Open Forum: What’s On Your Mind? Talking About Self-Control and Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. May our troops, veterans and allies stay safe.

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Time Travel(s)

I’m in the middle of a long, lovely, idyllic and idle weekend. Rather cold, but I like it like that. I remember a couple of summers a few years back that were rather chilly. Time is going by much too quickly, as usual. When we work, the week drags. When we have days off, they simply fly by. And I cannot believe it is half-way, mid-way through the year.

So, I’ve been asking myself lately:

  • What have I been doing?
  • Is it moving me forward?
  • Have I advanced in any way?
  • Have I (re)moved any major milestones?

I verbally spank myself a great deal. I try not to be annoyed with myself so much. To me, the perfect state of being is literally a blank mind. I wont be able to sleep if I cannot do that. I wont be able to drive. I wont be able to function. I often dwell and think too much about really really unimportant things I have absolutely no control over, because I do not want to focus on the big things that I must do.

Getting It Done

My approach for dealing with life is usually two track: 1) Little bites, 2) Big major moves.

It’s surprising to me, although it shouldn’t, how often I stay on the same track. It’s good when it is applied to stubbornly working to accomplish a difficult long term task, yet deadly when it’s used for avoidance and getting stuck in a rut.

Does that make sense? I know I’m beating dead horses in my life. I recognize it. Yet, I wont stop it. I discover notes, diaries and checklists from years ago. Same stuff, different day. Nothing seems to be changing.

Do you know how aggravating that is?

One of the things I’m always looking at is, How do I move forward? My personality, which I’ve been trying to change, or adjust for these situations, and for such a long time, I consider to be one of my greatest impediments. It is great for somethings. I am a Pitt Bull where it counts.

And I don’t ask for much. My list is quite short. However, it requires multiple steps to get there.

Lost in Lack of Self-Control

On some level, I think I can understand why people get up and run away, take too many prescription drugs, drink, get high all the time, work excessively long hours, push themselves too hard, are addicted to pain, pleasure and dangerous (sometimes criminal) activities. It’s about the distraction. It’s about getting the mind off that groove.

Unfortunately, it’s replacing one deep ditch for another. And one could get lost in the self for many years, forgetting what one wanted in the first place.

There’s this perfect limbo between absolute killing boredom and excitement so keen you could die of bliss. One cannot always chase the bliss … it can be destructive. But when you have to keep a certain state of equanimity day after day, month after month, because that is life… Oh goodness, life is extremely tedious.

I think it is a fine recipe for going bonkers.

So, what to do?

***

Everyone can talk about what’s on their minds. I’m just doing a little mental purging. 😀

 

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Rape of Young Black Girls: Do We Ever Learn Anything From These Stories?

I would like to know. Frankly, I’m sick of knowing about these stories.* The reason is my feelings about what should happen to the perpetrators would fall under extreme cruel and unusual punishment. I’m all for sterilization, hangings, the electric chair, and putting the criminals to sleep like any animal that needs to be put down.

I would even air drop them down into war torn countries around the world, or have them put in those jails to rot away to get a taste of what real deprivation is like. They don’t deserve to be treated with any consideration of “human rights” – they lost that privilege when they committed a violent crime against a child.

However, due to the politically correct, idiot intelligentsia that never thinks of the victims or their families, along with their desire to show how morally superior they are, the punishment will never fit the crime. The sentencing will be delicate, plea bargained to a “lesser crime”, and the years doled out modest (always less than the actual sentencing).

The Details and Excuses Don’t Matter

As for the crime: I don’t care to know the minute details, the back stories, where it happened, why it happened, how many were involved or whether the victim was familiar with her attackers. The reality is young black girls are nearly always attacked, raped, brutalized by people familiar, or known, to them.

What I know of this case, like so many others, is someone’s baby girl was viciously and brutally attacked, and there are people (I use that term loosely) regarding this incident with an indifferent shrug. Or they’re more concerned about the well being or public regard towards the attackers. That’s how deep into hell certain “communities” have fallen.

There is no morality left.

There are folks who will expend more time worrying about the treatment of the perpetrators due to their race, their gender, whether they came from “broken homes”, and how the incident will reflect on the “community”. They will fling the usual monkey poo buffalo chips about racism (you know, the white man made them do it), poverty (jobs would have stopped them from being brutal rapists!), the girl at fault for being too fast, too sexy at 11 (she made them do it!), and the usual rabble about fair trials (’cause the “brothas” never get a break!).

It’s almost guaranteed we will hear that a majority of the attackers are “mentally handicapped” and have IQs of around 85 or room temperature. They couldn’t stop, because they were just playing follow the leader.

Despite the harshness of my crime and punishment stance, I believe every defendant is entitled to the benefit of doubt and the presumption of innocent. And if, or when, they are found guilty: hang ’em high.

Keep This in Mind: The Hell Pits Are Here to Stay

I’m sick of these horror stories, because I know within a few days there will be another, followed by another, and then another. It never stops.

I know it is hard for a mother (and father) to be around to protect their daughters. She has to work. Perhaps she has to take time to attend school on nights or weekends. Momma might even think a family member or friend is looking after her little girl, or assumes her daughter is safe among her own “friends.”

Black Women: You Have a Choice

Common sense should never be up for debate. Yet, there are people who just love, love, love to argue and drop major B.S. playing with the idea as to whether black women have the right to move away from the “community.” There is a mindset that all black women are community property. The black woman is the resource everyone in the “community” needs to help keep it going. There are always layers of excuses as to why she should continue to live in hell, in approximation to hell, or in this place that’s transitioning to hell, by helping to “fix up” what’s wrong.

In case anyone didn’t know: that is a black man’s job. If he and his boys ain’t willing: it is not her problem. Black women aren’t obligated to live in neighborhoods infested with criminals, because the residents sorta look like them or share cultural baggage. Marches, slogans, t-shirts, and pity parades for mercy wont change a damn thing.

‘Cause she cannot run away from her people. Right? I mean, really? Well, most of her peeps might be plotting to rape, rob, and possibly kill her. She has every right to run. And run now.

The only thing that matters is quality of life. It doesn’t include cowering in fear – or fronting like she’s fearless – from people that share a similar hue or phenotype while pretending there is a meaningful connection due to those factors.

With incidents like this, is it really worth it to stay?

I hope every mother (and father) who cares about their young black daughter(s) think about where they live, check the crime stats for the new neighborhood, and make that move. There are still cheaper, lower to low crime areas to live. America is a very, very, very big country. Hoodlums are not hanging out on every street corner.

There are safer places to reside.

Dear Mommas

Be vigilant. Be proactive. Please think about changing your life, make a move, because the one you save may be your own or that of your child.

*Note: the following are links to these types of stories. Thanks for the hat tips, Bellydancer.

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