Goals Reset: Where Has the Time Gone? It’s May Already!!!!

Oh my goodness! This is crazy. I mean we are almost at the half point of this year already!

Where did the time go? I’m scared I will look around and it’ll be Christmas again.

Time for me to start my New Year’s Resolutions all over again.

Gym Rat / Weight Loss

I’ve been at the gym 5 days out of 7. My body can’t handle the daily grind as I initially thought, but at least the aches and pains are gone. Boy, do I love weight lifting. I do that every time I go, and I alternate the treadmill and bike riding. Based on my body type, which is Mesomorphic / Mesomorph. I’ve lost 10 lbs since April 1, not bad. Usually, I can only drop 2 lbs a month, but I think my updated routine has made it easier to lose.

Why Me, Lord?

Why does everything necessitate talking to people who don’t like me,  and I don’t like them? Seriously, I’m not talking blog land. I mean out in the “real world.” No one ever leaves intermediate or high school. It’s the same people over and over again.

Nice People

It’s interesting to hear about people you’ve met only once or twice inquiring after you. I don’t know, I always get a warm and fuzzy feeling from it. Well, I’m always asking after them. Good vibrations go both ways.

It’s Too Warm To Hide

It’s like when the personal trainer and I were talking and he asked, “So why now?” Dude! Because by June, you will have nowhere to hide. The clothes wont cover the butt or hips. Part of what makes me look really big is my chest. Some women don’t like losing weight there: I look forward to it! I’ve got enough bosom to spare. I can barely run because of it. Ugh.

I Love the Summer, I Hate the Summer

I actually find it more boring than the winter. I like mild weather, like how it is now in the Northeast. But when it gets hotter. I dunno. I don’t like festivals, street parties or outdoor events. I loved them as a child. Man, those were the greatest years of my life. Today, the only thing I truly find interesting is traveling to different countries. That takes time and money. My goals is to get going by September. Again.


I love what it can do for you. I don’t have this mindset that it is the “root of all evil.” Its purpose is to be used like the TOOL (in a positive meaning) that it is. I think people get confused with what money does. If you don’t have money, remember that BARTERING is what existed before coinage came about. Always remember that favors / good advice are basically priceless, in essence, especially coming from the right people.

I Gotta Hurry Up

The only thing that irritates me about myself is the inability to rush things. I’m not an efficient multitasking type of person. I’m an old fashioned needle-style record player: one track at a time. I need things to be just right. Although I am aware that a perfectionist streak is a good mask for hiding fear of failure. I take too long. My goal is get it done. I will fix is as I go along, but things must get done. Otherwise, we stagnate, right?

Breaking the Introvert Habits

I remember being more outgoing as a kid. I took a class that said Introverts become more “closed” as they get older. Hey, for people like me, the daily exercise is to talk to someone (in the real world) everyday. Even if it is to ask the time. Co-workers don’t count. People I already know don’t count.

That’s the one constant I have to maintain: talking to people!


As always is welcome, if you have any goals, spell ’em out. I like cheering people on. Have a good one.

Cheers everybody.


Health and Exercise

After having fallen off the (exercise) wagon several times, I’ve climbed back onto the horse. (See how good I am with mixing metaphors?)

I don’t read the news, which is hard for this news junkie to do. And yet, I feel way better than I used to. I think during the winter when cabin fever starts there’s nothing to do, but read, eat, and sleep. I have a treadmill and weights, but it’s hard being motivated at home.

I joined a health club. Knowing myself, I have to go early every morning. If I don’t, I’ll never go back. By the way, this place is awesome. It has a separate exercise room for women (for those of us who feel shy). I told the sales guy, “I’m sold”, when he showed me that room. Some days I know I don’t want an audience.

The funniest question(s) I received, “Why did you join? What motivated you to join?”

I said, “Lose weight.” Um, what other reason could there be?

My reasons are bundled together. I know I don’t want diabetes. I want my knees to stay in good condition. I owe it to my heart. I’m vain enough to want to look good (okay that is reason number 1). I want my energy back, and exercise gets you happy-happy-high.

The guy(s) kept prodding me like my doctor sent me over or something. Thankfully, and knock wood, I don’t have any health conditions. My number one goal is to make sure I don’t cause any of the self-inflicted kind.

And what’s my weight loss goal? I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.

Here’s an easy way to guess: based on my slow weight loss methods, it will take me six months to drop it all. And it’s not 60 to 100 lbs plus.


