Black Women: Why is the Wall Street Journal, and the media, still talking about our marriage prospects?

I liked this comment by Daphne so much, I made it a separate post. Check out the following.

Regarding the WSJ* article making the rounds:

I found it bizarre that this was in the The Wall Street Journal*, just like I thought it was bizarre there was a similar article about black women in The Economist** several months (maybe a year?) ago. To me, it reeks of “let us observe these strange creatures known as black women,” similar to zoo animals.

Plus, the author’s subtext is disturbing: more black women should marry out, to potentially improve the rates of black marriage. To me, marriage is a non-sequitur in this context, particularly given that some serious cultural issues aren’t magically repaired by marriage (i.e. ability and desire to provide, being an effective father, knowing HOW to maintain a relationship). I mean, I’d hate for a black woman to have her black man propose primarily because he’s afraid of her being taken off the market rather than….wait for it, actually wanting to be married and prepared for that stage. Not to mention how unfair it is for a non-black man to be a consolation prize because a black man isn’t available or willing to marry. But hey….as long as they’re married, I guess.

I get the supply/demand, economics side of it: more black women date out, fewer are available to black men, black men step up their game. Which is fine, for future generations, I suppose. But for the women NOW who want the best partner for them, it’s entirely possible that even willing black men aren’t the best partners because of the aforementioned cultural issues.

I also give the side-eye to any author who misuses statistics, which the WSJ author did in a major way. That 70% of unmarried black women? Includes widows and the divorced. It is also includes age 15 and up. You would think a law professor would either dig a little deeper with the stats or be more more precise in using them.

Now, I’m not denying cultural differences between whites and blacks with the marriage rate. But it’s certainly convenient for these article to throw out that 70%, as if nobody wants da po’ black woman. Not to mention using the quotes of THREE black women as representative of the majority. And when you correct for college education, the marriage disparity between black and white women is significantly smaller.

Thank you for the contribution and sparking this post, Daphne. 🙂

GoldenAh:

That article does have an air of “What can we do about these black women no one wants?”, right? 😀

As far back as the 1990s, perhaps even earlier, the NY Times periodically ran articles about the large number of college educated unmarried black women without children along with the high rate of out-of-wedlock births of single black women.

The angle changes somewhat, but it still has the familiar reek of: Black women’s relationships are a problem for society. Although I suspect they really mean, Black women’s existence is a problem for society.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Breaking It Down

You did a terrific job of nailing what’s wrong with the WSJ article. It’s not doing us any favors, but it wasn’t meant to anyway. This article insults a number of people, but the main recipients are black women and white men.

Imagine if there was a shortage of marriageable partners for white men, and black women were offered up as the last choice, second rate hope for them, because it would improve their group’s prospects with other, or the same race of, women? Even though they purportedly have a white woman shortage.

Say, what kind of logic is that?

  1. Logic that reinforces a negative image of black women. So, no surprise a black man wrote that article for a major newspaper that reaches around the world. Anything for a couple of dollars to denigrate black women is not a hard task for some black men. Regardless of how well meaning he thinks is.
  2. The logic is to continue presenting black women as racially, socially and bizarrely backward thinking: we’re worried about our HAIR, the complexions of our children, and our inability to be comfortable with non-black men. Oh, what superficial, silly, non-normal, non-female creatures we are. We are still “othering” ourselves. Those selected black women presents an image of people living in a self-imposed prison who lack any sense to free themselves of it.
  3. The logic used is a sneaky backhanded method of blaming black women for the lower rate of black marriage compared to other racial groups. The author cannot directly say that black women must do the asking, since to a mainstream audience it would be outside the norm and viewed as ridiculous. Instead, he indirectly makes the case for marrying non-black men, again like we could make them marry us somehow, to prompt black men into asking.

The key ingredient missing from the entire WSJ article is, What makes a black woman happy? What would make her feel good? What are the ways to approach her if she appears socially remote? Examples of their femininity, their normalcy, or exotic allure, would be enticing to the non-black  men reading the WSJ to look at black women positively. It would peal away at least one thin layer of separation between black women and non-black men.

