Black Women – Devil’s Advocate: Has our femininity been denied?

It’s September, and it’s Devil’s Advocate* month. This topic will be a bit spicier than usual. :D

Are black women allowed to be women? Has our femininity been denied or compromised? Do we have the right to be respected, protected, and cherished like all other women?

We are accused of being jealous acid tossing lunatics by lying media whores. We are accused of being overly racially sensitive when we are being insulted by deranged bigoted radio talk show hosts. We are the first ones tossed under the political bus by individual(s) we overwhelmingly support out of misguided and ignorant racial loyalty.

Most of our issues are ignored by or are back-burner issues of so-called women’s groups. All of our issues are ignored by “civil rights” groups, unless it is to lay blame in our direction, raise funds from us, or rally around violent black male felon(s) who are a lethal and deadly menace to black women and men in their neighborhoods. We are berated, harassed, and demeaned to put all out, audition for a date, and prove our worth to useless black males who wont lift a finger to respect, provide, or protect us.

How are we being portrayed in the mainstream media right now?

One of the latest covers of Elle’s magazine is mendacious. No, it is beyond that, it is evil.

One of these pictures is not like the others.

Gabourey Sidibe a.k.a. Gabby

It winks: We’re making fun of her, ’cause this is the best looking actress they (black people) have to offer. They have three average looking, cosmetically enhanced white women all glammed up. We get someone who pc-wise people are gushing to declare is beautiful, acceptable, and attractive. Elle couldn’t use Jennifer Hudson?

And miss me with the garbage about hating on Ms. Sidibe. This topic is deeper than that.

Who do these folks think they’re fooling? The publisher of Elle is French – Hachette Filipacchi Media U.S., Inc. (HFM U.S.) , and the editor-in-chief is Robbie Myers. That’s who’s making a mockery of this black woman and the rest of us.

Is this their answer to requests for black staff? Investments in black magazines? Whether black women are attractive? Oh, I know, this fits the “Black women don’t sell covers. We lose money with their faces on the magazine” B.S.

Why is she the only big person?

Hey, I would ecstatically and gladly accept Ms. Sidibe as part of the unique, multicultural, fat acceptance, and “quirky looking people are beautiful too” cover, once they have a 400 pound homely white woman, with too much makeup on, wearing a tent-sized red mu-mu, and her stringy dishwater hair looking like dry straw, filling an entire magazine cover.

White women don’t “other” themselves. They are very, very protective of their image as feminine, sexy, and desirable women – despite the carping of “feminists” over some images.

Someone once said: I’d rather they ignore us than pay us this kind of attention.

You need to watch them. They are quite eager to get black women to be the tough-manly-gal, the jealous-and-hateful-acid-throwing chick, the loudmouth sassy troublemaker, the office mammy / Oprah / free therapist, and the “oh, you’re so brave to be xyz” kind of person.

Ask yourself these questions: At work, do some of these chicks come to you complaining about people like you’re going to be the one to set their tormentors straight? Do you get asked to lift heavy objects when there are plenty of guys around they could ask? Are you always volunteered for clean-up duty, cooking, or bringing in food? Do people push their leftovers, Halloween Candy, fattening meals, or other unhealthy garbage at you? I’m sure there are more examples that come to mind.

I’ll repeat myself: I might be willing to accept the alternative “other” images of us, once they let Ellen DeGeneres and Rachel Maddow on MSNBC be as unattractive and masculine as their original, keeping-it-real selves used to be. But if you notice, the first thing they went through was a total and complete makeover. They were made to conform to an ideal;  an existing feminine and attractive package.

Ladies. All of these people out there enjoy “othering” you. DO NOT EMBRACE IT. Let those bitches go first.

It’s a disgusting and deadly thing these people like to do to black women. When you accept “othering”, MEN wont and do not regard you as feminine. They will not come and protect you. You leave yourself vulnerable. That’s why people like throwing “strong black woman” at us. No one feels we are entitled to respect, protection, to be provided for, or cherished like other women.

Nearly everywhere one looks, there’s an overweight, or obese black woman (who’s often loud) receiving  mainstream media attention and accolades. Even if her career is going to last 5 minutes. Or maybe she’s the face of an extremely harsh and pungent detergent, feminine yeast problems, or other unattractive ailments, and even if she’s pleasant, the product is nice – there’s something off about her.

That big loud woman fits a mammy stereotype. Things haven’t changed when it comes to this offensive image of black women. She’s been around since Gone With the Wind and before. Her imagine was created to “other” us. I honor and respect her sacrifices. Black women needed these roles to survive and thrive.

However, we do not need to embrace her now.

A lot of us – feeling conflicted – honestly believe that if we embrace these “othering” images, they’ll eventually give way to those of beautiful, feminine, graceful and glamorous black women. Haven’t we been here before?

Don’t black women realize that when we ARE making strides, they deliberately bring up garish images of us?

Unfortunately, some of us fight each other over it, because for a number of us it means some kind of “acceptance” in all our diverse glory. I notice that this diversity almost always happens to be represented by the same type of morbidly obese, grotesquely crude, asexual and unfeminine black woman. I’m not putting all of this at Ms. Sidibe’s door. But would she have been as widely embraced if she was as slim as Zoe Saldana after doing only one bloody damn movie? At least Ms. Saldana has several blockbusters under her belt.

Funk that nonsense. I am not embracing “otherness.” I want black women to look as hot, glamorous, sexy, desirable, and feminine as the average looking, cosmetically enhanced, photoshopped white chicks on the cover of any magazine. We are women too. We can look as good, if not better, than they do.

