For Black Women: When White Men Are Buddies With a “Brotha”

When a white man is buddies with a “brotha”, I know I don’t want him. The white guy doesn’t have to “hate” black men, but if he’s one of those white guys who feels like he needs to have street cred, or likes to call black men “brothas”, then I don’t wanna see ya. I want a guy who is “white.” He must be all the whiteness he can be: Abercrombie and Fitch, Brooks Brothers type of man, yo.

So if a white man is getting even within firing range of the toxic zone misogynistic mentality of some of these black male cretins, that tells me his mind is getting polluted with vicious anti-bw propaganda. And I’ve met my share who wanna be down with the homies.

Oh, hell no. Go away.


Well, looky-looky here. I want to bring your attention to this comment by Paul G. all excerpted from Clutch online. His comment is part of the article: The View From the Other Room: What White Men Think About Dating Black Women.

By the way, I rarely read their comments section, it’s always the same eight people.

Here’s what Paul G. said about black women (the brackets are my comments):

It’s not the media that scares me away from not wanting to date a black women, it’s black men that make me think differently.

[GoldenAh: Are you really this simpleminded?]

I say that to say this, and I’m only giving you my observation… I see a lot of black men running around with a white girl on their arm, which is fine, but when I’ve sat down with brothers and asked them why they don’t like dating black women, they always have something negative to say about you guys, whether it be your attitude, your jealousy, or the thought that you guys want to play the man of the house. I don’t need to watch to TV to see what I can see when I walk down the block. But I don’t have to buy into that either, which I don’t, but I am aware of what’s being said about yall by your own men.

[GoldenAh: They are not my men, or our men. And that, dear Sir, is the problem right there.]

It’s a shame to see that. – Paul G.

I don’t know the man. I’ve skimmed over the comments of all of the white guys whose comments make up part of the article. But this guy’s words hung around like an eye stinging fart in an elevator.

It just reads like, “Who you goin’ to believe? Me or your lying eyes?” (Richard Pryor).

Remember that song, “Don’t ask my neighbor, come to me”? Well, my advice is, if you want to know about black women: come talk to us. The “brothas” hate their own mothers and sisters, that should tell you everything what’s wrong with them.

A guy like Paul G. can continue to stay far far away from black women, because he values the words of anti-bw misogynists over valuing us as just women. The guy is a coward, plain and simple. He, too, is a sexist racist. That’s my take. He can dress it up in blaming how “da brothas” around him talk their crap, or whatever negativity he’s looking for in the media, but at the end of the day: he is taking heed.

If you wanted to know the kind of white guys to stay away from, Paul G. fits the profile.

I ain’t mad at the dude, he’s made me realize how poisonous and evil these negroes are.


72 thoughts on “For Black Women: When White Men Are Buddies With a “Brotha””


    I have never met or seen a real live BW or BM. In all my ancestry, my parents, during their trips to the U.S., were the only ones who ever met African Americans. I know this because I have Norman ancestry so the family history is recorded all the way back to William the Conqueror and beyond (Lo! the family tree prepared for those old kings went back to Adam and Eve and even God! Haaha! So what does that make me? – maybe an “OMG” would be appropriate here, or :()

    My great-granddad used to play big vinyl disks on a “radio gram”. I remember looking out of his window at the sea while we listened to Italian opera. The disk-covers showed people with weird hair (I’d never heard of a wig back then) and strange old-fashioned costumes. If any of those artists had been depicted with purple skin, it would not have seemed any more wonderful and magic than the rest of it.

    And then there were Marian Anderson and Paul Robeson. Wow. I can still picture the sea, and imagine those great voices rolling along.

    As a kid, I’d already seen plenty of African Americans in the media. There was a show called “Living Colour” which would make me roll around the floor in helpless laughter. Sometimes my mum, afraid that I’d choke, would switch off the TV. And now there’s rap etc etc. But to this day, none of the other African American stuff has made as much of an impression on me as those two wonderful black voices from the old vinyl disks. It was the impression on a young mind that made it so powerful.

    So my perspective on African American is quaint and unrealistic and naive.

    E.g. take this word “swagger”. I’ve come across it many times, and still don’t understand it. Googling it yields stuff like “walk or behave in a very confident and arrogant or self-important way”, which doesn’t help. Anyone can swagger, if that’s all it means. So what on earth is this “swagger” that applies exclusively to BM (and perhaps some BW too?)?

    I’ve asked the question before, and here are some of the replies:

    The origin of the expression, “swagger”, as it applies to BM, is:
    (1) The mainstream media, in a splurge of white self-consciousness.
    (2) The African American community.
    (3) Political correctness, to draw yet another comparison unfavourable to white men.

    And the nature of swagger is:
    (1) Nothing. I’ve received no replies worth remembering.

    Can Goldenah, or any other wise woman here, throw some light on the subject and lift me from my primeval gloom? Did Paul Robeson have swagger way back when, or is it a new thing?

  2. I agree with all of the comments on this. I will admit that the first time I read this, I was a bit taken aback. Surely I don’t like WM who are racist or bigoted in any sense…but then I thought about it some more. My husband is a nice person, friendly, but he doesn’t have any Black male friends. The only BM he comes into contact with are my stepfather (who is DBR in his own way but that’s another conversation) and sometimes a coworker I’ve never met.

    My husband has nothing against BM and he’s a cool guy in general, but you make some very valid points. Some WM and BM can be very good friends without a problem, but it’s the BM who try to fill a WM’s mind with poison we need to be careful of. I’m glad he isn’t around people who would try to do that.

    I know this might be slightly off-topic too, but it’s like the movie “Good Deeds” where Tyler Perry plays a BM who is the perfect gentleman but his brother is a DBR type who lashes out at all BW, including his own mother and a little girl. I know it’s a different dynamic but hopefully I’m making sense. I forget who that other actor is, but the part where he’s calling Thandie Newton a “b*tch” and yelling at her little girl that all BW have attitudes is all too familiar in my previous dealings with these damaged types.

    And yes, I completely agree with the ladies who say NO to a “wannabe black” WM. I’m sorry, but I can’t deal with that at all! There is nothing wrong with a white man who enjoys some aspects of Black culture…it shows that he is open-minded. But trying to be “down” and have “swagger” like he is the next Eminem or Lil Wayne or Young Jeezy or whatever? No, thanks, I’ll pass!

    I love my husband for who he is. If I still had an interest in BM, I would be with one. I’ve met very few BM who embody what I want in a man, unfortunately. So my husband is the one for me and he just so happens to be white. Above all, he is proof that masculinity and “real” manhood are about self-respect, respecting others, and cherishing your woman…not engaging in destructive behavior toward self and others.

    You know, Paul G. is only stating what he has been told by ignorant DBR losers…some people really don’t step outside the box and they believe what they’ve been told. So I don’t blame him but I would encourage him to challenge BM on these comments about BW and also to develop a mind of his own. Not every BW is what BM have made them out to be, Paul. Try to open your mind and see that you have preconceived notions about Black women, which isn’t helped by the type of Black men you associate with. BM are not the authority on Black women.

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