected to do more” she started blurting out stuff like “well the rest of them do all kinds of sneaky shit and steal money and etc…” I said “yes but they will be watching his every move and judging him more harshly then all those other men.” By this point she was all riled up and started to ask me if I voted for him. I told her yes I always vote democratic but I voted for Hilliary in the primary. This woman actually looked at me real mean like and then walked away because I voted for Hilliary Clinton. (The first woman president would have been a nice milestone as well.)
    Black women are always looking for black men to come and save them not realizing these men are only out for themselves some even voted for him cuz Michelle was black I heard some women say that”if she had been white he wouldn’t have got my vote” SMDH
    Obama should have prioritized better with the economy and job situation being as it was. His first official act was to call muslims all over the mideast and apologize for our behaviour during the war on terrorism WTF.
    I already had my suspicions about his religion and loyalties and that really sent some white people over the edge.

    GoldenAh: LOL. You trying to get people mad at me, right? I wont question the man’s religion, or faith, but he was rather quick about tossing his pastor overboard. Wow. Hey, a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do to be Prez. ๐Ÿ˜€

    You got me. That’s all I’m saying. Why are we acting surprised that the standards for him are near impossibly high? That “white people do it too” excuse has got to be killed off with a quickness. It doesn’t work.

  3. lostkitty
    November 5th, 2010 @ 10:06 AM

    Wow Betty. Just about everything you’ve said is what I told my best girlfriend last night and she was very disappointed in me. In particular, I too was very disappointed that he did not nominate a black woman to the Supreme court and I was very angry at the way Shirley Sherrod was treated by the NAACP and by Obama. My girlfriend believes that even though Obama has not done–and most likely will not do–anything for black women (or black people in general), we should still support him.

    When I told her that my vote is up for grabs in 2012 and that I may vote republican or third party, depending on the candidate, she gave out a loud, startled “WHAT?!” and then was speechless for almost a minute. Too many black women are like her. She just does not get it that black women are the only ones who tirelessly and dutifully give while getting (and expecting) nothing in return.

    I don’t fell sorry for Obama at all. He is not my personal friend or biological relative, so why should I feel his pain or take the voters clear repudiation of him personally? He ignored the people who turned out in record numbers to put him in office and spent almost 2 years trying to reach out to republicans who made it clear from the very beginning that they would not work with him and that their ONLY goal was to make him a one term President. He had his chance and he blew it.

    Black women who are crying for Obama need to wake up. He is set for life, win or lose the next election. He and his family will be well provided for, for the rest of their lives, and he will become a millionaire many times over by writing books and giving speeches all over the world. He is in a win-win situation, unlike most black women in this country.

    I am proud to have Michelle Obama as First Lady but I cannot support him only because of her. Instead of crying over Obama, black women should use the next two years to do for themselves and find the best nonblack mate possible while Michelle is still in the spotlight and making us look good.

    Bellydancer, I also feel that he was wrong to reach out to the Muslim world the way he did. That should not have been his first official act. That just made him look like the “closet Muslim” that too many white people think he is. And for the record, I have nothing against Muslims.

    GoldenAh: Such an excellent comment, Lostkitty, and not just because you agree with me. ๐Ÿ˜€

    You’ve added dimension, examples and clarification to what I’ve written.

  4. Monique
    November 5th, 2010 @ 10:08 AM

    I don’t think President Obama is in any way a DBRBM, probaly beacsue he wasn’t raised in the increasingly daranged Black community. Politically, Obama is not a progressive and he never really held himself out to be one. I think people got caught up in the vanity of wanting to say “I helped elect the first Black President” without really understanding that his polices were very centrist and that is how he was going to govern. He has made some legislative victories and it cost the Dems some seats in the House and Senate, but that was to be expected.

    I agree that he is held to a higher, somewhat impossible standard and most of that is because and solely becase he is Black. Folks talking about “wanting their country back” is really saying “I want my country back from this Black man.”

    GoldenAh: I met him once, long long time ago, when he became the first black editor of Harvard Law. Back then I was thinking of going to Law School. He was tall, light complexioned, skinny, and had that particular look-down-his-nose-at-you manner of speaking. I cannot even remember if I spoke to him, since I was listening to other people ask him questions.

    At the time, he reminded me of quite a few other black men who have the same disdainful, self-absorbed air. I usually ignore or avoid them, because they’re impossible to even speak with. However, that type of guy is in another galaxy apart from the DBRBM. I wouldn’t dare call Obama a DBRBM, because that is a heavy duty term. It doesn’t apply here. Not at all.

    I believe you are correct: he’s not a progressive. I’m not disappointed that he’s not either. He’s a political pragmatist.

  5. Oshun/Aphrodite
    November 5th, 2010 @ 11:27 AM

    “During the early part of his campaign, he removed her from a key position, because she said a few naughty, supposedly harsh words about Mrs. Clinton. Mrs. Rice was on board, because she was waiting to be Secretary of State, not a talking points memo reader at the U.N. To placate a lot of angry, old, white women, Mr. Obama hands that incredible position over to Mrs. Clinton instead.”

    This is deep. And stupid. I didn’t know this. If it were me and Mrs. Rice was backing that up with actions – she would be the 1st person I would place in any key position bc I would see she has my back. How you pimp slap the one that got your back?

