Do I Want To Talk About

I suppose my hiatus is over. It’s hard to blog sometimes. Events happen quickly. And by time I think to write about it – I’m not feeling it anymore.

Do I want to talk about Floridian Cannibals? No thanks. Makes me lose my appetite.

Do I want to talk about the NBA playoffs? I only want the Miami Heat to lose. Otherwise, I’m not interested.

Do I want to talk about the President? I would, I could, but we’ll see after November 2012. I usually get asked by a relative, “Is he really such an idiot?” I’ve been reluctant to answer, but lately … I’m hard pressed, you know? If you are a fan of the President, don’t be offended. It’s just that if he was working at a private corporation, he’d have been fired by now. You try saying it’s the last guy / gal who held your title / position is the reason for your sub-par performance.

Yeah, that’ll work.

Do I want to talk about EU and the imploding Greek, Spanish, and Italian economies? Nope. Really don’t care. I suspect if the President was a Republican they could comfortably blame America for their wonderful mess, but they can’t say jack. I hope they aren’t hoping for any bailouts from the USA,  ’cause we’s broke, ya’ll.

Do I want to talk about our wonderful, thriving economy? Nope. ‘Cause the President says, “The private sector is doing fine.” Still smoking that stuff, sir? #doingfine #Choom

Do I want to talk about black men who are face chewing, stalking, cheating, murderous, promiscuous, insane, damaged beyond repair nutjobs? Not for a very very very long time. I think I’ve OD on the subject. What more is there to say? Stay the hell away from ’em. If you can, leave Blackistan. Nuff said.

Do I want to talk about travel? I’ve got Singapore on the brain. So far away. Lovely steady temperature. And expensive as all out. I’m due for a treat. Aiming for next year. If I go, it’ll be the first flight since the airports put in the Rape-I-Scanners. #fingerscrossed

Do I want to talk about dating and mating with non-black men? It’s academic, natural and simple. If you are a heterosexual woman, there are attractive men out there you can bond with regardless of hue. Wanting and needing is normal and acceptable: You want a man. You need a man. There’s no shame in that desire. Just relax. Go easy on yourself. And keep looking.

Do I want to talk about obesity? Naw, why should I? Aren’t fat black women helpless bullied victims?  It is obviously everybody’s fault some of them are such a hot mess. Shoot. Where I work there is this obese, short, extremely unattractive black woman – her stomach rests on the chair seat – she needs to lean back to stand – she cannot see her feet if she looked down – she waddles in a circle when she walks – she’s a malodorous cloud of sweat, stink perfume and sulfur – she’s always bringing in fattening foods to offer to others (and she’s always on a diet) – she offers advice no one wants to hear – she’s the office “Mammy”.

And I live rent free in her little head.

Guess whose BODY she studies? Guess whose HEALTH she wants to fret about? Guess whose CLOTHING she’s obsessed with? Guess whose phone calls she listens in on? Guess who she wont leave the goddamn hell alone – day in and day out? I don’t talk to this person. I don’t acknowledge her. I’ve never mentioned anything about her looks, but people like her – it has to be she’s been dropped on her shrunken head one time too many as a child. I also get my share of nasty lip curls and looks of hatred from two other obese black women at work, but hey, it must be because I’m the reason they cannot put their forks down. Must be my fault. What do I get from everybody else who’s short, tall, dark, light or small? Normalcy. We say, “Hello”, and keep it moving.

It’s not the first time I’ve encountered this kind of crazy from these poor, innocent, polite, delicate, sweet-natured big boned girls. I don’t usually mention it, because I often put it out of mind. And I’m not even close to slender, I consider myself medium-size. (I used to be heavier. I know what it’s like.)

But black women, some of you really, really need therapy. You require years of counseling. Do not be ashamed of seeking professional help with your issues.

‘Cause I’m gonna tell you right now, other black women – who are minding their own damn business, working to stay healthy, and living their life – aren’t in your way. And no amount of hectoring, harassing, bitching, critiquing or beseeching is gonna turn us into the office “Beulah” laboring beside you.

So, you go on ahead, continue to commit suicide by fork. ‘Cause you are on that plantation all by your lonesome.

Do I want to talk about Scandal? Really enjoyed the show. It’s meant to be funny, right? ‘Cause I couldn’t stop laughing. Best new comedy on TV.

Do I want to talk about the movies? Nope. Haven’t seen any of those “blockbusters”. Nothing interests me. Not even Prometheus. Only because anything to do with Alien(s) gives me nightmares. Yeah, I’m a big child.

Do I want to talk about anything else? Perhaps. We’ll see. I promise myself I’d blog more. We’ll see.

Hope everyone is doing fine and fulfilling their dreams. 🙂


48 thoughts on “Do I Want To Talk About”

  1. It’s a shame that people can’t just leave you alone at work. Where I used to work, we were always engaging each other, it was great. Now I work with someone who’s quiet. I had to learn that being quiet is just her nature, nothing wrong with it. It’s fine to be quiet, it’s fine to want to talk, but people have to learn to respect each others boundaries.