However, making black women attractive, approachable and normal was not the intention of the article.

As you’ve noted, Daphne, the actual  purpose is: How do we eventually get black men to do X, Y, and Z? Because it always has to be about them, beginning, middle and ending. People need to let that go and forget about closing the barn door.  The horse that ran out is now a great-great-grand mare to her offspring. Black men cannot be cajoled, conned or bribed into marrying black women, especially when they have no desire or interest to do so.

Black women have to be happy on their own terms.  I’d respect the mainstream media if there were more articles pertaining to black women, without the insincere hand-wringing, making their own decision to integrate intimately with non-black men: by working with, making friends with, dating and marrying them. And solely for their own benefit.

 


 

* The Wall Street Journal – An Interracial Fix for Black Marriage

** The Economist Article – Print Edition – Sex and the single black woman

** The Economist Article – Blog – The unintended consequences of mass incarceration

 

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The Nice Good Black Man

Using an interesting quote from Classic NYer:

But that being said, perhaps I can show you another point of view. Take for example my brother, a stand -up individual raised by my mother and father with correct morals, treats his mother and two sisters with respect, graduated with degrees and working on another one, acts sensibly, never been to jail/gotten into drugs/did general dumbass criminal shit/etc… in other words, none of the damaged-beyond-repair symptoms that are often associated with black maleness.

It’s a little sad that there are some black women who have become so disillusioned by the bottom-of-the-barrel-negroes that they will look at any black man, even my brother, and all they will see is gangsta rap. I’m not saying, of course, that black women should be required to take a fine-toothed comb to our race before venturing out…

I myself am finding happiness right now with a non-black man… but it bothers me when I hear people say things like “I’m done with black men!” and I do hear this sometimes… and it speaks a couple volumes about our own damage when we become so jaded that we can’t see the black men in college because we’re blinded by the black men in jail… I say “to hell with them” if they can’t get their shit together… but what about my brother?

 

GoldenAh:

Thank you for this comment, Classic NYer. This brings up the flip side of the “watch out for the abusive, bad, and damaged beyond repair black males (DBR)” topical threads. I’m not going to talk about your brother, since I don’t know him. I will write solely from observation and experience.

Blog Purpose: Black Female Consumption

The reason why so much virtual ink is spent discussing black males, at times, is because a number of us still interact with so many of them. Obviously, there are good and bad folks in every group. The consistent theme here has been to urge black women to put as much physical, emotional, and mental distance between themselves and the toxic people in their lives. Statistically, the ones most likely to place them in grave danger happen to be black males.

We must remember that the goal is winnowing and thinning the herd of good from bad. Once the ladies physically move, then adjust to becoming emotionally detached, it becomes easier for them to think about the positive, uplifting, and affirming changes they want to make in their lives.

I too have stand-up, nice, good and great brothers, uncles, cousins and wonderful black men as friends and associates. Yet, if the ladies reading my blog, and others, decide that they cannot be bothered with black men in general, then that is their right. Perhaps they’re exhausted, wounded and weary from using a fine tooth comb, fishing in a tiny dirty pond, or dumpster diving for a decent black man. Some might even decide that from a statistical vantage looking for one would be an enormous waste of time. I cannot blame them.

I approach this topic from this perspective: what a black woman decides to do with her life ultimately has nothing to do with anyone, especially black men. He will matter if he is the one man who makes a concerted effort to be the special man in her life: a moral, decent, financially sound, emotionally mature, and responsible husband or friend.

Black Men Always Do What Suits Them

I don’t feel bothered, or disturbed when black women say that they are “done with black men”. If my brothers, uncles, cousins, and male friends felt they weren’t making headway with black women, I know they would promptly move onto Latinas, foreign-born black women, and non-black women without pause.

They would do it, because they aren’t concerned with my feelings or impressions about their women. They would do it, because as black men, they are quite willing to enjoy their prerogative to freely date and mate whomever they please.

Who black men decide to have as a life partner is really none of my business. They find happiness on their own terms. And I don’t take it upon myself to worry about who they want or who wants them. Black men, in general, never seem to have trouble finding a woman.

