Seasonal Misery
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Phew! Now I love this time of year and season. I
enjoy the cold. There's something refreshing about a
tear-making icy stiff breeze of wind. I even love to shovel the driveway when it's knee high deep with wet snow. (Wet snow is so much heavier than dry.) It's interesting to wait for Spring to come around and see how many people gave themselves heart attacks and strokes from shoveling snow.
Ah winter.
This season also brings the usual maladies: overeating, over drinking, depression, loneliness, arthritic maladies, and the flu. There are plenty more.
It's easy to have an emotional hangover around this time of year. I think it starts around Labor Day, gathers momentum around
Thanksgiving before hitting the wall on
New Year's Eve.
See, for a number of people, Thanksgiving can be one of the
loneliest holiday of all. Why? It's about family and friends coming together. Well, imagine if you are part of the growing number of Americans without friends, family, spouse or even a supportive network.
The following I borrowed from USA TODAY:
25% of Americans have no one to confide in.
The Review General Social Survey by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago surveyed 1,531 people in 1985 and 1,467 in 2004.
In 1985, the average American had three people in whom to confide matters that were important to them. In 2004, that number dropped to two, and one in four had no close confidants at all.
The percentage of people who confide only in family increased from 57% to 80%, and the number who depend totally on a spouse is up from 5% to 9%, the study found.
The chief suspects: More people live in the suburbs and spend more time at work, Putnam says, leaving less time to socialize or join groups.
I think it is more than that. Socializing
is an art. Getting along with others is an acquired skill. Being a host/hostess is something that people no longer bother doing.
Relationships - of all kinds - takes work. The media, which serves as public educator, has the unfortunate habit of only describing how to network. You learn how to network to
use people, but not how to maintain good relationships with people. We are a user-centric society, no longer a good-friend society.
When I was growing up, there was no lack of parties, weddings, social events that I was invited to and went to (chaperoned of course). I have a very large family.
Now, I'm not someone whose phone rings off the hook, but I take it for granted that I always can find someone to connect with and talk to -
if I wanted. I'm not the extroverted type, I suppose if I was my phone would be ringing off the hook.
Well, it does, but I don't answer it.
I write this, because I received a call from a friend and I realized that this time of year, in this country, can be hard on an immigrant (or American) who doesn't have a well-connected, satisfying and emotionally balanced life. I don't have any remedies, but I am thinking of those people - of you - who feel a bit down.
But like my Mom once said, "Some people are miserable all year, but at this time of year they are even more miserable."
Labels: holidays, loneliness, SADD, seasonal depression
posted by GoldenAh
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July 4th and the Family Visits
Saturday, June 30, 2007
I have two older brothers. I am the
only girl and last child. I'm
not a brat, but I've done what I wanted for as long as I can recall. Doesn't mean I wasn't punished when I was
bad.
Both brothers live in southern states, so when they visit it's a long trip to get up here. They pull in 12-15 hours of driving.
Holidays like July 4th, December 25th and New Year's Eve are days I
dislike the most. Why? Expectations don't mesh with reality.
I believe the
media has us
trained with an expectation to experience certain emotions during these days, and if it
doesn't happen - then one is not
normal. Or you are missing out on the
greatest feelings and events that
should be happening in your life. Oh happy happy joy joy!
Hey, that probably explains the
high rates of suicides during the Holidays. There is a social pressure of making folks feel left out of the "fun" and it
is cruel. Not everyone has a
large family, a lot of friends or even
any friends.
And before the over-commercialized unnatural
consumeristic lifestyles got ahold of people, these events were enjoyed without such
religiosity. (Sorry, it was the only word that came to mind.)
If you are a
misanthropic curmudgeon such as myself Holidays aren't a joy to behold. Family reunions don't excite. And being without company is a joy to behold.
Don't get me wrong, I
adore my family. I just like seeing them outside of the socially dictated calendar events. I see 'em when I see 'em, I don't need artificial exuberance to enjoy their company.
Enjoy America's birthday.
Labels: brothers, family, holidays
posted by GoldenAh
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