Do we believe we are feminine? Are we equal to them as women? Or have we gone so deep down the “othering”, unfeminine and unattractive well that if Tyler Perry showed up as Madea on the cover of a magazine as an Influenial Black Woman – we’d talk about how much progress that is for us? Or would we only complain about the dress and wig he chose to wear? Would we miss the insult entirely?

I think we’re still missing the insult(s).

Black women wake up. Embrace being a woman first. These people are working hard to rob us of our womanhood, our femininity, and sense of self. Don’t let them do it. Don’t accept this distorted view of ourselves, where we are the “other.”

We are women. Our luminous, satiny, and beautiful dark skins do not detract or subtract from that.

*According to Wikipedia, Devil’s Advocate is:

In common parlance, a devil’s advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, just for the sake of argument. In taking such position, the individual taking on the devil’s advocate role seeks to engage others in an argumentative discussion process. The purpose of such process is typically to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure, and to use such information to either improve or abandon the original, opposing position.
Share

Black Women – Devil’s Advocate: Are Black Males Real Men?

It’s September, and it’s Devil’s Advocate* month.

I was sent a link to this picture. Thanks Chocholatestar. 😀

We don’t know who created it, but it does beg the question: Are black males real men? People like to pretend that out of wedlock (OOW) births are an issue that is the sole responsibility of, and problem for, black women to resolve. It is not. Although black people love to embrace this particular myth, I need to repeat this fact to shatter it. Black culture or societies, whether in America, or around the world are NOT matriarchal. It never has been. Not by accident, not by default, and not by design.

It is a man’s world. Always has been, always will be. People enjoy tossing the words “strong black woman” and matriarchal around to hide a glaringly obvious defect: black males are failing as men. Their sole competitors are other men, not black women. Socially, economically, and developmentally they are lagging behind. Black women cannot fix that problem for them. No matter how financially generous, emotionally supportive, abject, submissive, relentlessly hyper-critical and abnegating of self – you cannot lift nor mold an “adult” black male into a man. It is self-destructive. It is the core of dysfunction.

Years ago, a radio talk show host I was listening to, without an ounce of political correctness in his body, made the following joke:

Question: “What is Father’s Day called in the black community?”

Answer: “Who’s My Daddy Day.”

So not only does a national talk show host know about the situation, it’s considered a joke. Despite what people may think: the joke is on black males, not black women.

Recently, a football coach of a prominent college mentioned that the only recruits that interest him are those with a father involved in his life. I think the coach was one of the few people talking about a strategy that people already utilize without giving voice to. Despite the polite chatter of the mass media, in real life people are quietly and severely penalizing the OOW offspring of black males.

Why? Because if they don’t care about their children, why should they expect others to?

Which brings me to this point: why mess with a male who statistically is predisposed not to marry, provide protection, bring resources to the relationship, offer support, or bother to raise his own children? Jill Scott may wince at “brothas” who are marrying non-black women, but she willingly had a child for one with a I-Am-Irresponsible neon sign over his head.

Is she a masochist? Perhaps.

Black women, do yourselves a favor, don’t join the masochists’ club(s). You are entitled to be happy. Don’t let anybody tell you that you are selfish, greedy, mercenary, a gold digger or desperate, because you seek a MAN who is going to do the things that most normal men around the world automatically do: marry, provide for their families, and raise their children.

Always consider this: there are millions of illegal immigrant MEN willing to face murderous gangs, cross a deadly border, walk for thousands of miles in the desert, eagerly join our military, and work from dust to dawn at sub-minimum wages just to send their meager earnings home to feed, clothe, and shelter HIS WIFE and KIDS.

Why? Because that’s what REAL MEN do.

*According to Wikipedia, Devil’s Advocate is:

In common parlance, a devil’s advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, just for the sake of argument. In taking such position, the individual taking on the devil’s advocate role seeks to engage others in an argumentative discussion process. The purpose of such process is typically to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure, and to use such information to either improve or abandon the original, opposing position.
Share

Black Women – Devil’s Advocate: You Gotta Chase a White Man

It’s September, and it’s Devil’s Advocate* month. Let’s have some fun, shall we? :D

You’ve been dateless, man-free, and frustratingly single this entire summer, month, year, decade, or century.

All these BWE / BW-IR blogs are starting to work your last nerve. Why?

You are getting so effing tired of hearing all these damn rules of what YOU gotta do to get you some swirl action.

You are getting so tired of these relentlessly cheerful, unnaturally happy, skinny ass, absolutely perfect, nauseatingly special black women who find it sooooo dayumn easy to get hold of a (white) man. It’s like some of these chicks rolled out of bed, opened the front door, and there stood Mr. Prince Charming with a dozen red roses in one hand and a 14kt diamond engagement ring in the other. It’s gotta be maddening to find out that he looks like Bradley Cooper or Jonathan Rhys Meyers with Ryan Reynolds’s deliciously hot body.

It’s been a long, long, dry (really dry and you’re thirsty ’bout now), hot summer, and you didn’t get yours.

The “solutions” that keep coming are fast and furious, yet they’re not only contradictory, they seem annoyingly unrealistic and unreachable. You wanna hear some “keepin’ it real” advice from one black woman to another. Not stuff you could easily read in any white woman’s magazine or The Rules book.

Everywhere you go – you keep asking the same question: Where are all these wonderful white men these chicks keep finding? ‘Cause no one’s really looked your way since your hairdresser “accidentally” dyed your hair baboon-ass red, and promised the color would fade in a week.