    GoldenAh: Ambassador to UN is the consolation prize. She had to be on board for that S.O.S., because it’s not like she wouldn’t be first black, first woman or first black woman. It was a safe bet. However, during the primaries they (the media and Hillarities) played up something she said, and when I saw that she was a black woman, I was like, “Okay, I see now. Sacrificial lamb time.”

  6. Faith
    November 5th, 2010 @ 4:35 PM

    No Obama isn’t a DBR but what value does he offer black women? What have we demanded from him? What can we demand with exacting penalties?

    When he invites Jay-Z and those other unrepentant black women haters to the White House? When he trashes black women? When he says he “regrets” what happened with Shirley Sherrod but did not emphatically apologize? When he doesn’t defend his own wife?

    I was just listening to the Youtube recordings that Evia linked to at her latest post from Dr. Barbara Sizemore where’s she’s asking when black people are going to get it.

    We’re missing tapping into our power dynamic and we’re getting obliterated for it.

    http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/2010/11/moving-on-marriage-congrats-some-bw-just-dont-get-it-the-rest-of-us-must-move-on-bwir-falling-for-ev.html

    GoldenAh: Good questions. I’m still puzzled at the level of adoration on some black (political) blogs, which appears to require no questions, no criticism, and unrelenting support. Not from me. It’s nice that he’s married to a black woman, I love the elevation of the image as First Lady, but that’s not enough. He’s a politician, elected to represent the American people in office. I don’t worship him. I’m not riding that train. I never did for anyone.

    We know if he wasn’t a black man, black women would have moved the scales from their eyes already. We always suffer from blind adoration of a black guy in the public eye or leadership position: it’s unhealthy and cult-like. Analysis of his role, his work, and what he’s doing is acceptable. It’s required if we expect better out of our “leaders”, it’s dangerous to do otherwise.

    Thanks for the feedback Faith, and that link about the Black Actresses. ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. Patricia Kayden
    November 6th, 2010 @ 5:59 PM

    I will always support President Obama. He’s signed a health care bill (which I know is under attack), but hopefully will survive and be expanded.

    As to where are the progressives/liberals — I live in a deeply blue state which voted overwhelmingly Democrat, as did Massachussetts.

    Yes, I know that President Obama is going through a rough spot, but that is no different than what President Clinton went through in 1994.

    Anyways, although I thoroughly enjoy your blog, I’ll have to dissent from your politics.

    Take care!

    GoldenAh: Not a problem. I still luv you anyway. ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. Boston
    November 7th, 2010 @ 7:04 AM

    aaahhh… this post is tearing me appart. on one hand you do have a point about bw being the only group to support any bm no matter what. especially as long as he’s just slightly above average because we are so use to garbage.

    before i even start, let me say that i am not a supporter of obama’s policies. but at the same time, i want to point out that despite the fact that we haven’t see the “change we can believe in”, we need to acknowledge that our problems are astronomical. not only that, we also have a democratic process where he can’t single-handedly make things happen. he is working against the party of no and he’s not a dictator who can just veto anything he doesn’t like. they’re not the party of no because they are republicans. they are the party of no because they are (or were) the minority party. politics is a dirty game and any party who is not really tends to block all initiatives out of bitterness and to make themselves look like they are not compromising on their beliefs. there’s very little incentive to “reach accross the aisle” because at election time it can backfire since people are stupid and vote accross party lines instead of voting for policies. i always say that “good” politicians are one term politicians because they are the ones who make the right decisions which are often the unpopular decisions. you don’t get reelected by doing the right thing. you get reelected by doing just enough to get people to go out and vote for you again.

    so although i agree with the general message of your post, i would be careful about using him as the example of the typical black man that black women will defend. there are bigger factors at play that are hindering his ability to do what he really wants. and honestly i’m grateful for that because i’m not a supporter of many of his policies.

    just my opinion!

    ps- i love the blog and thank you for listing me in your links.

    GoldenAh: Excellent points. Made you think! {{wink}} LOL. ๐Ÿ˜€

    I think he will be defended whether he’s considered regular or extraordinary. He’s a black man. It’s reflexive. Also, I wonder why any President needs defending. He is the most powerful man on the planet. His job is to protect us (every American) not the other way around. I’m not his rhetorical body guard. So yeah, I’ll criticize him if I feel he’s not doing rightly. That’s the nature of his job. I added the clip about the Native Americans, because he sure can get stuff done when he wants to. Just saying.

    However, I understand that “our problems are astronomical.” The country is knee-deep in it. I believe that a majority of black women’s wounds are self-inflicted. They are up to their nostrils in doo-doo for no good reason(s). Yet, I’m divided over how much government helps or hinders. Still loving your blog post about liberals.

    Some us (Americans) are very self-directed, and would like the government to work well and leave us alone. Then we have people (unfortunately, a growing dependent underclass of black people) that want or need government as parent, mentor, sheepherder, and mind reader. And as we’ve seen, government sucks horribly in that role.

    Right now, I don’t think this massively bloated indebted dysfunctional government works, and the recent legislative “solutions” were horrid. Not sure how any of this will get better. I get the impression no one in Washington really has a clue how to fix what they keep making worse. JMHO.

    Thanks for stopping by, Boston. ๐Ÿ˜€



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