Is Makeup Necessary to Feel Beautiful?

Makeup was fun to play with as a child.

When I was a little girl I loved to play with my Mom’s makeup. Um, not to wear though, I used to think I was a scientist making special formulas.

I’d mix concoctions of skin cleansers, foundation, perfume – you name it – together. Freeze it. Reheat it. Stir other stuff in it, just to see how it’d react. I used to hope for a dramatic reaction – smoke, a muffled explosion – but nothing like that ever happened. All it did was kill ants and cockroaches; something Combat and Raid didn’t do instantly.

Other times, I’d wear enough makeup to make Ronald McDonald envious. Face done like a clown, I’d stick my head out the window for the neighbors to see.

Makeup for beautification? Nope.

I became serious about using foundation, when I could get it for free. I used it for hiding blemishes; making my complexion look even. However, I became iffy about this stuff when it started to dry my skin out, and cause wrinkles. To remove the wrinkles, I had to vigorously scrub my skin clean.

Foundation, from some companies, even contained skin lighteners. Hey, if I want skin lighteners, I’d buy them. I don’t like makeup being so multipurpose. What next, botox in this stuff?

After a while, I felt foundation made my face wrinkly, dusty, and dirty just to appear “presentable.” If I’m going out, to a nightclub, or date, I might put on some eyeshadow, but no eyeliner, no eyebrow pencil, but nothing else.

At most today, I wear expensive, long lasting lipstick.

I have such oily skin, that foundation, or other kinds of makeup, is a lost cause. If I wore eyeliner, I’d look like a raccoon by the end of the day. I cannot keep my hands away from my face and eyes. I’m always rubbing them. I don’t like having to constantly reapply makeup, since it starts to cake after two hours.

Overall, I consider it a waste of time and money. More power to those who love this stuff. I’ve always felt awkward with makeup (purchased dirt) on my face, like I’ve never applied it correctly.

Anyway, I feel beautiful enough without it.


Fantasia IC Hair Polisher Styling Gel

I don’t hype products; that’s not the purpose of this blog. However, I am a happy woman when I find something that works. And Fantasia IC Hair Polisher Styling Gel works!

My hair is kinky, not in the least curly. Outside of an old school jherri curl, I didn’t think I could have any.

Well, this product helps my 4a-z hair show some curl! Small waves and itty bitty curls! I am astounded. I get a curl when I put a deep conditioner in my hair. This stuff does it without a strong scent, stickiness, and it doesn’t dry hard or crispy.


How I apply: after I wash my hair. While it is still damp, I take a section – like for a medium-sized plait about an inch or more – and work in the product from root to tip. The hair gets wavy / curly. To keep the style and my hair moist, I wear a perforated shower cap. I also re-wet my hair and re-apply product. I wash out the product by day three. Too much build-up is no good.

By far, the easiest hairstyle of all: loose, lovely and low-maintenance. It’s almost completely wash and go.


Shyness and Social Avoidance

I tend to make plans for the weekend, starting with Friday. The list of events are interesting, sometimes free, and throughout the multi-state area I live in: Philly, Eastern Penn., NYC, and all of New Jersey.

I make the usual promises to myself: I’m going somewhere! I will have fun!

What do I end up doing? Stay locked indoors. Nearly every chance I have to relax, enjoy myself, and hang out – I don’t. For years, I’ve been trying to break this awful, self-defeating habit.

Ain’t that a shame? Oh, I’ll go out. My long walks. Or drive to the store, pick up some items, and run right back home. As for my good evening plans: forget-about-it.

New Faces in Strange Places

Last year for Halloween I managed to go out. Sans a real costume. My invisible costume was bravery for going solo. The odd thing was that the host thanked me so often for coming to that event, I began to wonder what was wrong. People were saying they gave me credit for coming out.

I guess they saw my costume after all! Nevertheless, I had a great time.


Back in the day, I used to party nearly every weekend running from Thursday to Saturday. I didn’t know what to do with myself.
Experience has taught me that hanging out too much, too often, makes me bored, and irritable.

Yet, I’m also very intimidated by new faces in new places. I don’t have a close-knit coterie of (women) friends. I meet with them on occasion, but we all live a good distance from each other and make plans, but it’s infrequent.

Yet, I must do something! Anything! I need to have something interesting to do. I have to work at it.