As the Devil’s Advocate, I’m here to confirm your worst fears: finding a man will be hardest task you’ve ever undertaken. The truth of the matter is: these white guys really aren’t checking for YOU. Of course, it’s easy for all these other ladies. But for you? Pshaw. You will have to roll up your sleeves and get to work.

I know the excuses. So let’s throw them under the bus:

  • you’re not heading to Europe for a man.
  • you have no intention of traveling for luv.
  • you’re not losing 10-50+ plus pounds just to get a man. they gotta love you as you are.
  • you’re not joining any clubs that are dominated by men.
  • you’re uniquely quirky (weird) with a strange sense of humor. guys don’t dig you.
  • you don’t want to hear any mess about your hair. ever again.
  • you ain’t planning on grinning and skinning all day for no man. he’s gotta understand you have moods.
  • you’re not buying any new clothes. funk that. you love lumberjack flannel shirts.
  • you know the truth that no one else will ever admit: most, if not all, white men just don’t like black women!!!!

Sorry. You’re gonna have to make changes, but let’s ease into it.

Let me roll out some things here that you might want to think about, but don’t over think about.

  • How often and how long do you make eye contact with an attractive (in your eyes) man? Long, short, blink and gone?
  • Do you smile and say hello first? If he doesn’t respond, do you think you weren’t loud enough or that the dude probably hates black women and you swear you’ll never to do it again?
  • Do you believe men know what you’re thinking?
  • Do you assume you know what men are thinking when they look at you? Are your thoughts negative, neutral, or positive?
  • Are you able to have a conversation without uttering one negative word or thought? That one might not be easy.
  • How’s your body language? Closed or open? Arms folded a lot? Do you lean towards the person or away?
  • Do you shy away or hide from men? It’s possible you’re doing it subconsciously.
  • Ever went to a party / gathering and decided to touch every guy when crossing the room? You know, just a light caress down the arm. If you’re feeling bold, turn your head, smile, and look ‘em up and down… Practice makes perfect.
  • Online dating is hit and miss: stop joining sites where 98.23% of the white guys will date anybody, even other men, but a black woman. Seek out the interracial sites, the men are half-way there and willing. That makes sense, right?
  • Relax. Relax. Relax. Flirt. Flirt. Flirt.
  • Get in the habit of making friends with white men. Friends. Friends. Friends. With no benefits. Keep it platonic.

I have more bad news for you.

There is no magical interracial swirl fairy. You’re gonna have to get a man the old-fashioned way: chase him down and collar him. To chase a man means being coy, witty, friendly, feminine, and slightly seductive. That takes practice.

Have fun.

*According to Wikipedia, Devil’s Advocate is:

In common parlance, a devil’s advocate is someone who, given a certain argument, takes a position he or she does not necessarily agree with, just for the sake of argument. In taking such position, the individual taking on the devil’s advocate role seeks to engage others in an argumentative discussion process. The purpose of such process is typically to test the quality of the original argument and identify weaknesses in its structure, and to use such information to either improve or abandon the original, opposing position.
Share

For Black Women: Please Have Sex With White Men

That got your attention, didn’t it?

Apparently, my old, old post Why White Men are a Better Choice was interpreted (by the mentally handicapped and functionally illiterate) as a heartfelt plea for black women everywhere to sex it up with all the nearest and available white men.

It seems that I’ve been successful at convincing “quality good black women” to go find themselves a white man and ignore all the “good black men” a.k.a. purple unicorns out there. I had no idea I had so much power.

Will everyone please help make me a multimillionaire?

I never mentioned sex. I mentioned marriage. Quite delightfully, black women who are married to or dating white men provided the most lovely, heartfelt and wonderful testimonies and feedback. Nearly all of them wanted or had a husband, nearly each and every one of them was reasonably happy with a man, who happened to be white, who treated them with respect, love, devotion, and protection (emotional and financial).

As far I’m concerned, a happy black woman is a wonderful thing. Interesting how people who worry about black women having sex with white men, never concern themselves with her happiness. Well, it’s because they don’t care about black women in the first place, but we already know that.

You’ve Heard This Propaganda Before

I’ll briefly go over the reasons people are against black women / white men unions. Tell me if it all doesn’t sound familiar.

In the following paragraphs, the “he” I’m referring to is a white man.