Fog of War

The ones who have a problem with dating and mating with whomever they desire are black women. A number of us haven’t truly embraced our freedoms 100% yet, which is why we still linger over black males and their issues. I gave that up well over a dozen years ago. I left my “black nationalism card” in a drawer to catch dust. I found it less complicated and emotionally bothersome to date Indian, white and Latino men than black men. I couldn’t handle the “fog of war” with them anymore. I had no interest in being cannon fodder or a combatant in their superficial “race war” with white men.

I’ve read and heard the complaint from black men that more than a few, if not all, black women aren’t “feeling” them for one particular reason or another. Well, just because he’s a nice guy, educated and speaks well it doesn’t entitle him to any black woman who happens to catch his eye. As women, we have millions of self-help books telling us to let go when “he’s just not that into you”. The opposite is also true. If a number of black women aren’t into him, he needs to let it – that feeling of entitlement – go.

The Reasons Why Multiply

The nice, good black guy might not accept this, but the following are some of the reasons for their lack of success with black women:

  1. He’s boring. Point blank.
  2. She’s not attracted: no zing, no tingle, at all. Why waste his time?
  3. He’s not her type. She finds his height, weight, complexion, sense of humor, level of sophistication or intelligence lacking.
  4. His self-esteem is low.
  5. Her self-esteem is low.
  6. He lacks the ability to court, entice, tantalize, and seduce a woman.
  7. He lacks a few of the qualities on her “must have” list.
  8. She only digs white, Asian or Latino guys.
  9. His social circle is of poor quality, insufficient or deficient.
  10. He lacks ambition.
  11. Embarrassingly cheap.
  12. Spends too much. Trying to purchase affection.
  13. He believes he’s mature, but he’s really quite childish.
  14. He’s passive-aggressive, and resorts to sarcasm when angry.
  15. Refuses to be candid, upfront, honest or blunt.
  16. Immediately clingy. Reeks of desperation.
  17. He who hesitates loses the game. Wants her to make all the first and last moves.
  18. Exhausting dead-weight. He’s indecisive, and wants her to decide everything.
  19. Every black woman is not his type, supportive, or “good enough” for him, but accuses every black woman of having “unrealistic expectations”.
  20. Very critical, and doles out compliments like a miser with money.
  21. Competitive with black women, and not other men.
  22. Jealous.
  23. Complains about “white people” all the time, with “white people” being only white men.
  24. Believes that an education, lack of a criminal record, employment, and being a black man entitles him to the good graces of all black women.
  25. Added 5/25 Single, but unavailable. In between women, living with a baby Momma and “looking”.
  26. Added 5/25 Lacking manners: a failure to express thoughtfulness or consideration.
  27. Added 5/25 Momma’s boy: treats his female relatives nice. The same can’t be said of how he treats other women.

It’s not a comprehensive list since it is culled from observation and experience. As we know one woman’s bore, could be another woman’s “steady Freddy”.

Black Men Have the Advantage

The fact is that black women with an education vastly outnumber educated black men. In a perfect world, starting in college all black women would like worship all the “nice good black men” and quickly snatch up each one. Let’s not forget these guys want to play around too. He will meet some that like him, and he’ll meet some that wont. If he’s expecting an easier time with black women due to the sex imbalance, it will not make a difference. If he’s expecting an easier path to dating black women due to the abusive bad guys, it will not make a difference.

The black women who write off black men might seem a massive amount due to the nature of these blogs. Yet, it is exaggerated since the fact remains that the number of black women dating interracially is minuscule.

Black men avail themselves to non-black women at a rate of 75% to black women with non-black men at 25%. The nice, good black males don’t have it so bad. They are living in the land of plenty where women of all races outnumber the men. If the nice, good black man is truly a worthy catch, he will have no trouble finding the right woman.

Eventually, the numbers will be on his side.

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I Hurt This Black Male’s Feelings. Weep For Him.

“Brian M.” has something to say. These are all his words.