    If some heavy person was trying to shove food down my throat, I’d get pretty angry as well. I had enough of that growing up, by my relatives who all thought I was too skinny. I’m no longer skinny, but it doesn’t mean I want to be obese either.

    I saw both “Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” movies and I liked the US version better, but it’s good to see both.

    I like how you talk about dating non black men. I was like, “you mean black women STILL have issues with that?” I’ve been dating non black men since the early 80’s. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, depends on the man.

    I don’t watch most network TV, I opt for cable, documentary style “reality” shows like “Deadliest Catch” and “Ice Road Truckers.” Sure they have their fake moments, but they’re both better than anything the network puts out.

    As far as Obama is concerned, he may not be perfect, but I can’t vote for a guy who has a name I’d give a cat.

    GoldenAh: I’m actually fine chatting and joking with people. I’ll talk with everyone. I think like most quiet people, we’re not even aware of our silence. I’m thinking of so many different things, I’m deep in my own mind. Introverts are always thinking about stuff, but keeping it to ourselves. One of my good friends is even more quiet than I am. I seem like the blabbermouth when I’m hanging out with her.

    Another friend of mine got harassed by people when she got down to a smaller size. It was where she used to be, but the people around her were all big…. So she ended up big again.

    There’s just something so different, interesting, stimulating – and dare I say erotic – about dating non-black men. Even the non-black male jerks are fascinating. 😀

    I see the verdict for GWTDT is all thumbs up. Must see then.

    I live in a state that’s most likely going to Obama, but I hope we can get rid of the Senators.

    Thank you so much for your comments, Eva.

  2. Well, Betty,

    I’m glad to hear you don’t want to be a fatso! 🙂 Thanks for posting again. The way you phrase things always makes me laugh and puts a smile on my face. I watched the original version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo two or so years ago. I personally enjoyed it. There are at least two more films in the series. I want to watch them as well but find it difficult to watch tv in any form when I’m in academic/work mode. I wish I were less addicted to the internet.

    It’s nice to hear from you again!

    GoldenAh: I’ve been big and small. My knees thank me for lightening the load. 😀

    I’m always happy to hear that I can make you ladies smile and laugh.

    Thanks for that comment, Formavitae. It’s greatly appreciated.

  3. Hey Faith: Salmon Fishing In The Yemen was kind of dry and drawn out but I am an Ewan Mcgregor fan so I wanted to see it. Ewan is kind of hit or miss lately with his films. Although I did like him in The Ghost Writer and I Love You Phillip Morris.

    Golden: Is this crazy woman older than you? It sounds like she is trying to call herself trying to give you advice which you don’t need as far as her food is concerned yeah I would be leery of eating it even if it was healthy food. Geesh this chick sounds crazy I would keep documenting stuff and try not to lose your job over this silly heffa.

    GoldenAh: She’s much older, but not elderly. No worries about the job, though. I got her on full NigNore. She’s just a nuisance to herself.

    Thanks for your concern, Bellydancer. 🙂

  4. HELLO!!!! Write when you want, we’ll still be here.

    @Bellydancer – How was Salmon Fishing In The Yemen? I want to see it.

    Add Portugal to the failed experiment called the Euro…but the currency is still worth more than the US Dollar!

    GoldenAh: Thank you, Faith. I always hope to write with humor and be engaging on some level. 🙂

    A friend of mine went to Portugal about a year ago, she said it’s a beautiful country and a really lovely place to visit. My brother was talking about going to Spain. I hope he’s careful. I went to Barcelona during the boom years, and it was still sorta rough in some places.

    The Euro is so convenient. It was a good idea, but I’m lost as to why there’s a crisis. Quite a few countries use the US dollar as their currency, or alongside, and it’s not a problem. Oh well.

    Great to hear from you. Thanks for the links to my site. 🙂

  5. RE: Obama

    One small issue – He’s NOT working at a private corporation. If he was, he’d be CEO, and he wouldn’t need to get his initiatives passed by a body of childish, obstructionist legislators.

    That said, he knew what he was signing up for. He knew he would be attacked for things that are his fault and thing that aren’t. He is playing the game. Blaming it on the last guy is not really whining – It’s a political tactic. And actually, it works sometimes.

    GoldenAh: Meh. He’s been doing whatever he wants. A kill list with US Citizens. Chatty self-congratulatory staff only too happy to leak national security information. Constantly whining about how nothing is ever his fault. Congress passed his stimulus plans. He makes recess appointments even when Congress is not in recess. We’ve got more debt than all the past administrations combined, or is that running deficits each month into amounts never reached before? Hard to recall it’s so brutal. He just about killed off NASA. Americans lost 40% of their wealth during his term. Millions of people cannot find work or have given up. He closed down the Keystone Pipeline. He wanted more expensive energy. How much is gas now? I think he said that $8.00 gas is necessary or something similarly stupid to that affect. He swore he’d close down Coal Plants. Wants to drive ’em out of business. And lately, this great gem: “The private sector is doing fine.” Alrighty then.