For Black Women: Why White Men are a Better Choice

A topic guaranteed to make your teeth grind or make you smile. I am tongue in cheek, so if you don’t see any clarifications like the word some, I still don’t mean all.

So, I’m looking around the web, and as a woman who likes men I’m seeing a positive development: black women affirming an interest in white men.

Didn’t know it was still taboo? Didya? I didn’t either, but like nappy hair versus relaxed, when a topic involves black women expect DRAMA, okay? Okay!

So I offer the following (slightly tongue in cheek) as to why white men are a better choice than black men:

1. No shortage here. There are a lot of white men, dark to light, tall to short, fat to lean. Take your pick. Plenty to go around.

2. He is The Man. Remember all those expressions from the 1960’s and 1970’s (and some people still use today)? The man’s keeping people down, the man’s got all these conspiracies… yada…yada…yada. Why not just be his woman? The white man does have all the power, in being with him a black woman gets the inside track on what The Man is up to.

3. He has the money to buy the food, clothing, housing, etc. He will not leave you to foot the bill or play “going dutch.” His tip will be more than sufficient, and the waitress wont give you the dirty look. Don’t know that look? Date a cheap and broke black man – you will see it and know it.

4. A white man will not accuse you of being a gold digger. He’s quite happy to marry them. You’ll be wife number 3, because he believes in the motto: if at first you don’t succeed, get another wife.

5. He marries. No baby daddy drama for this guy. He wants to be “Father Knows Best.”

6. The first thing that’ll strike you as odd is how your blood pressure goes down around this guy. Why? He’s not going to argue over every little nutty issue like a black man will. For a white man, life is an individual effort, there’s no systematic effort to keep him down. So he’ll be a rational man, not an emotional one.

7. A black woman’s hair is not an issue with a white man – in spite of what Imus said. Natural or relaxed, he doesn’t care.

8. A white man will find your feisty hot temper (if you have one), rather, ah, er, amusing. Yes, that’s right, amusing. He is not afraid of you. He will also like your “tell it like it is” spirit.

9. He’s going to have a strange hobby. He may be one of those guys collecting Star Wars, Star Trek and obscure 1950’s movie memorabilia off of eBay. It’s totally harmless and as the “40 Year Virgin” showed, could be worth quite a lot of money one day.

10. Looks aren’t everything. The features are different, skin and hair color / texture certainly is. Yet, that wont change the fact he can have a heart of gold. The nicest guys I’ve known have been white men. Nothing I made happen, it’s just my personal experience.

The list is incomplete, but there are plenty more reasons to decide why white men are a better choice than black men.

It’s great to get feedback from men, and the following is one from Anvil Orange:

Baby, I hear you.

And as a white guy who has had a couple of long-term relationships with black women, these are ones that the black women I’ve been with say they like the most:

3. He has the money to buy the food, clothing, housing, etc.

You know it. I make good money, and as far as I’m concerned, my job is to drive the car, and to pay for, well, whatever.

5. He marries. No baby daddy drama for this guy. He wants to be “Father Knows Best.”

Well, I haven’t been married to a black woman yet, but I’m down with the idea, if everything synchs up right. And if someone gets knocked up, then I’m ALWAYS going to do the right thing.

7. A black woman’s hair is not an issue with a white man.

True. I just don’t give a damn. Wear it any way you like, do the weave thing, whatever, just don’t make it too BIG. I don’t dig the whole big hair thing, no matter what race you are. One of the black women I dated wore hers natural, and I’m cool with that, too. You just knock yourself out – see #3.

8. A white man will find your feisty hot temper (if you have one), rather, ah, er, amusing.

True. And all the black women I’ve dated so far had a very quick temper. It is always funny, and sometimes hilarious, to see what they get worked up about.

9. He’s going to have a strange hobby.

I have three, but none anywhere as nerdy as anything having to do with Star Wars.

Here’s another one you left out:

Black guys care whether you’re light-skinned or dark, but most white guys just don’t care at all. We’re already dating a black chick; what do we care how black she is? Because no matter how light she is, she’s still gonna be darker than almost every white guy.

So, that’s the deal.

There is one downside – most white guys that date black women are fine with a few extra pounds, BUT, they can’t hang with the obesity thing. I know black guys have a pretty high affection/tolerance for women who are 5’5″ and 190 lbs. but most white guys just can’t see their way to it.