  1. He (the white man) just wants sex. Ans. So? Men like sex.  So do a healthy number of women. I’d be disturbed if a guy was with me and didn’t want sex. I don’t mean jump in the sack immediately, but if he never showed any attraction, I’d be like: What’s up with that?
  2. He’ll use you and leave you. Ans. Black women are having more children out of wedlock with the “brothas” than those married to purple unicorns.
    • LeBron James recently referred to his baby mama as a “sidekick”. Isn’t he supposed to be a purple unicorn? He’s leaving the sidekick and spawn behind while he seeks out lighter and brighter pastures in Miami. Anyone want to put money on a bet that his next chick will be Latina or white and he’ll want to marry her?
  3. White men raped our great-great-(number of greats may vary) grandmothers. Ans. I wont trivialize slavery or Jim Crow or any era people suffered through. However, I’m not a slave, and I’m not living in the past.
    • Today’s white man isn’t the one raping and abusing black women in record numbers (see Dunbar Village and other atrocities). Plus, with the number of black men chasing down, co-habitating, and marrying white women, it is apparent the “brothas” have forgiven white women for getting black men lynched back in those days.
    • Black men have no problem treating white women like queens, giving them all of his money, and by extension white men. I’ve always noticed that if a negro makes a lot of money, the first thing he’ll do is find a white woman to give it to.
    • So what’s wrong with a black woman being with a white man who will marry her, stay around to raise the kids, provide financial support, and all that good stuff?
  4. His johnson is pink. Ans. Don’t underestimate the power of pink. Your stuff is pink too. (TMI coming: the color of his johnson may vary anyway.)
  5. His johnson isn’t big. Ans. How would you know the actual johnson size of 100 plus million men? Yes, that’s right there are over 100 million white men in America. Do all the black men who keep telling you this: have they peeked at all of them? Do all the black women who claim this: have they slept with all of them? And why are they obsessed with that?
  6. He can’t satisfy a black woman. Ans. At least he’s willing to use his tongue. For hours. Nuff said.
  7. It hurts black men to see black women with white men. Ans. Do any of those negroes out there who talk about how perfectly beautiful or hot the Kardashians, or any white women they are with, worry about any black women’s feelings? Don’t you get tired of hearing: “Black women are this and that – that’s why I only date white women”?
    • Whether the black male is a family relation, friend, or a stranger you call a “brotha” who you date, sex, mate, and marry is really NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Their overinflated, easily bruised, excessively touchy, delicate and fragile egos are not worth the PRICE OF YOUR HAPPINESS. Frankly, if these negroes aren’t taking care of you and yours they need to GET LOST with a quickness.
    • Their opinions aren’t worth a bucket of warm spit, and mine isn’t either. I’m certainly not here to tell you what to do.
  8. White men don’t find black women attractive, or they will not make you a wife. Ans. Does the number who are attracted really matter? You only need one good man.
    • White men / black women have the lowest rates of divorce, even over white men with white women, and especially black men married to anybody even black women. Your own personal mileage will vary.
    • At least with white men you can statistically find one that will actually like your hair, your complexion, your beautiful skin, your loving spirited personality, and just be into you, because you are an AWESOME BLACK WOMAN.
  9. Your children will grow up confused. Ans. This last one is my hypothesis: folks just don’t want to see the children of black women by white men receive the kind of privileges some white children have. If all black kids are in dire straights together people are comforted by that. However, if the exception turns out to be these children….
  10. Good black men exist! Ya’ll just want thugs. Ans. I never said disregard purple unicorns. If a black woman, or anybody, can find those extra 2 million plus purple unicorns that black women need for companionship, then wonderful!!! You’ve achieved a major miracle.

Now, that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ll repeat the header: Please have sex with white men.

***
Update: I’m always thrilled to get input by men. Frank M. just knocks it out of the park!

Betty.  I decided to write my own answers for their arguments.  Feel free to use or just read if you’re interested.

1.    He (the white man) just wants sex. Ans.  Companionship, friendship, and emotional support during good times and bad are just as important in any relationship.  BW, in my experience, are fiercely loyal and supportive to those they love, so choosing to date a BW is NOT just about sex.  How can BM use this argument with a straight face with all the fatherless kids running around the BC anyway?  If anyone has PROVEN (through their actions) and promoted (through their music) that they just want sex, it’s BM.

2.    White men raped our great-great-(number of greats may vary) grandmothers. Ans. What is more of a danger to a BW today?  A man who has been dead for a hundreds of years??  Or the group of men harassing her on the street today?  BM don’t rape?  African countries are dealing with rape at epidemic proportions.  And that is in within THIS decade.  Rape within the black community in America is swept under the rug, but we all know it exists.  I would argue that within the last 100 years, rape of BW is done by BM, not WM.

3.    His johnson is pink. Ans. Actually it’s light brown, but thanks for being interested. LOL

GoldenAh: I fell out of my chair at this one. 😀

4.    His johnson isn’t big. Ans.  Judging by the compliments I’ve received from bw in bed, it’s big ENOUGH.  LOL.  All jokes aside, part of the reason BM are in the position they are in is because they judge too much of their masculinity and pride on something that doesn’t define a man.  Being a man is about a lot more than your physical body.  Choosing to identify all of your self-worth on one body part you had no control over is idiotic.  This myth came from racists attempting to scare WW out of fornicating with blacks due to potential injury.

As humorous as that sounds, BM took this racist myth and made it a source of pride.   They did the same thing with the “N” word.  Neither of those reversals of racist ideas has benefited BM or black people in general.  It’s time to let go of both of these.  Most of us (non-BM) aren’t buying it anymore either.  We’ve seen too many examples of BM who aren’t packing and it only gives all the average-sized BM an unnecessary inferiority complex that leads them to try and “prove” their manhood by acting like hyper-sexual, aggressive, violent homophobes or the super black militant crazies who secretly date WW.  LOL Ok that last part was my personal theory.

5.    He can’t satisfy a black woman. Ans.  (Rolls eyes)  Why?  Are they are different species?  Didn’t seem all that difficult to me.  If they keep coming back for more, maybe I’m doing something right?  I’ve met tall, thick, big-hipped women with smaller “canals” so the idea that they can’t be satisfied due to body type is ridiculous.

GoldenAh: Men can be so frank. 😀

6.    It hurts black men to see black women with white men. Ans. Whose issue is that?  Hers?  Or yours.  Get over it.  Seeing WW with BM makes me feel nothing.  She doesn’t belong to me, and I don’t possess her just because we happen to have a similar skin tone.  Once again, get over it.  Stop living in the past, plz. Thx.

7.    White men don’t find black women attractive, or they will not make you a wife. Ans. I am a heterosexual man, therefore, I am attracted to WOMEN, of any race.  I can’t help it, it’s in my biology.  Neither can women.  If anyone to say they are not attracted to an entire ethnicity, they are LYING .  As for making a BW a wife?  Hundreds of thousands of WM have and it is the fastest growing IR union in the USA. Theory over?