This kinda stuff one cannot make up. :D

Go forth and tell us how you feel, kind Sir:

Now look let me say this up front I am not here to pick a fight with you or anything I just going to say this because whatever I say I will be wrong anyways to you. Me personally, I understand of what you are saying about us black men which is true and sad but let me be the first to tell you WE ARE ALL NOT LIKE THAT!!!!! I am sorry for what my brotha’s has done to black women and honestly if a bw wants to be with a wm I am not hating at all as long as she is happy then I am good I respect my black women and I am proud of you to become so successful as a career as a black woman no doubt. Further, I am here to say that even though I get reject sometimes by black woman but that doesn’t mean that I hate her it’s like hating on my mother or my sister…………. plus you expired me to make a website to show not only to america, our black women and society but to ourself that there are some good unicorns as you expected left in this nation true there a good few no good black men who ruin for all of us for every 15 good black men it takes 2 of them to bring them down. As so far as wm asking bm advise on how to treat a bw well for any matter I don’t ANY man should ask another for advise on how to treat 1 especially if you friend treats woman like crap so there you go. No I don’t wm males who takes a glance a bw. (All right got the good support stuff out the way)BUTTTTTTTTTT………….. Here is my problem with you. Okay kool you like white guys I get that but don’t label us black men as the devil. You have some nerves to make threads like these. Why can’t be other men from other races. You act like white don’t do nothing wrong and that they are perfect. It cracks me up that you that white are more committed to marriage and not ending up in divorce cout. I’ve seen more divorces from white couples then I do most black couples. You are something else (word to advise to other black women on here) if you are looking for love then love that person because you can get pass by the outside shell. I have white male friends that said to least treat their women like shit but you don’t talk about that do you (AND DON”T SAY THEY DONT BECAUSE YOU ARE FULL OF IT). When you are going to get it in you head that men are men and women are women true there are some trait when it comes to race but come on. You having these sista’s believing that we black males are evil as it comes. Now your probably asking yourself why if you website doesn’t bother me then why I am post a comment on here bashing and everything. It’s not that bw wants to find love in other races that gets me mad (like I said earlier as long as she is happy then I am kool with it as a matter of fact my childhood classmate who is white is married to a black woman and I treat him no different then anybody else) it’s the fact you continue to bash on black men like it ain’t nothing like we are all the same no class, no education, no self respect for himself or for his woman I can go on forever. ALL BLACK MEN DONT LIVE IN THE GHETTO, not all of us act that way, so you need to be realistic in words (but hey this is you website you probably have some smart remarks to say but if you are any kind of human then you will respect my opinion. Let me make a website to how much bm needs to be with a wm I bet I will get all kinds of hate mails. I get it YOU HATE BLACK MAN but the convience these sista’s that there are none or little black men. So let me ask you this how come it’s about love when comes to bw\wm relationship but when it comes to bm/ww relationship we have to be weak, hateful towards black women, sell-outs you get the big picture. I know that is a four page letter and didn’t even enclose it with a kiss but I am calling you out email me back or you can just ignore it (which you probably will) and make it seems like i am just another angry black man just because a white guy has taking another black woman yeah yeah yeah. Oh I trust me I had more to say but I think that this is enough. You are the biggest hypocrit, bitter, sour sell out black woman I ever heard in my life but do I hate you for it NOPE……. You need to be one-hundred to these black women on here AND STOP JUDGING us black males like that it’s not even cute at all it makes you look even dumbe. Black women love whatever man that loves you black, white, latino, asian, indian whatever!!!!!!!! Please stop listening to this woman (now she I didn’t disrespect you are anything I just the creator how it is.)

Brian M.

GoldenAh: Say what?

Nothing personal Brian, but long rants like yours bore me.

You need to realize, I don’t care about your opinion(s). I don’t know you. You ain’t my peeps. The only black men I care about are family. But I don’t worry after them like children, because all of them know how to be a Man. They handle their business. In other words, they’re normal.

Your black male entitlement credit card isn’t accepted here. You cannot buy pity, sympathy, respect, or a facsimile of your imaginary “black community” here.