Same with me, and I love a big butt on a woman, as long as that thing is firm. But white guys are not into ‘bakery rolls” and folds of excess flesh.

One of those cultural differences, I suppose.

One more thing, and its an important one – I’m in a long-term, monogamous relationship with a black woman right now, and I could not be happier.

I haven’t asked yet, but I would say the chances of us getting married are around 95% and climbing.

She’s smart, funny and beautiful. I feel lucky.

And there you have it….

** Update: Please Have Sex With White Men **


Hair: Length Check and Bantu Knots

Note: My hair type is 4a-z, nappy, kinky, coily, cottony, soft, fine, moderately thick, and very very delicate.

Time to check the hair length again!

It grows so slow now-a-days. I’m still trying to figure out where that growth spurt a couple of years ago was due to.

I had to cut off 1/2 an inch to 1 inch on the ends, because I was getting irritated with knotting. I have to stay away from small two-strand twists; they are the cause of a lot of single strand knots for me.

This summer, I am doing the following for health and hair:

  • Eating a lot of fish, I’ve been consuming a lot of Japanese food too. I know not to eat too much, because of mercury concerns (among other pollutants / poisons).
  • The weather has been too cool for my stomach, but I hope I can start making my morning drinks again with carrots, bananas, yogurt, and flax seeds. Right now, all I eat is a banana for breakfast.
  • Taking vitamins roughly every other day. I’ve included a separate supplement of D3 and powdered C.
  • Working out (longer / harder). I’m working up to jogging longer than 10 minutes at a time; this is in addition to my walking and weight lifting.
  • Co-washing, which is washing with conditioners. Sometimes, I’ll shampoo.
  • No more flat ironing, although I itch, and ache, to every time I wash! I blow dry on a reasonable and comfortable heat setting. I always use a heat protectant!
  • I like to keep my hair completely covered under a scarf and /or in a protective style. If I do wear my hair “out”, I style it to look less than shoulder length.

I suppose if I flat iron, it would appear longer.

My standard routine, the changes are always minute:

  1. Saturate hair with White Rain Conditioner Coconut. I couldn’t resist buying it from the dollar store. I love this stuff cheap.
  2. Part hair into 4 sections – just the hands, no comb! – braid the root, and twist to the ends.
  3. Apply castor oil to ends of hair, around the hairline (edges), and the crown where I always part the hair, which is prone to dryness and breakage.
  4. Put on plastic cap, cover with scarf. Sleep on it, overnight.
  5. Exercise.
  6. Wash hair. Open each section at a time, wash scalp thoroughly, comb gently with fingers, re-braid and re-twist.
  7. Wrap tightly with a towel. No rubbing.
  8. Open each section at a time, apply heat protectant, make smaller sections, and blow dry hair.
  9. Bantu knot each section.
  10. Done.

I tried to do a silk wrap (sitting under the dryer with a plastic wrap around smoothed hair), but my hair laughed at my efforts.

I think it will be next year, before I do this again.


Life Style: Switching Up Routines

Time Flies

It is one thing to schedule events to keep the self busy, it is another to make sure they serve some purpose. Going out for the sake of going out can be a rather aimless waste of time as well.

Ever notice how everything happens at once? You get a phone call on the land line, and at the same time the door bells rings, and the cell phone goes off. I cannot tell you many times that happens. Weird.

The same situation occurs with expanding social and business activity. The busier you are, the busier you will become. Momentum gains activities speed up, and increases exponentially, or eventually spins out of control.

At some point, I reach overload and shut down. It hasn’t happened, yet. I have to pace myself.

Light Headed or Vertigo?

I bought a trampoline, because working out the same way all the time gets boring.

It makes me giggle after the first minute; after the second minute, I am ready to barf. I have a “light” head. I cannot ride roller coasters, or any gentle amusement parks rides (even the kiddie rides!) anymore.

After I get off the treadmill, it’s a disorienting experience. I’ll take a few steps, and everything in my peripheral vision moves along after a half-second time lag. It is such a weird sensation. Now, I wait a while before I get off, or I turn my head, and look around a bit before I take another step.

I prefer walking outside. My exercise routine is to walk slow, walk fast, attempt to jog and then cycle back to walk slow and walk fast. I used to be rather self-conscious about making an attempt to jog, but now I don’t care. It feels good to be able to do what I need to do to stay in shape and not worry about who’s watching, what they think, or have to say about it.