8.    Your children will grow up confused. Ans. Children are individuals, and they can only be confused if they allow themselves to be confused by listening to negative/divisive opinions about who they are or should be.  Think Obama is “confused”?  Seems like a pretty well-adjusted evolved human to me.  “Pure-raced” young people feel confused all the time so that theory holds no water for me.

9.     Good black men exist! Ya’ll just want thugs. Ans. Wrong.  Women want confident, secure individuals with strength.  If thugs are the only BM’s projecting these qualities, then those of you weaker (Beta) BM might need to work on your self-confidence and attraction skills.

Also, in the white community, the alpha males are the most successful, not the least.  You won’t see them them hanging out on street corners looking “fly” or languishing in prison. And for the BM who are doing legitimately well, they seem to choose the lightest, brightest BW or non-BW who will have them.  This doesn’t leave a lot of attractive BM’s for BW to choose from.

What are they supposed to do?  Or that’s right, wait for you to come along, so you can string them along until you are done using them for your own personal desires. LOL I think BW are finally wising up to that game.

GoldenAh: As we can see here, even by casual observation a white man can see the game being played on black women. Wooo.

Awesome feedback, Frank M. Thanks.

😀

***

Share

For Black Women: When Your Choices Make Other People Or Your “Friends” Mad

The following comment, and question, was sent to me by the intelligent and lovely Chocolatestar:

I wanted to send you this video and get your thoughts on this. I’m not sure if it’s just me and my strong opinionated personality, but i’m quite tired of black women bashing other black women, who call black men out on their self destructing behavior and hatred for their women.

Is it a crime to not be attracted to their characteristics( emotionally damaged, etc) or even want to take risks on black men, especially after observing the resulting trends.

I’m so tired of hearing how there are so many good black men out here, if i was interested in them I would be saying where they at, where they at. It’s funny who this chick ended up with after all.

I just recently ended a friendship with a bw, who was a christian extremist.

I sent her your essay on “Why white men are better” and she flipped her lid, saying that she has a black son and will never sabotage black men, because she love them so much and will only date a black man (yet the best man she ever had, her words, was a guy who was a drug dealer her babies daddy and eventually got shot down) and anyone blogging and reading essays bashing black men needs help.

Yet many have ran her through the dirt She went too far excusing their trending behavior with bible versus and the antebellum era. I tired to tell her that the essay to me was a clever way of counterbalancing the attacks bestowed upon black women who prefer white men over the ” kings” of the world bm ( yeah right).

Anyway I probably could rant more, but I have a test in the morning.

“Resurrection” – The Lost Black Man

I left out the video link. There are dozens, if not more, videos made by “strong”, “angry”, and “resentful” ultra-black wo/men demanding black women regard all black males with adoration, worship, reverence, and extreme diffidence. To place the value of any man before God tells you well enough that some people are a few fries short of a $1 happy meal.

There are people who believe black women compete (in any arena) with black men. It’s an amazing fallacy that has little merit in the real, mainstream, global, and international patriarchal world. Black women mostly struggle with financial sacrificing, relationship sustaining, parenting, and “saving the black community” alone. That’s not a strong functioning matriarchal system, that’s living with male abandonment.

Black men are in competition with other men
. All men are. It’s a man’s world. That’s never changed, and never will. The fact is black men lost – roughly 500 years ago. It’s likely they’re never going to catch up. At least, not for the next 100 years.

Black women cannot win it for them, no matter how hard they try to “man up” and do it. Which is why there are black women on YouTube, blogs, writing books, making hostile comments, and singing songs trying to “resurrect” black males back into the game. It wont work by encouraging an orgasmic savoring of masochism, sexism, and racism amongst black women, or false idol worship of black men. Her loss is not a black male’s gain.

But hey, good luck with that strategy folks. We can see from the last 30 plus years how well that’s worked out.

Friend of My Friend, Friend of My Enemy

I’d advise you not to argue with your friends, non-friends, and strangers about the men you may choose as a partner in life. No one actually has a say in the matter. What they think is irrelevant. If we go to them about these issues, it’s like we are looking for their acceptance. And we really cannot have that, can we? Do we go to the poor on how to become rich?

I’d also suggest you let your friends be if they are the ride-or-die, or black men only, type. We’d all like to be on the same page with our friends, but sometimes it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie. However, since this person is vehemently against non-black men to the point of belligerent, irrational racism, and it will cause you personal pain (and don’t we always run into people like that?), then yeah, you are right to cut them loose.

As for the video, you may be surprised, but my feeling about the criticism of black women like us from militant black wo/men is: C’est la vie. Shrug. I don’t care. Sure, sometimes I’d like to smack some sense into them. Yet, if the Titanic is sinking, and they don’t care: What’s there for us to worry about? Our goal is to make sure we are not on the ship with them.

To a degree we love (most) of our people(s). We’d love to see all of them behave rationally, intelligently, do well, and be happy. But at the end of the day – we all gotta choose our own paths. We have to worry about our own happiness first and foremost.

So I ask you, ignore the hate, don’t seek these forums / idiotic people out. It’ll make you miserable.

You sound like you have your life together, so keep on pressing on. ‘Cause when you listen to these morons, whether you think it affects you or not, you may end up sabotaging yourself in the future.

The subconscious is one hell of a thing to get a handle on.