The current disaster of the “black community”, whether rural or urban, rests on the shoulders of you and your “brothas”. Not those of black women. The notion of a black matriarchal society, community, and culture is a myth. They’ve never existed. What’s going on is black male abandonment. Own it.

It’s a man’s world, and this entire mess belongs to y’all.

Furthermore, your issues are your problem. Some of y’all think you’re slick trying to get any, and all, black women worked up over your unresolved manhood issues. I’m not one of them.

You cannot make me feel guilty or sorry for you (and you are pitiful), because I’ve noticed – all of my life – how black males treat black women. Everyone notices. It’s a secret everyone knows: Google the stats – they’re easy to find.

Black women not talking about it won’t make it go away.

You’re bothered that the sistas come here and testify as to just how rotten, creepy, deadly, and sick some of y’all are. They come, because they can speak freely. They can no longer be guilt tripped into silence. No longer do they believe that “victimized” black males should be entitled, allowed or enabled to stomp and grind a black woman’s brains, dignity, color or complexion, beauty, “spicy” personality, and self-esteem into dust. Whereby this brutality towards black women somehow results in a re-built Utopian “black community”.

It don’t work no more.

Their stories show they are emancipated. They have moved on: mentally, emotionally, physically and financially. We all have. And more will join them. That’s why you’re squealing. You’re the proverbial pig that got struck.

You black males need to adjust to this fact: your competition has never been, and never will be, black women, it is other men. And black women don’t need y’all.

Their relationship goal(s) aren’t about scraping the same filthy bowl swapping pitiful, useless, and damaged beyond repair (dbr) black males for abusive white men. No, these women’s standards are higher. The non-black men black women decide to be with fits their criteria. It has nothing to do with a perceived shortage of black males. It’s simply that a majority of black males no longer measure up.

Who black women date, mate and marry is their business. Why they date, mate and marry non-black men is their business. They don’t need, or require, black male acceptance or permission. Your opinion and approval don’t mean jack. Their reasons for liking and loving non-black men don’t have to go through a Negro Interracial Committee acceptance vote.

So, mind your own business from now on.

You gonna need to take the same attitude a lot of black women take towards those who’ve made billions selling the world degrading rap(e) music – realize that the words negroes, bitch-ass-niggas, and stories of how badly these bastards treat others – don’t always apply to oneself.

In other words, if they ain’t talkin’ about you, then it ain’t about you.

And I will continue to blog what I want to blog about.

Consider that advice to help you sleep at night, you poor, distressed, little child.

Cheers. 😀

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For Black Women – No Respect: Is It Open Season on Black Women and Black Girls?

Thanks for the various links Amanda (BWMM) and Bellydancer. 🙂

They Don’t Respect Disabled Little Girls: Papa’s Gotta Straighten Them Out

A black father boards a bus to stop “children” from bullying his disabled daughter. I can tell you right now. Back in the day, if that had been me –  my Father, my Mother, my Uncles, my brothers, and half of the peeps on my block would have gone after these animals. And rest assured, the parents of these kids would have gotten their ish together and stopped that behavior. Whenever we pulled even mildly stupid crap, an adult, parent or not, came after us.

Folks are different today. Not sure if it’s something in the food, or if it’s just the sign of declining civility, responsibility, morality, or overall decency. Take your pick.

According to wftv.com:

A father, who was trying to protect his disabled daughter from her alleged bullies, was caught on camera threatening students on a school bus. James Jones’ daughter suffers from cerebral palsy and is now on suicide watch. The girl’s father boarded the school bus on September 3 and threatened students during a profanity-laced tirade.

The scene on the school bus via YouTube: click here.

Can you believe that it’s the father that got arrested? I don’t agree with his use of profanity and his threats, but I can imagine his frustration.

Like Amanda (BWMM) says: “Kudos for the dad. I think they weren’t expecting a father to come and check they asses.”

Yup. People think black FATHERS don’t care anymore about defending their daughters. They still exist. Despite what the anti-NWNW lunatics would have everybody believe.