    Sounds like everything is working according to his plans.

    By the way, Congress is a CO-EQUAL branch of government as is the Supreme Court. None of those governmental bodies have to abide by the President’s demands. He is NOT an Emperor, King, or Sun God. He has to be a persuasive leader. His JOB is to WORK with Congress. Even Bill Clinton managed to work with a much much more recalcitrant, belligerent and hostile Congress. And boy, do I miss the economy of those days!!!

    Also, CEOs have to be persuasive, engaging, strongly communicative leaders with working plans for the future of the company, otherwise they are quickly tossed out for poor performance. The Board of Directors hires the CEO – they giveth and they taketh away. So, no one gets an easy ride anywhere.

    Thanks for your comments, Jonathan.

  6. I guess recruit her to be a fellow fat-ass?

    I am doing very well, thanks for asking. And dead at swolen mouth.

    Jealousy amongst Black women really needs to stop. Its like im so sick of it. I say just fine a few who are cool and like minded and keep the rest until proven at arms length.

    And then sometimes someone ice grilling you really likes something about you. That has happened to me, I was in the hair salon and this lady kept staring at me, im like jeez, take a picture lady. Turns out she thought my hair was beautiful. So sometimes you never know why someone is staring.

    GoldenAh: You got it, Mikey. She believes she’s a “leader” and I’m supposed to follow. She better not hold her breath. I never yield.

    And your comment is on point: I’ll wait and watch for as long as it takes. I’m a patient observer. I’ve gathered enough evidence and my verdict about her has been made. She’s wasting her time thinking I’m going to relent. I’m done.

  7. What the hell is she trying to recruit you to do? Please explain WTH is going on at work?

    GoldenAh: Mikey – in the next comment – said it right, “To be a fellow fat-ass.” I just want her to leave me alone. I don’t want her food. I don’t want her unsolicited “advice”. I don’t want to know her. I don’t want her company. I’m a quiet, easy going person, but people like her mistaken that for being a pushover. She’s messing with the wrong chick. Although I look younger than I am, I’m not a simple child that needs some idiot to come and tell me how to live my life.

    And I’ve had to be incredibly rude to get her to ease up. Normal people know to back off, but there’s something seriously wrong with this one. I mean, I walk past her without saying, “Hi” or “Bye”. I don’t even look at her. I don’t acknowledge her. I walk away if she tries to talk to me. So she’s figured out how to pretend it’s work related, but now I diss her over that as well. Our work doesn’t require ANY interaction. Nothing we do affects one another. I wont even get into how she’s tried to blame me and another person for her lack of getting work done.

    Hey, but think my stone cold dismissal of this person keeps her away? She continues to think up some excuse to bring her repulsive face and body INTO my cubicle. Not even the worst black male pests, at other jobs, have been this ridiculous. I’d offer more examples, but my blood pressure is starting to rise. 😀

    I just wanna do my work and go home. She’s living in her own world. I don’t want to be a part of it.

    Sorry for the rant.

  8. Welcome back, BC! Your commentary is so refreshing. Picked my spirits right up! Say your words as well as you always do. 😀

    GoldenAh: Thank you, QueenOfThePen. I appreciate the feedback. I’m like, “You know, I’m trying to have a life here. Go stress somebody else with your issues.” 😀

  9. Hey girlie those chicks at work sound cray cray (lol).
    I have been seeing a lot of indie movies this year. I have seen in the past couple of months the following movies.

    Bel Ami
    Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
    Salmon Fishing In The Yemen
    Jeff Who Lives At Home
    Win Win
    Thin Ice

    …… many others I have been on a Indie movie kick lately and they are kicking these blockbuster movies in the ass.

    GoldenAh: I still want to see the original foreign movie version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I meant to see it in the theaters.

    I’ve been hooked on watching Korean Dramas. Every time I think I’m gonna stop, they get a new batch of shows. My online crack; the stuff keeps getting better. I wonder why there isn’t a cable network or two over here with quality minority programming.

    Anyway, I want to see the indie movies too. I have to get some time and find a way to watch them. ‘Cause I cannot take these “blockbusters” – same sh#t, different day.

    And you know, I don’t mind the haters who give me the evil eye / stank face. LOL. At least they leave me alone. I smile at them. It’s the nut who acts like a cult member recruiter that works my last nerve. I’m never gonna join: she can forget about it. 😀

    Thanks for the movie list, Bellydancer. Great to hear from you!

  10. Welcome Back! Was wondering when you were gonna come back and bust us down with the realness.

    You mean you dont wanna talk about Creflo “Beat ya Till Ya Hollar” Dollar? Im kidding cause im sick of that too.

    Im with ya on the living ya life tip.

    GoldenAh: Hey Mikey, how’s it going?

    What a bizarre moniker. Creflo Dollar sounds like the name of a dirty south rapper: all I can picture is a swollen mouth with teeth crusted in gold and diamonds.

    It’s hard to keep up with the news today, so many strange events. Feels like a #zombieapocalypse is coming. 😀

Comments are closed.