Share

For Black Women: When White Men Are Buddies With a “Brotha”

When a white man is buddies with a “brotha”, I know I don’t want him. The white guy doesn’t have to “hate” black men, but if he’s one of those white guys who feels like he needs to have street cred, or likes to call black men “brothas”, then I don’t wanna see ya. I want a guy who is “white.” He must be all the whiteness he can be: Abercrombie and Fitch, Brooks Brothers type of man, yo.

So if a white man is getting even within firing range of the toxic zone misogynistic mentality of some of these black male cretins, that tells me his mind is getting polluted with vicious anti-bw propaganda. And I’ve met my share who wanna be down with the homies.

Oh, hell no. Go away.

Why?

Well, looky-looky here. I want to bring your attention to this comment by Paul G. all excerpted from Clutch online. His comment is part of the article: The View From the Other Room: What White Men Think About Dating Black Women.

By the way, I rarely read their comments section, it’s always the same eight people.

Here’s what Paul G. said about black women (the brackets are my comments):

It’s not the media that scares me away from not wanting to date a black women, it’s black men that make me think differently.

[GoldenAh: Are you really this simpleminded?]

I say that to say this, and I’m only giving you my observation… I see a lot of black men running around with a white girl on their arm, which is fine, but when I’ve sat down with brothers and asked them why they don’t like dating black women, they always have something negative to say about you guys, whether it be your attitude, your jealousy, or the thought that you guys want to play the man of the house. I don’t need to watch to TV to see what I can see when I walk down the block. But I don’t have to buy into that either, which I don’t, but I am aware of what’s being said about yall by your own men.

[GoldenAh: They are not my men, or our men. And that, dear Sir, is the problem right there.]

It’s a shame to see that. – Paul G.

I don’t know the man. I’ve skimmed over the comments of all of the white guys whose comments make up part of the article. But this guy’s words hung around like an eye stinging fart in an elevator.

It just reads like, “Who you goin’ to believe? Me or your lying eyes?” (Richard Pryor).

Remember that song, “Don’t ask my neighbor, come to me”? Well, my advice is, if you want to know about black women: come talk to us. The “brothas” hate their own mothers and sisters, that should tell you everything what’s wrong with them.

A guy like Paul G. can continue to stay far far away from black women, because he values the words of anti-bw misogynists over valuing us as just women. The guy is a coward, plain and simple. He, too, is a sexist racist. That’s my take. He can dress it up in blaming how “da brothas” around him talk their crap, or whatever negativity he’s looking for in the media, but at the end of the day: he is taking heed.

If you wanted to know the kind of white guys to stay away from, Paul G. fits the profile.

I ain’t mad at the dude, he’s made me realize how poisonous and evil these negroes are.

Share

For Black Women: White Men Hunting – Lesson Number 92

Sometimes the comments are so good, they get their own posts.

In this one, White Men Hunting – Lesson Number 92, you will have the answers to oft-repeated questions, such as:

  • Where are the white men?
  • How do I find one?
  • How do I get one to ask me out?
  • I don’t look like Beyonce or Halle, will they like me?
  • Am I too old at age (fill in the blank)?

Starting with the excellent comment by Anna (middle name). She addresses the age-old issue of: Now, how are white men supposed to know you like them if you never hang around them?

Anna (middle name) says:

If you want to be in the swirl, there is one way to make that happen that is only obvious after someone connects the dots for you. That’s how it happened for me, too.

What is it, you ask?

Just hang out with white guys. Even if none of those guys that you’re hanging with ask you out, other WM will see you with them, figure that you actually must like white guys and be comfortable around them, approach you, and ask you out. It works like a charm.

I know. I am 26, and in the roughly 18 months I’ve been hanging out with these three white guys I know, I’ve been asked out by three different white guys, guys that are friends of my friends. And one of those guys I went out with is now my steady boo.

I’m not Beyonce and I’m not Paula Patton or Eve, either. I am not beautiful, I’m average looking. I’m thin (white guys like that), but other than that, I look like a lot of other black chicks. I’m just average.

I hear BW that want to meet white men say they want to meet white guys, but they can’t, but then, they’re never around any white people, so I don’t know they’re expecting to meet white guys that way. If all you’re around is black people, then all you’re going to meet is more black people, ladies.

Make friends with some white men, even if those guys are not guys you would want to date. Be seen with those white guys by other white guys, some of which you will want to date. This simple formula eluded me for a long time. It’s blindingly obvious once it’s obvious, right?

Put yourself in front of WM that are dating material by socializing with other white men. This really, really works. And, it also helps you get to know white guys a lot better so that when the “dating material” guy shows up, you are ready to communicate (wink) with him. You’ve already had your tutorial on white men, you’re ready to go.

And before any of you grow shy and dismiss your own chances, read the following two comments of encouragement.

The next is by the lovely sistahwuman with a wonderful relationship. (And I still want her man.)

sistahwuman says:

It’s been my experience that you just never know with WM in terms of which one will be open to dating a BW. I have always solved this problem by being open to any quality man, even if I thought the chances of him wanting to date IR were probably low. My current situation is a great example.

As I mentioned before, my boyfriend looks to be just about the whitest guy in the world. Nothing unusual about him, he dresses conservatively, he speaks like he came out of prep school, which he did, and he’s tall and good-looking, but in a low-key sort of way. And if you knew him, you would know that he drinks scotch straight up, smokes cigars, watches football, etc. Typical guy stuff, especially typical white guy stuff, but throw in the fact that he’s a handsome guy and doesn’t lack for offers of female company, also makes a good living at a stodgy old firm, and as a BW, you might say that your chances with such a guy are probably not great. He’s just too white! Am I right?

But, I made sure he knew I was interested in him. You can’t win if you don’t play, right, ladies? And much to my surprise, he responded to that interest immediately.