They Don’t Respect Little Old Ladies: Chi-Town Shoot Out

An elderly woman in Chicago has to get out her gun to stop the neighborhood thug – who’s only 12 years old! – from continuing to harass and throw bricks at her home breaking the windows. One of the tossed bricks had hit her in the chest.

According to people.com:

Margaret Matthews, a 68-year-old woman living in Chicago’s Southeast Side, picked up a gun Tuesday night and shot a 12-year-old boy in the arm.

The upshot? The boy was cited for a misdemeanor crime – while she wasn’t charged with any wrongdoing. Matthews, neighbors say, was the target of constant harassment from the 12-year-old – a ringleader of a group of kids who allegedly vandalized Matthews’s home, broke items in her shed and even set her garbage on fire.

“I would say [the kids] were bulling her,” neighbor Frenchie Johnson told local TV station CBS2. “She stayed there by herself. They know that. And she’s one of the ladies that, she stands up for herself.”

I cannot even fathom what kind of child(ren) does this. Predator. Sociopath. I’m trying to picture even the worse thugs (back in the day) trying to pull this kind of nonsense. Wouldn’t happen. Only because the entire block had black fathers, white fathers, and other ethnic group fathers. The kids on welfare had daddies. The MEN back then wouldn’t let this kind of insanity get started, whether it was their son(s) or not.

According to the media, the only “parent” that boy has is his grandmother. There is no man to teach him right from wrong. That’s why he’s a menace. He considered her easy bait.

From chicagobreakingnews.com:

“She was being protective of herself,” said a man who lives next door. “What they did was wrong. Especially with her being an older woman.”

That’s a damn shame, living alone, and being victimized by generation 2.5 fatherless spawn. It’s too much like Dawn of the Dead.

They Don’t Respect Black Girls with White Boys: Stomping a Defenseless Couple

You know it’s end times when degenerate black males are inviting Latinos to physically disrespect black girls with their boyfriends. One would have thought that the last 20 odd years of hip hop, BET videos, and vile web sites / online forums would be enough. I suspect when black women / girls were talking about black and brown people working together, getting stomped and battered by them wasn’t what they expected.

I’m not surprised by this. This is the next step after the entertainment violence against black women, and it’s moving from the verbal street harassment to absolute anarchy. Let’s get real, it’s OPEN SEASON on black women and girls.

According to fox8.com news:

Cleveland Police Sgt. Sammy Morris tells Fox 8 News that three students from Rhodes High School have been arrested for felonious assault in connection with the attack of a young, interracial couple.

According to the police report, a group of eight boys ranging in age from 15 to 19, from James Ford Rhodes High School, followed the couple south on W. 50th Street. The suspects were making insulting, vulgar and aggressive comments like, “You’re cute but I’m gonna punch him in the face.”

Minutes later, the boys made good on that threat, but instead — they punched the female victim in the face.

… they were targeted because they are an interracial couple. The girl is African American and the boy is Caucasian. Her boyfriend defended her and was then viciously punched and kicked by the mob, the report said.

How brave these punks were. Notice how they attacked the girl first? That’s how it is for black males (and now their invited cohorts). If they aren’t verbally attacking black women / girls, then it’s all out physical assault. They would have attacked her even if she was alone. It’s what they normally do … see examples just cited.

They just didn’t expect the white MAN to defend her.

Open Season on Black Women and Black Girls: They Are Seen as Easy Prey

What’s the running theme in all of these stories? No one expects black women / black girls to be protected by anyone.

Why not? We haven’t been protected and respected over the years. Listen and look at what gets produced in the name of entertainment and how it’s directed at us. It’s non-stop insults, harassment, vileness, crudeness, and sickening racism / sexism. And it’s never ending. Whether it started on the streets and ended up as “entertainment” is irrelevant. Violence is still the end result.

Some of the cures – for those of you who take your well being seriously:

  • Stop feeding the monster(s) … socially, economically, financially, via web site hits, responding verbally / non-verbally, or any type of acknowledgment. Whatever it is. Get away. Get away.
  • Move. Nearly every real estate web site has crime stats. As soon as you are able: go where the crime rate is low. Don’t be surprised if that means living where black males are few, far away, and little seen. Your life, and perhaps those of your loved ones, depends on it.

