1. Taking myself seriously.
2. People who take themselves too seriously. Oh, so boring.
3. Comedians who don’t know how to tell a joke without using racial, sexual, politically-incorrect situations, profane language, stereotypes, and still aren’t funny. That’s the bigger crime, not being funny even after using up every taboo.
4. Extremely long trips in the plane, train, or car. I will do whatever I can to avoid it. Price may be no object.
5. Working for a corporation where almost all the managers are white males, and nearly everyone at the bottom is a woman. This place sucks.
6. Interviewing at a corporation where all the managers are men, and everyone at the bottom is a woman. This place sucks.
7. People who like to cut off a story you are telling just to observe something trivial. Hey, I’m through. I’d prefer to be told, “I don’t want to hear that story.” I can respect that. Just don’t be surprised when I return the favor.
8. TMI (too much information): Why wont you keep it to yourself? Not everyone is Oprah, Tyra, or an inquisitive reporter.
9. Older / younger women (black or white) who need to share their offensive opinion of one’s (take your pick) clothing, hair (style), weight, appearance, and family members that they cannot keep to themselves. I would like for them to try, or please, STFU.
10. Strange men who think they have the right to invade my personal space, or stare at me as though I must acknowledge them. Either say hello, or keep it moving. You aren’t special.
11. Dog owners. That’s why people poison the pooch, folks keep making a nuisance of the animal.
12. Excessively politically correct people, who know all the silly, bloody dumb abbreviations for the causes they support are irritating phonies and frauds. The “causes” they support with abbreviations, slang, or correct-speak, comes across as incoherent nonsense.
Wearing one’s “goodness” on the sleeve makes me suspect cynicism. So everyone is bad, hence they need you to tell them how to be good, pure, decent, and altruistic? Look, those who give to charity don’t bray about it like a donkey for 24/7. They are the truly kind people.
Collect your goody-two-shoes-cookies: go home. It’s a cruel world out there; nobody cares about how sincere you are pretending to be.
14. People who drive with the car windows down, playing hip hop / rap at the loudest volume possible. Effing morons.
15. Organizations using the same picture of a brown skinned child for the last twenty plus years to raise money.
16. Any “non-profit” company, corporation, or person trying to guilt-trip me into doing something “noble”: to send money, join their cause, or alter my behavior for the good of others. I just wanna firebomb your headquarters, or take a baseball bat upside your head.
Emotional blackmail is not a good way to get me to see the worthiness of the endeavor. Give me a rational, logical, and substantial reason why I should do something. Otherwise ….
17. Being able to predict the end of the majority of movies, and TV shows, within the first 15-20 minutes. I’ve been able to do that since I was 9 years old.
18. All media, new and old, working to get me to concerned, stirred up, or worried about elected officials, government, the economy, box office tallies, company x going down the toilet, strife in country y, starvation in country z, and famous-for-no-reason celebrity bleached blond, or lace front wearing, twit.
I don’t care. I don’t want to know.
19. Women who are hostile (evil eye, verbal combativeness) to other women, because the object of scorn is (extremely) attractive, apparently fussy, younger, and minding her own business. How about leaving her alone?
20. Men who are verbally (and potentially physically) abusive to women, because the object of fixation is (extremely) attractive, apparently fussy, and ignoring their existence. How about leaving her alone?
22. Women who complain about their spouses to me. I’m feeling contempt for you honey, not sympathy.
23. Abbreviations are meaningless without an initial description. I don’t even bother to Google: I stop reading.
24. Familiarity. Due to “us” being “black.” Step back! Back up, back up! I don’t know you. Show some manners, it is not hard.
25. Assuming that, because I am “black”, I will agree with every I’m-black-first-woman-second, liberal, progressive, left-wing, Democratic Party, far-flung Marxist, Socialist, Communist, anti-Semitic, anti-white, anti-Asian, anti-Latino, anti-male, misanthropic, xenophobic, racist, misogynistic philosophy, or sentiment expressed.
Try again. I don’t believe the answer is always so simple. There are nuances to everything.
Phew, it’s amazing the number of people I’ve met, who will sidle up to me, and assume, I share, or embrace their biases, beliefs, common tropes, stereotypes, and prejudices, because I am a woman who’s “black.” Scary. You don’t know me.
26. Self-pity. I suggest suicide as a cure.
27. Emotional bullies. (see 25)
28. People who want you to be impressed with their degrees, or the degrees of others, from Ivy League or prestigious colleges or universities. I’m happy for them. Impressed? No.
29. People who spend all day talking about how much money their spouses make, how well connected or wealthy their family is, or other talking points designed to make you realize just how fabulous and awesome they are. Okay. Cool! Here’s a cookie.
30. Men who wont marry the mother of his illegitimate bastards, and wants to pretend she’s stopping it from happening. The disrespect to her, himself and the kid(s) is appalling. No one is fooled. You don’t look like a responsible “man”.
31. Women who wont marry the father of her illegitimate bastards, and wants to pretend that she’s liberated, empowered, and a clever feminist defeating paternalistic matrimony. Yeah, everyone’s really awed with your notion of freedom. Selfish and irresponsible, that’s what you are.
32. The Internet.
33. People with an entitlement mentality. This country is decaying. The social fabric unraveling day by day, bit by bit, because everyone is expecting the labor of others to fulfill their needs, wants and livelihood. It’s an impossible demand and situation. Everyone cannot live out of the pockets of others. Everyone must earn their own keep.
34. People who think that a bit of immorality in one place doesn’t seep into others. If your “friend” is a thief, they will also come to steal from you, or worse. Count on it.
36. Malodorous persons, places or things.
37. Long, long, long lines anywhere – that are barely moving. I don’t even have to be on one. Just can’t stand the sight of it.
38. Thieves: be it of useful things, time, patience, and good feelings.
39. Katy Perry, Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, and whatever “famous” person for the next 15 minutes, whom we’ll never see, or (God willing) never hear of, or from, again. These names are just the tip of this particular iceberg.
40. Crowds. Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh!
There could be more, but I’ll stop here.
To be continued, with what I Like.