Here is something else: that calm exterior hides a hot, passionate nature underneath. Wow!

So, you just never know. My advice to all those BW considering an IR is to try not to knock anyone out of contention based on your initial perception of them. Obviously, some men will eliminate themselves immediately by saying or doing something stupid or disrespectful, but that happens across all races. No, I’m talking about the kind of guys that play it close to the vest, the ones that are laying back until they get a signal from you that it’s ok to approach you. All these other sisters know what I’m talking about, I’m sure. Most WM of any kind of substance are going to be cautious in their approach. So, all I’m saying is, your initial impression of his level of his real or potential interest in you may not be accurate – my man says he noticed me immediately and was quite attracted to me, but did nothing to alert me to that until he got the go-ahead from me in conversation.

Just sayin’.

You don’t have to be perfect to find the perfect situation.

Last, but not least, the wise words of magicwoman. You can never be too old. It’s never too late to start looking.

magicwoman says:

First of all, I am 44.

Second, in the interests of keeping it as real as possible here, I want to list all the cons that any honest BW would say I bring to the table in terms of a possible IR relationship:

I am 44.

I am a dark sister.

I am tall, 5′10″.

I wear my hair short and natural.

My financial situation is shaky and always has been.

I have a very large, surly black teenage son who resents any man that is around his mother.

I am smart, but I got an awful education. Sometimes it’s tough for me to participate in certain conversations because I just don’t know enough about the subject.

I have a large, goofy dog that flings himself at everyone he likes even a little bit.

Here are the pros:

I still have a great body, thank god. I am slim, but curvy. I hit the gym hard.

I have a wonderful smile, with dazzling white teeth.

I still have a pretty face.

I’m a nice person and people seem to be able to sense that.

I’m smart, even if not well-educated.

I like the same music most WM my age like – more important than you think.

I’m not a complainer or a whiner – WM love this.

I take of my man in every way possible, from the little things to the big things. What BM just expect, WM are always just surprised to get. My guy says he’s never felt so looked after in his whole life.

I have a big goofy dog that most WM like when the dog is not trying to lick them to death.

All I’m saying here is that whatever pros and cons come with you, as long as it’s an even contest (or maybe one or two more things in the pro column), you can find someone. You’re almost 40? So what!

You don’t think there is a white guy that is 40 years old that would like to meet, and then date, a wonderful, attractive sister? I can assure you, there are plenty.

Look at the drawbacks I’m working with here! Just my age and the fact that I have a large, unhappy-looking black teenage son in the house should be enough to send most white guys running for the hills.

But I found someone, someone I love very much and someone who loves me very much. He’s a huge white guy, a gentle giant that has a heart of gold. And, btw, the kid is starting to come around to him.

He’s told me that he wishes he had met me in his twenties because he’s never been so happy, and I feel the same exact way, but sometimes happiness doesn’t run on the schedule you prefer.

Sorry this has rambled on so long, but I guess my message to PhillyGirl is, whatever list of pluses and minuses you have for yourself, don’t write off your chances of finding love (and marriage, if you want it) with a WM. It can happen.

I couldn’t have said it better. {Virtual hugs for everyone!}

Happy white man hunting, ladies! Make me proud.

Share

Mocking Star Trek: Imagining "Women" in Charge

The original Star Trek gang. Uhura is enough. No other “women” are needed.


Please note:
I wrote this to express my irritation with feminists, sci-fi fans, trekkies / trekkers who pretend to be pro-woman. Let’s be frank, for some of them it’s all white women, all the time. I’m for female empowerment, but not at the expense of black women, reality, a coherent plot, or the story’s canon.

There have been plenty of movies without women (note plural) in the lead, like Star Wars, or even in the movie, and there was nary a ruckus, or peep, for more of them to be included.

Star Trek was a fantastic film, as is. I hope it stays that way. ‘Cause I refuse to see any more films without a black woman in the lead, or when she is included has to be shown with respect and as a normal personal.


Star Trek was an excellent movie. Saw it three times. Might see it a fourth time. Will definitely buy the DVD when it comes out.

I’ve been reading some of the commentary and fan fiction regarding this reboot of Star Trek.

I’m amused by the request for more women in the lead. Oh, but which type of women?

So, Uhura wasn’t enough for these folks. Was it because she wasn’t a woman of the right hue?

I see through these people who are pretending to be nick picky with the movie. The film was re-introducing us to the same characters from the original television program, which was seven people at its core.

Oh, but room must be made for more women characters. If Uhura was a white chick with blond hair, like on every other bloody damn movie and television show, there wouldn’t be that kind of whining demand coming down the pike.

These folks ain’t nothing, but a bunch of greedy, narcissistic, and selfish wenches.

I’ve decided to outline my own version of this new Star Trek if it was written by, and for, the few people who appreciate and love Battlestar Galactica. That show’s two hour pilot and first season was marvelous, then over the following years the quality, intelligence, and coherence rapidly goes down hill. Sorta like how Heroes, and Lost, suffered the same fate.

The following is a sarcastic fan fiction summary of what would have made those “oh, but more (white) women, please” whiners happy. Regardless of Star Trek canon, we must satisfy the demands for (white) women being stars of this story.

In case you haven’t noticed, white women, especially anorexic blonds, are a necessary evil in every entertainment program today. Even though their last minute additions, or central characters, have no additional net positive effect on ratings.

Oh well, somebody’s gotta promote that white supremacy.

The perfectly amazing woman of Star Trek: Jaime Tiberius Kirk.