Ladies, consider this: Who are your defenders? Cultivate some, whether it’s a glock, tazer, mace, or pit bull. Take your pick.

Learn to defend yourself: it’s time for us to stop being so vulnerable. Be safe.

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Black Magazines, Black Fashion: Burt-Murray Goes White and Vogue Africa is Fiction

Total Fiction: Vogue Africa

Vogue Africa by Mario Epanya

Vogue (Africa) doesn’t exist, but the pictures circulating the web are fascinating, intriguing, and perplexing. The photographer is Mario Epanya. He wanted Vogue (Conde Naste) to have this magazine showcasing Africa.

I’m curious and would like to ask: couldn’t he find investors in oil-rich Nigeria, diamond-rich South Africa, or booming Botswana to help out? I think his idea is outstanding. We can see from the cover and many more on some blogs – he obviously has the models and the talent.

Why must black men always go to white men with a cup in hand begging for something when he already has all the resources he needs to get started?

Vogue Africa Images

Angela Burt-Murray Prefers White

The Editor-in-Chief of Essence Magazine decided to go interracial, but only for her hiring decision(s). This appears to be the one time she believes in quality and the philosophy of “may the best wo/man win”. She wouldn’t dare encourage black women to seek men (of any race) that’s best for her. She saves the philosophy of seeking quality for herself.

Burt-Murray prefers to suggest black women go to strip clubs to find that purple unicorn “good black man” tucking $1 into LaFlowanda’s g-string. Great idea, Ms Burt-Murray. You gonna keep it real for those young women who are S.O.L. as they face a 2 million black male deficit.

Angela Burt-Murray wrote this stunning, articulate and brilliant essay explaining that the “White editor won’t diminish our love of black women.” The people who run Essence claim they have love for black women.

Oh, yeah! Dis must be love. Is this the kind of love, where your broken bones and black eyes are a result of love taps? That you complain too much, otherwise he wouldn’t have to hit you? You should be grateful he loves you, because no one can love someone such as yourself? Yeah, that kind of love.

She can keep it.

Who Should Replace Her

Don’t get me wrong: I don’t care about the fashion editor hire. I feel her comment about “quality” could apply to the following.

  • Encourage black women to be open to men (any race) who are quality as opposed to any-black-male-with-a-pulse worship. Stop encouraging their involvement with baby daddys, men in relationships, men in jail, ex-cons, men seeking FWB / hookups, and actors who mysteriously cannot find a “date” in Hollyweird.
  • As to her position as Editor-in-Chief, I said it on Huffington.com and I’ll say it here:

Next hire: a white woman to replace Angela Burt-Murray, because that white woman will have the vision and understanding of black women’s issues. Good hire, Time-Warner!

Her replacement can be those white women who sleep with black men featured on the cover of Essence, are given a black pass by blacks who put them on their blogs, defended by blacks who say silly things like “they’re not white”, and are called “black” due to negro-proxy*. That way Burt-Murray’s replacement wont actually be a white woman, but the modern-day black woman replacement we see featured everywhere. We wont even notice the difference.

It’s Not About Diversity

Folks can chatter about the importance of diversity in Burt-Murray’s hiring decision. Yet, I know this: one could literally find hundreds, if not thousands, of unemployed black women desperate for a job. She could have rotated the gig and given many of these black women a chance. Instead we get a high-school level snark essay about issues she think we should protest and boycott. She took the safe bet. I get it. Her bosses told her who to hire; she couldn’t come out and say it. Diversity is a catch phrase for: I don’t write the checks.

The case with Vogue in Africa and Essence is this: de boss man is de white man. But he’s not the villain here. His priorities are different. His focus is on money: advertisers, distribution, expenses, and circulation. Multiculturalism and diversity are the least of his concerns, but it makes a nice cover when you are forcing negroes to do your bidding.

However, black folks have nothing to complain about. If you want to showcase “black fashion and black beauty” in a high-end fashion magazine put your money where your mouth is.

I will tell you why it doesn’t happen: do black people really believe black women are as beautiful as white women?

Are we able to produce (without begging anybody for something) a first rate magazine? Yes, of course.

The reality is this: the effort has been tried and tried many times in the past, and you know what happens? No one bought the magazine(s).

*theroot.com – has this mess. the “blackest” white people around. this site is dr. gate’s brainchild.

Linky-Loos

  1. thegrio.com: why-africa-vogue-is-considered-out-of-fashion
  2. thegrio.com: essence-one-white-editor-wont-diminish-our-love-of-black-women
  3. thegrio.com: essence-white-editor-caught-up-in-off-color-controversy
  4. clutchmagonline.com: hires-white-fashion-director-leaves-loyal-readers-asking-why
  5. huffingtonpost: essence hires white fashion editor
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Wing Men Wanted for Jill Scott!

Wanted-for-hire:

  • Tall, not too buff, white and/or Asian man, martial arts expert, needed to play the roles of Wing Men for Jill Scott.
  • Must be fluent in hood speech (you just need to understand the latest slang).
  • You must be able to name all of her songs, and be acquainted with the foods she craves and loves.
  • You must have high tolerance for drama, and be extremely proficient at handling high-strung women.

Your job – should you decide to accept the assignment – is to pretend to be really, really, interested in Ms Scott.

Background Research

She’s in Essence Magazine, on national, and quite likely international, television declaring her desperate, desperate need for a brotha. Not just any LeTrellmonte from the hood, but a professional, well-to-do brotha.

Seems she’s seeing too many with de white wimmen. It makes her wince. It fills her with angst.

She claims to be speaking for a whole host of black wimmen. Millions of us. Everywhere. Everywhere you go, there’s de black wimmen wincing at de brothas with de white wimmen.

Le sigh.

Gentlemen, Here Are Your Roles: Action!

Mr. Wing Man – 1.  The following are instructions for how your assignment will proceed:

You will take Ms Scott out to a popular place where a lot of these PWB (professional working brothas) hang out.

Your job is to make PWB jealous. I know it’s an extremely hard and impossible task, but Ms Scott desperately needs your help. She refuses to get grief counseling.

But we’ve got our ways to help break the dry spell in her love life.

You two will take center table. It’s not enough to take out her chair. You have to hold her hand, look into her eyes, and declare loudly, “I am the luckiest man in the world.”

We will get the waiters to sing a love ballad (her song of course), and you will present her with a large bouquet of roses (must be red).

At this point, you leave for the men’s room.

Remember to eyeball all the PWBs in the room, before you head out.

Mr. Wing Man – 2.  The following are instructions for how your assignment will proceed:

You will come into the room, and take Mr. Wing Man – 1’s  seat.

Stand and shout, “You are so beautiful, Jill.” Look around the room.

Then sit again. Grab her hand and kiss it. Kiss it again.

Put your hand on your heart. Give her a yellow rose. Make your exit.

Like Mr. Wing Man – 1, make sure to eyeball every PWB in the room, before you leave.

Wrap-up for Mr. Wing Man – 1:

Return.

Without bothering to eat, or take in the entertainment, or whatever, grab her hand, and escort her out.

Based on your urgency, people will see a passionate couple looking to leave early.

This time, do not look at the PWBs.

Must be repeated bi-monthly.

Now, these performances wont raise the interest of the PWBs, ’cause if dey like de white wimmen dat’s what dey want. But it may make a few jealous, and it will give Jill Scott all the attention she desperately craves and needs.

Maybe in future she’ll clarify that she’s speaking for herself, instead of cloaking her opinion as a “black wimmen’s issue with interracial dating.” Only for you Jill, only for you.

Some of us black wimmens actually love men of all races, creeds, and colors.

As for who de brothas are with, “Who gives a flying #$&*?” I wish they would only wince when we’re with our non-Black guys, ’cause they are damn well ultra nosy, noisy, and criminally stupid about it.

Now, I have to go burn my copy of Essence Magazine, right after removing Zoe Saldana from the cover, and related contents, for keepsake.

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