You must be familiar with the recent movie Star Trek, and tv show BSG, to get some of my points.

  1. When Nero encounters the USS Kelvin, Captain Robau is a woman. She would be brown-haired and white, not a very handsome and gorgeous Eastern brown-skinned actor.
  2. If she was an alien like those in Star Trek: TNG, then she would be a (white) actress with a heavy ridged forehead and some tattoos.
  3. Nero, the Romulan, doesn’t kill her, he keeps her hostage. I’ll state why later.
  4. George Kirk doesn’t get the glory in this re-write by those who require more (white) women characters. Nope. He’s not even first officer. His pregnant wife, Winona, is. However, she makes George take her place on the suicide mission. This is to ensure that she receives all of the accolades for saving those 800 people, not George.
  5. James Kirk is a woman in this reboot. He’s been renamed Jaime, but still keeps Tiberius (as a middle name) to help keep it real. He, I mean she, would look the same, be much thinner, have a five o’clock shadow, square jaw, and be as obnoxious and promiscuous – which is a very important characteristic for a (white) woman leading character – as the original Kirk.
  6. Yet, in this case, Jaime would be considered “hot”, “kick-ass”, a “blond beauty” for her masculine, aggressive, and manly ways. Jaime would have breasts (maybe). We’d know Jaime is a woman, because the crew would periodically refer to this character as “she.” Oh, and by the way, everyone wants to do her, because Jaime has blue eyes and blond hair. That’s always, always, always the case, and don’t you fer-git-it! Why, even Uhura came onto her at that bar in Iowa!
  7. Spock never re-assigns Uhura to the USS Enterprise. She would never be seen again since she’d disappear with the rest of the fleet that left before the Enterprise. He has no reaction to news of her death, thus making those greedy, narcissistic, and selfish wenches happy.
  8. Instead, Gaila, the “green” chick, would be on the Enterprise. Ergo, she’d be the second hottest (white) woman on the ship after Jaime.
  9. Tyler Perry makes his cameo dressed as Madea. This is the preferable way for a black woman to appear in the media, with a 6’4″ black male ridiculously “acting” as one.
  10. Sulu and Chekhov would be an openly gay couple, or Chekhov would be another (white) woman. Take your pick.
  11. Spock obviously has the hots for Jaime, because they argue throughout the whole movie.
  12. Nero still vaporizes Vulcan, but it is Spock’s father, Sarek, who dies. His mother, Amanda, lives. Although he loses a planet of his people, he’s not as upset as he is in the reboot movie version. Spock’s mother is alive, therefore keeping another important (white) woman in the story.
  13. Pike stays a man. Gotta have at least one dick in the lead. Unfortunately, he’s held, Federation Security information is extracted, and he is promptly, grotesquely, and rather violently dispatched.
  14. Spock and Jaime fight. Unsurprisely, the big bitch fights the Vulcan to a draw. It’s possible, right? Haven’t we seen enough BullShitGalore, and other entertainment, to know a female can beat a male even if he’s a super-strong alien?
  15. Nothing much changes in these scenes: Prime Spock meets Jaime Kirk. He says, “We were more than friends,” and brain dumps their entire special, special history into Jaime’s big ol’ empty head, not just the time travel, black hole stuff. This also makes the mentally challenged shippers of Kirk/Spock very happy.
  16. Entering the final stretch: Jaime Kirk and Spock are getting set to leave and save everyone. Yet, not before Jaime looks at Spock and says, “I know how you really feel about me.” Cause everybody wants Jaime: Ms Blond Blue Eyed Super-thin Mannish Five-O’clock Shadow Square Jaw Hyper-Aggressive Can-Keep-Up-With-The-Boys Woman. She’s just soooooooooooooo hot, and sexy.
  17. Quickly, Spock and Jaime exchange open mouth slobbering wet drooly kisses, panting, groping, exchanging much spit, before they are transported to the Romulan ship.
  18. They find out Pike is dead, and scrape up the pieces to bring back the body.
  19. As an added bonus they find Captain Robau, who’s pregnant with her umpteenth child.
  20. Why is she pregnant? Following commonly used, absolutely stupid, and retarded sci-fi tropes, the Romulans decide they want / need / desire / lust / crave Earth (white) women to re-start their race. Although, in this case, it is not necessary, Romulus still exists. However, even though they may view humans as inferior, just one look at a (white) woman turns their pointy-eared heads. Remember, Romulans are the extremely passionate Vulcan-types.
  21. The Enterprise beams all those half-Romulan / half-Human chil’ren on board. A hysterical Captain Robau, with her many chil’ren – some of who are adults and staffed the Romulan ship, watches as her man Nero gets sucked into a black hole, and blown to hell.
  22. Quietly, she vows revenge on Jaime Kirk, providing the flimsy pretext for a sequel.
  23. The film bombs at the theaters, but the die-hards tell themselves that no one appreciates quality (ha!) sci-fi movies.

See, how easy and predictable that was? The fans of Battlestar Galactica (BullShitGalore) should ask for a movie of their show, and forget about asking Star Trek to be redefined, re-cast, and re-imaged to suit their bizarre requests and tastes.

Frankly, if Star Trek‘s producers sees fit to add another woman to the lead cast, make her a very dark-skinned Asian.

I’d like to see how those “add more women” wenches behave then.


This is a link the best fan fiction story I’ve recently discovered. It continues an interesting storyline regarding characters, Uhura and Spock primarily, from the Star Trek 2009 movie. I wouldn’t want it included in the sequel movie, but as a quasi-stand alone work of art, fan fiction, or sci-fi story, it is very, very good.

Share